"Did he really just say "bigger"? He did that to me with just a finger and it doesn't compare now." Eve muttered, her euphoria giving way to a self-deprecating clarity.
Until that moment, Eve had been confident that when the time came she would be up to the task. She had been the instigator in most of the intimate situations they had enjoyed, but for the first time she deemed herself lacking.
"I know he won't care about that side of our relationship too much whatever happens, but can I really handle that? Are we simply incompatible on a physical level." Her desire, she knew, had been relatively selfish up to then. She knew for some reason he seemed incapable of that kind of satisfaction, but after him giving her even that partial release, desire gave way to a strange guilt and what she knew were baseless fears.
She ran her hand down her still naked body, tracing the lingering warmth coursing through her. 'maybe I don't need to worry about that obstacle just yet, surely there are other methods for women, there are others for men. Maybe I could ask him to shrink it a bit? No, Eve that would be wrong, he'd never ask me to change myself for him.'
She rolled over, then kicked her legs and yelled into the pillow briefly before rolling back. "No Eve, you're being stupid. My problem is ignorance and naivety. Maybe I should talk to a woman with far less of both, but who?"
Her mind was tying itself in knots as she listed all the women she knew.
"Valo... Absolutely not, he wouldn't mind me asking advice on something bothering me, but she would drive us both insane. Not to mention she has feelings for him, I'd rather not tempt her like that."
"Klara? Not bad, but she told me that she never found love, so maybe that would just be salting a wound."
"The seamst- No absolutely not, he would never forgive me for that."
"Astrael? Actually she would be great, even if she has no firsthand experience, deva are practically omniscient from observing the mortal realm so much." Hope entered her voice, she had made her decision, now she just needed Astrael to return as soon as possible.
"Excuse me! I am still here you know!" The voice sent a sudden chill down her spine. "I agreed to not spy on these "sessions" of yours, but I am still a god you know. I may have a bad memory but I still remember how mortals make babies." The voice was childish, arrogant and incredibly obnoxious.
Yet it still was worth considering, especially in the face of such a private issue, the dirty minded adolescent god wasn't the worst option she had available surprisingly. In fact, the more she thought about it, the better an idea it seemed.
She knew Adam, she could easily access her memories and assess the information and whilst lacking any experience she possessed an obscene amount of obscene information. "Hey, I won't look at your memories of his junk! That would be wrong, I know his hands like the back of mine though, just te-"
"About one and half times as long and double the thickness." Eve cut in, eager to hear the sage wisdom of the perverted deity who had whispered inappropriate things to her her whole life.
"Wowsers, yeah that is going to hurt a bit. He got some big hands too."
"Grr! Did you just chime in to ma-" Eve began to get fed up before being interrupted.
"Hey! Let me finish..."Ever replied, much clearer and dominant than any other time she had spoken. She had also lost the immature twinge to her voice. "Be realistic, it will hurt, that isn't unique to your situation." She finished, with warmth and reassurance.
"OK, so... It's going to hurt a bit."
"Yes. Look, it will at first at least and if you rush the process. I know Adam, he will be nervous and scared he's making you suffer. You have to take it slow, or he will end it. Tell me, have you..." Ever's voice cut out momentarily. "...Yes you have it seems, so that will help things move easier and be more welcoming.
Eve was surprised at how helpful and mature Ever was about the situation. For once she wasn't making jokes or being obnoxious, that had given way to sincerity and a certain kind of solidarity.
Ever went into great detail about the biology and seemed genuinely sympathetic to Eve, who had been sent into the world so ignorant of such things, particularly when Vedna knew she was cohabitation with her betrothed.
Ever took significant exception to that last point.
"Also it may be embarrassing for you, but ask if you can go on top, I will teach you a position you can use to have greater control of pace and depth. Don't expect miracles and fireworks your first time, just enjoy it for what it is, a beautiful moment where you and the man you love give yourselves to each other completely. Don't romanticise it so much in your own head you devalue the reality... You are the first woman in a thousand lifetimes to capture his heart and receive his body. I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty fucking awesome."
"You were doing so well. Why ruin it?" Eve said, her voice filled with dissipating self-doubt, returning confidence and genuine gratitude.
"Sorry, realised Vedna sheltered you so bad, you could of gotten hurt badly if I weren't here and got kinda mad. He needs to know he done wrong."
Eve chuckled, tearing up slightly as she finally felt some meaningful personal connection with her lifelong friend and voice in her head. "Yes, yes he does." Eve was about to turn in for the night when she remembered that she hadn't checked the monitor for Adam's implant.
She pulled out the small screen from her bedside draw. It had time stamps but that wasn't much help since she didn't know what time anything happened, luckily though it measure all his vitals, including brain activity and she learnt how to read that approximately a while ago by correlating it with her empathic abilities.
The first thing she realised was the time stamps though and it was far later than she thought, she scanned back and figured he had been meditating since he left, though only effectively for two hours since his head was all over the place.
As she scanned back through though, to the time of interest, what she had expected to find was the usual readings but that was not the case.
What she saw made her smile brightly, and cry rivers down her cheeks. Thinking back she could tell exactly when it happened. "Was it "Memory be damned, I just thought of something we can do." I think it was." His demeanour changed for a split second his seemed to go black but she had thought it a shadow cast by candlelight.
'When he said that he sounded different. He truly gave me everything he could tonight, from those words and for twenty solid minutes he overpowered whatever is holding him back and he did it for me.' It was the first time since she had received the display that she had seen any sign her theory wasn't just that.
She pulled up all the data from their time together that night, scrutinising every line and number. It was bizarre, but before he spoke, his brain activity fully inverted and reverted, that must have temporarily disabled whatever it is that shackles him, because for those twenty minutes, his heart rate, and other vitals all began to creep up gradually until they spiked suddenly.
"Hmm this looks familiar... Did Adam do that thing where he kinda just zones out then surrenders to his instincts? If he did, seems his instincts are too strong to be dominated, how strange, their volatility always made them look more fragile to me."
Ever's rambling, once again filled her with gratitude, given her an epiphany and now she just needed to wait for the proper moment or think of a way to stage it