"Good morning, it's 8 a.m. on the weekend! Welcome everyone to the special program on Wizarding Wireless Network- 'Vampires, Muggles, Hogwarts Professors, and Magical Law!' I'm your host, the one and only Glidwyn Layton!"
"Whether you're riding your broomstick on your way to work or busy preparing breakfast at home, please make sure to hold tight to your broom handles and cooking utensils, because today we have two heavyweight guests joining us!"
"Hogwarts' Ancient Runes Professor, Bathsheda Babbling! And former Minister for Magic, Harold Minchum!"
"Say hello to our listeners, ladies and gentlemen!"
"Good morning, I'm Babbling, the Ancient Runes Professor at Hogwarts."
"And I'm the unemployed Harold Minchum."
"Ha! Don't joke around, Harold! We all know the Ministry would rehire you in a heartbeat as an expert consultant for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement if you wanted!"
"I'd rather not. Retirement suits me just fine."
"Alright, let's cut the banter short. I'm sure our listeners are eager to dive into today's topic… after all, everyone knows what we're discussing this morning! So, did any of you visit that farm last night?"
"I've been following The Quibbler's book from the start, so as soon as I finished the ending last night, I rushed to the scene and witnessed the moment when Sanguini and Patty shared their kiss."
"Oh! Professor Babbling us an eyewitness! That's fantastic! My colleagues tried to get there too, but they were a bunch of blundering idiots! It took them half an hour just to figure out where the Cotswolds were, and by the time they arrived, the flowers had already withered!"
"What about you, Harold?"
"I only learned about the whole thing after it was all over last night. My wife had subscriptions to all sorts of newspapers, and they came flooding into our house in the middle of the night."
"Living completely detached from the world… your life is enviable. But by now, you must have caught up on the whole story, right?"
"Yes, after receiving your invitation to join the program, I made sure to read the entire book beforehand."
"Then let's start with you, Harold. As a former Minister for Magic and Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, no one knows the legal texts better than you."
"Do you think that what Sanguini, Worple, and Snape did last night counts as surrendering?"
"I'd say it absolutely counts. In the end, the address revealed in The Quibbler was written by Worple, and they explicitly extended an invitation. When Scrimgeour arrived with the Aurors, they all voluntarily lowered their wands… oh, and more than that, the boy even put down his weapon. These are all classic signs of surrender."
"But..."
"But what? Do you have another perspective?"
"But the premise of surrender is that they must have committed actual crimes. Right now, our entire understanding of the incident comes from that book. For the sake of argument, let's assume everything written in it is true. If so, then the so-called poisoning case and Snape's alleged kidnapping are complete fabrications."
"Could you explain that in more detail, Harold?"
"Of course. According to the book, Sanguini and Worple's plan to give Patty the Draught of Living Death was done with the Muggle's consent, that's the first point. Secondly, the Draught of Living Death, even the enhanced version, isn't technically a poison, so the poisoning charge falls apart from the start."
"Then there's the kidnapping charge against Snape. Similar logic applies… for 'kidnapping' to hold up legally, the act must be against the victim's will. But the book makes it clear that Patty wanted to leave her home from the very beginning, and Sanguini promised to help her return. That means Snape's actions don't constitute kidnapping, let alone a crime."
"However, even if these two cases don't hold up, they could still be charged with other offenses."
"Oh? Other offenses?"
"Indeed. First, Sanguini and Worple admitted in the book that they stole the Draught of Living Death from Snape. If Snape chooses to press charges, that's theft. Then there's the fact that Sanguini was caught using magic in front of Patty initially, and later revealed so much about the Wizarding World to a Muggle… that violates the International Statute of Secrecy. But I've heard that last night, Patty accepted Sanguini's marriage proposal. Under magical law, they're now officially married, so whether the Wizengamot will pursue this further depends on the Chief Warlock's ruling."
"Additionally, regarding Snape taking Patty away… while it doesn't constitute kidnapping, it could still be considered obstruction of Auror's duties. I'm certain the Aurors will pursue that charge, after all, they've never been fond of the Head of Slytherin House."
"Haha! Harold, as sharp-tongued as ever!"
"But as Harold just mentioned, all his judgments are based on the assumption that the book's contents are entirely true. Right now, the biggest point of contention in the Wizarding World about [Blood Love: The Vampire and The Muggle] is its portrayal of Severus Snape!"
"The primary reason many believe the book is a complete fabrication is that anyone who's graduated from Hogwarts in recent years knows the Head of Slytherin House's reputation. Worple's depiction in the book is seen as excessively flattering… to the point of rewriting his entire character."
"And on this particular debate, Professor Babbling, as a Hogwarts' colleague, is the perfect person to weigh in! What's your take on Snape's situation?"
"Well, Professor Snape has indeed been exactly as the rumors suggest. He is not an easy man to get along with, and certainly nothing like the witty, gentlemanly, patient figure Worple describes in the book."
"So, Professor Babbling, are you saying Worple fabricated his portrayal? That he heavily embellished Snape's character?"
"No, I actually think he wrote the truth!"
"Wait, first of all, let's clarify for our listeners that Headmaster Albus Dumbledore has not influenced this interview in any way! Nor have we accepted bribes… Harold can vouch for that. Though, if Dumbledore were to bribe us, it'd probably just be sweets and butterbeer!"
"Apologies for interrupting. Please continue, Professor Babbling."
"I left Hogwarts Castle at the start of the summer, but even before this incident, I'd heard about the changes in Professor Snape from others!"
"Yes, today's papers show his new look, and honestly, the first time I saw him, I thought he was more striking than a five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. If you're listening, Gilderoy Lockhart, no offense intended."
"But it's not just his appearance. Since leaving Hogwarts Castle, everyone who's interacted with him has been stunned by the transformation."
"So you believe the book's contents, especially its depiction of Snape, are accurate, Professor Babbling?"
"Yes, I believe they're true!"
"And you can guarantee your words haven't been influenced by Dumbledore? That he didn't threaten you beforehand, saying you'd lose your job if you didn't speak this way?"
"I haven't been back to Hogwarts all summer! I can swear everything I've said is my own genuine opinion!"
"Well, that's excellent! Listeners, we'll continue analyzing and answering all your burning questions shortly!"
"But first… let's take a quick break for a word from our sponsors!"