Chapter 92 Onyi's POV
I feel like I'm losing myself. Every day, the darkness gets closer, wrapping around me like shadows that won't let go. I see things out of the corner of my eye – movements, whispers of things I can't quite understand. My eyes, those black eyes that used to be like everyone else's, now seem to see more than I want them to. They see into the darkness, into places where things wait and watch.
Sometimes I talk to myself. I know it sounds crazy, but it's like I'm trying to make sense of things in my head. I whisper words, trying to grasp onto something real in a world that's shifting around me. Amanda's worried about me. I see it in her eyes when she looks at me. She asks what's wrong, what's happening to me. But how do I explain this? I don't understand it myself.
I hear things in the night. Whispers that aren't there. Feelings like someone's watching me, pulling at me. It's like the darkness is alive, and it's pulling me into it. I try to fight it, to push it away. But it's hard when I feel like I'm made of shadows myself now. My black eyes seem to draw the darkness in like they're hungry for it.
Amanda's trying to be there for me. She's worried, and I can tell she wants to help. But how can she help when I don't know what's happening to me? I feel like I'm walking a path I don't understand, with darkness on all sides. Sometimes I wonder if it's because of my connection to Amanda. We were close. Did that make me more vulnerable to this darkness?
I don't know what's going to happen to me. I don't know if I'll keep slipping into this darkness until there's nothing left of me but shadows. Sometimes I think about running, about getting away from everyone and everything. But where would I go? The darkness is in me, in my eyes, in the way I feel things. It's like I'm becoming something else, something made of night.
Amanda says she'll be there for me as long as I need her. But I see the fear in her eyes too. Fear of what's happening to me, of what I might become. I don't blame her. I'm scared too. Scared of this darkness that's pulling me in. Scared of losing myself completely.
I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if I'll find a way out of this darkness or if it'll consume me. But for now, I'm trying to hold on to whatever is left of me that's not shadow. I'm trying to hold on to Amanda, to the memories of who I was before this darkness started pulling me in.