I didn't think the silence would last this long.
I thought i would stop crying after a week. Two, maybe.
But some days, I'd catch myself staring at the empty spot on my bed.
Some nights, I'd still dream about the way his hand lingered on my back before pulling me into a hug.
How quiet he became when i told him it was all just a game.
How he didn't say a word and walked away wet lashes, clenched jaw.
And now, here i am. Weeks… months… maybe even a year later, sitting on the edge of my condo sofa, watching him on a glowing screen like a stranger.
Sebastian Blair Gutierrez.
Global idol. K-pop royalty.
The man whose voice could shatter arenas and make millions scream.
And now… the man who looked so distant, so painfully different. Cold.
He wasn't the Sebastian i knew or maybe that's what he wanted to become, unreachable.
Untouchable.
Just another silhouette onstage.
I used to know his warmth like second nature.
Now, i only knew his cold.
And maybe that's what finally pushed me.
I turned off the TV.
The silence didn't feel as heavy anymore.
There was still grief, I don't think it ever really leaves, but the weight shifted into something else.
Something sharper.
Stronger.
Resolve.
I stood from the couch, wiping my tears, and reached for my phone.
There were missed calls from old managers, producers, and networks.
They'd been waiting.
So i called back.
It was surreal being on set again.
The lights, the script, the repetition, it was all muscle memory.
But the emotions? That was new or maybe… realer than ever.
Because this time, I wasn't just acting.
I was bleeding.
The movie was called "Together, We Fight Back." A gritty, painful, post-war drama about a woman betrayed by the man she trusted most and how she rose back, not to be who she was before, but someone stronger, scarred, and proud of it.
I didn't even have to dig deep for the role. I just had to remember.
I remembered how it felt to love someone so completely, you'd cross oceans just to see them smile and i remembered what it was like to lose them, slowly, cruelly.
I remembered lying to protect him, and the way it broke me instead.
And somehow, all those buried feelings translated to screen.
The movie broke records—₱900 million at the box office.
People said it was my best work.
Critics claimed i had finally matured as an actress.
That i had shed the "heiress-turned-drama-queen" persona and emerged as a powerhouse.
But they didn't know.
They didn't know that my tears weren't rehearsed.
They were real.
And then the invitation came.
The Asia Artist Awards, held in the Philippines for the first time.
A gathering of Asia's brightest stars.
I didn't expect to be nominated.
I certainly didn't expect to win.
But when they called my name for Best Actress in Asia, the world around me blurred.
I heard claps.
I heard my name being screamed from the balconies.
I even saw Dustin beside me, smiling proudly as he guided me up the steps.
But my eyes searched for someone else.
And then i saw him.
Sebastian.
He was seated a few rows from the front. Hair slicked back, wearing a classic black suit. He looked taller, colder… but heartbreakingly beautiful.
I didn't know he'd be here.
I didn't know he'd even care.
But the moment our eyes met, I forgot how to breathe.
He didn't flinch.
He didn't even blink.
He just looked at me.
No smile.
No warmth.
Just eyes that saw right through me.
-
I stepped up to the stage.
The award was placed in my hand, heavy and cold.
But not as heavy as the words in my chest.
"Thank you," I began. My voice shook slightly. "This means more than i can ever explain."
People clapped.
"I didn't think i'd be standing here again. I thought my story ended a long time ago. But i guess… some endings are just new beginnings in disguise."
I caught a glimpse of him again.
Still unreadable.
Still watching.
I wanted to say something more.
Something just for him.
But i didn't. I couldn't.
Instead, I bowed.
I smiled.
I left the stage.
And when i looked back at his seat, he was already gone.
-
Later that night, I sat alone in my hotel room, still wearing the gown I hadn't bothered to change out of.
The trophy sat untouched on the desk beside the bed. It didn't feel like a win.
Not when all i could think of was how his eyes used to light up when he looked at me.
And now, they were just… dark.
They say you never really forget your first love.
I don't know if that's true.
But i do know this:
Some memories don't fade.
They just… wait.
Wait for the next time your paths cross.
Wait for the moment your name is whispered in a crowd and you turn, just in case they're still there.
Waiting too.