Chapter 153: If You Want to Shoot the Man, Shoot the Horse First
"Well then, let's begin…"
Eikou started to seriously operate this game.
「Your target is the couple Siegfried and Kriemhild.」
「You don't rush to take action, but quietly wait for the best opportunity to act.」
「Not long after, you discovered the most suitable opportunity, which was precisely when the two of them quarreled. Siegfried was not good with words, while Kriemhild's personality was extremely stubborn, so the two of them quarreling was inevitable and happened frequently.」
「Sensing the cracks in their marital relationship, you decided to seize this chance to begin your move.」
「Siegfried, Kriemhild, whose situation do you care about more?」
Two choices appeared before him.
By common sense, now he should choose to side with Kriemhild.
The fact that the game suddenly gave this option definitely had its own intention.
Therefore, Eikou decided he had to role-play from the perspective of "the blond-haired, tanned guy" to think.
"Right now they're just having a marital quarrel, not truly separated. If I make a move at this time, I'm afraid it's still too hasty."
"They often say if you want to shoot the man, shoot the horse first. Why don't I choose to observe Siegfried's situation first, clearly grasp his background and patterns of action, then depending on the circumstances make my move—whether to sow discord in their relationship, or to make him drop his guard, or even improvise flexibly, all are possible!"
Good heavens, to already think this far right from the start, I truly was born carrying the Holy Physique of cuckold!
"Sorry about this, brother Siegfried!"
「You chose to side with Siegfried.」
「You discovered he was alone and dejected, troubled over his unhappy marriage.」
「With ill intent in mind, you approached him, pretended to comfort him, patted his shoulder, then found a place to invite him for drinks.」
「Drinking until the mood was high, you knew your chance had come…」
"Don't tell me it's to get him drunk and then go after his wife? What kind of porn film scenario is this, for god's sake!"
Eikou felt a little uneasy, not knowing how his pixel character would act at this moment.
"My first time going cuck someone, it really is a bit nerve-wracking…"
「Taking advantage of Siegfried being drunk and unguarded…」
「You put your arm around him, then forcefully kissed him!」
"WHAT THE FUCKKK!!!!"
On the game screen, the two pixel characters stuck tightly together, his character suddenly lunging at Siegfried and forcefully kissing him passionately.
He stared at the game screen, blinked a few times, then smacked his forehead hard.
He still didn't understand what on earth this situation was.
"Tristan, Tristan of Sadness, Tristram! Come here for a sec, why do I feel like I can't make sense of this screen!"
"What the…"
Tristan glanced at his game screen, then said pensively: "Seems like you accidentally picked Siegfried's personal route."
Good grief, so just now that branching choice wasn't about strategy to conquer Kriemhild, but rather 「Siegfried and Kriemhild, who do you want to cuck」?
"What do you mean Siegfried's route, explain to me, isn't this supposed to be a game about NTR-ing someone's wife, why is my character getting entangled with her husband! Why does this game even have such a bizarre route!"
"Haha, the original "Love Sleeping 2" didn't have this route, but the publisher, in order to cater to the diverse voices of LGBT fans, added a gay route in the Royal Edition. Besides conquering the wife, players can also establish an inescapable relationship with the husband, and then reach HAPPY ENDING!"
"This route really didn't need to be added, did it, does this crappy game even have LGBT fans?"
But at this point, Eikou finally seemed to understand why this was a Sony exclusive game!
Seeing the two pixel characters stuck tightly together, he quickly searched through the menu to see if there was a load file option.
No way am I going to have a happy ending with some man, I'll reload from the start right away!
"…Where's the load option?"
He searched the main interface for quite a while, but couldn't find any place to load a file.
"Sorry, this game only has a single save slot," Tristan said seriously. "If you want to choose another route, you're forced to quickly complete the current personal route and then choose again in the next playthrough. Or, you could spend money to buy DLC to unlock an additional save slot."
"Isn't this supposed to be the Royal Edition, why the hell does even a basic function like loading require buying DLC, in the end your so-called Royal Edition is just optimizing the LGBT route, isn't it!"
Eikou stared at the two pixel characters passionately kissing on the screen, and he wished he could just throw the controller away.
「Taking advantage of Kriemhild's inattention, you successfully seized Siegfried.」
「You have established with Siegfried a relationship of no return...」
"..."
He truly didn't know what to say anymore.
Fine then, since it's already come to this, he could only use a more extreme method.
Quick and decisive, ending this mistaken relationship with Siegfried early—that way he could smoothly choose a new personal route.
He looked up at the five red hearts above Siegfried's pixel character, with two of them empty.
Was this the affection stat for himself?
Currently, Siegfried's affection was three hearts.
In that case, there was no other way but to be ruthless toward Siegfried, lower his affection, and then end this mistaken relationship.
「You treated Siegfried coldly, showing quite a harsh attitude toward him.」
「Because of that, he felt extremely heavy-hearted.」
The hearts above Siegfried's pixel character were dropping at a speed visible to the naked eye.
Very good, his affection was plummeting!
When all the hearts above his head dropped to 0, Siegfried's pixel character suddenly collapsed to the ground, never to stand again.
「Siegfried has died.」
"Why did this happen, why does he die the moment affection drops to 0?"
"In fact, that's Siegfried's health bar," Tristan explained.
"???"
So those hearts were imitating Zelda's health bar UI...
These hearts, placed inside a romance game, really were way too misleading.
But that aside, to die over such a small matter, weren't the characters in this game far too fragile? Was your life really worth less than that of a rabbit?
"No! Siegfried-sama!"
From within the game came Kriemhild's anguished cry, her pixel character desperately shaking Siegfried who had sunk into eternal slumber.
"It's over, his wife saw it too!" Eikou broke into a cold sweat.
After confirming Siegfried truly could not rise again, her pixel character quietly stood up.
She drew her sword, right on the spot reenacting Noble Phantasm, holding in her hand the pixel version of Balmung.
Eikou immediately had a very bad premonition.
"You dared to harm my beloved Siegfried-sama..."
She said coldly,
"Vengeance, I shall avenge you! Balmung, carve my hatred upon this one!"
"I really am sorry!!!"
Kriemhild's pixel character charged straight toward the game screen, as if she wanted to attack even the player outside the screen!
"Quack!!"
Eikou was so terrified he threw the game console away,
"Why is it that every time I play this trash game I have to go through calamities like this!!!"