KonohaIzakaya
In a high-class izakaya, various patrons were engaged in conversations, laughter, and the clinking of dishes filled with delicious food. But among the shinobi in the know—those who had either witnessed the event or heard from a friend who had—attention was focused on one particular private booth.
A booth that housed the Legendary Sannin.
Ordinarily, such a gathering would inspire awe and reverence. But tonight, the focus wasn't on their legendary deeds. No—today, a single topic dominated the whispers of hardened assassins and nosy villagers alike.
"Cow Tsunade… or Cowunade."
Those present couldn't help but picture the infamous buxom blonde, her face twisted with shame and fury. Her misery was legend now, especially among those brave—or foolish—enough to mention it in her presence.
With the booth sealed off by privacy seals, no sound escaped. But outside? The speculation was rampant.
"Damn, I wish I was there… with a camera."
Private Booth, Izakaya
Inside the booth sat three individuals: lifelong friends, comrades-in-arms, and students of the Third Hokage.
One sipped his sake with noble grace.
One tried to calm down his volatile crush.
And the last?
The last chugged bottle after bottle, cursing a certain woman and her entire ancestral line calling her a vile spawn.
Orochimaru's POV
Amusing.
Watching one of my teammates spiral over a genjutsu is deeply satisfying.
Jiraiya patted Tsunade's back as she drowned her misery in sake, mumbling about her shattered reputation.
"Tsunade, it's not that bad! People will forget soon. They'll focus on your achievements as a medical ninja again!"
"Shut up, Jiraiya!" she snapped. "I mooed in the middle of the shopping district on all fours! In front of dozens of people! And Reika had her Sharingan active—the bitch will never let me live this down! My life is ruined!"
I quietly sipped my drink, curiosity swirling in my mind.
How did Reika do it? A three-tomoe Sharingan shouldn't have held Tsunade for more than five seconds—ten, if she was off her game. But Reika's genjutsu lasted four minutes. Neither I nor Jiraiya could dispel it.
Reika wasn't even a genjutsu specialist. She used it more for amusement than serious combat.
Interesting.
"Tsunade," I asked, "do you plan to get revenge or admit defeat?"
She slammed the bottle down and locked eyes with me. "Admit defeat? Never! I'll humiliate that arrogant bitch like she humiliated me. Or my name isn't Tsunade Senju!"
It isn't. It's Cownade Senju at this point.
...Wisely, I kept that thought to myself. No need for a punch to the spleen.
"So, what's your plan?" I asked aloud. "By all accounts, she's stronger than you. Especially with that genjutsu. Unless you plan to avoid her gaze for hours in battle, you're doomed to relive your farmyard days."
Tsunade deflated like a balloon. "I don't know. Three years ago, I thought I finally surpassed her. She was a mother, staying home not doing missions outside the village... I figured her skills would decline. But she's stronger than ever! Damn it, why can't our Senju clan produce monsters like the Uchiha?"
"Same reason your clan's nearly extinct. No one has reached the level of Hashirama or Tobirama in generations."
I poured another drink and looked at her. "Still... I see three ways you might beat Reika. But it'll depend entirely on your effort."
Her eyes lit up like I had just offered her a billion Ryo. She grabbed my shoulder and shook me. "Really!? Orochimaru, if you're lying I beat you to next week!"
"That would be terrifying if you weren't drunk and I wasn't a master of escape techniques," I replied coolly.
Jiraiya decided to jump in. "Don't listen to him! Anything he suggests will be ridiculous or extreme! I, however, have a great plan."
I turned to him like I'd just seen the sun rise in the west. "You? Intelligent thought? Please. Your brain's stuffed with toads and women."
Jiraiya glared. "Hmph! You just can't recognize genius. That's why I'm considered the best-looking and smartest of the Sannin!"
Ah. So his idea is probably perverted.
I waved him on. "Alright. Let's hear your brilliance. But if it's lewd, I won't save you when Tsunade sends you to the hospital again."
Jiraiya started sweating like he was in Suna. "It's not perverted, it's... enlightenment! A competition between two powerful beautiful kunoichi. I'll be the judge. With two others. And the whole village will see who truly reigns supreme."
Tsunade raised a brow. "So? What is it?"
Jiraiya grinned proudly. "A bikini contest!"
Before he could elaborate, Tsunade grabbed him and pummeled his face into something less human.
He collapsed into his steaming bowl of soup.
"That soup's known for being scalding," I muttered. "He's going to feel that."
Tsunade folded her arms. "Let him suffer. Fool wanted to see me half-naked for his trashy books. And involving Reika too? Idiot doesn't value his life."
"Indeed," I said. "Sarutobi-sensei would struggle to stop her from incinerating him or his balls if she heard that."
Minutes passed. Jiraiya woke up screamed and ran to the restroom, face red from heat and fists.
When he returned, he was a bruised, steaming mess.
"So," I asked, "what did we learn?"
"Shut up, Orochimaru! It was a good idea!"
Tsunade shot him a glare.
"I mean—a terrible idea! Must've been the alcohol!"
She sighed. "Okay. I feel better now. Time to hit the casino and win big!"
"With your luck, I'd sooner believe Jiraiya would give up women."
Tsunade scoffed. "Alright, your turn. Let's hear your plan. It can't be worse than his."
I smirked. Jiraiya looked crushed. I could practically see his fantasy of Tsunade and Reika in bikinis crumbling to dust.
"First, a favor," I said. " Can you please review your granduncle's notes on the Sharingan. I suspect Reika's sharingan genjutsu was different somehow. I'll like to see his notes might mention something"
Tsunade rubbed her temples. "There's no need. I already have a theory."
We both leaned in.
"Well?" I asked.
Jiraiya nodded, surprisingly serious. "Yeah, I'm curious too."
"You two are way too eager," Tsunade muttered. "But fine."
She glanced at Jiraiya. "Put up another silence barrier just in case."
With a few hand signs, he sealed the booth.
Tsunade stirred her drink solemnly. "Reika might have the Mangekyō Sharingan."
Jiraiya and I froze.
"Mangekyō Sharingan?" I echoed.
"It's an evolved form of the Sharingan," Tsunade explained. "Enhances all normal Sharingan abilities exponentially. Enough to terrify Kage-level shinobi."
"Fascinating," I whispered. "And the requirement to activate it ?"
"Sorrow," she said flatly.
We blinked.
"That's it?"
Tsunade nodded. "To awaken the Mangekyō, an Uchiha must experience soul-shattering sorrow. Like watching a loved one die... or worse."
The booth fell silent.
We each thought of someone precious. For her and me... likely Nawaki.
"If I was Uchiha would I have awaken the Mangekyo Sharingan from seeing Nawaki death in front of me? No I definitely would have."
"It also comes with three sometimes absurd powers," she continued. "Two unique to the user—no two are the same. And the third…"
I leaned in. "What is it?"
"Susanoo. A giant chakra construct. Sword usually, sometimes other weapons may manifest. Big enough to rival bijuu and capable of beating them into submission."
I whistled. "So that's what Madara used."
"Exactly. My granduncle studied it endlessly, fearing another Madara would rise. That's why he was so wary of the Uchiha and made policies against them."
Jiraiya frowned. "But if it's that strong, why hasn't anyone else used it recently?"
"Because of the cost and requirement to awaken it," Tsunade said. "The Mangekyō slowly makes the user go blind. No known cure."
I nodded. "So... why do you suspect Reika has it?"
"That's the weird part," Tsunade said. "She's had no recent trauma. Her father died long ago due to old injuries in the first war, her sister alive, her husband's just on traveling business... nothing fits. But no genjutsu created for amusement should've lasted that long on me. That power had to come from the Mangekyō."
We fell silent again.
Jiraiya scratched his chin. "If that's true… what are you going to do?"
I smirked. "Well. I promised three ideas, didn't I?"
Tsunade perked up. "Right. The first?"
"Try to awaken Wood Release. Hashirama used it to defeat Madara."
Tsunade shook her head. "Too risky. Too many died trying. Even the experiments were shut down for how difficult it is ."
"Fair enough. Second option—learn Sage Mode. The overall boost might give you an edge."
She tapped her lip, thoughtful. "Maybe. What's the last one?"
I prepared my escape techniques—just in case.
"This last one is unconventional. Not powerful, but guaranteed to humiliate Reika."
Tsunade leaned in. "Go on."
I sipped my drink. "You remember her son?"
"The cute brat who called me 'Cow Lady'? Yeah."
Jiraiya's eyes widened.
"Orochimaru, no—"
"Shut up, Jiraiya. Let me finish."
Tsunade eyed us suspiciously. "Spit it out already."
"Seduce her son."
Tsunade spat her drink across the booth.
Jiraiya shrieked. "I knew it! You want her to become a cougar!"
Tsunade wiped her mouth. "You've got one minute before I punch you into the next district."
"Think about it," I said calmly. "Reika's pride? Her son? If he fell for you, she'd lose her mind."
Tsunade blinked… then chuckled.
"Ha! She'd explode! I could walk in with a transformation jutsu, fake being pregnant with her kid, and watch her faint!"
Jiraiya looked horrified. "You're not seriously considering it!?"
"Of course not," she laughed. "But the look on her face would be priceless."
I added, "Her husband is handsome as well. The kid will grow up well so it wouldn't be a loss for you."
Tsunade blushed. "He was... very handsome."
Jiraiya groaned. "Don't remind me. Every woman in the village swooned. Even married ones. Even... Sensei's wife."
"Yeah," I smirked. "He was this close to thinking Asuma wasn't his."
With a sigh, I stood. "I've given you three options. Use them as you see fit."
Just then, an ANBU in a bear mask appeared.
"Lord Third requests your presence. It's about the Reika incident. He wants firsthand accounts."
We exchanged looks.
"Yep. Sensei's panicking about her possible Mangekyō."
I nodded. "We'll be there soon."
The ANBU vanished.
Tsunade/Orochimaru: "Jiraiya, you're paying!"
Jiraiya stared at the pile of empty dishes and expensive sake bottles.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
(Images here):