It's common knowledge that Kamishiro and his friends are college students.
As college students, they still need to attend classes occasionally.
Looking at the trembling old man on the podium, Kamishiro's mouth twitched wildly.
Not only are the students in this school abnormal, but the teachers are too!
Look at these teachers. A foreigner and a scumbag are fine, but what's wrong with this old man?!
He really can't hold back in the middle of class...
For the old man's safety, Kamishiro and his group quietly calmed down a bit.
However, the old man's class was destined to be a mess~
Group Discussion
"Problems and Solutions Around Us!"
"This is the content of this class. Each group will choose a topic and discuss it for 20 minutes."
As the old man finished speaking, everyone in the classroom began to form teams, moving their desks and chairs together.
Kamishiro Shiro had originally planned to join a few girls in the class, but before they even started, a few demons had their vitals locked.
For his own safety, this plan failed before it even began...
"In that case, let's just draw lots!"
Kamishiro Shiro, accepting reality, glared at everyone with a stern look. For these beasts, this was the fairest way!
Swish~
A slip of paper fell out, and upon opening it, it was Kitahara Iori's slip!
"Is that so..."
Iori rested his chin in his hands and glanced sideways at Kamishiro Shiro.
"Alright then, let's discuss 'Why Kamishiro Shiro is so popular!'"
!!!
"What kind of ridiculous question is that?!"
"Who the hell cares why that scumbag is popular?!"
"I strongly demand we change the topic!"
Hearing that, Yamamoto and the others exploded instantly. They were already dying of jealousy over Kamishiro—why on earth would they want to talk about why he's so popular?
Even Kamishiro himself looked at Iori in shock. Did this idiot have a change of heart or something?
Whatever the reason, he gave Iori an approving look. Time to show these losers the vast gap between people.
Iori, calm and composed, had anticipated this exact reaction when he brought up the topic. This question, of course, wasn't going to be that simple.
His eyes gleamed with a hint of cunning intelligence. "What if... we analyze each trait that makes him popular—and eliminate them one by one?"
Yamamoto and the others froze.
Sometimes, all a friend group needs is a small spark to rally around.
"So if we do that…"
"We can finally turn him into a normal human being?!"
They all suddenly got hyped. Who cares if they lose—as long as that guy doesn't win.
They had long fantasized about burying Kamishiro alive anyway.
"Alright, that's our topic."
"Now let's talk about solutions."
"How to make Kamishiro unpopular."
"..."
(???)
Kamishiro Shiro looked at them silently. They weren't even bothering to hide their intentions, discussing this right in front of him.
Too bad—
Their efforts would be for nothing. (λ?_??)
Even if they somehow pulled it off, he could still look down on them like the adult among kids.
Still too young~
Meanwhile, the rest, immersed in their delusions, were already jotting things down on paper.
List of Kamishiro Shiro's Strengths:
Too handsome
Rich
Great physique
Charming and flirty
Skilled in all sorts of things
...
Reading the list, everyone's faces turned dark.
Listing these facts out so plainly... was truly painful.
And of course, that's when Kamishiro leaned over and nodded approvingly. "Not bad. Though I think you should add one more—'an interesting soul.'~"
That was it.
The group couldn't take it anymore and balled up the paper, hurling it at his face.
"Interesting your head!!!"
There was no way out of this! Even knowing his strengths didn't help—they couldn't exactly disfigure him and steal his inheritance.
That would be murder. At that point, they might as well just humanely destroy him!
"This isn't going to work," Nojima said as he pushed up his glasses, the glare hiding his eyes. "We're students, not criminals."
"…Let's just do it humanely!"
Nojima suddenly pulled out a bag of cement.
As long as they weren't caught, they could still maintain the image of good students!
"Agreed."
"Wait!!"
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
Watching everyone prepare to act, Kamishiro panicked. How did a friendly discussion turn into his execution?!
Holding up the crumpled paper, he made one last plea.
"It's not entirely meaningless! Since you can't stop me, why not join me?!"
Boom!
The six of them looked like they'd been struck by lightning.
That... made sense?
Their jealousy was rooted in how popular Kamishiro was. But what if they could be like him? Even just half as popular?
Realization dawned.
"Kamishiro, you genius!"
"This time, we'll let you off!"
Everyone eagerly picked up the crumpled paper again.
Kamishiro sighed in relief. Thankfully, these idiots were just smart enough. Had they already forgotten why they crumpled the paper in the first place?
Of course they had.
Because the moment they read the first item, they balled it up again.
"Can't even do the first one!"
"You expect us to go to Korea for plastic surgery?!"
"Well... I guess I'll just have to start working on my body, then."
"..."
The once-lively group fell into silence.
The six of them stared at Yamamoto in horror. Did... did he seriously think the only thing he was lacking was a good physique? The sheer lack of self-awareness was terrifying.
Yamamoto, sensing their stares, looked back in confusion. "What's wrong? Sure, losing weight is tough, but I can do it if it makes me more popular!"
"…"
Silence.
He was serious?!
Kamishiro casually tossed the paper ball into the trash and quickly pulled out another topic.
"Alright, let's move on to the next topic!"
"Agreed!"
"Make sure it's not about you!"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"
Yamamoto shouted, feeling abandoned. He could see the doubt in his friends' eyes—he could definitely lose weight, okay?!
But no one was listening...
Well, not no one—because Kamishiro's next topic was about Yamamoto.
"Let's discuss: Yamamoto Shinichiro's Virginity Problem!"
???
"ARE YOU GUYS JUST MESSING WITH ME NOW?!"
(?ò?ó)
Yamamoto felt utterly betrayed by his own friends…
"This is a tough one."
"It's on the same level as Kamishiro's earlier topic."
"With just us, it might be…"
Despite the grim words, none of them carried the heavy tone they'd had when discussing Kamishiro.
On the contrary, everyone wore wide grins.
After all—
What could be more entertaining than analyzing why your buddy's still a virgin?
BAM!
"Have you guys even considered my feelings?!"
Yamamoto slammed the table. From the start of the discussion, he'd been treated like he didn't exist.
If the topic weren't about him, he might've believed he'd been erased from the world entirely.
At last, the kind-hearted Iori noticed poor Yamamoto.
He patted his shoulder sympathetically.
"Don't worry, it's just like before. If we solve this problem, maybe your virginity—"
"—will finally be gone!"
Kamishiro looked at Yamamoto in awe.
This topic was tough, sure, but it promised great rewards.
And it was practical too!
If even someone like Yamamoto could lose his virginity, then Kamishiro was convinced—
There'd be no 20+ year old virgins left in the world.
And if there were, he'd sell them Yamamoto's Method™!
（λ?_??）
Kamishiro was now very interested in this challenge.
"..."
Having learned from experience, Yamamoto wasn't too hopeful. But his desire to lose his virginity was strong—he wasn't willing to give up even a sliver of hope.
He nodded slightly.
With a popular guy like Kamishiro on their team, maybe this time they'd actually come up with something solid...
Scratch scratch scratch—
The sound of pens scratching on paper echoed through the room.
Soon, their ideas filled the page:
"1. Money makes the world go round"
"2. Force her with brute strength"
"Hmm... I guess these are the only real options."
Kamishiro nodded. Their thinking was fairly comprehensive.
!!!
"Can't you at least include a 'get a girlfriend' option?!"
Yamamoto exploded. These weren't even legal, let alone decent ideas!
As a true democrat, Kamishiro graciously accepted Yamamoto's feedback.
"3. Use hypnosis and drugs to get a girlfriend."
"Good, perfect! That gives us three options!"
Kamashiro nodded in satisfaction. Three was a wonderfully balanced number.
"Wait… isn't the third option kind of filled with weird stuff…?"
Yamamoto felt he was being seriously misunderstood. All he wanted was to find a girlfriend, right?
Of course, during discussions, differing opinions are bound to pop up.
Mitarai-san gave his own take!
"But Shirou, I think including criminal behavior as an option might be a bit inappropriate."
His view was met with unanimous agreement. After all, they were good students at Izu University~
"True."
"Yeah, that does cross a moral line."
"None of you even have that 'morality' thing to begin with, so what's there to cross…"
Yamamoto interjected sharply. None of them had the right to preach.
"Well, if that's how it is, I guess we'll just erase those."
Listening to the group's feedback, Kamashiro Shiro nodded and simply wiped away the last two options on the board.
Taking into account that this is Japan, he very considerately left only the first option.
Then, he gave Yamamoto a look of contempt. "Tch. So there is a way after all. Better start saving money."
!!?
(?°Д°?)
"Damn it, what's with that expression?! And why's there only one option left?! Who the hell wants to pay to lose their virginity?! Put the 'find a girlfriend' option back up there!"
If Yamamoto remembered correctly, this list was supposed to be presented to the whole class.
If the girls in class saw it, the whole school would know in no time!
And probably even the neighboring Oumi girls too!
That would absolutely destroy his chances of ever getting a girlfriend!
"Sorry bro, this was literally the fastest solution we could come up with. If you're not satisfied, well… we got nothing."
Kamashiro Shiro shrugged helplessly. He had tried his best.
It wasn't that he didn't want to help—it's just that Yamamoto's situation was too hopeless.
I mean, a guy who regularly spends time with inflatable dolls—how's he supposed to find a real girlfriend?
"Impossible! Totally impossible! You're the one who's supposedly popular, think harder! I'm only slightly less fit than you!"
Unable to take it anymore, Yamamoto tore up the paper listing criminal activities. He still hadn't accepted reality.
"..."
Kamashiro Shiro looked at him in silence. How thick-skinned did this guy have to be to say that with a straight face?
But—perhaps spurred on by the outburst—Kamashiro Shiro suddenly thought of an unconventional solution!
He examined Yamamoto from head to toe. Aside from the weight, he wasn't all that bad.
"If you lost some weight, you might be able to ditch your virginity."
!!!
Yamamoto's face lit up with joy. He knew he was just a little chubby!
But that nearly made Iori and the others' jaws drop. Nojima even looked between himself and Yamamoto repeatedly.
If he had a chance…
Just as Nojima was about to ask Kamashiro for his method, Kamishirou's next words killed that idea immediately:
"That's right. If you slim down, you could totally be popular at the Big Bird Spin Club for college guys."
"..."
The smile froze on Yamamoto's face. He repeated uncertainly, "The Big Bird Spin Club? Is that the one I'm thinking of…?"
"Mm-hmm. Should be the one you're thinking of.
For a virgin like you, that's the kind of place where you could lose it twice, y'know?"
The others were stunned at first, but then looked at Yamamoto—and slowly, it kind of… made sense.
Even so, they still felt that Yamamoto would struggle to lose his virginity—even there.
(?ò?ó)
"What are those looks on your faces!? Why are you all acting like I belong in that club?! Think of another way already!"
Yamamoto was on the verge of breaking down. He was supposed to be the handsome guy of his family—how come he didn't even have a girlfriend?!
But—
All he got in return was a long, collective silence. Then Kohei spoke up:
"Well then, the answer to this problem… is that there's no solution!"
Kamashiro and the others sighed. "Yeah… we've considered everything."
"Some problems just don't have answers."
"You bastards…"
Just as Yamamoto was about to snap—
A voice, angelic and sudden, rang out—
"Not so fast!"
"Ha~"
Nojima chuckled. It was finally his time to shine—just now, watching Kamishiro Byakuya and Iori put on their act had almost suffocated him.
Now it was Nojima's science explanation time!
"If you're a science major too, then you should know the term Margin Of Error, right?"
"Margin Of Error?!"
Kamishiro was a bit surprised. After all, that kind of concept typically applied to measuring instruments.
The simplest example would be between digital watches and traditional analog ones.
Compared to analog watches, digital watches are much more precise, while analog ones can deviate due to hand positioning and the user's judgment.
For instance, the actual time might be 4:38, but for various reasons, the analog watch might be read as 4:37.
That is what's known as a Margin Of Error!
Kamishiro looked at Nojima with a more serious gaze—looks like this strangely dressed scumbag he hadn't taken seriously before was actually a formidable opponent.
At the very least, he himself couldn't imagine how "Margin Of Error" had anything to do with what they were discussing just now!
Could such a thing as Margin Of Error really exist between humans and instruments?
"The minimum permissible range of this error is 10% of the smallest scale."
Seeing the confused expressions on everyone's faces, Nojima flicked his hair arrogantly. As expected, he was the true protagonist here.
"And then?"
Kamishiro asked in a low voice—he felt like he was on the verge of grasping something important!
"It's said that the genetic difference between gorillas and humans is less than 1%!"
BOOM—
As this terrifying truth came out of Nojima's mouth, Kamishiro was once again mentally roasted to a crisp—charred on the outside and tender on the inside.
He lowered his head in despair, completely losing his fighting spirit. That kind of perverse level—he might never reach it in this lifetime.
The most extreme kink he knew was Asuza-nee's... and that was already pushing it.
Plus, even if Yamamoto and a gorilla looked oddly similar, they were still different species, right? Anyone who's taken even a basic bio class wouldn't say that "1% genetic similarity is just a measurement error!"
Looking at Nojima's proud expression, Kamishiro felt this major was totally wasting his talent. How could a genius like him end up studying mechanical engineering? He should be transferred immediately to biology!
As expected, Yamamoto blew up the moment he heard the answer.
"You're saying I should lose my virginity to a gorilla?!"
"Uh..."
Everyone gave him a once-over, and then, maybe realizing it was a bit too inhumane, they turned and started discussing.
"Back to the point—does he really need to lose his virginity?"
"Totally not. I mean, Japan's got plenty of dark mages already; one more or less doesn't matter."
"Exactly!"
"After all, human sexual behavior is aimed at reproduction."
"Which means, Yamamoto's genes have no place in the human gene pool!"
(?ò?ó)
"Don't just ignore me, damn it! And aren't you being a bit too bold discussing this stuff so openly?!
You guys act like you have experience or something!"
Whoosh whoosh~
The moment Yamamoto asked that, Iori and Kohei both turned their gaze toward Kamashiro.
Wham wham!
They were met with two righteous karate chops.
As the two collapsed into brief dizziness, Kamishiro wiped the cold sweat off his forehead, looking a bit guilty.
"Ahem, they're probably just tired and needed a break.
Since this question is clearly not worth pursuing, let's move on to the next one.
Fujiwara, your turn to shine—go pick a slip!"
To keep the other four idiots from catching on, Kamishiro swiftly changed the topic and roped in the one guy who had the least presence and was the easiest to fool.
After all...
In the story he'd sold them, Kamishiro was also a pure virgin...
"No problem!"
Finally getting some screen time, Fujiwara didn't even care about the weird scene just now. It was Kamishiro and crew, after all.
Them causing random chaos was totally normal~
What mattered now was his moment to shine!
Grinning ear to ear, Fujiwara picked a slip, already fantasizing about drawing his own topic as the destined hero, and basking in everyone's admiration.
His question was leagues more interesting than the two previous morons'!
Ruffle—
He opened the paper:
Yamamoto Shinichiro's slip!
"The societal issue of even someone like Kitahara having a girlfriend"
"..."
Fujiwara's good mood vanished instantly.
Worse still, Kamishiro snatched the slip and ran off to find Yamamoto and the others, turning Fujiwara back into a background extra.
(*?????)
...
"This is a deep question."
"Yeah, I still haven't figured it out."
"Hmm... feels like it's missing something."
"Missing? I think it's a solid topic for discussion."
Mitarai looked up, a little confused—he genuinely wanted to know the answer to this question.
But in response...
He was met with several demonic figures resting their chins on their hands.
Yamamoto and the others smirked devilishly at Mitarai, as if they knew exactly what was missing from the slip.
Three seconds later—
"Mmmmfff!!"
Mitarai was successfully transformed into a helpless, pitiful little caterpillar.
Of course, he wasn't alone—his dear comrade Iori-kun was bound right beside him!
Iori had regained consciousness when they tied him up, but by then it was already too late.
His mouth was gagged first, so all he could do was watch in horror as a bunch of large dudes pinned him down and used those long, thick... ropes to restrain him.
In that moment, he nearly had a certain male reaction shut down in fright.
It felt like they didn't even care if he lived or died!
What's that?
They were planning to "eliminate" him anyway?
...Well, never mind then.
Still, they were in class after all. Might as well show some respect to the old professor—
"Well then, shall we begin our discussion?"
Yamamoto sat at the head table, launching the discussion (interrogation).
"What's the best way to solve this, hmm~"
"Breaking up might be the fastest method, but..."
"Honestly, letting these two guys continue existing in this world is just too unfair."
"..."
Hearing Yamamoto and company's dangerous talk, Kamishiro, who was among them, started trembling.
He felt like a husky who had somehow wandered into a pack of wolves.
Thank god he had always kept up his image as a single virgin among these guys—otherwise, he might be joining that idiot Iori in bondage.
Those two "failed attempts" were already on the verge of being mercy-killed. And he, a guy with a body count in the triple digits...
{{(°△°; "}}!
Kamishiro shivered again. He was now absolutely determined to never let them discover his true nature!
Thankfully, only two people here knew his secrets—one was gagged, the other still unconscious.
He could still keep up the act!
The husky Kamishiro joined the trial!
"I think we should just give them a poop bath!"
...