How?
When?
Why?
These three words kept running in my mind. Dave, till yesterday, seemed to be fine, but today he was in a serious situation. I was still in my thoughts, trying to figure out what would have happened to him.
What has triggered him that his situation has become dire?
I tried to remember the time when we first met, which was yesterday. Trying to recall everything when my whole body turned cold.
The scene started to film in front of my eyes. The time when his whole persona changed was when I talked about our past.
Could it be that after our talk and that kiss...he tried to forcefully remember something?
Oh god! Why did I give in to that kiss? Why did I even go down to meet him?
The guilt started to drown me.
I gripped the edge of the table, trying to steady myself, but my legs felt weak.
I shouldn't have gone. I shouldn't have said those things. And definitely, I shouldn't have kissed him back.
What was I thinking?
I closed my eyes, trying to shut down the wave of thoughts crashing into me all at once. But it was no use as the pain and guilt increased in my heart.
The way he looked at me… like he was desperate to remember something, anything. Maybe he was already at his limit, and I just pushed him further.
I bit my lip hard, trying to stop the sting in my chest from turning into tears. "I'm such an idiot," I whispered to myself. I wanted to slap myself so hard. How could I act so recklessly?
His memory faded away, but not mine. I remembered everything then, why did I not stop him, myself...us.
Just then, Grandpa's voice echoed again through the phone, "Dear, are you still there?"
His voice broke my trance, pulling me out of reality. Wiping the corner of my eye, I tried to scramble some words, "Y-Yeah… Grandpa, please tell me what happened. Is he alright?"
There was a pause. A long, heavy pause that made my heart pound louder in my ears.
"He collapsed last night," he finally said, and I felt like someone had just yanked the floor from under me.
"What?!"
"He was found unconscious in the study. They said it looked like a seizure… or a breakdown. The doctors are still running tests, but… they think it was triggered by mental trauma."
I couldn't breathe. My throat tightened as the words hit me like a punch in the gut.
Mental trauma.
God… why are you doing this to me?
"Dear, can you come here now?" His pleading made me feel like a freaking criminal. The guilt increased too much as if someone stabbed me in my chest.
I swallowed the lump rising in my throat. My hand clutched the phone so tightly, my knuckles turned white.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to run back in time and undo everything. But reality doesn't work that way.
On one hand, wishes are meant to be sweet, while on the other hand, reality was bitter.
But no matter how bitter and painful the truth is, I have to face it.
Escaping was not the option.
"Y-Yes... I'm coming," I managed to whisper out, even though my voice barely held together, but the determination underneath started to rise.
I didn't wait for him to say anything more. I cut the call and just sat there for a second, numb. My eyes burned, but I blinked the tears back.
There was no time for a breakdown now. Not when he was the one suffering.
I grabbed my keys, my bag, and honestly, I wasn't even sure what I stuffed in it. Whatever came into my hand, I pushed it into the bag and rushed out of the door.
The whole way, my mind refused to calm down. One moment, I was worried sick. The next time, I was angry at myself. Then scared. So damn scared.
What if he didn't wake up?
What if… he forgot everything again?
What if he remembered too much?
What if I were the trigger?
The ride felt like an eternity, even though I kept asking the driver to go faster. Every red light made me more eager. Every second I wasn't by his side was another second of helplessness.
As soon as I reached the hospital, I nearly jumped out before the car fully stopped.
I ran past the reception, barely glancing at the nurse who tried to stop me. My only focus was Grandpa's voice from the call and Dave's face flashing in my mind.
The guards near them stopped me midway. "Let me go," I shouted, trying to push them through, but they were too strong to move an inch.
"I need to see him! Let me go!" I cried out again, my voice cracking from desperation. My hands kept hitting their arms, weakly, pathetically, but I didn't care. I just needed to get past them.
"Ma'am, please calm down..." One of them tried to stop me, but I wasn't listening.
"Calm down?! He's in there! I need to be with him!" I screamed, feeling the panic rise like a storm inside me. I didn't even realize how loud I'd gotten until a figure from the other side came running over.
"What's going on?" The voice seemed familiar. Too familiar. I looked up and spotted Josh. Hope flickered through my eyes as I called him out, waving my hand, "Josh, here. It's me. Elena."
I could not care less what other people would think of me. "Josh, please help me."
"Elena. Thank God, you are here." He sighed, and the next second, his expression hardened as his gaze focused on the guards who were still blocking my way.
He folded his arms on his chest as he ordered in a stern voice, " Let her in." The guards immediately got away as I passed through them.
The moment I got to him, I asked hurriedly, "How is he? Is he okay?.." I wanted to ask more when Josh interrupted and answered, "The doctors are examining him. In a few minutes, we will get some updates."