Chapter 43: Wilderness Survival
"Gawain, why the hell did all our ingredients and snacks turn into potatoes?! Where's my pork belly? Where are my lamb skewers?!"
Mochizuki Eikou held the suitcase full of potatoes and called Gawain over, sounding like he was interrogating a suspect.
"You better give me a reasonable explanation right now, or I'm heading to the Greece class to get Euryale and Orion (Artemis) — let those two 'special attack male' Archer take turns 'dealing' with you."
"Sir Eikou, please hear me out… You've had a cold lately, right? You can't keep eating greasy food and junk, so I swapped all the harmful ingredients for something healthier — mashed potatoes."
As he spoke, Gawain even held out a plate of mashed potatoes he had already prepared.
"What you made is clearly a hundred times more harmful!"
"No need to be polite. If one plate isn't enough, I can make more." Gawain beamed.
"I can't even swallow the first damn bite!"
This was truly the worst-case scenario — both the boys' and girls' groups had lost all ingredients. All that remained were a pile of potatoes and a puddle of "X-substance" that used to be potatoes.
"Tristan, tell me — that thing hanging between Gawain's legs, can we call it a sausage? Can I bring that back and submit it in place of ingredients?"
"Calm down, Sir Eikou, spare him," Tristan replied in a tone like he was playing a sorrowful lute. "Sir Gawain sometimes lacks basic common sense. He probably thought Our King and everyone else actually liked the mashed potatoes he made."
"Never thought I'd live to hear Tristan calling someone else out for lacking common sense…"
Looking at the case full of potatoes, Mochizuki Eikou didn't know what to do anymore.
He didn't doubt Barghest's cooking skills — even with just potatoes, she could make something delicious. But if they had to eat only potatoes for the next two days and one night, even the British couldn't put up with that!
No choice. Time to ask the homeroom teacher for help.
...
Homeroom Teacher Finn was standing on the most visible hilltop, arms spread wide to embrace the natural air.
Although he probably thought the scene looked cool, all Mochizuki Eikou could picture was the monkey from The Lion King holding up the lion cub to the sky.
"Ah, this breeze brushing against my face is as soft and smooth as a maiden's skin. It reminds me of the Irish countryside," Homeroom Teacher Finn mused, still not turning his head. "Eikun-kun, did you need something from me?"
"Finn-sensei, it looks like our cooking ingredients were stolen. Could you help us figure something out?"
"What? Something like this happened? Who would dare to commit such an immoral act right under my nose? Stealing from my students is the same as stealing from the Guardian of Erin, leader of the Fianna knights, the one who defeated Nuada!"
"Sensei, you don't need to list all your titles like that."
"In any case, Eikou-kun, I'll definitely get to the bottom of this for you," Homeroom Teacher Finn said firmly.
"But what if you don't? Our two groups are about to starve."
Homeroom Teacher Finn snapped his fingers gracefully.
"Eikou-kun, do you know the true meaning of the outdoor class?"
"Not studying, going on a trip."
"That's… one way to put it. But in truth, what the school wants to teach you is how to harmonize with nature and survive in the harsh environment beyond the city. Losing your ingredients may seem like a disadvantage at first, but it's actually an opportunity to put the core of the outdoor class into practice."
"You mean…"
"To use your own two hands to find food in the savage wild! Nature is an endless treasure trove!"
Homeroom Teacher Finn declared righteously.
"Why does our outdoor class have to be so hardcore? This is literally wilderness survival. Don't go overboard. How about this, sensei: I'll give you 5 QP and a crate of potatoes, plus a British chef who's great at making mashed potatoes, in exchange for 10 kilos of Australian lobster?"
"Don't forget the purpose of this trip, Eikou-kun."
"But we don't even know how to hunt," Eikou protested.
"At the very least, you can fish. When I was young, I used to fish alone by the riverbank, with a hook completely bare, no bait — they even wrote poems about it later, hahaha."
"That's obviously Taigong Wang's story! Stop fabricating your backstory just to make yourself look like a ★5 character!"
[You decided to follow Homeroom Teacher Finn's suggestion and organized everyone to head into the mountains to search for food.]
[You gathered both groups together and prepared fishing rods, gloves, shovels, water buckets… At first, everyone was sluggish, but thanks to your excellent persuasion skills, you managed to ignite their motivation.]
"Guys, if you don't want to eat Gawain's mashed potatoes anymore, then let's go all out and find some food!"
Eikou wore a straw hat, one hand holding a fishing rod, the other a water bucket — he looked just like a professional fisherman.
"Let's do this!!!"
Everyone shouted excitedly.
"Could you be a little more tactful? That kind of talk hits a chef's pride hard," Gawain complained.
"You should be thankful we haven't cut off your 'sausage' and roasted it yet."
Eikou shot back with biting sarcasm, then continued seriously, "Alright, let's split up — boys into the hunting team, girls into the fishing team. Any objections?"
"Why do you always get to be the one giving orders?" Baobhan Sith raised her chin, her voice full of arrogance.
"Oh? Are you saying you want to join us boys? You really want to go hunt and forage?"
"No way! What I mean is…"
Baobhan Sith pointed straight at him:
"You — Mochizuki Eikou — have to stay in the girls' group."
Eikou was taken aback. "You want to be with me?"
"Idiot, did you forget our cooperation agreement? I have to stay close and keep an eye on you. And there's no way I'm running around that filthy forest getting covered in mud. I'm wearing high heels today."
Who the hell wears high heels to an outdoor trip?! Just how obsessed is she with heels that she insists on maintaining her image even now?!
"I agree," Gawain nodded. "Sir Eikou, you should go fishing with the girls."
"It's not like I can't, but it just feels like I lost if I listen to her…"
Just then, Gawain suddenly leaned in close to Eikou and lowered his voice: "It's unlikely, but maybe Baobhan Sith is actually worried about your health. You've caught a cold, right? It's not a good idea to go hunting with us. Fishing is more gentle."
"…Naruhodo."
He's said that much already, might as well just go along with it.
It's just… is Baobhan Sith really that soft-hearted?
He glanced at the red-haired girl. She had turned her face away, clearly not wanting to talk to him any further.
"Then it's decided."
Eikou nodded.