The witch slept in her burrito form the whole day. She'd been floating and rotating 24/7. How was she not dizzy or disoriented? Well, she's the main character, after all.
"We recognize her~"
"It's the burrito witch~"
"She stinks and has disheveled hair~"
"We love you still, just bathe, you little witch!"
The sunflowers greeted their witch with a cheerful morning chant, though it was clear they were growing tired of her refusal to bathe.
But how were they even smelling her in the first place? Do sunflowers have noses?
Disclaimer: She does bathe, the sunflowers were merely bantering.
The witch did her gardening while still in burrito form. When she came outside, the blackened one was met with countless feathers, aftermath of the pigeon vs. raven skirmish.
All the feathers became sentient in her presence. The pigeon feathers and the raven feathers still held grudges against each other, and both sides retreated for now.
The pigeon feathers joined the tulips, they were their foot soldiers, while the raven feathers allied with the ever-growing mushroom army, alongside the wolf furs.
Soil War 1 might break out soon, and the witch couldn't care less about their petty fights. If she were asked for her opinion, it would always be:
"Let them fight."
A hum escaped her lips as she glided through the air, watering flowers and crops in her wake. The canisters grew wings just to keep up with the witch.
But something odd caught her attention, footprints around her soil, just outside the territory of the Blackened One.
She inspected them, and out of sheer frustration, gave life to the footprints.
"What is it you wanna know, dear witch?" the footprints spoke, with the voice of an average British butler.
The witch asked in earnest what creature these footprints came from. The footprints themselves confirmed: they were human...
Multiple humans.
In an instant, the footprints guided her to their fellows. And to her horror, the witch's heart sank.
"My brethren!!!"
She saw her potatoes, some missing, and others crushed by large footprints, probably caused by a very thick human named Big Chungus.
"Get her!" a voice called from the forest. Oddly, they had waited for the witch to come out, even though they could've just started burning the entire place.
"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS YOU WITCH!" Said a grumpy old man, the witch was confused, as she has no recollection of doing any harm.
As it turns out, an entire village's worth of men came with pitchforks and torches. But they were stopped halfway by the mushroom army, with the help of the fur army. The villagers were quite confused, some of them even started thinking they were high.
The villagers were quite amused that their target was a witch wrapped in a blanket like a burrito, floating in the air. The witch let out a noise—an "Eeek!" out of fear. Well, she wasn't in danger... she was the danger.
"Wahhawahahawa!" said the witch. I didn't understand it either, but it was clear she valued her personal space, especially as the villagers got nearer and nearer.
Without thinking, the witch, who saw multiple men approaching, uttered a spell:
"If men, why not women?"
And then poof! some of the villagers became maidens!
Them brothers turned to sisters. How tragic.
Being turned into maidens in an instant was probably an experience for some of the villagers. It didn't help that the witch made them too hot.
They were stunned by the sudden beauty of the other villagers. They stopped. Some even hesitated to continue toward the witch, in fear of being turned from James to Jessica.
But some still had the courage to finish what they came for, but the witch wasn't having it.
"You want thick thorny veins up your bum?! Then step closer, bozos!" she shouted. And it wasn't just a threat, she was sending a message of absolute violation.
The villagers finally retreated, some helping the former men on their knees to run away.
"Y-Y-You'll pay for this, you meanie witch!!" cried the grumpy old man, now gender-bended into a flustered YOUNG?! MAIDEN?, clutching his—no, her—SKIRT?! in outrage. Her cheeks were pink, her voice a pitch too HIGH?!, and her glare only half as threatening as before.
But the former old man only saw the burrito rotate with the facial expression ':3', spinning at the speed of light, enough to scare everyone into never stepping foot in this place ever again.
"They disturbed her peace~"
"They look at her eyes~"
"They didn't tell her the things they're blabbering behind her back~"
Sung by the sunflowers in victory, the song was oddly familiar, but the narrator may have amnesia and can't remember.
But the witch got lazier and commanded the sky to cry, watering every crop once again. Soon after, she commanded the seeds to freaking plant themselves in their rightful place.
The ruined soil fixed itself. The broken fences fixed themselves. Everything fixed itself. The leftover torches and pitchforks grew legs and started running off.
The Mushroom Kingdom and its allies made sure the villagers were okay. They're diplomatic, except when it's against the tulips, who did nothing and only watched as the Mushroom Kingdom did all the work, further straining their relationship.
Because of everything that had transpired, the witch started thinking about humans and how they viewed her. Was she evil in their mortal eyes? She just wanted to be left alone. She didn't show it, but our little witch was hurt.
But don't worry, all she needed was tea to ease the pain. The Mirror of Compliments floated closer, ready to offer comfort and kind words.
"Dear witch, despite not bathing, you still manage to smell wonderful... despite the grime and sweat on thy skin..."
"…huh…" The witch wasn't amused by the Mirror of Compliments' words. Her teacup even cracked from her grip, the offense cutting deep.
"This mirror…"
"Oh no—" the mirror said calmly, as screams from the Blackened One echoed. One could only imagine what vile things the witch did to the mirror.
Whatever you're thinking right now… that might be what happened. Do with that information as you will.
But one thing was clear: the witch planned to explore the outskirts of her territory tomorrow.
Chapter End.