Jeong Taeui smiled and responded - "Hmm, is that so."
Of course, he had never considered himself a person full of humanity. But he didn't expect to hear such words. Contrary to everyone's prejudices about a genius, he himself knew well that Jeong Jaeui was a person full of 'humanity.'
"Have I done something wrong to you that I don't know about? Or has my brother helped you with many things? If you don't understand, this could easily be taken as an insult."
"I didn't mean it that way. For example... Right. It's because Jeong Jaeui probably has more worries and suffering than you, perhaps? That's what humanity is."
Jeong Taeui was speechless for the second time.
The words that this man uttered without thinking today had left him surprised again and again.
Worries and suffering. Perhaps so. But unless you could see inside his brother's mind, how could you know what he was thinking? Since it's impossible to measure personal emotions with absolute figures, it's hard to compare who worries more or less.
"But objectively speaking, he is so lucky that he doesn't even know what anxiety or worry is. He's the one who said he wanted to try his luck and left on his own."
Jeong Taeui shook his head and muttered. Ilay was probably watching him silently. A gentle laugh came from the other side of the screen.
"Indeed, Jeong Jaeil is very lucky. I completely agree. But have you ever thought about the mystery behind that luck?"
The smile disappeared from Jeong Taeui's face.
Previously, he had thought this man was trying to hint at something in his words, but he didn't know what. Now he might vaguely understand the hidden meaning behind those words.
This man knew something that Jeong Taeui had never thought of and didn't need to think
about.
"He's my brother, but it seems you understand him better than I do."
It seemed Ilay immediately sensed the bitterness in Jeong Taeui's words. The man waved his hand and responded with a confused 'Oh.'
"This is awkward. I didn't mean to hurt you by saying these things. Shall we stop talking
about this?"
Ilay ended the conversation in a gentle tone. Jeong Taeui stared at the pale hand and sighed. Anyway, this wasn't a topic he wanted to delve into.
"Now you seem much calmer. Your flushed face has returned to normal."
Jeong Taeui was rubbing his forehead with his thumb when he heard those words. He turned to look in the mirror. As Ilay had said, his once-red face had returned to normal.
Ilay's suggestive voice reached Jeong Tacui's cars as he rubbed his face.
"But if you've been stuck on that island and fallen for someone, that person is probably not a woman, right?"
Ilay spoke with a strange tone. Jeong Tacui responded with confusion.
"No way. Since high school, I haven't held a girl's hand except for a handshake."
"Ah ha. So your issue with sexual morality includes that part, right?"
Ilay spoke as if he understood Jeong Taeui's initial problem. Jeong Taeui had no intention of hiding his orientation and just shrugged his shoulders in response.
"Yes. So does that bother you?"
"Bother me? Why should I be bothered by someone else's preferences?"
Ilay laughed. Those words felt like drawing a boundary. No matter how close they talked,
they were still different people. Even emotionally.
At that moment, Jeong Taeui realized.
Even though this man talked comfortably with him, there was no intimacy or affection. Nor was there any discomfort. It was just like dealing with a completely unfamiliar person.
Though it was obvious, Jeong Tacui felt a bit vaguely surprised. He only realized it now, but he felt quite close to this man. They had only talked on the phone a few times, yet Jeong Taeui felt very close. Just like most people feel close to someone they've talked to a few times.
But this man was different from everyone else; it didn't affect his feelings at all. Time and intimacy were not proportional. In retrospect, there had been many opportunities to realize this, but Jeong Taeui hadn't noticed. Perhaps even if they talked hundreds of times in the future, this man's feelings toward him wouldn't change, unlike others.
Regardless of whether he was born cold-hearted, it seemed that the way emotions developed was not like normal people.
So if it was about 'humanity,' this guy wasn't enough to compare or judge anyone....
Words rose to his throat, but Jeong Taeui swallowed them. He didn't intend to argue because he felt it was too arrogant to say such things to someone who had drawn a clear boundary with others.
"It's a shame, but I quite like you."
"Ah ha. I also like things that go against sexual morality."
"....No, I didn't mean it that way..."
Jeong Tacui mumbled, waving his hand. Of course, Ilay understood that, and he just smiled softly.
A mechanical sound faintly echoed from the other end of the phone. Regular beeps like an alarm clock or phone.
It seemed Ilay glanced somewhere and sighed, tapping his finger lightly on the table.
"Taking a break for a moment and then calling right away. I have to go."
"Alright, see you next time if we get the chance."
"Mm-Oh. Come to think of it, the joint training of the Asian and European branches is coming up soon, right?"
"Yes, you know quite well."
A used book dealer or an arms dealer. Thinking about it, it was odd that he knew such information.
But then, the joint training schedule wasn't a secret, and he seemed to have a close
relationship with his uncle, so it made sense.
"Just entering the branch and having to participate in joint training must be tough. Good luck. Don't die."
"Wishing me luck with those words doesn't sound lucky at all, but thanks anyway."
Jeong Tacui laughed and muttered. Ilay seemed to chuckle lightly as well. And just like that, the call was disconnected.
************************
It was a mixed Friday night.
On Friday evening, after the official schedule ended, they conducted the drawing as planned. Who would stay at the Asian branch and who would go to other branches. As known, those who came to the Asian branch for this joint training were from the European branch, and those who left would go to the South American branch.
Jeong Taeui thought it didn't matter whether he stayed or left. But seeing his colleagues
trembling and showing clear rejection towards the European branch, he wanted to stay and see. However, for his safety, it was better to join the group leaving and head to the South American branch.
Moreover, every time he closed his eyes or even when they were open the image of that
man appeared vividly.
The image of a neatly dressed man extending his hand with black gloves, gripping the opponent's throat, leaving dark red marks.
If he had to face someone like that....
Just imagining it made Jeong Taeui shudder. He had to think about his own life first.
Jeong Taeui thought as he picked a random number from the box. Number 62. Then the
remaining members also drew numbered balls from 1 to 96. The instructor stepped forward and drew a ball from another box. The ball had the number 2. So even numbers would stay.
Jeong Taeui rotated the number 62 ball in his hand with a bitter face. The fate of staying or leaving was decided so simply. Even numbers would stay at the branch, and odd numbers would head to the airport early the next morning, Saturday.
After the drawing ended and they dispersed, a lively atmosphere filled the members.
Jeong Taeui clicked his tongue as he left the large hall with other colleagues, their faces full of deep thoughts. Though he couldn't change it, he still wanted to go to the South American branch for the safety of his life.
Perhaps not only Jeong Taeui, but most people here thought the same. However, they didn't seem too happy about going to the South American branch.
Regardless of where they went, in three days, they would all undergo a hellish 15-day struggle.
Jeong Taeui was slowly walking behind the noisy colleagues, but he didn't want to go down like that, so he changed direction and headed towards the stairs.
Even after entering the room and closing the door, he could still hear the noisy chatter of his colleagues in the hallway below. With his current mood, Jeong Taeui just wanted to be in a quiet place.
His uncle's room was the best choice. His uncle's floor was almost unoccupied, and his uncle had been very busy these days, so he hadn't been around.
Jeong Taeui didn't take off his coat and lay down on the bed, burying his face in the blanket. His whole body felt heavy. Lying face down like this made him sleepy. Recently, the training programs had been intense during official training hours, but even during breaks, his colleagues constantly bothered him, making him extremely tired.
"Right before the official joint training starts, making everyone more tired... I'll die of
exhaustion first."
Jeong Taeui sighed and talked to himself, then took a book from the shelf. Every day he came here, he read a few dozen pages before returning. Actually, it was a very interesting book, and he could finish it quickly if he focused, but his body felt like soaked cotton, making it difficult.
Jeong Taeui took the book back to the bed and glanced at the phone.
The phone remained silent and showed no signs of ringing.
When in someone else's room, it was better not to answer the phone, but calls from the man with the beautiful white hand were quite interesting. Although not only fun.
Jeong Taeui flipped through the pages he had read. In the middle of the book, he saw his uncle's notes in the margins. It was his uncle's habit to write his thoughts in the book's margins while reading. Reading those notes, Jeong Tacui could understand what his uncle was thinking when reading the book, which was a small joy.
Before coming here, he didn't often see his uncle. Both Jeong Tacui and his brother, and his uncle, had different personalities, so they didn't see each other often. Even if they only met once or twice a year, they didn't feel awkward or distant. Even if they met after several years, it felt no different from yesterday.
However, each time his uncle came home, he usually spent time with Jeong Taeui's father. After his father passed away, his uncle often talked to his brother, so he didn't talk much with his uncle.
Thinking back, his uncle was a remarkable figure in the family. For someone born and raised in a family to become an officer at UNHRDO was not easy.
"What I desire to achieve in the end is no different from what people hundreds of years ago wished for, and maybe it will be the same hundreds of years later. Is that why humans remain human?"
Jeong Taeui traced his uncle's handwriting at the bottom of the page with his fingertip.
When he first opened this book, there was a faint smell of dust. His uncle probably read this book a long time ago. So these words were also a fragment of his uncle's thoughts from a long time ago, at least younger than now.
Searching for someone else's buried thoughts had its own interest.
After all, what did his uncle desire? Jeong Taeui seemed to know but also not know. He
didn't recall his uncle ever mentioning anything like that.
"Is it because Jeong Jaeui has more worries and suffering than you? That's what humanity is."
Suddenly, Ilay's voice echoed in his mind.
Maybe he was longing for something. But how could he know what his brother wanted when everything his brother wanted could easily be grasped without any effort?
But anyway, the term 'humanity' seemed very negative.
Jeong Taeui smiled bitterly.
It seemed his consciousness was fading as he read the book halfway.
His mind became empty, filled with unrelated thoughts.
And then someone came to wake him from that heavy sleep.