(Yuuta POV)
"Where the hell is my phone…?"
I was crawling on the floor like a detective sniffing for clues—except the only thing I found under the couch was a stale piece of popcorn and something that looked suspiciously like a dead bug wearing dust as armor.
"I've been searching for an hour… Where did it go?!"
I flipped the pillow. Nothing. Checked my pockets. Empty. Even peeked inside the washing machine like a desperate man. Still no phone.
That's when a soft, angelic voice echoed behind me.
"Papa, what are you doing?"
I turned around, heart melting instantly. There stood my adorable demon in pink pajamas—Elena—tilting her head like a confused kitten.
"My cute little dragon spawn," I said dramatically, crawling over like I was in a war film. "Have you seen Daddy's phone?"
"No, Papa. Why?" she blinked.
"I bought a lottery ticket yesterday when we were buying popcorn, and today is the result!"
"Ohh~" she said with the same curiosity of a scientist discovering a new planet.
I stood up and screamed like a banshee, "WHERE IS MY DAMN PHONE?!"
That's when the dragon Queen arrived.
"What kind of war ritual are you performing this early in the morning?" Erza stood at the doorway, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised like a queen judging a peasant's dance.
"I'm looking for my phone," I said, still upside-down on the couch. "I need it right now."
"To tweet about how dumb you are?"
"No! The lottery results are out today!" I popped up like toast. "Remember yesterday when we were buying popcorn? I bought a lottery ticket!"
She narrowed her eyes. "And?"
"And…" I held up the wrinkled ticket like it was a divine scroll. "First prize is a 3-night, 4-day trip to Tokyo, Japan!"
"Tokyo?" Her voice dropped. "As in… real Tokyo? Sushi, sakura, and neon lights?"
I nodded rapidly.
Erza's eyes gleamed for a brief moment… then died. "If you actually win, then fine—we go. But if not, you've wasted my money on your dumb mortal dreams."
"Oh come on, babe. Be positive! My luck's amazing! I'm your lucky charm!"
"Your luck is so bad," she scoffed, walking toward the kitchen, "that I'm convinced just marrying you broke three ancient dragon blessings on my bloodline."
"…Hmm, you know what? You're right. Otherwise, why would I end up marrying you, huh? Must be my bad luck acting up again."
Cue dead silence.
She turned slowly, eyes glowing with ancient wrath.
"What. Did. You. Just. Say?"
Next thing I knew, I was airborne—well, partially. She grabbed my collar with one hand and held me up like a ragdoll.
"I'm sorry! I was just joking!" I squealed.
"Say it again, you idiot mortal," she growled, her eyes glowing faintly Striking Voliet.
"M-My goddess of beauty and destruction, please forgive this weak soul," I babbled, pressing my hands together like a monk.
She dropped me like a sack of potatoes and rolled her eyes. "Disgraceful."
And that's when—
DING!
My phone buzzed from inside the microwave.
Yes. The microwave.
I don't even remember putting it there. Was I heating it up for faster charging?
I grabbed it, ignoring Erza's judging gaze, and opened the lottery app with trembling fingers.
"Erza…"
She looked at me warily. "Don't play with me."
"I—I think we won…"
She blinked. "You mean…?"
"Pack your bags, woman! We're going to Japan!"
Erza stared at me in silence… then smirked.
"Guess your luck's not total garbage after all."
"Yah" Papa won, Papa won". Elena said in excitement.
Then she stopped:-_
"What is Japan, Papa?" Elena asked, blinking up at me with those dangerously adorable eyes that could melt even the coldest of dragons.
I knelt down dramatically like a wise monk about to bless the next generation.
"You know Raccoon Robot, Shinchan, and Pikachu, right?"
She nodded quickly. "Yes! I love them! Shinchan dances like you when Mama throws slippers at you!"
"…Don't remind me."
I smiled. "Well, they all come from Japan."
"Really?!" Her eyes sparkled. Literally. I swear, I saw actual stars. "Then can we touch them?"
I clutched my chest.
God, she's too cute. If I die from a heart attack now, please let it be on her birthday so she remembers me forever.
"Erza," I heard myself say with shaky breath. "I don't think my heart can take much more cuteness."
But she wasn't paying attention to me. Her eyes were wide.
"Wait… did you say Tokyo?"
"Yes," I replied, beaming.
She leaned forward, whispering like a fan-girl in denial. "That means we can meet anime characters, right?"
"Of course!" I declared proudly. "I can't wait to see Ren, Alice, Nami, Robin, Lucy… so many cute girls! I love you all—I'd die for you!"
Suddenly, my instincts screamed. My internal danger meter hit red.
The temperature in the room dropped faster than my confidence during confession day in high school.
My voice stopped.
So did my breath.
Because the air around me had just gone cold.
Very cold.
My instincts screamed: You. Done. Messed. Up.
"…Cough," I said, trying to reset the atmosphere.
"I-I mean," I said, sweating like a criminal in court, "I love you, my dear wife! Those anime girls are fictional! My heart belongs only to you! Forever! Eternally! Immortally!"
Erza sighed, shaking her head. "I'm getting tired of beating you, honestly. Let's just focus on packing things."
"Yes, ma'am," I saluted.
I wiped the sweat off my forehead like a man who just survived a wild bear attack.
"So… when's the trip?" she asked over her shoulder.
I looked at my phone.
"…Tomorrow morning."
"TOMORROW?!" she shouted, almost breathing fire. "Why so fast?! We have to pack EVERYTHING!"
"Elena!!" she yelled. "Go grab your things right now!"
"Yes, Mama!" our little dragon zoomed off like a bullet, her tiny feet tapping across the floor like a marching hamster. Too cute. Send help.
Erza ran to the bedroom too, dragging out suitcases like a warrior preparing for war.
As for me?
I casually sat on the sofa.
Nah. I wasn't going to pack anything.
I had a secret weapon.
"Let me show you what true leadership looks like…"
I stood up, grinned, and shouted:
"Pokémon! I choose you!!"
I threw an imaginary Pokéball with intense flair. Shadows rippled at my feet. From the darkness stepped out my loyal servant—Allen, my personal bodyguard and shadow soldier.
He knelt on one knee and bowed.
"My master. I am here to serve."
"Allen," I said with all the seriousness of a commander preparing for war. "This is a high-tier mission. You are to pack everything. We are invading Japan."
Allen's eyes sparkled like a newly polished sword. "Subarashi… Subharshi... My master your will is my existence."
I let out a dramatic villain laugh.
"HAHAHA—"
SMACK!
A fist exploded against my back.
I coughed up my soul.
"OWW! What the hell?!"
"You lazy donkey," Erza growled. "How dare you use Allen for your work!"
"I have a personal bodyguard for a reason!" I whined, rubbing my spine.
"Allen," she snapped. "If you follow his orders, I'll personally turn you into a frozen statue and decorate our Balcony with your corpse."
Allen stood up straight like he'd been hit with divine lightning. "YES, MY LADY! I shall not assist Master with packing!"
"Et tu, Allen?!" I gasped, clutching my chest.
He turned to me, full of sorrow. "Master… you are married. Your will is no longer absolute."
"This is betrayal."
"This is marriage," he corrected solemnly.
Erza smiled—sweetly, but with murder behind it. "Since you tried to cheat… you'll pack my things… and Elena's too."
"No. No no no. That's power abuse in reverse! This is a violation of human rights!"
"Yuuta," she said, voice dripping with calm threat, "if you forget anything, and I mean anything… it will be your last day on Earth."
I stared at my cursed hands.
"…I lost in my own game."
"…Cursed be my fate," I whispered, staring at my suitcase like it was a prison cell.
Thus began my downfall.
Defeated by love, anime, and marriage.
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To be continued...