Everyone rolled their eyes at him in unison before turning back to watch the play.
On stage, the performance was a scene from Pride and Prejudice, though not one of the more famous, emotionally charged moments. It was just a casual exchange between two aristocratic ladies.
Spider-Man spotted Mary Jane on stage. He gave her a slight nod and smiled. Mary Jane, equally poised, glanced his way and let a subtle smile lift the corners of her lips.
Finally, he showed up. She was almost done with the scene already. She had half a mind to believe he was going to stand her up again.
If that had happened, she might've seriously considered dating the Daily Planet boss's son—the astronaut, John Jameson.
"Sorry, excuse me, excuse me."
Just as Spider-Man was about to close the door behind him, a Black couple squeezed through. They had also arrived late and had been blocked by security. They were ready to give up and leave, but after watching Spider-Man shove aside the towering security guard and stroll in, they took their chance and followed.
Spider-Man just shrugged and found his seat, settling in to watch Mary Jane's performance.
The couple ended up sitting directly behind him. The auditorium was completely dark, with all lights focused on the stage.
Most of the audience either had money, status, or enough cultural appreciation to enjoy a play like this or they were simply freeloaders who had snagged free tickets and showed up to act refined.
This couple clearly fell into the last category. Their vibe screamed, "It's free, so why not?"
Barely five minutes after sitting down, the woman leaned over.
"Babe, I need to use the restroom."
"Okay!"
Her boyfriend didn't have a clue what was happening on stage, but two elegant white women in elaborate dresses and graceful postures? That was his exact type.
"Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me!"
With every step, the woman loudly repeated the phrase, projecting her voice like a foghorn. She thought she was being polite. Everyone else thought otherwise.
"Megan, lower your voice," her boyfriend muttered, wincing.
With a tiny purse slung over her shoulder, Megan clomped down the steps toward the stage. Then, in a move that stunned everyone, she strode right to the front row.
"Megan, where are you going?" her boyfriend asked, baffled.
"Andre! Andre! Where are you?!"
Megan's shrill voice pierced through the theater.
Onstage, Mary Jane and her co-star froze, completely thrown off by the unexpected outburst. They stared at Megan, clearly unsure what was happening.
"Shhhhhh!"
Her boyfriend wished the floor would swallow him whole.
Misreading the audience's shushing, Megan pouted and huffed, "What are y'all shushing me for? I'm looking for my boyfriend!"
Spider-Man glanced over his shoulder and said to the guy behind him, "Go get your girlfriend."
No way was he letting this woman ruin Mary Jane's performance.
The man nodded apologetically and whispered urgently,"Megan!"
"Andre!"
"Megan!"
"Andre!"
"Shhhhhh!"
Several members of the audience had reached their limit and were trying to hush her more forcefully.
"Don't shush me!" Megan snapped.
"That was me shushing you…" her boyfriend sighed, face in his hands.
"Andre! Andre!"
Megan started climbing the rows again, scanning for her boyfriend with every step.
"Andre! Andre! Andre!"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" her boyfriend grumbled. "Just go back to your seat already."
But Megan was completely ignoring him. Instead, she pulled out her phone.
"Siri, call Andre for me."
Suddenly, music blasted from her phone speakers:
"The boundless horizon is my loveAt the foot of the green hills, the flowers are bloomingWhat kind of rhythm swings the hardest?What kind of singing brings the most joy"
The ringtone thundered through the theater. Heads turned. The boyfriend was getting glares sharp enough to pierce steel.
He quickly answered and hissed into the phone,"Megan, what the hell are you doing"
But Megan had already yelled into hers,"Andre! Where are you?!"
"I'm right behind you!" the boyfriend exploded.
Apparently, Megan had walked a full circle and ended up right back in front of the stage—this time facing it.
"Can we video call instead?" she asked, clueless.
A bald Black man sitting beside the boyfriend had finally had enough. He cracked his knuckles, eyes narrowing. There's a saying about how Black folks don't hit their own but clearly, someone had abandoned all decorum tonight.
The boyfriend replied,"No, we can't. It's pitch dark, you won't be able to see anything."
Megan's voice remained loud and nasal."I know it's dark! That's why I can't find you!"
The bald man's knuckles were now fully clenched.
"I'm right behind you. Just turn around!"
"Okay! I'm turning now."
She performed a dramatic 360-degree pirouette on the spot.
"Damn!"
Even the bald man couldn't hold back anymore. Any sane person would lose it after watching a woman like this in action.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" the boyfriend finally snapped, humiliated beyond reason.
"Don't yell at me!" Megan retorted calmly, completely unfazed.
It was clear this wasn't the first time she'd dealt with his shouting. She had built immunity to shame. As long as she wasn't embarrassed, she could keep being embarrassing forever.
"Megan, are you brain-dead or something?!"
"What do you mean by that?"
Suddenly, she switched to a cutesy tone. But paired with her five-foot-two frame, 180-pound build, and features so faint they were barely visible in the dark, every man watching felt a wave of nausea.
"Megan..."
The boyfriend tried to continue, but the bald man had run out of patience. He punched the boyfriend straight in the face, grabbed him by the collar, and growled,
"Listen, punk. You need to put that damn phone away. Now."
"Okay! Okay!"
The boyfriend clearly wasn't the confrontational type. After taking a hit, he didn't even attempt to fight back. With trembling hands, he shoved the phone back into his pocket.
"Oh my God, Andre! I can't believe you hung up on me!"
Megan still had her phone in hand, pacing dramatically in front of the stage.
(End of Chapter)
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