(Yuuta's POV)
"We're finally here!"
Elena and I shouted at the same time, right in the middle of the road like a pair of escaped zoo animals on their first city trip. People were giving us the side-eye, one guy even crossed the street like we were contagious.
But did we care? Absolutely not. This was a special day.
Erza, however, was already regretting her life choices. She raised her hand and smacked it against her temple with the force of a disappointed goddess.
"Why… why is this idiot monkey always so loud?"
"Because today is important, my beloved dragon wife!" I declared with pride. "Elena, let's hurry. We have to get the best seats!"
"Window seat! Elena wants the window seat!" she cheered, jumping with excitement.
"Uh… sweetheart," I bent down to her level, "movie theatres don't have window seats."
Her eyes widened. Her lips curled down. Her cheeks puffed out like marshmallows of rebellion.
"But Elena wants window seat!"
Ugh. She's too cute. This must be illegal in at least seven countries.
Erza sighed with enough weight to sink the entire cinema. "You're both morons. Loud, illogical morons."
"You don't understand, Erza. This is your first movie theatre experience, right?" I said dramatically, throwing an arm over her shoulder like a tour guide with a destiny. "This is one of humanity's greatest treasures! Moving stories on a massive screen. Big sound. Popcorn that costs more than my monthly rent."
She raised a brow, unimpressed. "How big is this 'screen' you keep bragging about?"
I gave her a proud nod. "Big enough to make even a dragon like you feel small."
Her eyes sparkled for a moment. "Hmm. Then I shall see this 'screen' for myself."
"That's the spirit!" I grinned. "We're watching Jurassic Pond Trex Rampage!"
"Trex… what?" she asked, already suspicious.
"It's a legendary giant lizards who eat people. Pure art."
Elena gasped, clutching her little hands together. "Like Mama, right, Papa?!"
I beamed. "Exactly like Mama. Beautiful, terrifying, and always—"
BOOM!
Her fist slammed into my chest like a meteor strike. I swear I left my body for three seconds. My vision blurred. My soul whispered, Run.
I lay there on the pavement as Erza stood above me like a final boss.
"Do I look like a walking lizard that eats humans?!"
"…I'm sorry, my lovely terrifying wife…"
She walked ahead like a general heading into battle—each step carried the weight of royalty and the threat of violence.
Naturally, I followed from a safe distance, rubbing the back of my head where she had so lovingly punched me earlier. I could still feel the phantom pain. I was convinced her fist was forged in the Dragon Kingdom's volcano.
But my savior was already at work.
Elena, my tiny doctor and full-time cuteness ambassador, twirled in front of the entrance while chanting her healing spell in her sing-song voice:
"Pain, pain, go away~
Come again another day~
My papa wants to see a movie~
Pain, pain go away~!"
She spun on one foot, arms flailing like a wizard casting light magic.
I couldn't help it. I bent down and scooped her into a hug.
"So cute! You are definitely my daughter. No DNA test required. I trust my genes completely."
She giggled, wrapping her tiny arms around my neck. "Papa, you're funny!"
I felt my heart explode into sparkles. This child was the reason I hadn't gone completely bald from stress.
COUGH.
A sharp, over-dramatic cough snapped us back to reality.
It was Erza, of course. The walking embodiment of let's hurry up before I throw you through a wall.
"Can we go in already?" she said, her voice flat but dangerous.
"Yes, yes, my terrifyingly beautiful wife," I nodded. "Let's go watch something… nice."
We stepped inside the theatre lobby—and let me tell you, it was like stepping into a cathedral made by popcorn gods.
The place was called Maz Theatre, and it looked like something straight out of a futuristic city. Glowing ceiling lights, marble-like floors, giant screens playing trailers, and the smell—ohh the smell—buttery popcorn mixed with sugar and debt.
Everything screamed expensive. Even the air felt like it had a VIP pass.
Erza glanced around with mild curiosity. "Is this what you meant by impressive human architecture?"
"This is just the lobby," I whispered proudly. "Wait till you see the screen—it's bigger than your dragon form."
She raised an eyebrow. "Now that's a bold claim."
"I speak only facts."
"Papa, Papa!" Elena tugged at my hand, pointing at the glowing posters ahead. "Movie posters!"
"Yes, we're almost there!" I said, energizing myself with fatherly hype. "Let's go find the perfect one—something action-packed, thrilling, not involving cursed spirits or possessed furniture."
(Spoiler alert: I would not get what I wanted, Sadly.)
We finally reached.
The back wall of the theatre lobby, where dozens of movie posters were hanging like proud warriors waiting to be chosen for battle.
I clapped my hands together. "Alright, Erza. Now comes the most important part—choosing the movie."
She crossed her arms, scanning the posters like a general inspecting enemy territory. Elena bounced between us, eyes sparkling like she'd just discovered a treasure vault.
There were so many posters.
Animated films with magical cats. Romance dramas with tragic violin soundtracks. Superhero flicks. Fantasy adventures. One had a chicken wielding a sword. Another had a ninja baker.
But me? I had one goal.
My eyes locked on the holy grail of cinema: Trex Rampage.
The poster showed a monstrous T-Rex, frothing with rage, kicking a police car while helicopters exploded around him. It was pure testosterone wrapped in CGI.
"Yes… yes… that one," I whispered, eyes gleaming. "The Mad Trex goes on a city-destroying rampage. It's chaos, explosions, and giant reptiles—everything I love!"
I turned to Erza, silently praying to the Dragon Gods she would pick it.
She was still calmly analyzing every poster. I was sending her psychic messages: Pick the dino… pick the dino… pick the—
"Papa! Mama!" Elena chirped, pointing at a poster. "Elena wants to see this one!"
We both turned.
Erza walked toward the poster like a noble investigating a mysterious clue. "Hmm… interesting. What movie is this?"
I leaned forward, curious.
Surely, our sweet daughter had chosen something soft and sweet. Maybe that new cartoon where magical rabbits solve crimes with cupcakes.
I saw the title.
And my blood turned to ice.
Konjuring.
A horror film. The kind where demons show up in mirrors, creepy kids hum lullabies in the dark, and people go into basements for no reason.
My body stiffened. My mouth went dry. My soul attempted to leave through the emergency exit.
Erza glanced sideways at me, sensing my silence. "What's wrong?" she asked innocently.
"N-Nothing," I said, clearly dying inside. "Just… appreciating the poster design. Very... cursed."
She squinted. "You look pale. Are you… afraid?"
"Afraid?" I said, voice cracking. "Of course not! Why would I be afraid? I just don't… respect ghosts. They have no concept of personal space."
Then came the smile.
Not a regular smile.
The evil smile.
It curled slowly across her lips like a final boss revealing her second phase.
"My, my… my brave husband is scared of a few little ghosts?"
"I'm not scared!" I declared, visibly trembling. "It's just... horror movies have bad lighting. I care about eye strain!"
Erza turned to the ticket counter without a second's hesitation.
"Excuse me," she said sweetly. "Three tickets for Konjuring, please. 3D."
"EH?! No—NO! Erza, wait! I protest! My life is at stake!"
She turned back to me, grinning like a villain with a remote in hand.
"Too late, my dear husband. We're watching it. In full horrifying, three-dimensional detail."
And then… she laughed.
Full-on, hands-on-hips, evil dragon queen laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"You evil dragon!" I shouted. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Elena clapped like this was part of the show. "Yay! Elena loves ghost movie!"
…Is it too late to fake a medical emergency?
---
To Be Continued…
(If I survive.)