As we walked arm in arm through the still barren streets I kissed her on the cheek, earning a yelp and stammering enquiry as to what exactly I was doing. I wouldn't describe what I did as crying, but tears fell slowly, as I explained myself.
"I've never kissed anyone before, not even my parents in my first life. I suddenly realised that despite claiming not to love you, I doubt I'd know if I did, so I wanted to test myself." I kept moving as I spoke and intended to do so after, but Eve stopped dead and broke free from me.
"Well? Don't keep me waiting." She stood with her arms folded looking at the ground. She was… beautiful. That's the only way I could describe the vision that stood before me in that moment, so much so the sight of her seemed to burn itself into my memory, as though the universe itself refused to let the moment be lost or forgotten.
"Dummy. I truly don't know. But, kissing you just now made me so happy it brought a tear to my eye." I had stopped and turned to face her, unfortunately that meant I saw the audience in the window of the conference hall.
Kriel was grinning ear to ear giving me a thumbs up, Vedna looked close to bursting a blood vessel, Halsan was averting his eyes and Fala was for lack of a more effective description… Sparkling. The expression of a young girl seeing two of her favourite people take the next step in their relationship.
Eve unfolded her arms and jogged toward me, but as she attempted to make a small romantic leap to me I dodged and turned, explaining the group at the window before she could get angry.
We then walked quickly home. Both blushed crimson and no longer able to walk side by side without tripping over each other and exasperating our bashful reaction.
When the excruciatingly long walk came to an end, we both slid down the freshly closed door, exhausted by the sense we were followed and had eyes on us for the whole journey. After a few seconds and several sideways glances at one another, we both began to chuckle with increasing intensity at our own paranoia.
When we finished, she returned my kiss on the cheek and we stood, at which point she asked if I would prefer sleep or food first. Pushing me towards the stairs when I chose the former and ultimately pushing me all the way to bed.
I realised that we were in her room and turned to face her, but she started speaking before I could. "I know, I just want to keep you close, now turn around please." She was covering herself as though holding her innocence together.
"I think I'll change into my pajamas and return momentarily." I spoke as I left the room, as relaxed as I was trying to act, I wasn't ready to be in the same room as her as she changed. A strange feeling given the fact that I shared a room with women countless times in my first life alone, making me wonder if it was because the other me lacked shame or it was the fact it was mostly in military barracks.
Regardless of the reason, I needed to shake it off since I was unwilling to give her room to think I felt awkward around her.
As I changed, I did so slowly, without any idea how long it would take her, I wanted to ensure she had plenty of time. "This is stupid, I'm overthinking things." I spoke as I caught sight of my crimson features in a mirror, then finished changing and headed back.
The glimpse I caught of myself had me ranting in my own mind as I walked the hallway. 'A man of my age, blushing like a teenage boy. Ridiculous, you're a damn fool Adam, you're perfectly capable of sleeping regardless of who's in the room.'
I knocked on the door and waited to be given leave to enter, then entered and made my way over to the bed. Then when I had reached about half way, chickened out completely and laid down on the floor instead. Despite them saying they could only talk when I was completely exhausted, I could feel my subconscious passengers laughing at my pathetic display.
Eve laughed softly. "I get it, the bed seems a bit intimate." Her words made me grateful, the fact she understood was a relief. "Thank you, I think I bit off more than I could chew myself, but if you just joined me I would have gone along with it."
I turned to respond and saw her duvet in the air, fluttering down to cover me, before a pillow thudded against my hip as it landed. I was about to tell her she could keep the duvet and I would get mine, then she thudded onto the floor as she joined me.
I put the pillow under my head and kept facing away from her. "Thank you for being concerned about me. It means more than you know." I spoke the words I had wished to say to Fala as well.
In response Eve shimmied over slowly, then placed her forehead between my shoulders. "I was so scared I wouldn't see you again, you were gone so long." words that made our head split without warning, as another memory returned.
I found myself in a setting I had seen quite recently, when I challenged the fragment to relive our life. It was the cold minimalist metal bunkhouse I was taken to after my parents' deaths.
This wasn't the moment I was dropped off however, this was a year or so into my residency. Returned to the dormitory by another automaton I was dropped onto one of the metal slab beds, landing on my feet. I turned to punch the machine in its ocular lens, only managing to smear blood from freshly split knuckles across it.
"Subject 1-1-2-7-0-0. This is incident citation 8-6-4. Punishment: suspended." The machine turned and left, bumping into the door frame slightly.
I sat down and wiped the blood away, admiring how I had already healed before laying down and assuming the fetal position facing the door.
Not long after I heard pattering across the floor, then felt breath on my neck as someone joined me on my slab and finally a pressure between my shoulders as someone pressed their head into my back.
"I was so scared I wouldn't see you again, you were gone so long." My back grew damp as she sobbed.
"Don't worry about me. All they do is take stuff out and put other stuff in. They keep me asleep as much as possible now, so it doesn't hurt either." I spoke to reassure her, suddenly remembering doing so several times. I rolled over and bumped my forehead against the girl's. "You need to go back to bed, you'll get in trouble when they catch you with me. I'm always watched."
"Yes and stop whining, some of us are trying to sleep Ever, stop clinging to him so much." The voice coming from another girl, who I raised my head slightly to glare at.
I remembered it, I ruled that dorm and demanded everyone take care of each other. I would attack the automatons whenever they came by and draw attention away from the others. On the rare occasions people stopped by I would attack them too, that's how they learned I could heal and began the experiments.
They promised if I submitted to those, they wouldn't touch the others, so I did. My body was pulled apart piece by piece, it was agony, then one day something happened and after that they always kept me asleep.
More memories poured into me.
The girl, Ever, arrived a month or two after I did. She wasn't accompanied by an automaton, just walked in and said she was told to find Adam.
When I approached and said I was Adam, I expected it was some kind of experiment but she jumped at me and said she came to keep me company.
She seemed confused when she saw my ability to heal, but told all the children she had her own power. She told us that she could make it so the automatons and grown-ups couldn't see her, which was hard to believe until you note that she walked in alone.
I could hardly talk since my ability to heal was just as unbelievable, she was strange but she didn't act like she was trying to trick us and she hid under an unused slab when humans came to inspect the dorm. Not that she needed to, it was clear that she truly couldn't be seen.
The other girl who I remembered telling her to stop clinging to me made me angry though, she was mean to Ever, even tried to have her found once. Of course I snapped and made myself a distraction, jumping onto one of the inspectors and punching them repeatedly in the head.
My efforts got me stabbed with a pen several times, which left me spluttering and breathing until I healed. When the holes in my chest and neck closed, I stood up angrier than I ever remembered being. One of the others had broken my rule of looking after each other, if they refused to look after each other, they would turn on each other. I had to make sure it didn't happen again.
"How many were taken before I got them to stop?"
"Lots Adam, I'm sure she's sorry, don't stop. Please, don't stop."
The boy's words angered me. I was happy to make the sacrifice, but being asked to make it so they could be spared was hurtful. "So I should suffer, just to keep you all safe? If we all take care of eachother, why is Ever the only one to ask if I'm ok?" I felt my mind begin to crack more, the same way it did when I watched my parents die.
"Adam, I'm not sorry, seeing her cling to you makes me angry."
The cracks spread more and more as I began to talk.
Suddenly the door hissed as it opened, a man began to lecture me for attacking his staff, the words muffled, the children whimpered.
I spoke two words as I turned to face him, waving an outstretched hand. "You're interrupting." My voice possessed an almost alien, ethereal quality. As my arm scanned past him he was reduced to a bloody smear, the door ripped off and crumpled against the wall.
As everyone else screamed and wailed, Ever rushed over to me. "Adam… You can't stand hurting people, calm down." Her words saved everyone.
When I regained my senses I fell and scrambled back, away from the carnage, when something prevented me getting further I hugged my knees rocking back and forth.
Then a blurry figure stepped into the middle of the doorway, speaking muffled words as the memory began to fade.
As I remained in the trance between the memory and waking up, I was free to evaluate what I had seen. It was all so clear but the time scale seemed off, too short, the memory wasn't altered but severely distorted. It was obvious when I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflective metal and I appeared as a teenager. What concerned me most however was the girl who angered me, she looked exactly like the altered hologram, minus several years, that sent Ever into a rabid frenzy.
There was also the fact that Ever was there at all. How? Why? This revelation was enlightening, but it was more jarring than the world suddenly disappearing from beneath me.
Ever was with me back then.
I was never entirely human.
Despite being in freefall though, it was comforting. The thing about being in freefall because the world disappeared, is that you get a nice breeze and have no ground beneath you to splat against.
I opened my eyes, back damp from someone sobbing against it. "What will it take to prove that I always come back to you?" I turned over and hugged her. "Are you Ever or my Eve?"
"I'm your Ever and I don't know how to feel about this situation I must say. Lying with you reminds me of those few times you let me after nightmares, but knowing it isn't me that got you here is sad, but knowing you found someone to open your heart to makes me happy. I'm very confused. I'm sorry to say I'm not sure how I was with you back then either, though I now remember my time with little Adam and that witch who nearly broke you… I'll rest for now, but I'm telling her to keep it modest, I don't want to see any of that." She then got a mischievous look in her eye and kissed me, apparently fading out midway through judging by Eve's embarrassment.
"She says we need to keep it modest, then does that…why do I feel like she's serving you to me?"
Eve was flushed the deepest red yet, but she was crying as well, asking if I was ok.
I smiled warmly, telling her candidly how it left me rattled, but knowing Ever was with me back then made me happy. I then had an epiphany speaking abruptly and earning an ill placed knee to the groin by announcing "That girl interests me though." I coughed and groaned a moment, before continuing. "What I meant was that the way she got jealous of me showing attachment to another… Didn't it seem familiar?"
I sensed the statement tapped into a deep well of emotion within her. "Yes, it did. I also noticed she seemed quite familiar appearance wise as well… Ever is so angry I feel like she might make me hunt her down."
I grabbed Eve's face with both of mine, stopping the steady flow of tears and making her bright red again. "Ever, I will do it. I should have done it then, she was my responsibility."
Another knee to the groin, followed by Eve telling me that that one was from Ever left me groaning once more. She then ordered me to turn around and returned her forehead to the space between my shoulders.
The next thing either of us knew was we were waking up, the soft dud-ing of small knuckles against the door.
The first thing I felt through the grogginess of fresh awakening, was the cool damp patch on my shoulder, followed quickly by the light gnawing that created it. Then I felt the absurd constrictor-like grip that left the tingling sensation of pins and needles spanning my entire right leg, as both of Eve's coiled around it.
I sighed, a fool for not foreseeing it. It was exactly how I used to wake up when Ever would come to me in the night saying she was scared and asking to join me. I racked my brain to remember how I used to get out of it then, but the numb pricking sensation was all I could focus on.
The soft dud-ing sounded at the door again, making me wonder if I should ask for help. I was sure it was Fala, but for some reason that made asking for help even less of an option.
With no other alternatives, I rolled over onto my stomach, which proved a mistake. As I did so, something soft pressed into my back, leaving me flushed red as I rolled back and pinched her calf, enduring the split second death grip before she broke away screaming in my ear.
She ended up resting against the bed, rubbing where I pinched, asking what it was for as though the victim of the situation.
I had scampered over to the corner of the room, just beside the door. Still flushed red, rubbing my leg as the blood rushing to the starved limb made it tingle even more. "Why don't you wipe your chin before playing the victim card? Cannibal queen."
The door then slowly creeped open, just in time for Fala to see me struck in the face by a pillow. She then clicked her tongue before saying "Good morning your majesty."
Fala acting like so left us both speechless, wondering when the meek little girl got her fresh sassy persona.
"Well, Valo told me to click my tongue if you were messing around and everybody told me to say that." She had returned to the sweet little girl we adored.
We were refocused however and I told Fala to go let everyone in and serve drinks whilst we got dressed for the day. Squeezing through the occupied doorway as I headed for my room, tripping over myself when I heard Fala tell Eve that Valo wants to know if it was as good as she thinks it was.