Eh, whatever. It doesn't matter who the protagonist is, as long as you two help me get the passport and scare off those two foreign freaks.
Now that Iori was sure of his status as Shiori's real brother, he waved his hand dismissively and stood up from the hot spring.
He'd soaked long enough.
Though hot springs were nice, staying in too long made him dizzy.
Besides, it wasn't a mixed bath, and there was no scenery to admire — no reason to stay longer.
Better to get moving and steal that passport!
"Huh? Shouldn't you be trying to deepen your bond with your little sister at a time like this?" Shiro looked at him, surprised.
This was the perfect chance to mend their sibling relationship!
"Hah? Totally unnecessary. Shiori and I get along just fine."
"...If you insist, I guess I can't stop you."
Shiro had no idea where this idiot's confidence came from. If she didn't need him to inherit the inn, Shiori might've kicked him out of the house long ago.
With the protagonist gone, Shiro also lost interest in soaking any longer.
Splash—
That body, which made countless men jealous, rose from the water — Shiro was the perfect example of "clothes make you look slim, but under them is all muscle." Iori and Kohei couldn't help but feel envious.
More importantly… he had the equipment every man envied!
Tsk, tsk.
Both of them clicked their tongues in frustration — damn normie, get out of here!
"So whose plan are we going with?"
Kohei stepped out and asked. If it was his plan, he had preparations to make now.
If not...
He'd make sure it became the only plan!
Noticing the dangerous glint in Kohei's eyes, Iori threw in the towel. "I already said I just want the passport. If it comes down to it, we can all take a step back."
"A step back?"
In Shiro and Kohei's minds, an image emerged.
Once again, the moonless, windy night.
The two perverts opened the door and found Iori and Kohei, who then guided them to Shiro's room.
At that moment, Shiori was in there discussing her blood ties with Shiro.
Suddenly — the door burst open!
The perverts appeared!
Then — heroes burst in!
Through ambushes and traps, the three successfully subdued the perverts and handed them over to the police.
To show her gratitude, Shiori decided to become Shiro's goddaughter and started a new life with Kohei, helping him run the teahouse and earning money for Shiro.
As for Kitahara... he got his passport.
...
"If you're really okay with it..."
"We don't mind at all!"
The two stared at Iori, a glimmer of hope in their eyes.
Unfortunately, their proposal was swiftly and mercilessly rejected by the protagonist's Onii chan.
"You two soaked too long and lost your minds?"
Who the hell taught them what taking a step back meant?!
This wasn't compromise — it was a freaking three-man combo!
And seriously… you're taking my sister and leaving me with just a passport? Your conscience good with that?
"If you guys want to make a move, I'll give you the chance — but only for my passport. Keep any weird thoughts to yourselves."
Iori scrubbed his hair as he warned them. Even though he thought there was no way Shiori would follow their ridiculous fantasy...
If she got spooked and ran off with his passport, that would be a real problem!
"Don't overthink it. Who says those two freaks are even going to Shiori's room?"
Shiro dried off his "big bird" while speaking indifferently — a fantasy was just that, a fantasy.
"They definitely will!" Kohei's voice was firm — this was a pervert accurately predicting the behavior of other perverts!
"If they like Kirara, then there's no way they wouldn't be interested in Shiori!"
"Are they really that similar?" Shiro hadn't been gaming much lately due to everything going on, but now he was interested.
Maybe he'd raise Shiori like a character in the game too?
"Of course! She's practically her 3D incarnation!"
"You 2D people are scary..." muttered Iori, who had never played those kinds of games. But seeing how confident Kohei was, he secretly felt a little pleased.
This might really turn into a huge favor owed to him~
Excited, Iori pulled out his change of clothes — a Kirara cosplay costume.
Yeah, it looked exactly like a kindergarten uniform... what the hell?!
Why was a Kirara cosplay outfit his change of clothes now?!
At that moment...
Iori froze. Where was his yukata? His pure white bathrobe?!
He held up the Kirara outfit in front of himself. It was a bit small, but he could squeeze into it if he really had to.
But there was no way he was actually wearing it!
He just wanted to show Shiro and Kohei so they could brainstorm together and figure out what the hell was going on!
As for the possibility that Shiro and Kohei were behind it?
Iori had suspected them at first, but quickly dismissed the idea.
After all, ever since they'd taken their clothes off, they'd been right beside him the whole time—completely naked at that. No matter how he looked at it, there was no way it could've been them.
Shiro and Kohei, who were now getting dressed, naturally noticed Iori's bizarre change of clothes.
Their pupils shrank slightly—but then again, this was Kitahara Iori. Pretty par for the course.
Nothing a moron does is ever surprising~
They continued chatting casually.
"Chisa and Inui sama kinda look like Kirara, sure, but age-wise, it's a stretch... The real outlier is Aina! She doesn't resemble Kirara at all! Those two foreign weirdos clearly don't know what they're doing…"
"Well, I mean, they are foreigners. Makes sense."
"Hey…"
"But still, you can't just grab a random person!"
"I said—"
"Aina's not bad though, right? At least her chest matches the requirements."
"Even so—"
"LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!! Why the hell did my spare clothes turn into a Kirara costume?!"
Iori exploded in anger. Could these two really not see how abnormal this situation was?
"Weren't those the clothes you brought for yourself?" Shiro asked, surprised. He'd assumed Iori was planning to cosplay as Kirara to crush those foreigners' obsession—just like how Shiro himself used to be a big fan of his own creation, Aqua...
Until—he saw a musclebound version of Aqua at a convention.
In that moment, he seriously considered filing a lawsuit.
"Why the hell would I prepare something like this for myself?!"
Iori couldn't imagine this outfit would ever crush those foreigners' spirit. Just look at what they were wearing!
"So where are your original clothes?"
"Gone. Nowhere to be found."
Iori had searched carefully just now. Aside from the Kirara outfit, there was nothing else.
"Well, then you'll just have to wear that."
Kohei sighed, his eyes full of schadenfreude. Shiro was already preparing to pull out his prized camera.
A photo of "Kitahara Iori Cosplaying Kirara" would definitely blow up online!
(?°?д°?)
"There's no way in hell I'm wearing this!!"
Iori, now fully aware of their intentions, wanted to smack the costume into their faces.
If they hadn't been by his side the whole time, he would've immediately declared them the culprits and dealt with them accordingly.
But since it wasn't them... then who was it?
The culprit must still be nearby!
Iori scanned the surroundings—until he spotted an all-too-familiar figure.
And that figure was holding a white yukata!
Smack!
The moment he found the culprit, Iori clapped a firm hand on their shoulder.
"Hold it right there, my daddy!"
"What's the matter, my son!"
The one caught—his own dad—showed no panic whatsoever. Judging by his expression, he looked every bit the image of a righteous man full of conviction!
…Which somehow gave Shiro a strange sense of déjà vu.
"Just hurry up and change your clothes already."
Iori's dad clearly had no sense of guilt. He was still urging Iori to hurry up and come out.
"With what clothes, huh?! Give me mine back!"
Iori roared. There was no way in hell he'd walk out wearing something so humiliating.
"You don't want to wear that outfit?"
"Of course I don't! What a stupid question!"
"Hmm… I see."
Understanding his son's preferences, Iori's dad gave in. "Then I guess I'll wear it with you."
???
"Dad, has your brain been stewed to mush or what?!"
How had he fallen so out of sync with his old man after just six months away?
What strange new trait had his dad awakened?
Shiro and Kohei watched this warm father-son moment and finally understood the origin of Iori's moronic behavior.
"Such a harmonious family~"
"SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!!!"
…
After a long struggle, Iori finally managed to stop his dad's dangerous plan. He felt his dad's forehead—just to check whether his brain had actually gotten cooked.
"By the way, why did you want iori to wear a Kirara costume out of the blue?"
Shiro asked, puzzled. Even if uncle had awakened some bizarre kink, why Kirara specifically? That name had been popping up a lot lately.
"Ah, about that—" Iori's dad began. "Earlier I ran into two strange foreign guests outside."
"..."
Yup, they got the picture. It was definitely those two freaks.
"They wanted little Shiori to wear that weird costume. I tried to politely refuse, but... communication was impossible."
(;?＿?)
Even if they could understand him, those two wouldn't give up. Never underestimate the persistence of perverts!
One could imagine how hopeless the situation must've been.
So Iori's dad continued explaining the "solution" he'd come up with.
"That's when I decided—why not have Iori, who shares the same genes as Shiori, give it a try?"
"I see!"
"Perfectly logical!"
Shiro and Kohei both nodded. Considering genetics—very thorough indeed!
"There's nothing logical about it!!" Iori snapped. "The most important point is SEX, okay?! Perverts don't care about genes! They're not into cells—they're into girls!"
He felt like these idiots were just making up excuses to trick him into putting the damn thing on.
"Enough about that. More importantly—since we're all here, what about Shiori…"
"Shiori's in danger!"
Kohei suddenly realized—Shiori might be alone, facing two musclebound foreigners!
The thought of that fired up both Iori and Kohei, who bolted from the room.
No way they were letting their precious sister get bullied!
Only Shiro followed at a relaxed pace.
Did he not care?
No—it's just that he knew Shiori too well.
In terms of physical strength, Shiori was the weakest among them. But when it came to brainpower...
To put it bluntly, Shiori could absolutely wreck everyone in this house.
She had all kinds of weird gadgets and tricks up her sleeve.
Shiro, who had once fallen victim to Shiori's "methods," was actually more worried about the foreigners.
And sure enough—
By the time Shiro stepped outside, the two foreigners were already lying peacefully on the sofa, with a handkerchief resting quietly on their chests.
It had happened again.
Shiori's self-invented "handkerchief game."
A handkerchief laced with sleeping gas!
{{(°△°; "}}!
Recalling his own past experience, Shiro shuddered. Just moments ago, Shiori had shot him a look—
"If you breathe a word of this, you're dead."
(っ╥╯﹏╰╥c)
He'd been threatened. He felt so powerless.
Meanwhile, Iori and Kohei still hadn't grasped what was going on.
"Huh? Why are they suddenly lying down?"
Feigning innocence, Shiori replied with a helpless expression, "I… I'm not really sure myself…"
"Well, as long as you're okay."
"We were really worried."
"Thank you both… But, dear brother, if you're really that concerned for me, why not come home…"
Shiori was still trying to trick her idiot brother into staying. She wanted to see the world beyond this village!
"I think I'll pass."
"Kohei-nii sama can accompany you anytime~"
Kohei inserted himself into the sibling conversation. He'd be more than happy to join the Kitahara family.
"Kohei-nii is better suited to the city."
"Haha, yeah. It's hard to find anime out here in the countryside."
"Isn't there a DVD player?"
"..."
Watching this idyllic scene unfold, Shiro didn't feel the least bit envious.
Instead, he gained a much clearer understanding of just how dumb his companions were.
One had experienced the handkerchief firsthand. The other had seen it happen.
And yet they still thought Shiori was just a harmless little bunny.
Gulp.
Shiro swallowed nervously.
What he saw was no bunny—
But a big cat toying with her prey.