Chapter 32: Cafeteria Chaos
"Can you blame me? I did my part! I warned her I'd be useless after using my Quirk, but she still kicked me while I was out to vent her frustration! If it wasn't for the replay, I wouldn't even have known!"
Denki Kaminari fumed for a moment before bouncing back, grinning excitedly. "But I didn't expect Yaoyorozu to use that tactic—sealing the wall and scouting with drones. It's straight out of a video game!"
"Maybe Yaoyorozu's a gaming pro, or Mineta tipped her off. Or she came up with it herself… Anyway, it's your turn," Yoshikage Kira said.
"Oh, Sensei, I'll take a jumbo burger!" Kaminari called to the Cooking Hero with a cheeky grin, making an outrageous request.
…
"Why not just go to a fast-food joint if you want a burger?" Kira said, eating his balanced meal of fresh veggies and a small chicken drumstick, giving Kaminari a disdainful look. "You're gonna make people think you're picking a fight."
"I just love burgers, alright?" Kaminari took a big bite, chugged his cola, and slammed it down, mumbling through his food. "I'm sick of the fancy chef meals at home. Here at U.A., I wanna eat what I like!"
Is this guy a rich kid or something?
Kira glanced at his own so-called "balanced" meal—barely some veggies and a tiny drumstick, the cheapest option in the cafeteria—and sighed. If he wasn't saving up for those hand figures, would he really need to skimp like this? Still, he shoved another bite into his mouth.
The Cooking Hero's food was just too good, preserving every ingredient's flavor perfectly. Kira half-wondered if Lunch Rush secretly wielded the legendary eight cooking utensils.
Ring, ring, ring…
As Kira and Kaminari chatted idly, a sharp alarm blared. A cold, electronic voice echoed from U.A.'s announcement speakers.
"Security Defense Level 3 has been breached. All students, evacuate to the outdoor area immediately."
"It's an alarm! Let's go!"
Around them, students dropped their chopsticks and scrambled toward the outdoor exit.
Kaminari, stuffing the last bit of his burger into his mouth, choked in surprise, food lodging in his throat. He pounded his chest with one hand, reaching for his cola with the other, only to find it empty. He looked at Kira desperately.
Kira, exasperated, slid his untouched cup of water over.
"Phew! What happened? Everyone just bolted!" Kaminari gulped the water, narrowly escaping death by choking, and glanced around. "What was that alarm about?"
Kira stood, placed his tray on the nearby return station, and returned. "You didn't read the school's rulebook, did you? It explains emergencies like this."
"That thing's like an old lady's foot-binding cloth—long, boring, and full of nonsense. Who reads that?"
Kira, who'd read the entire rulebook, actually agreed. "You're not wrong. This kind of thing is rare. You might not see it even once in three years—an enemy breach."
"Yeah, exactly… Wait, what did you just say!?" Kaminari, smug from Kira's agreement, paled at the second part. "E-Enemy breach!?"
"So hurry up, unless you want to be spotted and taken hostage," Kira said, patting his shoulder and heading for the exit.
"Hey, don't leave me!" Kaminari scrambled after him, stopping short behind Kira at the cafeteria door. He peeked out, jaw dropping. "U.A. students move too fast! It's a total jam here!"
The hallway, usually wide enough for seven or eight people side by side, was packed tighter than a rush-hour train. Students were crammed in, the ones up front squished against the door, unable to open it from the inside.
Kira surveyed the scene, expressionless. "If an enemy showed up now, they could take us all out in one go. That's why I hate people who don't follow traffic rules."
"Kira, I get why you're so big on order now," Kaminari said, swallowing hard. "In this mess, no matter how strong your Quirk is, you can't use it."
All they could do was hope the enemy didn't reach them. Kira returned to the cafeteria, peering through the glass windows to check outside.
Reporters?
Kira easily spotted a crowd wielding cameras and microphones. Their clumsy movements marked them as the same reporters from that morning, led by the woman with the beautiful hands. She was questioning Present Mic and Aizawa, who stood blocking their path.
Normally, outsiders couldn't breach the front gate's defenses, let alone cause this chaos… unless someone inside helped them open it.
Maybe the reporters bribed a staff member, or… could real enemies have let them in as a distraction?
Kira chuckled at the thought. This was U.A., home to the world's strongest hero, All Might. Who'd be dumb enough to attack here?
Since it wasn't a real threat, Kira strolled back to the hallway, ready to tell the panicking Kaminari it was just reporters, no danger—
Suddenly, Tenya Iida floated up in the crowd. His tall frame was already noticeable, but now he drew every eye. Activating his Engine Quirk, exhaust pipes on his calves roared. With a gymnast's grace, he spun—360×n degrees—in a wild aerial spiral!
Using his Quirk's thrust, Iida shifted his position mid-air, propelling himself forward. He landed on the door's crossbar at the end of the hallway.
The crowd fell silent.
Seizing the moment, Iida struck a bizarre, Egyptian-style pose atop the door, one hand on his head's pipes, struggling to hold it. "Classmates, it's fine! Just the media, no need to panic!" he shouted. "This is U.A.! Act like students of the top hero academy!"
He saw it too, huh… Kira grabbed the back of Kaminari's neck, who was gawking excitedly, and pulled him out of the hallway, clearing the way for others.
…
Later, the police arrived, politely escorting the reporters out. The commotion ended with Iida's JoJo-style pose as its grand finale.
After the incident, for reasons unknown, Izuku Midoriya stepped down as vice-president.
Thus, Tenya Iida was proudly appointed vice-president.