It was warm, as if it was home. Sara felt her hair scattered over her face. As she gradually opens her eyes.
"The hell?."
Sara was quite surprised. She remembered the roof as she looked at her surroundings. It was none other than her own room. Blue walls, a computer desk on corner of room.
She gets up from her bed. Confused what had happened just now?.
~ Where was I?. Is this earth?. How am I here?.
She gets up, a werid feeling was emerging in her chest. As if something bad is about to happen. Nevertheless, she looked at the clock beside her on computer desk. It was 06:56 am. She looked on her side where a calendar was hanging. It was pointed with blue pencil that today was 23 February 2018. The day when she was born, her birthday.
~ Huh?. Same year?.
Sara was quite startled. Nevertheless, in excitement, she forgot everything and goes to fresh herself up, moments later. She had worn a dark-green dress.
Despite this, it was strange. She couldn't find her phone. Yet now she finally goes out of her room.
"Mom!."
She shouted in excitement, looking for her mother. After all hurry, she managed to find her mom, wearing a apron cooking in the kitchen, bantering with her friend while stirring the pot. It was laughs and banter.
Sara gave a warm smile while looking at her mother from behind. She goes to her and tried to embrace her. Her arms slipped through her mother. As if she was never there. Maybe just a ghost of her lingering in her house.
"Mom!"
She yelled to her mother even tried to shake her but her hands slipped through her mother's body, cooking as if she can't hear daughter screams.
Sara stunned, streaming in sweat as she rubbed her face as she leaned to the wall.
~ What is happening?. Is this a dream?. If it is then please end now.
She fell to her knees, then glare at her mother who was having a breakfast on dining table all alone. She had to remind they weren't alone. They were together yet she can't. She just can't. Her eyes filled with tears. As she rubbed them vigorously.
~ J– Just end..
Her mother ahad done her breakfast now, head for her room then came with her office suit. Put her keys in her clutch then started heading for the main door.
Sara with all her might runs towards her. She was going to collide with small drawers in her way while sprinting, yet when she touched them. She passed through them. Surprised, she didn't care and try to grab her mom's hair as she opened the main door. She grabbed the hair but it passed through, she passed through, like a ghost.
SLAM!
Sara fell to the floor. Hairs scattered over her face. Weridly, age head for her mother's room. It was locked like usually, but she passed through the door.
In her mother's room she tried to look for the album of her and her mother which was on side table. Yet now, it wasn't there. Not just that, she looked everywhere, the cabinets, the drawers, everywhere, wretching the whole room.
In middle of the room, after seeing all the reports and documents. She couldn't even her birth certificate.
~ It's about to end.
She smile, thinking as if it would end. Yet she started to clean the room and put everything in place like before.
Now she headed outside. Looking everywhere, she sighs.
~ Why wouldn't it end?.
Nevertheless she travel down stairs, many people in her away. Some even passed through her. No one, no one was able to tell if she exist or not.
~ Maybe I should go to them.
A sudden flush came in her face. As she started heading for her friends.
Moments later..
In noisy, crowdy streets. After traveling so much, she hadn't feel a single twitch in her legs as if she had never ending stamina, or maybe she was a ghost.
While passing through a restaurant. Her eyes reflectively glanced on it, she froze.
Looking at her friends bantering with each other. All of them even Misha. Strangely she had dark brown hairs, making Sara lost in her thoughts. As she remembered.
~ It's because of her.
She remembered now what had happened to her. Witnessing Misha awaken with her new form and darkness was on her sight.
Sara passed through restaurant walls, even people. Going towards them.
"Hey!."
She exclaimed but no one catches her words. She tput her hand over Zack's shoulder but it slipped through, then she starred at Ender's face for few moments, yet he didn't have a single sign of unease. With that she tried to punch him but as usual. It passed through him as well.
One of the chairs was empty between the group as Sara sat on it. Hoping that they would saw her. Hoping that they would talk about her. Yet they banter and banter. Not even a single word of Sara was slipped from their tongues. Sara clenched her head, her face down. It was moment that Ender ordered the bill.
"Don't go!."
She screamed but no one listened to her. As she leaned to her chair.
~ Why?..
Tears streamed from her face.
~ I wanna go home..
She rubbed her tears as Misha was sitting beside her, bantering with Zack. She closed her eyes and subconsciously tried to leaned over Misha's shoulder. Yet this time. She leaned to her. Surprised and stunned, she rubbed and opened her eyes again. Her face shocked.
There was nothing now. Just a white place. She was sitting on white place. She could feel Misha's warm. As she glanced at her. Misha who had closed her eyes as she sighs.
"I also had the same time."
She murmured to Sara. But Sara wasn't scared of her or anything. She just place her head to her lap.
"W– Why?. Why were you scared?."
She murmured to Sara as she gulped her throat.
"I was scared. I thought I lost. Lost the world."
"Who is your world then?."
"All of you. Each one is a star shining in my darkness."
"But I don't have any."
Misha mumbled.
"No.."
She turned her face towards Misha who had a unreadable expression. Her amber eyes had slight warm over them.
"You have us, we are for you."
"Do you think you don't exist?. When you leaned to me. You fell joy. Didn't you?. I tried to find joy in my entire life. Yet.."
Her expression frowned.
"The joy didn't even came from my own blood."
A tear streamed on her cheek. As Sara gets up and rubbed the tear gently over her cheek.
"Was I not enough?."
Sara said with pleaded face. Hearing this, Misha eyes widen as she looked at her. Both face to face.
"Was Zack not enough?. Was Ender not enough?. Were we all not enough to make you understand... That you matter to us.."
Misha eyes startled as she gets lost in her thoughts. For the first time.
~ Do I matter?. Is this question solved now?.
As Sara embrace her, her warmth surprised her.
~ Maybe I do.. Matter to someone..
As she embrace her willingly. A warm smile as she shed tears.
***
Misha child hood was neither hard or challenging. She had good grades but wasn't good in all subjects. With this many students were better than her in all specific subjects, one by one. Misha always tried hard enough. In all her subjects So that she could good marks. But there wasn't a single moment where she can, she doesn't want to get marks because she wanted it. It was because she wanted to make father happy. So they he could knew her daughter mattered to her. Yet she can't and his father don't even think about her.
In classroom. She doesn't have any friends neither as she sometimes gets bullied by other girls. Sometimes, she came home with ink and pencils over her uniform. Her mother despite of taking care and asking why it happened?. Slapped her badly and told her to go her room.
In whether instance she always found herself alone. No one understand her, then a werid to her mind one day.
~ Maybe only I'm real traveling on the void. Others are just my imagination. Maybe I'm so alone. That my mind imagine them.. But what?. It doesn't change the fact that I'm alone in this void. Traveling endlessly..
The day in her college life, when she for the first time meet her friends, accidentally. Was this an accident?. Some says, accidents never happened.
"Are you okay ma'am?."
Ender said to her when he together with Ruis and Zack saved her. The blood was still dripping from Ender's arm yet he still asked. His flushed when he first glance on her made her thought. For the first time in her life, she feel as if she mattered.
"No. Is this a dream?. Is this fantasy?."
She couldn't sleep that night. The question marked her very existence.
***
Now for the first time, she finally concluded.
~ I matter...
The room became bright. As Sara could felt her eyes. She opened them to saw herself laying on the ground. Seeing Leon chatting with Lisa on chairs within a distance, eating something delightly. Her vision was quite blurred yet, with all her might,she moved her arms and gets up. Her scythe was laying infront of her.
Leon glaze glanced over her as he looked her with amazement. Lisa seeing him glance where he was looking, for only to have same reaction as him.
"What?."
Sara said with confusion, scratching her messy hair as she started to adjust it. It wasn't a while as she glimpse over Misha who was on her knees, her eyes closed. She saw her friends laying on the ground as well.
She reflexively steps towards her but Leon snapped his finger and command her to come towards them. Confused, Sara grabs the scythe from the ground and walked towards them.
"What's happening?."
She came towards them and sat on the nearby chair. Lisa offered her some cookies as she picked one up, crunching it vigorously.
"How do you came back?. It's not possible until you're strong enough or prepared. Which you aren't. Don't tell me.. Did she leave you by her own?."
Leon intrigued with his curious eyes, Lisa was also looking forward at her to know the answer.
"Well.. I don't remember but maybe you can say. She leave me.. Maybe.."
Sara shrugged, her scythe leaning to the side of her chair.
"Well.. I don't know what to say but you are quite lucky. Right Lisa?."
He looked at her with his usual smirked.
"Yeah."
She mumbled.
***
"Aragh!."
Ruis screamed, his one eye pop and blood was sprayed over his face. Misha was taking his intestines out, slowly and slowly to make him more pain than ever.
"J– Just.. Kill me."
He murmurs, as Misha wiped her bloody hands by his coat.
"Why are you scared?."
She starred at him as he coughs blood in pain.
"I'm not scared. It hurts."
"No. You're scared. You're scared of death. Why are you so scared?."
Ruis was stunned yet he mumbled.
"I have died seven times this day."
"Still scared."
Misha said with a smile.
"Kill me."
Ruis sighs.
"Then die. But this isn't your end."
She said with a smirked. As she strucked her knife onto his throat. Ending him there. Ruis again found himself in darkness, as he felt his eyes and opened them. Founding himself near the cube, but it wasn't there.
As he heard the ai voice.
"You have cleared the all the stages. You can now go to the exit door."
He fell down, collapsed, still feeling his intestines getting thrown out of him, like noddles. He split, his whole body trembling.
~ Just one more time.
"The hunter will continue it's hunt in 15 seconds."
As Ruis sprint towards the exit door. Even though the phantom pain was screaming everywhere in his body.