Chapter 41: Just blame it all on Merlin!
Eikou quietly filed a report against Tristan.
Better to have someone like him disappear, save the Round Table's reputation while there's still time.
But Tristan continued bouncing around the chatbox, spouting off endless statements about married women like this forum was some lawless wasteland.
Where the hell is the knightly image of the Round Table anymore? Isn't there anyone who can manage this guy?
The trouble is, everyone's anonymous. And in this anonymous forum, everyone silently obeys the unspoken rules—so revealing someone's real identity is out of the question.
Right at that moment, a new member suddenly joined the discussion group.
Devoting My Life to Camelot: "Sir Tristan, this discussion group is a place for everyone to build a shared atmosphere. You can't just talk about your personal preferences—you also need to listen to others. Your current behavior is truly disappointing: monopolizing the post, gossiping behind backs, completely lacking the demeanor a Knight of the Round Table should have."
…Oh my god, that ID! That avatar!
It was clearly Artoria Pendragon (Lancer)! The Lion King herself had joined the chat?!
Seriously though, she's not even a student, and yet she's wandering into the student anonymous board to browse forums? She's got that much free time? At the very least, couldn't she have used an alias or something? Why do all the Round Table Servants just waltz in openly like this?
Time passed for a while, and Tristan remained completely silent.
He seemed to be frozen in shock.
After a moment, Tristan finally sent a message.
Tristan: "I'm sorry, everyone! I'm truly, deeply sorry!!!"
"Tristan (avatar is the real deal, married women can DM) has left the group"
Justice has been served!
"Ahahahahahaha!" ×2
Eikou and Baobhan Sith couldn't hold it in any longer, bursting into laughter, nearly falling over.
Running into your superior in an anonymous board, and getting your fetish for other men's wives exposed in front of her—this level of social death, there's really nothing more to say...
But putting that aside, finally, there was someone in the group that Eikou didn't know in real life.
He needed to find a way to get closer to the Lion King and, in the process, test his hypothesis—learning Servant skills through online chat.
Devoting My Life to Camelot: "Sorry for causing a scene. Sir Tristan from our club tends to act on impulse and can be a bit impolite, but he means no harm. I hope you all can forgive him."
"It's no problem," Eikou typed back. "More importantly, your avatar is beautiful—exuding dignity, nobility, and divine grace."
"Haha, I think so too."
She thinks so too?
As expected of the grown-up King of Knights, that confidence really is bold and refreshing—just casually agreeing that she's beautiful.
Perhaps this is the calm composure unique to adults.
Devoting My Life to Camelot: "Student with the slightly odd nickname, it seems you have a good eye for aesthetics. Would you like to chat a bit more? This forum is really quite enjoyable. Even though we can't see each other, that makes it easier to open up. Let's have a relaxed conversation."
What the—?! The Lion King on the other end is inviting him to chat directly now? Things are progressing this smoothly?! Winning her favor this fast?!
"Sure, absolutely."
He thought carefully for a moment and chose a safe topic: "Do you like anything in particular?"
See, not just Artoria—there are many different versions of the Lion King.
When it comes to preferences, each Spirit Origin has different answers. If it's the white Lion King, she'd reply "nothing in particular"; if it's the black one, she'd say "snacks"; and the bunny swimsuit version prefers playing poker.
Eikou could use her answer to determine which Spirit Origin form she was using—thus knowing which version of the Lion King he was talking to.
That way, he could tailor the atmosphere of their conversation more precisely to suit her personality and preferences.
Perfect Keikaku!
Devoting My Life to Camelot: "I like cooking."
Huh?
Is there any version of the Lion King who likes cooking?
No, that's not right. In Chaldea, there isn't a single Artoria who can cook—not one. All she does is eat!
"You... specifically, what do you like to cook?"
"Mashed potatoes."
What the hell, you're not Artoria! You're Gawain, aren't you, you bastard, borrowing your superior's name just to surf the web!
Turns out this group chat is full of people he already knows, the purity level is insanely high!
"You're not Artoria at all, deceiving others isn't good, you know!"
Gawain: "I never said I was her."
Eikou: "Then why are you using Lion King as your avatar?"
Gawain: "It's anonymous. Isn't this forum supposed to protect privacy? That way, no one will suspect my real-life identity."
Who the hell uses someone else's face as an anonymous avatar? What if Our King's privacy is exposed?
Gawain: "The most important thing is, Our King's portrait is truly beautiful. If I use her divine image as my avatar, I believe if she knew, she would definitely praise my loyalty."
Eikou thought to himself: If Artoria really found out, you'd be dead meat. Don't just change your avatar, change your whole damn head while you're at it.
"Listen, it might look like you're paying tribute to Artoria, but you're just making things more troublesome for her. Using her image as your avatar is basically leaking personal info — and objectively, you're impersonating Artoria."
The other side went silent for a moment.
Gawain: "...So that's how it is. Thanks for the reminder, I'll change my avatar immediately. I don't go on forums often, so I wasn't aware of this kind of rule. Turns out that behavior is very impolite, I won't do it again."
"It's fine, I know you didn't mean to."
Eikou understood the situation well.
After all, Gawain was a righteous and upright knight — hard to imagine he'd have any ill intent or be scheming in the dark. A true kind-hearted netizen, so it's understandable he didn't realize it.
A while later, Gawain spoke up again.
Holy shit, this guy actually changed both his avatar and nickname to Merlin! Now he's clearly doing it on purpose, nothing more to say!
Take back what I said earlier—this guy is truly shameless! Impersonating Merlin just to stir shit again?!
"This avatar is...?"
Gawain: "That's me."
"Whatever you say..."
Baobhan Sith: "You lunatic, you already said you like mashed potatoes, what's the point in hiding your identity anymore?"
Gawain: "You want to eat my mashed potatoes?"
Barghest: "Hold on, I think my problem is more urgent. Specifically, how should I interact with him properly?"
Eikou didn't even dare to look anymore. In this huge-ass group chat, there wasn't a single normal person to be found.
Guess it was up to him to end this godawful social media topic.
He quietly created a new account, used a selfie of Morgan she sends him every night as his avatar, then joined the group chat.
Using Morgan's picture as the avatar, Eikou calmly typed:
"All of you, shut the hell up!"
Immediately, the group chat fell silent.
No one dared to say another word. Everyone became obedient like puppies.
In the end, only Mommy truly holds the power.
[The silence in the group chat lasted until the bus arrived.]