In order to avoid being dragged into the chaos, he instinctively stepped back a few paces. Now was the perfect time to pretend to make small talk with Uncle Kitahara.
Wait a second!
Uncle Kitahara, what the hell are you doing?!
At some point, Iori's dad had quietly approached the two perverts.
As the innkeeper, he had a duty to figure out why the guests had suddenly passed out. This was a matter that could affect the inn's reputation!
And then… he really did discover something suspicious!
A familiar-looking handkerchief.
He picked it up and gave it a sniff. With his seasoned experience, he immediately recognized it—it was a drugged handkerchief. And he could swear he'd seen this color before… with Shiori!
A handkerchief?!
Drugged?!
Shiori?!
It seemed Iori's dad had just connected the dots.
He looked up.
And what he saw was Shiori's sweet, smiling face... and Kamashiro Shirou in the distance, silently praying for him.
"…?"
Thud!
Gotta say, Shiori's concoction was seriously potent—within three seconds, her old man was out cold.
"Huh? What happened to Dad? Why'd he suddenly pass out too?"
The ever-dense Iori didn't suspect his little sister in the slightest.
And really, why would he? In his mind, Shiori was just your typical Yamato Nadeshiko airhead—couldn't even figure out how to use a phone.
"Hmm, maybe he was just exhausted from the day~"
Said with the straightest face ever!
Shiori lied without flinching—still wearing that angelic smile~
Except when she looked at Kamashiro Shirou, her eyes were sharp and full of warning:
'See? This is what happens if you don't behave.'
{{(°△°;"}}
Kamashiro, terrified, quickly mimed zipping his lips shut.
No way was he risking getting knocked out cold and waking up tomorrow morning…
Especially not with Kitahara and Kohei still around…
And those two other wild beasts whose "tastes" were still unknown!
"Well, if Dad's that tired, we should just let him rest," Iori said casually, smiling at the sight of his father drooling in his sleep. It'd been a while since he'd seen the old man sleep so peacefully.
(???)
Off to the side, Kamashiro gave Iori a thumbs up at the heartwarming scene.
Bro, how about you move him to a bed first? He's literally passed out on the floor.
That's some next-level filial piety.
"Wait, weren't you girls supposed to be in the hot springs?" Kamashiro asked suddenly, recalling their earlier plan to enjoy a soak. Why was Shiori here now? Had they finished way ahead of schedule?
"Ah, it's my fault. I had to help out at the inn, so we got delayed. Aina nee-sama said she'd wait for me to finish before we all went together."
At this, Shiori looked a little apologetic—and this time, genuinely so.
After all, with that useless older brother not helping out, most of the work had fallen on her.
"I see…"
Kamashiro rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Maybe he should head over to the girls' side… and have a little talk with Inui about that whole "kissing burns calories" theory.
"Where are they now?"
"They're in the guest room. Aina nee-sama's telling Inui nee-sama all about your legendary exploits in Izu~"
Boom!
Kamashiro went blank. His eyes lost all focus.
"Legendary…? As in, those kinds of legendary things…?"
His voice trembled with fear.
Shiori tilted her head, still smiling sweetly. "If you're thinking about your charming escapades, then bingo~ You guessed right."
!!!
It's over!
That traitor Aina was selling him out!
He'd saved her from being buried in a watermelon field, and this was how she repaid him?!
Kamashiro wanted nothing more than to throw her back into that watermelon patch and let her reacquaint herself with the fragrance of dirt!
"W-What part are they up to now?"
He was still holding onto hope. Maybe Aina hadn't revealed too much yet. If it was just Kiyoko and Sakurako, he might still have a chance to explain—
But then, Shiori delivered the final blow:
"Hmm, I didn't catch everything, but when I left, Aina nee-sama was talking about how you hit on a married woman at a bar… Oh, and she even showed Inui nee-sama the Izu University forums!"
"You're seriously quite the campus celebrity, Kamashiro-onii~"
After reading those forums, even Shiori had to admit—Kamashiro Shirou really was dangerously charming.
Things like "Most Handsome Freshman in History," "Girl Killer," and "Would Spend My Entire Allowance for One Kiss."
Absolutely insane.
And that was just scratching the surface.
Actually, they weren't even rumors—most of it was confirmed with pictures!
Shiori couldn't help but look at Kamashiro with a touch of pity.
Before she left, Inui-oneechan had already asked her where the kitchen was…
"…!"
Kamashiro was now completely colorless—dead gray.
Forget a romantic night—he wasn't even sure he'd make it out of this place alive.
"Leave me alone. I just need a moment…"
He silently slinked over to the sofa and lay down next to Uncle Kitahara, deciding to join the ranks of the emotionless, soulless "corpses."
"So pitiful~" Iori sighed.
"Hey, karma always comes around," Kohei added.
Watching Kamashiro suffer, Iori and Kohei wore smug, twisted expressions of absolute glee.
Finally—finally!—this guy had crashed and burned!
They seized the moment and roasted Kamashiro without mercy. Who knew when they'd get another golden opportunity like this?
"…"
But Shiori couldn't even look at them anymore.
Those two? Laughing at Kamashiro Shirou?
Had they forgotten that on the Izu University forums, their popularity rivaled—even surpassed—his?
And their rumors were way more outrageous, often requiring mosaic censorship.
Where the hell did they get off mocking others?!
At that moment, Shiori felt genuine fear for Izu University.
What kind of school is this?!
Was it… really a university?
Guest Room
Just as Kamashiro feared, the once-sweet Inui had transformed into a pink-haired menace.
"That bastard!!!"
Veins popped on her delicate hands as she clenched her phone, staring at the forum posts.
Unfortunately, even in her blackened state, she was still too adorable to break the phone with brute force.
Gulp gulp gulp~
Beside her, Aina was hydrating like crazy.
Her face was full of satisfaction—she hadn't talked this much in ages.
Especially about Kamashiro. She'd been holding in her complaints for so long.
In her mind, romantic relationships were sacred! But for Kamashiro, it seemed as casual as breathing or eating!
She swore, she was only telling the truth. No jealousy involved. No ulterior motive to help her bestie.
Besides, even without exaggeration, Kamashiro's deeds were wild enough.
Watching Inui boil with rage, Aina nodded with approval.
Not only had she rescued a girl about to fall into depravity, she'd also eliminated a romantic rival for her dear friend.
Nice!
She'd definitely be bragging about this to Kiyoko later!
Even Chisa, who had been silent, now looked visibly shaken. After going through everything again, they realized—
Kamashiro Shirou was way more popular than they'd imagined.
Though it didn't seem like he'd actually hooked up with many.
Hmm…
PAB might've done them a favor by throwing that drinking party and cutting off his girl-chasing spree.
"Heh… What a diligent, studious young man~" Inui sneered.
Her expression contorted with fury.
She'd thought her only rivals were Kamiya and Bujima. Who knew this bastard had flirted with so many—even married women?!
Diligent?
He'd done everything but study!
"Looks like I'll need to give that bastard a proper welcome back to the room tonight!"
In her mind, a full "discipline" plan was forming.
And where had that plan come from?
Please, she was a magical girl—going dark and awakening this kind of skill set was perfectly natural.
"That's right, that's right, we have to teach that... Wait! Go back to the room?"
Aina's expression stiffened slightly—this… this wasn't exactly how she imagined things going.
"That's right! I won't let him harass any more girls! Aina, tell Kiyoko and Busujima not to worry—Shiro won't be bothering them anymore!"
There was a flash of determination in Inui's eyes. She wasn't stupid. She had already "captured the base" successfully—she had the highest chance of winning now. There's no way she'd give up!
Tonight, she would completely conquer Kamashiro Shirou.
A magical girl never admits defeat!
{{(°△°; ")}}!
Aina was stunned. This wasn't how the script was supposed to go... Would she still be able to go back and claim credit for this?
"Shiori, that was really dangerous this time~"
"With guests like this around, as your big brother, I just can't relax."
"So let me stay in your room tonight to protect you!"
After much deliberation, Iori ultimately chose Kamashiro Shirou's method. Not only could he help Shiori resolve her current crisis, but he could also sneak a peek around her room and look for his missing passport.
Absolutely perfect!
And not only did Shiori not object—she actually welcomed it. "I'd rather you stayed with me forever~"
Iori's smile stiffened a little as he realized what she meant. He laughed awkwardly. "Haha, but I still have to go to school, you know."
"Oh come on, big brother~ you don't really have any talent for that anyway~"
Looking at Shiori's ever-sweet smile, Iori's mouth twitched.
His little sister could be really hurtful sometimes—he didn't even know how to respond.
But luckily—
He had teammates!
'Kohei! Help me change the subject!'
Ignoring the still-playing-dead Kamashiro Shirou, he turned to the ever-reliable Master Kohei!
"I've got it!"
"What is it, Kohei?!"
Sure enough, Kohei didn't disappoint. He immediately understood what Iori was getting at and jumped in perfectly. He was way better than that bastard Kamashiro.
"These people—they must be planning to fall asleep now and sneak into Shiori's room in the middle of the night for a surprise attack!"
"What did you say?!"
Iori put on a shocked expression, as if hearing it for the first time.
He began to condemn them with righteous fury. "Bastards! No matter how cute Shiori is, this isn't okay!"
"At this rate, she's in serious danger!"
The two of them went full drama mode, as if the world were ending.
After the performance, they snuck a glance at Shiori's reaction.
Still smiling sweetly as ever. ~
Continue!
"Then what should we do?!"
"There's only one option—we need a smart and capable person to protect her!"
More side glances~
Shiori still showed no reaction. Meanwhile, Kamashiro Shirou, who was secretly watching the three, had quietly taken out his beloved camera.
This scene reminded him of the zoo—because when he and Shiori went before, she had this exact same expression while watching monkeys fight.
Iori and Kohei were now fully immersed in their performance. Seeing Shiori's indifference, they kept hyping up the danger of tonight.
"They will sneak into Shiori's room tonight!"
"Absolutely! They even have a detailed infiltration route hand-drawn by Kitahara!"
"That's right, it was drawn by me personally…"
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!!
Iori immediately unleashed a flurry of slaps on Kohei, realizing that this idiot had just totally blown their cover!
THUD!
Kohei, now brutally slapped, collapsed right next to Kamashiro Shirou.
(〃￣ω￣〃）
"Hey, smile for the camera?"
Before Kohei could respond, Kamashiro had already leaned in for a close-up.
Yep, tomorrow's forum hit post was secured.
Kamashiro Shirou felt Iori and Kohei really ought to thank him—if not for his tireless efforts posting their antics on the forums, they'd never have become top-tier content creators.
They even had their own fan club now. (Well… more like a "watch-the-chaos" club.)
（λ?_??）
Truly something to celebrate.
Kamashiro had even been planning to compile highlights from the past six months and post them on Twitter.
Perfect timing too—his secretary-senpai had been trying to boost the school's public visibility.
This was practically a gift-wrapped opportunity.
She was definitely going to thank him.
Slllurp
Thinking of the cool, black-stocking, short-haired onee-san, Kamashiro Shirou's smile slowly twisted into something unholy.
(???)
Kohei, now photographed, didn't really care. He was used to it.
Photos? He didn't even mind nudes, let alone this.
But…
This photographer might be in serious trouble.
Looking at the silhouettes forming behind Kamashiro Shirou, Kohei kindly warned:
"I think you should turn around…"
(′｀;)?
Kamashiro blinked in confusion. That line sounded weirdly familiar.
Being someone who listens to advice, he instantly rolled away—
And then—
Pink~
SPLAT!
A small foot clad in a white sock stomped directly onto his face. Above, Inui's sweet voice rang out.
"Does it look good?"
(.;゜;:益:;゜;.)
Kamashiro Shirou broke out in a cold sweat. "V-very good…"
"Lady Inui! Why are you rewarding him?!"
"Shut it, you idiot—this isn't a reward, this is… mmph!"
Before he could finish, Inui covered his mouth.
"Shiro~ Let's not disturb everyone here anymore."
"I just saw Aunt Kitahara. She said our room is ready~"
"Let's go back now."
If this had been any other time, Kamashiro would've immediately picked Inui up and dashed to the room.
But now…
{{(°△°; ")}}!
He violently shook his head—his face screamed refusal.
The murderous aura surrounding Inui was practically tangible!
"Be good~ If you resist, it might hurt a little, okay~?"
Inui knew her own limits. Just dragging Kamashiro Shirou was already a stretch—if he resisted, she really wouldn't be able to manage.
But luckily, she found a tool on the way~
Gulp
Kamashiro swallowed nervously, staring in horror at the object in Inui's other hand.
"Inui-chan… that hammer… it's inflatable, right?"
"Nope. It's made of wood. Want to try it~?"
"N-no thanks."
To save his precious skull, Kamashiro Shirou obediently stood up, giving Iori and Kohei a pitiful look.
'Save me!'
This was when you relied on your teammates!
Unfortunately… his teammates weren't normal.
Iori and Kohei simultaneously showed villainous smiles.
'You bastards! All these schemes were MY ideas!'
'Thanks for the ideas. Now that we've got them, you're no longer needed.'
'Farewell, you enviable bastard!'
'You traitors!'
Kamashiro Shirou glared at them, face twisted in despair. He missed his reliable senpai more than ever.
"Well, we'll just excuse ourselves for a bit~"
Inui cheerfully waved goodbye to everyone, dragging a hopelessly despairing Kamashiro Shirou away.
At that moment, he deeply regretted it—he never should have asked Aunt Kitahara to reserve them a room!