Black smoke rose from the middle of the mushroom forest, and screams of agony echoed through the air. Bulma knelt on the ground, cursing at whatever gods might be listening.
"My Dragon Balls!!"
Oolong waddled over to her, looking around nervously. "Hey! Just give up on them—we're in deep trouble here!"
"No way!" Bulma shot back.
"Fine! Why don't I just become your boyfriend?!" Oolong said with a hopeful smile.
"AS IF I'M GONNA LET YOU?!" she screamed at him.
She ran toward Goku, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him violently. "WAKE UP, DAMN IT! YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE OF THIS!"
She dropped him and curled up, hugging her legs as she began sobbing. "I'm pretty sure they have the last one! Maybe they already summoned the dragon... WAAAAHHHHH!!!"
She threw herself on the ground and started having a full tantrum, kicking her legs and pounding her fists.
Goku began stirring at the sound of all the shouting. He raised his upper body quickly and sat up, looking around with half-closed eyes. Bulma and Oolong jumped back, startled by how fast he got up.
"Goku...?" Oolong said, genuinely concerned about him being betrayed and drugged.
"I'm kinda hungry..." Goku mumbled.
"THAT'S NOT THE TIME!!!" Bulma shouted, running toward him and grabbing his collar, shaking him again.
"Where's Mai? I don't see her," Goku asked, looking around calmly.
Oolong facepalmed. A vein bulged from Bulma's temple.
"IT'S BECAUSE OF HER THAT WE'RE IN THIS SITUATION!!!" She slapped him with full force, immediately regretting it as her hand stung.
Goku stood up and dusted himself off. "...Yeah, I knew it. And yet..."
Bulma fell to her knees, tears in her eyes, holding her aching hand. "Doesn't matter now—they probably have all the Dragon Balls and summoned Shenron!"
"No, they didn't," Goku said calmly.
"How can you be so sure?" Bulma replied, looking away with a pout.
"'Cause I still have my Dragon Ball," Goku said casually while walking toward the debris and searching for his Nyoi-bo.
Bulma's eyes opened wide. She stood up, hands on her hips, puffing out her chest, and started laughing proudly. "Serves them right! Those fools! They forgot one! GAHAHAHA!"
"How can you change moods so fast?" Oolong mumbled.
Goku sat on a rock behind them and planted his Nyoi-bo in the ground next to him. "Do you still have the radar? We need to catch them."
"Yeah... but no car. The capsules are in the briefcase."
In the background, Yamcha and Puar were observing them from behind some mushroom trees.
"My Dragon Balls! They really stole them!" Yamcha muttered to himself. "No choice—we're gonna help them, and after that..." He grinned as he jumped into his jeep and drove toward them.
Goku, Bulma, and Oolong heard the sound of a car approaching.
"KYAAAA! YA-YAMCHA-SAMA!!!" Bulma screamed and blushed.
"Not this guy again," Oolong mumbled.
"I'm not in the mood..." Goku said flatly.
Yamcha stopped in front of them with a big, fake smile. "Hey, wait a second! Wow, what a coincidence! What are you three doing in this place?"
Goku squinted his eyes, looking at him suspiciously.
Bulma immediately jumped into the passenger seat, stuck her cheek against Yamcha's, puffed out her chest, and said in a cute voice, "You really saved us~"
Yamcha froze completely, his face turning bright red.
"You're really shallow, you know," Oolong said.
"I don't want to hear that from you!" Bulma snapped back.
They all piled into Yamcha's car and drove away. Goku sat in the back, hand on his cheek, Nyoi-bo resting on his shoulder, with a serious expression. He began monologuing in his mind:
*What's happening to me? Why did I let my guard down? I knew this was gonna happen... Did she soften me? In that case, she did a marvelous job. But what's bothering me the most is... why am I so mad? People have always betrayed me, and it never pissed me off this much. That forged me to be emotionless about this subject, but now... I'm pissed. I'm so pissed! ...Why?*
Goku regained his focus and saw that everyone was looking at him, somewhat shocked and scared.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Oolong pointed to his right. While lost in thought, Goku had crushed the car door handle between his fingers.
"I didn't do it!" Goku said quickly.
---
Meanwhile, in a little red car, Shu the fox ninja was driving with Mai sitting next to him, her expression serious and hurt. She squeezed her arms against her chest, feeling an emptiness where something usually was.
"That went perfectly! Now Pilaf-sama will control the world!" Shu said excitedly.
He got no response from Mai, who was deep in thought.
"Mai, what's wrong?" Shu asked.
She heard him and turned with a fake smile. "No, nothing."
Looking at her and knowing she wasn't okay, Shu said, "I don't know what they did to you, especially that Goku, but you're safe now."
"What?" she asked, puzzled.
"We know—me and Pilaf-sama—they did perverted stuff to you! Those monsters!!!"
"What?! No!!" Mai cried out as their car continued down the desert road.
In pilaf castle.
Mai and Shu brought the briefcase to Pilaf's throne room. The diminutive emperor stood with his hands behind his back, looking down at Mai as she knelt in front of him.
"It's been a while, Mai..." Pilaf said with authority.
"Yes, Pilaf-s...sama," she answered, opening the briefcase.
Pilaf looked down and immediately started blushing. Mai noticed his reaction and glanced into the case—a pink pair of panties was sitting on top of the Dragon Balls.
"I'm sorry!!" Mai blushed furiously, snatching the underwear to hide it behind her back.
Pilaf cleared his throat and peered into the briefcase again, then frowned. "There are only six Dragon Balls here."
"You should have counted them," Pilaf said dismissively. "Anyway, the last one is coming our way." He gestured toward the radar display.
Mai twitched as she looked at the blinking dot approaching their location. "Goku-sama..." she mumbled under her breath.
Her face was conflicted. She should be loyal to Pilaf—after all, that entire adventure with Goku was supposed to be about luring him in and lowering his guard. But...
"Pilaf-sama!" Mai said urgently. "Goku-sa—... Goku is a fearsome foe! We cannot stay here—he will eradicate us!"
Shu jumped up, looking scared. "She's right! That guy's a monster!"
But Pilaf wasn't impressed. "What do you mean? You're saying I could lose to some kid? In MY castle?"
"But Pilaf—" Mai tried to warn him.
"ENOUGH!" Pilaf shouted, clicking a button on his desk.
Two mechanical claws shot out from the walls and grabbed both Mai and Shu, lifting them into the air.
"Why me?!" Shu shouted as he dangled helplessly.
"I will get the Dragon Ball from this midget and kill him," Pilaf declared menacingly, despite being only 3'9" tall himself. "Hyohyohyo! Now that the last one is coming, the world will finally be mine!"
Shu, hanging upside down from his claw, looked at the security monitor. "Goku and the others have arrived!"
At those words, Mai twitched nervously—not because she feared Goku's wrath, but because she would have to face them all after betraying them.
Goku and the others arrived in front of a massive castle. On top of it sat a huge satellite dish that gleamed in the sunlight.
Bulma jumped out of the vehicle. Yamcha fell from it onto all fours, exhausted from being next to a woman for so long.
"There's the entrance!" Bulma announced, running toward it with everyone following—except Goku, who walked slowly behind them.
"There's probably a trap," Goku said nonchalantly.
"A trap? In an enemy castle? No way!" Bulma replied sarcastically.
After two minutes of walking, the walls suddenly slammed shut behind them, trapping them in a tiny space. In the corner was a security camera, and behind it were Pilaf, Shu, and Mai.
"The Dragon Ball isn't in the car," Mai reported.
"Oh? Do you know where it is?" Pilaf asked, looking at the monitor.
Mai pointed at Goku on the screen. "Goku has a sack between his legs."
They all stared at her for a moment. Pilaf turned back to the monitor with a disgusted expression. "Tasteless as always."
A small screen flickered to life in the cramped space where Goku and the others were trapped. Pilaf's face appeared on it, with Mai behind him and only Shu's ear visible at the edge of the frame.
"I am Emperor Pilaf! I know you have the last Dragon Ball. Hand it over to me, or you will regret it!"
"Like we'd ever hand it to you, smurf!" Bulma shot back, before noticing Mai in the background. "Mai! How could you betray us?!"
Goku stood to the side, leaning against the wall with his arms folded. His eyebrows twitched when he heard Mai was there.
Mai turned her face away to avoid eye contact.
Bulma tried to reason with her. "Mai, we went on an adventure together as friends—"
Goku cut her off. "Friends? I think you've got something wrong, Bulma. She was never our ally—she was our hostage. My hostage. I only used her to avoid getting attacked by her weak-ass team and having them annoy us. I knew they'd wait until we collected all the balls... And what do you know? As predicted. But I was too soft and believed her in the end. No need for a second betrayal... Shame on me."
"What's with the monologue? Go ahead and cry," Pilaf responded mockingly.
Bulma looked at Goku with concern. "Son-kun..."
Behind Pilaf, Mai had turned her head to the side, her hair hiding her face. She was feeling extreme guilt, and every word from Goku was like a knife to her heart.
"Anyway, if you don't want to give it to me willingly, fine! I'll do something perverted to you!" Pilaf declared.
A mechanical claw shot out from the ceiling and grabbed Bulma. Already annoyed by the situation, Goku jumped up and sliced through the claw, dropping Bulma safely to the ground.
"ARRRGGG! HE'S ANNOYING!!!" Pilaf shouted.
Shu suggested they use sleeping gas. Pilaf found the idea genius and executed it immediately.
Under the screen, two small holes opened and began spraying sleeping gas. The entire group saw and heard it, starting to cough. But before succumbing, Goku noticed something and dropped low to the ground, away from the direction of the gas, and took a deep breath.
In less than ten seconds, they all collapsed unconscious.
When Pilaf and his team arrived wearing gas masks, Pilaf himself had forgotten to put one on and immediately fell asleep as well.
"Take him. I'll recover the last Dragon Ball," Mai said to Shu.
Shu grabbed the unconscious Pilaf and carried him out of the building.
Mai approached Goku's unconscious body. She reached out with her hand, moving toward his pouch, but instead passed by it to grab him by the waist, pulling him against her in a tight, warm embrace.
This woman was truly conflicted—torn between her loyalty to Pilaf and her feelings for Goku. Behind the gas mask's eyepieces, tears began to form.
She gently laid him back down on the ground, took the Dragon Ball from his pouch, and ran toward her master. Her footsteps echoed through the empty tunnels.
Goku, still lying on his back, opened his eyes and muttered, "Fuck... Just make up your mind..."
He got up while everyone else was still sleeping. He approached the wall that had trapped them, put his hand down on the ground, grabbed the bottom of the door, and lifted it, breaking the mechanism by forcing it open. When it reached his height, he started passing through.
"Were you faking being unconscious this whole time?" came a voice from above.
It was Puar, flying overhead and still looking a little dizzy from the gas.
Goku turned away to continue walking. "I don't have time for chatter."
He let go of the wall, and Puar barely managed to slip through before it slammed back down with a thunderous crash, sending up a cloud of dust.
"I'm coming with you!" Puar declared in his high-pitched, cute voice.
Goku ignored him and continued outside the castle. In front of him stood Pilaf, still looking dizzy, along with Shu and Mai. Goku quickly hid behind a wall.
Puar noticed them and started to shout, "ST—"
Immediately, Goku grabbed him by the cheeks, squeezing his mouth shut. "Shut up! We're here to observe!"
Shu brought all seven Dragon Balls to Pilaf, placing them on the ground in a circle.
"Finally! I will have the world under my foot!" Pilaf declared, putting his hands out in front of him dramatically. "Come out, dragon, and make my wish come true!!!"
The Dragon Balls began to glow brighter and brighter before they started floating into the air. Then a brilliant pillar of light blasted from the spheres, shooting straight up into the sky before beginning to swirl and spiral.
Finally, a massive, long green dragon emerged from the light, towering over the entire castle. Shenron opened his enormous mouth, his deep voice shaking the very ground beneath them.
"Speak! Tell me your wish! I will grant you any one wish you want!"
Pilaf stepped forward confidently. "My wish is..."
Behind the wall, Goku stood up. "Okay, time to move."