We had things to do however, so rather than dwell on what we couldn't do, I decided to do what we could and hooked her elbow with mine. Ignoring how she blushed as I pulled her in the direction of the temple I realised that all my thoughts were suddenly about Eve; What would make Eve happy? What can I do with Eve? I wonder what food Eve would like? I wonder what drink Eve would like? I wonder what music would speak to her?
All these questions began to swirl around my mind as though caught in a vortex, a whirlpool that dragged those thoughts to the depths of the ocean of thoughts that were all just Eve. I glanced at her, her usually porcelain skin slightly tinged in the cheeks with an ephemeral blush that was naturally deepened by the contrast of her usual complexion.
"Is this love?" The thought was painfully inept, making me realise that despite my accumulated wisdom, my ingenuity, my eons of time, I was hopelessly, woefully ignorant in matters of the heart and possessed the emotional capacity of gnat's thimble. I tried to hide my dismay, but as I stole another glance at my bride-to-be, she was looking at me and pouting.
"Does spending time with me casually, really inspire such frustration and confusion?" She sulked, which I found strange since she should be happy I was trying.
With my curiosity truly tantalised, I sat down, which quite comically made Eve panic as she thought I had become so lost in thought I forgot there wasn't a chair to sit on, which made her grab me in a poor rescue attempt. As the ground rose up to catch me however, she lost balance and ended up straddling me, our faces a mere fraction of an inch from each other. An event which ripped me from my thoughts as we both tried to process how we had ended up in that position, both of us descending through every shade of red a human can go.
"Why did, you do that?" Her voice had become the softest of whispers, faces still an involuntary twitch away from occupying the same space. She had the slight scent of coffee and cinnamon, lingering from the meal we had just had and being so close to her made me feel strangely comforted and safe.
"As much as I like this, I think you should move first." My words made her blushing deepen into colours that seemed unnatural for a human and unhealthy.
Craaaack!
The sound rang out as her hand connected with my face, somewhere between the lashing of a whip and a hammer hitting an anvil, I was glad that I had recovered my healing. I doubt that I would have been conscious if I hadn't, the slap was so perfect it was borderline artistic. Which is likely why it managed to garner the attention of everyone in earshot.
"What the hell are you made of!" Eve growled at me as she nursed her hand which I was amazed remained intact, my only answer was a slight gesture toward the temple under construction which she followed toward the sight of dozens of workmen who were frozen in place by third-party feeling by the sound of the smiting me.
Embarrassed and pain overwhelmed by the sensation of having so many people gaping at her in shocked silence, all she could muster with a wave, which was a simple flick of her wrist that stung with the subtle motion. She then grabbed me and stormed into the building, dragging me by both collar and cuff to the harrowing accompaniment of so many groan men all going "Oooooo" gradually ascending in pitch with everyone of our steps.
Whilst I'm not ashamed to admit I was utterly terrified in that moment, I had afterall learned that despite her human physical-limitations her magic was a real danger to me, I was truly struggling to understand why exactly she was so mad about me making a concerted effort to examine my feelings toward her as well as expressing that I enjoyed her presence. A woman however, is a mysterious force best not provoked, so I let her gather her thoughts since that one proved paradoxically more dangerous the less prepared she was.
After several seconds, which felt like hours, of holding myself back from premature explanation of exactly what I was thinking. She asked the question. "What were you thinking!?..." She paused as her embarrassment flared in advance of mentioning what had happened. "...A man should not simply pull a maiden onto his lap… In public no less!" She added the last bit mid gasp, turning her voice into an adorable squeak with the emphasis she had put into the word "public".
"I was trying to figure out if I loved you, but, that is why I was frustrated and then as I went to sit down you grabbed me to help and I didn't want you to fall and ruin your dress… So I got the ground to catch me sooner than I planned, but then you lost balance and then…" I gulped at the memory. "...Then you were so close and being so close to you made me feel warm and safe and I honestly didn't want you to move, but then I remembered where we were and then you spoke, and smelled lovely and looked beautiful and I don't know what I'm saying…" My rambling ended abruptly and left us standing in an awkward silence.
We were both too flustered to look the other in the face, but as if magnetic slowly moved closer to each other until we were, for reasons unknown to us, standing back to back.
"This will be a truly stunning temple when it's finished…" Eve muttered after a few seconds of us leaning against one another, her fingers drawing circles in my palms and lines along my fingers as she struggled to resist holding my hands and triggering the memory. "I suppose we can put it down to a series of fortunate events. I'm not happy about the timing, nor the location, but any doubt my inexperience produced in my feelings towards you are gone now. I love you Adam, I can't wait to marry you and whilst I very much long for the day you say you feel the same. I can wait, I don't think it will be long now anyway."
"Your inexperience? I don't even know what love means, I feel stupid. I want to love you, but I don't even know if that makes sense. Having you close to me, brings me peace I have torn worlds apart to find, brings me comfort no power, knowledge, talent, war or person ever has before. You make me feel safe, but I didn't even realise I felt at risk. Being near you makes me want things that never crossed my mind, to leave the world to its own devices while I carve out my own little corner to live and grow old with the people I hold dear."
Every word I spoke was the truth, yet despite my own lack of feeling I have read plenty of stories about love, seen as many films and shows that displayed it, seen and heard people express it at weddings and family gatherings, even in my own home around the table, I can see the love that everyone feels. What left me completely unable to grasp it, was my own detachment. My cheeks will blush with embarrassment, my body will be bathed in a comforting warmth. But my heart has never skipped a beat, never raced with the exhilaration I'd heard others describe when speaking of love.
I explained all that to Eve, the thought of hiding any of it from her never crossing my mind, "Why is it I the thought of losing you, or even being apart from you feels me with regret, but my body can't give me even a single sign that would make me able to tell you what you want to hear without it feeling hollow? Is this how normal humans feel? If not, then why are such short-lived creatures able to decode the mystery of their hearts while someone with knowledge spanning civilisations can't."
"Adam, don't rush, ok? I don't mind waiting, just make sure it isn't hollow when you bring that wait to an end. I know you love me, you wouldn't be anguishing so much if you didn't, but maybe your heart just needs time to heal. Maybe you still haven't put the whole judge thing completely to one side. Maybe you need to make peace with some of the awful things you've done. I love you Adam, that won't change so don't worry about missing out."
I turned and pulled her into an embrace. I told her that I may not be sure about a lot of things, but I was absolutely certain I was a lucky man. "You have no idea, but I think we should go home for a time, I want to try something," She then led us away, ignoring the comments the workers' muttered ever-so-slightly too loud to be inaudible to us.
"I wish I could calm my better half that quickly."
"That woman is scary for a holy woman."
My personal favourite however… "He's aliiive!" The dramatic exclamation reminded me of simpler times when I had the capacity to think about how so many things used to strike me as cliché since I reawakened.
The way it all seemed to completely go over Eve's head though was somewhat unsettling, her hearing was very acute and I was under no delusion that she couldn't hear them. What left me unsettled was the absence of any kind of response or reaction, Eve had many skills and talents, but self-restraint was not even in her vocabulary for the most part. "Was everything up to now just an overcorrection after a lifetime of acting in accordance with public image?" The thought briefly crossed my mind, but she was blushing and the arm she had hooked with mine was tense.
I wasn't sure of why, but she seemed worried about something, definitely not the same nervousness she showed as a woman taking steps in a relationship. "You know, in my original life, people didn't get married very often. Most people just dated." I spoke the words, wondering if she was worried about marrying a mess like me.
"Dated?" she spoke the word, not with genuine curiosity, but some brand of skeptic suspicion.
"Essentially it encompassed the entirety of what this time considers 'standard procedure' in relationships; courting, proposal, engagement, marriage. The reason, quite simply, was that marriage was a religious affectation and since the complete erasure of religion had been completed about twenty years prior to my birth, only people before from that era were married."
"So what, one minute strangers, the next minute living together having children? That sounds entirely hedonistic." For a moment she sounded like a proper noble woman hearing the latest scandal and it hooked the corner of my mouth.
"By the time I understood that kind of thing, I was in the military, sooo… Yes, couples weren't exactly shy in the barracks'. It made sense though, if the woman was pregnant, they were retired from the field, it gave them a chance to live away from the frontlines. It also made it easier for me to sneak out and recruit as well as provided me with a healthy stock of love struck young men, desperate to change the world for the next generation. Anyway, the point is, we don't have to rush into things and make it so permanent if you are worried, I can feel the tension in you." I was then assaulted and insulted without explanation and my being dragged home was resumed.
"You're a dummy." That was the last sentence she spoke on the way.
When we finally reached home, she dragged me to the lounge chair and, after taking of her shoes, laid down and told me to lay on top of her which left me speechless. "Dummy, I don't mean like that, I mean face up, with your back against me."
Unwilling to drag out what was clearly a very embarrassing moment for her, I did exactly as she told me to do. Finally positioned with my head resting against her shoulder, between her cheek and the back of the chair as she stroked my hair.
"You said being close made you feel safe, I was happy that you feel that way, but then I realised that must mean deep down somewhere you don't. I get it, trouble seems to find you and pile violence and anguish upon you. On top of that, you lost a lot of your power and that witch declared war." She coughed as she tried to pretend the last bit went unsaid. "I want you to feel safe though, you won't be able to grow until you do. So from now until the wedding and everyday after, stay close to me, rest with me and let me do what I can to make you feel safe."
"I have to admit, I feel more vulnerable than ever, I never thought of vulnerability as a bad thing and even spent a good few thousand years wishing I was. That was before I had something to lose though, now I'm a bit lost." As I laid there with my eyes closed talking, I felt every stroke of her hand, every beat of her heart and the warmth of every breath she took.
"I'm happy I'm weak now, I think my power was as much at fault for keeping people at distance, but now I'm free to be weak and vulnerable and seek comfort in your arms…" I hesitated briefly.
"But?..." She said softly, nudging me with her chin to tell me to continue.
"...But, now I'm weak, I can't say in all honesty I can shield you from any harm, not you, not Fala, not anyone. Now I'm not the strongest, what am I? I've only ever been a judge of worlds, even before I was officially given the job."
"Dummy, you're the hero of Newland, you're Fala's uncle, the man who earned the respect of everyone who has met you. You are the future king of Eden and my future husband, maybe a father, if more has changed inside you than you know… Please don't test that, if I become pregnant I'll be thrilled, but I have had to accept that it is likely impossible. In short you are you and I can't speak for everyone, but I wouldn't have you any other way." The whole time she spoke, she never stopped comforting me and before long I drifted off in her arms.
I only awoke at lunch time, when Kriel and Valo arrived to help with lunch as we had agreed. Surprisingly they didn't make any comments, but I sensed that was mostly due to the sensitivity Eve had shown at breakfast. Neither of them were willing to anger her, as much for what she would do as for how I would respond to them upsetting her.
I was more surprised when we made to get up and start preparing food and they told us they could make-do and we didn't need to get up. "We don't always need your exceptional food, sometimes mere ceptional is just fine." Valo's words, whilst appreciated, bore the ring of disappointment beneath the bad word-play.
"No, this old man has played the fool long enough today, I have promises to keep and at the very least the way I approach those will remain set in stone." I laughed as I stood, then dragged a clearly disappointed Eve off the couch.
When the food baskets were full we made our way over, Valo mentioned that Fala had dealt with several patients. "For some reason, the workmen assigned to the temple must have been distracted. Nothing major, mainly just hammer-struck thumbs and grazes, I was more surprised they bothered to get such minor wounds examined. Did Rein ask the tradesmen to give Fala as much practice as possible?" Kriel explained casually, apparently after the first three showed up he decided to help on site in case it affected their schedule.
I told him not to forget his other duties training Leeson and the troops, but he waved me off. I was quickly noticing that as powerful as he was, he was more inclined toward manual labour and never missed a chance to help with physically demanding jobs regardless of ease or import he offered his assistance.
As we got to the clinic he suddenly blocked the door. "Hand over the baskets, go home." His tone was demanding, firm, the authoritative voice of a commander. It was a tone that I found curious.
"I'm not a soldier subordinate Kriel, this is my clinic, Fala is my apprentice, I have a duty-." Krield raised a hand to interrupt me.
"You have a duty to yourself and your betrothed and giving the girl room to make mistakes will be good for her, we have told everyone she treated today it was a test day and they should come back tomorrow so you can assess and treat them if needed." Eve and I just looked at each other, everything he said was a good point and if there was an emergency we could be there in no time.
"Me, Kriel, Doran and Kidri can keep things under control, you can leave for your trip to visit Askel after assessing her work and a spot of lunch. Tyrland stopped by and gave us some mana seal rings after hearing about Fala's new control concerns. So you two can spend the night with Askel as a bit of a pre-wedding getaway." Valo managed to counter argue every issue we may have had and before we knew it we were agreeing with their plan and turning to leave.
When we arrived back, we realised that they had essentially just used us to make their trip easier, but a small price to pay considering.
Then after a very brief discussion we headed to bed, fully preparing to settle in until the morning came. We both dressed for bed, then I returned to the kitchen to grab a couple of glasses and some plates ready for dinner time. Nothing I conjure is as good as what I cook, but it sure as hell beats anything this world knew before I got here.
This time we both got into bed without hesitation, we laid in a similar position to how we did on the couch but this time I was further down with my head resting on her stomach. "Tell me about your childhood, you know plenty about mine, even more thanks to Ever, but I don't really know much about your life." I asked as she resumed the petting.
"What do you want to know, or should I just start from the beginning and keep going until you fall asleep?" Her voice was practically a whisper, as though she feared she would break me if she spoke too loudly.
"The beginning, I know a bit, Vedna told me about how you helped him after the loss of your mother." I answered, rubbing her calf when I felt her tense.
"I'm ok. My father did his best in the early years, putting his grief on hold as much as possible. When I was about six it suddenly caught up with him. He stopped eating, governed by proxy, many people feared he would advocate his papacy. I didn't want him to lose anything else though and was desperate to help him and that's when I first heard the voice, who I guess was Eve." She smiled as she lost herself in remembrance.
"She said, "He would just slap him, but maybe you should just tell him I'm here"." She chuckled as Ever spoke to her and I pulled a face as I remembered my first time meeting Rein.
"I ran to my father! "Daddy! Daddy! The voice wants me to slap you." I said as I burst into his office, interrupting an important meeting with several cardinals." The memory had her throw her head back in laughter.
"You should've seen their faces, they looked like I'd run in naked. The way their jaws dropped, none of them knew what to say, then one of them stammered trying to get his tongue to work just to say "I think we should leave you to deal with… whatever this is all about". My father sat me down and that's when I slapped him and said "the voice also says that they are here". My poor father didn't know whether I was blessed or mad, my mother was an oracle and High Priestess before me, but her oracles were always wise and dramatic." She was still chuckling, barely restraining the urge to laugh, I was amazed she managed to finish.
"I can imagine Ever was not exactly an ideal voice to be whispering to a child… Wait, please don't tell me she made you make dirty comments." I tried to sit up and face her as I added the last bit, but she forced my head back to her stomach.
"She certainly didn't make me, she usually just giggled before telling me I'd get it when I was older. Of course, she rarely spoke at all, maybe once or twice a year back then. One time though, we were at a party and some foreign noble brat was pestering me. Suddenly she said "I hope the midwife slapped your mother after pulling you out". Daddy noticed the signs I was receiving the message and asked me to repeat the oracle and I couldn't help it, I was so fed up with the nuisance, I repeated what she said." She covered her face with her free hand, never stopping the stroking, then shook her head as I massaged the bridge of my nose.
"I know, the look on the boy's face was priceless, the look on his father's face threatened to turn me to stone. My dad didn't know what to do, he was the pope, like it or not a god had spoken. The poor boy attended just enough functions after that that no one would think he had been killed or mistreated and his father would avoid me like I was an angry monarclaw." She didn't stop covering her face, but spread her fingers just enough to peek at my reaction.
"I'm sorry, I clearly didn't teach her very well, but her mouth was infinitely more stubborn than the rest of her and the rest of her was pretty damn stubborn as well." I laughed, silently thanking Ever for giving her this story to share, then I rolled over halfway onto my side and wrapped an arm around her waist before slowly succumbing to the relaxed drowsiness that washed over me.