"Whatever, I'll groom you, sure," said the witch, nonchalantly.
The wolf bowed his head. "Much delighted, dear witch." Then, through the portal he opened, numerous unpaid laborers began to pour out...
"Dear witch, as you may know, I treat my employees to the best working experience."
Suddenly, the wolf felt the urge to clarify.
Did he just hear the narrator's voice?
"But I didn't ask that, Mr. Beast." The witch's eyes were blank and unamused. Still, something interesting happened, though she'd seen this countless times.
Goblins. Lots of them. The laborers of Mr. Beast. Under any other circumstances, the witch would've incinerated them.
But these goblins were built differently.
Well-groomed hair. They're wearing black tuxedos. Even expensive silver watches and jewelry.
They have class, moving professionally as they carried the items toward the witch's property.
Each of them bowed the moment they passed the burrito witch.
"As you can see, dear witch, those working under me are treated with luxury. They're as loyal as ever.
"They have good insurance, a perfect retirement plan, and guaranteed health care..."
The witch was listening, but the wolf failed to consider one critical detail: the witch had never experienced a 9-to-5 j*b!
He might as well have been speaking a different language!
Our witch... she's... wondering. What is life insurance? Guaranteed health care? Retirement plan?
Her whole life is a retirement plan.
She didn't even retire. She was born retired!
What's a j*b?!
Eventually, the goblins finished their part, and all bowed to the witch majestically once again.
"Long live Adelaide Orlandei!" they chanted.
The witch smiled in her burrito form, her ego being stroked was always welcomed.
"Now, dear witch, may you... Groom me?"
"AUGH!" the witch groaned. Mr. Beast was eager to be groomed, as the witch was quite skilled with handling furballs.
Mr. Beast began to imagine how the witch would groom him. First, he pictured her brushing him, his tail wagging in the process.
"Like that, Mister Wolf?"
He barked, "Woof woof."
He could almost feel the enchanted golden hairdryer hitting his skin, his monocle fogging from the steam.
But even in his imagination, for some reason, he couldn't envision the witch using shampoo on him. All he saw was the witch bathing him in mud, with malevolent smile on her face.
"Mister Wolf, it's time to bury you."
He snapped out of it. The witch had made him hallucinate out of spite; she could see what he was thinking.
"Dog..." She said.
The witch snapped her fingers, and immediately Mr. Beast felt like he was drowning. In an instant, he was sent into a body of water, soaking him completely.
Without warning, he was teleported to a land with so much soap that it touched every part of the wolf's body.
And soon, the wolf found himself in a dimension where multiple brushes were eagerly waiting to touch him.
Everywhere.
He felt every scrub. On... every part. He whimpered. He said sorry multiple times.
...What am I narrating?
Mr. Beast truly believed he had died and been sent to the doggy afterlife.
After a while, the witch returned him to the treehouse, fully groomed and dried from head to toe.
Such an extreme method of grooming... she really was a professional.
"No more, dear witch! I've learned my lesson!" pleaded the wolf, who, despite being cleaned thoroughly, was traumatized by the whole ordeal.
"Do come back again next time, Mr. Beast," said the witch, her eyes glowing red with the utmost threatening demeanor.
"Why, of course! It is my calling to deliver goods to you!"
The witch smiled. She was upside down, burrito-style.
"Good dog—"
But something was wrong with the wolf.
"Dear witch, I no longer feel like a man!"
"Because you're not. I removed your jewels. You didn't even see the glitter scalpel, did you?"
"What glitter scalpel?!" asked Mr. Beast in a worried tone.
"…Exactly." The witch smiled again, mischievously.
Mr. Beast… his jewels were gone. He panicked.
How was he supposed to spread his genes on the streets now?!
The sunflowers sang a sad song:
"The doggy jewels are gone~"
"No more doggy child support~"
Mr. Beast howled, struggling to cope with the fact that he was no longer the man—er, wolf—he used to be.
The added frustration of being unable to retaliate, thanks to the witch's overwhelming power, only made it worse.
He considered begging her to return his jewels.
But deep down, he knew, the lazy, bored witch would only find amusement in his suffering.
I almost feel bad for Mr. Wolf.
...Almost...
...Not really...
But then, the witch laughed.
Her laughter echoed through the entire forest. Animals mutated. And distant villagers turned their heads, running for their lives.
It was not the soft, sleepy giggle of the witch we knew.
No! This was evil. Maniacal and Unhinged.
Multiple frogs exploded, dying from the sound of her voice.
The flock of pigeons and ravens circling above The Blackened One suddenly grew biceps for wings and started beating each other mid-air.
The Mushroom Kingdom and the Army of Wolf Fur retreated into hiding, while the tulips, usually rude and rowdy, began contemplating turning over a new leaf. Literally.
While the sunflowers... Started producing Suns?
"Oh~ Mister Wolf," she cooed, her voice dripping with mischief.
"I didn't take your jewels. They're still there~"
She floated lazily in the air, still wrapped burrito-style, slowly rotating counterclockwise.
Was it a prank? Can it even be called that?
Mister Wolf was violated—both physically and mentally!
But there's nothing we can do...
MrBeast was deeply embarrassed, but tried to compose himself and salvage whatever dignity he had left.
"Ahaha! Dear witch, there's never a dull moment with you!"
Deep down, he was just relieved that he could still spread his genes onto the streets.
Mr. Beast was glad the eventful night was over. He dreaded the next time he'd have to visit the witch, but at least, he had grown a bit more courageous.
But one thing was for sure: the witch's laughter had alerted the village. They were beginning to take action.
Although realistically… what could they do against the Burrito Witch?
That wasn't even her final form.
Chapter End.