The journey to 'his place' was one filled with fear, anxiety, and a bit of excitement. The excitement came from the fact that I had been 'dying' to get to know more about him, and now he was finally taking me to his place. The fear and anxiety however, came from the fact that I had not even the faintest idea why we were headed to his place.
About an hour ago, he wasn't in speaking terms with me. I had no idea why. And all of a sudden now he claims to be taking me to his place.
"Why are we going over to your place?" I asked in the calmest way I could.
"Why do you think?" He countered immediately, making it seem like he was expecting that exact question and had already decided that he was going to give that exact response.
"I have no idea why. So you tell me." I tried to counter too.
"I want to fuck you." Josh said without looking at my face. He focused on the wheels, and casually made that response without making it sound like what he had just said was a big deal.
My throat immediately went dry. "Why did he think I was interested in having sex with him? Have I been unknowingly giving him the kind of looks that suggested I wanted him? Is this how guys casually ask for sex from other girls, without actually asking for the sex?"
Different thoughts and questions started to run through my mind. My heart started to pound faster, and probably louder.
The problem wasn't that I didn't want to have sex with Josh. In fact, every night I would imagine he fucked me recklessly while I masturbate to the thoughts of it. But all that was in my imagination. The problem was that I had never been in bed with any guy. I have never even been kissed.
"What if he finds out I'm a virgin and he immediately becomes un-attracted to me?" This questions kept ringing in my head. I was beginning to panic, and it was probably starting to show on my face.
"You would like me to fuck you, wouldn't you?" Josh said, making me startled. This time, his eyes were fixated on me. He still wore his evil smile, and rather than feel scared or worried, it made my insides tingle in an unexplainable way.
"You would like that, right?" He said again, this time making his smile widen even more, and therefore revealing his shiny perfect set of teeth.
I licked my lips, and then gulped.
"I don't….know." Was all I was able to mutter.
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"Why are we here, Josh?" I asked again after getting to Josh's place. We arrived here and sat in his sitting room staring silently at each other for ten minutes. A part of me felt disappointed that he wasn't doing anything. It didn't feel right that he brought me here against my will, but still I expected he would have the balls to make the first move instead of staring at me without saying a word.
"I already told you. I want to fuck you." He replied with the same tone he used when we were in the car earlier.
Even though I was a shy and socially awkward person, something about the way he kept saying he wanted to fuck me made me unable to argue with him.
"So fuck me." I didn't know when I blurted.
As soon as I said that, his facial expression changed. It was like he was literally waiting for some consent of some sort from me. He immediately stood up from where he was seated, lifted me from the couch I sat, and carried me all the way to his room.
Getting to his room, he flung me on his bed like I weighed nothing. I could see that he wanted to be with me. I could tell the little sentence of me telling him to fuck me had made him horny. The hunger couldn't be hidden in his eyes.
Without saying any words, Josh took off his shirt and threw it to a corner of his room. He took off his belt, folded it like he was about to use it to whip me, smiled at me, and then threw the belt in the same direction he had thrown his shirt.
"Take off your blouse." He commanded with a smile.
"Or do you like them on while fucking?" He asked as he saw that I didn't do as he said.
I couldn't say a word nor could I move a muscle. I just lay there on the bed staring at him naively.
Without asking any further questions, he jumped on the bed and came at me with his lips hungrily. I sucked on my lips as if he meant to devour it, as his hands went all over my body. He touched me everywhere in the space of a minute, making it seem like he was looking for something on me.
His hands crazily went over all parts of my body but dinner came to a halt on my boobs. He massaged my boobs through my cloth, and his manly but soft hands made my body shiver even through clothing. I could feel his heavy breathing on my body, and it made me start to drip wet.
I wanted to tell him to go on. I wanted to tell him to make me feel like a woman. The whole foreplay was starting to get to me. I couldn't hold back how much I wanted him inside of me. Josh's right hand had started to reach underneath my skirt. His left hand was still firmly grabbing my boobs.
"Take off your blouse." Josh said again, this time with a soft and unfamiliar voice. He said so while still sucking on my lips hungrily.
"I can't Josh. I'm still a virgin." I heard myself tell him unwillingly.
He stopped. His facial expression changed. The hunger in his face had suddenly disappeared. There was more of disappointment written on his face.
"What did you say?" He asked with a hoarse voice.