"Thank you, Adam. I think we need some time with each other now." With those final words from Celsael, the three girls left, Eve leaned into me.
"That was not a development I expected from a memory triggered like that." She sighed.
"Their father blocked the real memory. He put a definitive boundary in place. "This is me, that is you. Let me fade to a memory." Is the basic gist of it. I don't know how to feel, Eve. Do I hate the bastard? Hurting those three like that makes me furious. Or do I thank that saint? His sacrifice is why I exist and the reason we can be together."
"Feelings aren't always one or the other Adam, this is what it's like with most things, you hate the bad bits and love the good bits."
"That sounds... Exhausting, we should go find Quatal, she is my daughter. Who knows what she'll get up to? By the way, we are definitely having a baby at some point." I said, adding the last bit so matter-of-factly that Eve tripped over her own feet.
"Wh... Where did that come from?" She mumbled.
"Their dad told me. I don't think he meant to, but he mentioned our children... I don't think he would consider Cosmael, in fact I know he wouldn't, he wouldn't give any of them up for anything."
"Do you know when? Boy or girl? What species? Oh m-my, what do we do? We aren't ready for a b-"
"I know absolutely no details, no we are not, but maybe we should get things ready for when it happens, even though I can make most of it in an instant it would be nice not to have to."
"True. Ok, deep breaths, I'm definitely gonna be a mummy... Should we start now?"
"We already started didn't we? Besides like I said, Quatal is unsupervised and we just had lunch so she isn't sleeping anytime soon." With that, I grabbed her hand and led her off to find our daughter.
We told her the girls were sad today, that they needed some time alone with each other and themselves.
"Don't Worry... I'll go and make them feel all better."
"Quatal. No!... Imagine if Papa left, how said would you be?"
"What!? Papa isn't leaving is he?"
"No... But their Papa did and he just told them he wasn't coming back ever again."
Quatal began to cry. "But Papa... That's so sad... Shouldn't we try to hug make them better?"
"We will, but if I left, do you think anyone could make you feel better?"
"No." The heartbreaking finality of the word drove home the second reason he made me give them that message. Not maybe, not I don't know, not in time. No. A wound that would never fully heal, a scar I should have understood as a son who lost his parents, but the potential to leave that scar on my own child never consciously crossed my mind.
Becoming a father, then a husband. I became sure I would die for them, I would have gladly died for them. In that moment I realised... What then? I die and best case they live until they become truly eternal, carrying that un-healing wound infinitely.
"No." Her voice repeated that word in my mind, I had to live. Dying was no longer an option, I would invest every shred of selfishness into making sure the reality that word represented never came to pass.
This realm belonged to the mortals, it was not mine. The Garden was mine, in time the Domain of Black would be mine, my duty was to them and all the beings that inhabited them. Those beings were the ones I would live for, I reached a decision in that moment, the decision to stay long enough to erase every threat this realm posed to those two, when that was done I would ensure every trace of danger was wiped from The White and maintaining that would be my eternal purpose.
As I reached that decision, the girls appeared, composed but... different.
"Adam, we have reached a decision."
I couldn't stop Quatal running over to hold them each in turn. Just sat, waiting for them to be ready to speak.
"Our father is gone. The Domain of Black needs to know, we need to honour our father's last wishes and we know the decision you've reached. Cosmael will stay indefinitely, ready to be adopted. Astrael and I will take turns watching over your future domain until you are ascended, I will be taking first watch, it is time I put some effort in as a big sister and as my father's daughter. Astrael needs to be their for our princess and future heirs that arrive."
"Ce-"
"When you ascend, I swear I will make him feel it when I hit you." You spoke through gritted teeth, she was doing what she thought right, pushing herself to change in a way that she had resisted out of fear her father wouldn't recognise her when he returned.
I stood and hugged her. "Celesael, take care of yourself, come back whenever you need a break and full to the brim with stories to tell. I want to hear everything you have to say when you return to us. I'm so proud of you."
With that, she broke away, bowed goodbye and shattered through the veil of transcendence like tissue paper to prove herself the big sister once and for all.
Quatal called me mean, but Astrael picked her up and told her that I was actually being very kind, explaining it in the way that Quatal was able to seamlessly get things through to her.
Cosmael hugged me. "I'm gonna miss sister. She already said goodbye. I won't ever see her again." I hugged her back and Eve joined.
"Little one, my darling daughter, You haven't lost her and the next time you see her she will be your aunt and tell you all the stories of how she loved her little sister that refused to grow up."
"We don't think it will be long you have to wait little one, you don't even need to wait, as a goddess, I will carry you gladly if I can. I don't know what the rules are but I accept them and will make you as much ours as the one Adam gives me."
"I do-"
"You can, I don't know how I know, but I can guess. You will change far more than a simple reversion though, so please consider it until it is time and more than you did before, this won't just make you younger, you will no longer be a deva at all."
"Ok, I promise I'll think, thank you for being my parents."
"My little sister has good manners, she's a good girl." Quatal declared.
We stayed isolated that night, all of us together, the world sealed off. Mortals no matter how cherished were not welcome to intrude, a moment made for immortals to remember fondly for eternity.
The morning was clear, an unspoken agree had been made to pretend nothing was changed, there was too much to do and process to deal with it in one go so we chose to pace ourselves one step at a time.
Eve and I left Quatal with the egg and Astrael, Cosmael secluded herself to properly make a decision, as she had sworn to do until the time came. It may have seemed dramatic, but she was weighing the experiences of an immortal life against the potential that came with a new one.
"When we get to Byurik's office, we should tell him Celesael went home."
"Yeah, they are all going to miss her."
"They will meet again, I'm certain she will return for every event. Then, when we relieve her of her duty, she may even return to see how things have changed. They might still be here."
"You aren't thinking like a human anymore, are you?"
"I am, I still think like one, but I just accepted that I'm not. Do you still love me?"
"I love who you were, I love who you are and I love who you will be. You are the ex god of suffering and the future god of black, but I am and will always be the goddess of Adam."
"And I will worship you and treasure every blessing you bestow for all my days." As I spoke the black ribbon pushed through, as though binding us in those new vows. "It seems our patron is pleased."
Eve chuckled, leaning against me as we walked, and then I stepped forward, opening the door to the guild for what felt like the first time and ushering her through after stepping to the side.
The people felt more distant than usual as we walked through, they seemed to step aside and make way where we would usually bump into people a dozen times as they moved from section to section in a blind rush.
'Is this what it means to be a god? I don't believe that. A god is all powerful, omniscient and omnipresent.' I thought. 'Regardless of race, I wished to befriend these people, these mortals, regardless of lifespan. If I am truly a god, truly omnipresent, then why do they feel so distant? If I am a god, then all are within my reach.'
I walked up the first few steps toward Byurik's office then turned. "Attention please!" My voice was loud, theatrical and full of grandiose showmanship. "I unfortunately am too busy these days to keep on top of jobs and keep Dusk on his toes, so I leave the job to all of you..." My growing crowd began to chuckle and murmur. "... Like any good job though it pays well... The highest earner of the week will earn twenty gold coins from my own account and I'll thrown a bottle of the finest scotch or mead of the winners choice!"
The respectful distance they had been granting us collapsed, I laughed and bantered as Eve enjoyed the sight of me unburdening myself for a moment.
"I hope you're sure, we still haven't worked for a long time."
"Actually I earned a fair bit the day before our wedding. I don't know how much though, I was more focused on barbecue."
We both laughed, then turned and continued up the stairs.