Hokage Building
Fugaku's POV
I stand outside the Hokage's office, waiting to be called in, holding the 300,000 Ryo check Mikoto pried from her sister. All for "emotional damages," apparently.
Emotional damages, my ass. This is clearly bribery.
As I grumble about how the money could've been better used—new equipment for the clan, better training for the clan promising children—I hear the Hokage's voice.
"Ah, Fugaku, come in."
I open the door, expecting to see the Hokage and his usual band of useless advisors.
Well… not all of them are useless. Danzo is somewhat capable—if you ignore his hate boner for my clan and the fact that we all want to kill him and scatter his ashes across the continent. But still. Somewhat capable.
With the door open and me walking in, I see the unexpected: the three Sannin—Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and of course Tsunade, the main victim of the Reika incident. Or I suppose she's better known as Cowunade now, judging by the chatter on my way here. The rumors have already spread like wildfire, each more ridiculous than the last.
Some say she was mooing like a cow as part of a jutsu test. Others claim she lost a bet with Jiraiya and was forced to moo for a day. Another theory is that Orochimaru whipped up some potion that made her act like a farm animal. And, of course, the fan-favorite among the men is that she wore a cow-print bikini and mooed for attention—because she's thirty and desperate to get married.
I suppress the smirk creeping onto my face just thinking about these absurd rumors. I greet the Sannin, and they return the gesture. I nod to the advisors and finally the Hokage. No Danzo in sight.
Good. Dealing with Danzo is a pain in the ass. The longer he stays away from me, the longer the Sage blesses me with peace.
I glance at the Hokage and smile, holding back my urge to vomit from the words I'm about to say.
"Lord Danzo isn't present tonight?"
The Hokage, puffing on his pipe, gives me a warm smile. "No. My old friend had an unfortunate accident while performing a service for the village. He's currently in the hospital receiving treatment."
Danzo? Suffering an accident? Please. That coward wouldn't suffer anything unless it involved tripping over his own cloak while running from accountability. The man hides in the shadows like a rat and plots like one too.
Tsunade suddenly chokes on a sip of tea.
I glance her way—and everything clicks.
Most likely, Danzo opened his mouth about Reika, and Tsunade responded with her fists.
"Lady Tsunade, are you alright?"
She waves a hand. "No, no. Just thought of something funny."
I nod and decide to test my theory. "By the way, you've got some blood on your knuckles."
She looks down, muttering, "Huh. I thought I wiped it on the sofa."
After inspecting her hands and finding them clean, she gives me a suspicious look.
"Ah, my mistake. I must be seeing things. It's been a long day—maybe my vision's a bit off."
An Uchiha with a three-tomoe Sharingan having bad vision. That's like saying a Hyūga makes a bad sensors.
The other Sannin chuckle. They know I've figured out what happened to Danzo.
I turn back to the Hokage and give him a smirk that says exactly what I'm thinking:
Yeah, I'm not buying your bullshit, old man.
The Hokage coughs into his hand, trying to cover the fact I caught his lie.
"Fugaku, what brings you here? Is this about the incident between Tsunade and Reika?"
I take a deep breath. Focus. I'm here as clan leader—not to call out the Hokage's blatant cover-up.
"Yes. I'm terribly sorry about the situation. I didn't realize that a simple outing with my wife, Reika, and her son would result in... this." I hold up the check. "I've come to deliver Reika's apology—for any emotional and physical damages caused."
I hand the check to the Hokage.
As soon as it touches his fingers, I can see his eyes light up like a kid got A rank justu for there birthday. The advisors lean in, gazing at the check like it holds the secret to immortality.
Greedy bastards. I wonder what the Second Hokage would say if he saw how far his students had fallen. Probably roll over in his grave.
The Third puts on a smile like he just walked in on his wife in lingerie and enthusiastically shakes my hand.
"Ah! Reika truly embodies the Will of Fire. Such a generous donation to aid the victims—she is a shining example of Konoha's spirit."
Bullshit.
I force a smile. "I agree. She truly has the village in her heart."
He releases my hand and sits back down.
"Tell Reika her generosity is appreciated. This should put the matter to rest."
Generosity toward your clan's piggy bank is more like it.
"Of course, Lord Hokage. I'll be sure to deliver your exact words."
As I turn to leave, Tsunade steps in front of me.
I raise an eyebrow. "Can I help you, Lady Tsunade?"
She eyes me for a moment, like she's trying to see through my skull.
"There are three things I'd like to ask you. I'd appreciate your honesty."
I nod. "Of course. I'm happy to help."
She smiles. "Good. First question: Do you know what kind of genjutsu Reika used on me?"
The air suddenly grows tense.
Why the tension? It was just a powerful genjutsu. Unless... they suspect she has the Mangekyō? Trying to gauge what I know? Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me. Her talent is absurd. And I've heard she's studied the clan's dōjutsu in-depth.
I smile politely. "Unfortunately, I don't. My duties as clan leader and police chief keep me busy. I don't see Reika often. But if you want to know more about genjutsu—or ways to counter it—I'd suggest her teammate, Daigo. He's a genjutsu specialist."
She nods. "I'll speak with him. Now for my second question—do you know anything about Reika's husband? Seen him around? Heard anything?"
"Huh? Why do you want to know about your rival's husband? No offense, Lady Tsunade, but that's... a bit suspicious."
Her eye twitches. "Are you questioning my moral character?"
Yes.
I keep my smile. "Of course not. Just saying it sounds a little odd."
Before she can blow up, Jiraiya steps in.
"What Tsunade means is—Reika's husband had amazing food ideas. That pizza he made? Incredible. We were just wondering if any new dishes are on the horizon."
I don't buy it. But it's believable. The food is amazing. The milkshakes? A gift from heaven.
"I don't know much about him beyond the basics. My wife hasn't said anything either. But I do know it's a sore subject for Reika. Also, as clan leader... he's not exactly well-liked in the Uchiha. So I try not to think about him."
Jiraiya laughs and waves a hand. "That's fine. My summons just wanted to know if there'd be new food."
Can toads even eat pizza?
"If you want, talk to my wife. I'm sure she'll pass the message along."
He scratches his head. "Nah. Don't want to bother Reika."
He just doesn't want a beating. Smart man.
I look back at Tsunade. "And your final question?"
She takes a deep breath, face dead serious. The room tightens—Jiraiya and Orochimaru tense up, even the Hokage stops smoking.
"My last question is something I need to know, Fugaku!"
What the hell is she about to ask? How to beat Reika in a fight? How to land a man? Better gambling tips?
"Fugaku! Did Reika give you a personal check for me!?"
"…Huh?"
She thrusts her hand forward. "Didn't she give you a separate check? 200,000 Ryo? Maybe 250,000? If it's less than 100k, don't expect forgiveness!"
I rub my temples.
Right. I forgot. She's not just a bad gambler—she's cursed.
I sigh and smile. "I'm sure the check I gave the Hokage includes your compensation. Whatever you two decide is between you."
Her eyes light up as she turns toward the Hokage like a hungry predator.
Time to leave.
Just as I reach the exit, I remember something an officer told me on my way here.
I turn. "Lady Tsunade."
She glances back, distracted as the Hokage tries to push her away from the check.
"I received a report from one of my officers who was at the scene of your... confrontation with Reika."
I take a breath.
"There was a cameraman there—testing a new high-res camera with enhanced zoom and color filters. He captured pictures of your... behavior."
The room, once tense, now feels frozen.
"And he's already developed and started selling them underground. He's made nearly 100,000 Ryo in profit in a few hours. Most buyers are men. We've confiscated a few for evidence—but we don't yet know how many are in circulation. Or his identity."
I glance at Jiraiya. "And no, Jiraiya, you may not help with the investigation."
He pouts. "Fine."
I open the door. Just before I close it, I see Tsunade's face turn red with rage.
If I didn't know better, I'd say she's training in Steam Release Jutsu.
I walk out the building and hear a voice that would terrify even the bravest soul in their sleep.
"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, REIKA! I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU!"
A window shatters behind me, and something is launched into the night.
I activate my Sharingan to get a clearer view.
Huh. Looks like the Hokage will need a new sofa. That thing's already past the village gates.
And just like that, night falls. The moon is high. And tomorrow, some poor fool will wonder why there's a broken couch in the middle of the road—or the forest.
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