Chapter 56: Eikou's Primal Form
From the hot spring came the sound of cheerful, bell-like laughter from the girls.
They splashed water at each other and leisurely enjoyed the fun of playing in the hot spring.
Meanwhile, behind the rocks, hidden from their view, within the thick veil of steam—
The boys had fallen into the depths of despair.
"..."
Tristan clutched his lower half tightly; the forbidden zone of Camelot had now fallen, yet he stubbornly tried to preserve the dignity of a knight to the very end.
Mochizuki Eikou and Gawain looked at each other, utterly speechless.
For fuck's sake, how did things come to this?
"The mission has failed,"
Gawain said grimly,
"Sir Tristan can no longer retreat. As Knights of the Round Table, we cannot allow him to run naked into the streets. We should speak to the ladies properly and hope for mercy."
"Negotiate, huh…"
Eikou wore a look as if he was deep in thought.
Could they even negotiate at this point?
"Kyaa~"
From beyond the rock came Jeanne's embarrassed cry.
"Marie, honestly… don't just flip people's towels like that…"
"Don't be shy, Jeanne. I just wanted to see if the hair elsewhere is the same color as your golden locks~"
Marie's mischievous, sweet yet devilish laughter rang out.
"..."
Hearing the girls' playful voices, the boys' faces became extremely complicated.
After a long pause, Mochizuki Eikou finally spoke slowly:
"Do you guys still think we can negotiate now? Interrupt those people going full yuri over there, and then say, 'Actually, we've been here the whole time, we just didn't want to disturb you, and we totally didn't see or hear anything, by the way, one of us is so unlucky he doesn't even have a towel, so please don't mind his bare ass'?
"You willing to say that? Because I'm sure as hell not."
"What a horrifying scenario," Tristan muttered.
"Looks like there's no turning back after drawing the bowstring. The only choice now is to find another way to survive." Gawain sighed.
When it came down to it, Tristan had only lost his towel. If it was just about covering himself, there had to be some alternative.
Mochizuki Eikou couldn't help but dart his eyes around, searching for something nearby to cover up with.
Found it!
"Tristan, use this to cover yourself for now!"
Mochizuki Eikou plucked a leaf from the decorative shrub and solemnly handed it to him.
"...Sir Eikou, you've truly underestimated me in every sense."
"How the hell is one leaf supposed to cover Tristan's 'harp'? I've got something better."
Gawain spoke as he picked up a plate of leftovers by the hot spring's edge—what they had ordered earlier while eating boiled eggs. On the plate were eggshells and a few slices of pre-cut cucumber.
"Sir Tristan, stick these cucumber slices down there to cover up. If anyone asks, just say you're using cucumbers for skincare."
"You're amazing, Gawain," Eikou said, bowing in genuine respect, "Cucumbers hydrate and improve skin, and applying them topically is a common practice. I never thought you'd come up with such an ingenious excuse using basic knowledge."
Tristan thought to himself—how the hell is this ingenious?! Who the hell sticks cucumbers on that area?! Only a pervert would do that.
Compared to that, running out naked would be less humiliating! Using cucumbers would be even more degrading!
Seeing Tristan still hesitating and refusing to come out, Eikou let out a long sigh.
"Alright then, I've got another great idea. Gawain, can you summon your Excalibur Galatine? We'll just perform gender reassignment surgery on him right here. Tristan's pretty famous anyway, so it's about time he had a female version."
"That's impossible," Gawain rejected seriously. "That sword is the twin blade Our King bestowed upon me, the pure sunlight that burns away all filth. My holy sword must never touch something so unclean."
"Damn it, then we're out of options…"
"..."
Tristan didn't even bother to argue anymore.
The three of them lifted their heads and sighed, gazing through the dense mist at the full moon on the horizon.
Melancholy, confusion, and a total lack of answers.
"…You guys go. Don't worry about me anymore."
Finally, Tristan spoke:
"If we drag this out any longer, the girls will definitely notice something's off over here. When that happens, all of us will get caught."
He opened his golden eyes—no trace of hope left in them, only resignation to death, and the solemn tone of a tragic ballad.
"But as long as you all escape, it's enough for me to sacrifice alone…!"
"You idiot, how could we abandon you like that?" Eikou said, voice trembling with emotion. "If cucumbers are too embarrassing for you, I still have this leaf. Just say you're cosplaying a caveman…"
"I'm serious! Go! Your plans are getting more and more humiliating!"
"But… are we really going to leave you here to die…?"
Eikou collapsed onto the edge of the hot spring in despair, utterly out of options.
Was he really going to sit there and watch Tristan march toward death?
Leave him behind to be discovered, torn to pieces by furious girls, and ultimately end up ruined, branded for life as some pervert who likes to peep?!
That would be far too cruel!
"Damn it, it's all my fault… because I don't have the strength to protect my friends! That's why we've fallen this far!"
Eikou slammed his fist hard into the ground in rage.
"Where is Alaya when you need her?! Please, save my friend! As long as I can protect his dignity, I'm willing to sign any contract with you! I want to create a world with Emiya-senpai where no one ever sheds tears again!"
Beside him, Gawain couldn't hold back and muttered, "Honestly, if someone saw this scene, their tears would probably turn into laughter and kill their reputation instead."
"Go… I'm begging you. At least let me have a moment of peace at the end of my life…"
Tristan spoke in complete despair, fingers gently plucking an imaginary harp.
"My epithet is Child of Sadness, but meeting you two was the happiest thing in my life. Farewell, Sir Gawain, Sir Eikou. Knowing you was the greatest blessing of my life."
Sigh…
Eikou's mind began flashing through memories of Tristan like a high-speed film reel.
Now that he thought about it, he really had dragged Tristan into a lot of messes—like that time during the Queen Game, forcing him to stay half-naked through the entire party… or during the haunted house and outdoor class, when he literally used him as a weapon. It was incredible that Tristan never held a grudge, still treating him as a good friend.
Only remembering kindness, never remembering grudges—that was the spirit of a Knight of the Round Table.
Eikou let out a deep breath.
If that was the case, then there was nothing left to hesitate about.
He owed Tristan so much. It was time to pay it back.
Eikou clenched his teeth, summoned all his courage, and tore the towel from around his waist.
He tossed the towel to Tristan.
"?"
Tristan froze completely.
He looked up and saw Eikou had resolutely stripped off the last piece of armor he had.
He had returned to the primordial state of life—the form of a caveman.
The moonlight shone down, stretching Eikou's shadow long across the ground. His presence at that moment was no different from Wise King Gilgamesh, who still stood tall before the city gates, even as the Absolute Demonic Front fell and the royal city of Uruk crumbled!
"Tristan, take this towel and put it on. Retreat immediately. Leave the rest to me." Eikou said firmly.
"…And what about you? What are you going to do? You don't have a single thread left on you!"
"I—"
Eikou's eyes sharpened like blades.
"I'll charge straight through the main gate!"
The Caveman—engage!