My name is Buddy. I am that crazy woman's dad.
How could I call my own daughter crazy? Because she really is. I do love her, though. I've missed her school days—the most troublesome, but the days with the most growth. Hence, I was glad that she chose to stick around me.
(Because she's poor and she can't find a job in her current setting.)
"True, but you can see that she respects me, no?"
(The biggest reason is that you're taking care of her sister.)
Craycray's little sister got into high school for less than three months. She required my support. Thus, I spent my time with her in the morning and night, educating and giving her love advice, as youngsters these days just couldn't wait till university. Apparently, she was struggling between two guys. Aya aya, youngsters these days.
I spent my afternoon with Craycray, but not always as I checked out my other shops, too. I opened a franchise of a familiar convenience store brand. With my execution ability, I opened three shops in a year! So, when Craycray said she's poor, that was only her, not me, AHAHAHAHA!!
(Is everything new after you're released?)
"Yep. I said goodbye to my past life entirely. I mean, not even my wife is around anymore."
The first person I met was my younger daughter's childhood friend, who apparently was friends with Craycray, too, when she was normal. Then, I met Palakala. I would also call him Palakala now because it's a funny name. Then, I met Pollen, who sort of got interested in Craycray after visiting our shop many times, and invited her out.
(Lastly, tell us what happened between you and your wife.)
"No."
On the bench of a park, I ate my steamed buns. The birds in China were extremely cautious of humans, but many circled me, drooling at my buns.
"You can't have my buns, but you can have my steamed buns."
(Were you always this indecent, or did you learn that from your daughter?)
"Always! That's how I won my wife's heart."
He was thin. His beard was terribly shaven. His skin was that of a construction worker. His eye sockets seemed to be sinking in. With his buzzcut, the strangers walking by the chair thought…
"Did he come out of prison?"
Jokes aside, I did! I knew many when I was the lyricist of 119. I had a galaxy of time to comprehend more behind bars. Now, I'm just a chill prisoner-like dude feeding and singing songs to the birds.
"Yo!" Palakala would often pass this bench in his morning run.
"Yo! Had your breakfast yet?"
"You always buy extra for me, so nope."
I handed a bun to him as he sat next to me. He was a little shaky after learning what Craycray and Pollen had done, especially when he found out that Pollen was the one who had started it.
Today, he and I were on break, while Craycray and another girl I had recently met watched over the store. We had planned to meet with Pollen and her classmate today.
"Her classmate likes her apparently, and I just wanted to go and see some boom going, but it's a little awkward now that I know what she did…" He said.
"How many girl...boyfriends did you have?"
"Just one. I never asked about this, but what is your genuine opinion on homosexuals?"
"I think it's cool!" When he came out to me before, I only nodded.
"Heh, that's why I like speaking with you. Also, last time you said Craycray sold your drum set. Did you give up on drumming entirely?"
"I was hitting buckets in prison for the first two years, but not anymore."
"Hm..."
"Don't worry. I'm still loyal to music! I'm still trying to write the perfect lyrics!!"
"...Hm."
"Ha, I know you're more about the sound."
Palakala wished to play music with me, but I must refuse. I haven't touched drumsticks for a decade. My interest in poetry, the original lyrics, grew far greater than my interest in drums.
"I want to create the perfect music as an indie artist…" Palakala didn't want to be restrained by market and time. Creating perfect music pieces involved time, and he didn't want the audience and companies to tell him what music they desire. "I want to create music that carries the vibe Craycray mentioned, and to convey the message of your lyrics through the sound alone."
"That requires emotional instrumental performances! And only humans can do that."
"Hm, I've been using computer-generated instruments only. Just changing the velocity and mixing can't add genuine emotions to a track."
"And you need someone to sing my lyrics."
"Right, but vocal's the last thing I consider, though."
"Vocal is essential to convey messages! I can sing for ya. On a dark desert highway!"
"That's why all the birds flew away before I took the other side of the bench."
Palakala just graduated from America seven months ago. All his high school friends were in different cities, and he'd been busy with his art and settling, so he could only hang out with Pollen and me and unwillingly with Craycray. Aya aya, I had to accompany him for lunch.
After lunch, we would meet Pollen and her classmate at PowerDragon Mall. They wanted to talk about music, so they let me join as someone who's a generation older. Well, that kid who liked Pollen, good luck! Because Pollen was quite unpredictable and not active in socializ…
"Say ahhh~"
"..."
"Ahhh~"
"...The fuck is going on?" Palakala didn't want to curse in front of high schoolers, but the classmate was being fed a cake by Pollen.
"Oh, so we met on the street coming here and we had a chat." That classmate didn't like sweets unless they were delivered by Pollen.
"He's like a cute doggy," Pollen said with that bruise on her cheek. Apparently, she told her classmate that she tripped and hit her face on the edge of a desk.
"Are you called Dumdum or something?" I squinted and raised my chin. Ain't no way that bruise looked anything like what Pollen said.
"Ah, Craycray calls me that."
"Good job, my daughter!"
"That bruise gives you such a sense of imperfection, and that is a charming individuality." Dumdum smiled like a sunny boy in the basketball field at Pollen. "It's rebellious and mysterious, but fragile and hapless, which makes people want to protect."
"Dang, I've never seen someone using so many adjectives in a normal conversation." Well, I enjoy literature.
"If anything, I wish you didn't have this bruise."
"Awww, thank you." Pollen's iconic smile that meant "meh" didn't contort.
"She's not feeling anything. Pollen only shows different expressions around Craycray, who mindfucks everyone," Palakala thought. "It's more like that she's…"
"Dumdum, do you have any bigger siblings?" She didn't ask about siblings in general.
"...She's treating him as a pet!"
...
"We were just touring around the Southern part of China, visiting bars mostly unannounced to perform. We were nameless, but we built fanbases in many cities, performing covers and sometimes originals," I said. It was pleasing to see these youngsters listening with complete focus and interest. "Label records invited us, but we wished to release indie music."
"Aw, indie." Dumdum nodded.
"Speaking of which, did you listen to Twin Death?" Palakala asked.
"Yes, but I don't really get the music. The lyrics are about him and his…boyfriend, huh?"
"Yep. But to understand the music, I hate to say this, but you need Craycray."
"Isn't it every musician's dream to join a label?
"Not really," I said. "What we always aimed for was to create music that has no limit. Moreover, good music takes time to make, and you know the labels in China; they want an album a year. That's the charm of indie music!"
"Sounds like you are into the music itself and not just the lyrics." Palakala arched his brows at me. I knew this guy, but when any gay did that to me, I would get goosebumps.
"Maybe! But life in the convenience store is going swimmingly, and there is no need for me to grab the drumsticks again."
"Swimmingly with Craycray? Anyway, it's becau—"
"How is Craycray?" Pollen asked without direct eye contact.
"She forgets everything after two bottles of wine." I shrugged. That was one good thing about Craycray compared to my other daughter.
"Well, it's because our lives are dandy; we look into art," Palakala said.
"I would agree!" Dumdum added. "Nothing was challenging in school for me anymore, so I began listening to music, and two artists really changed my life."
"Huh? No offense, but you look like the type to HAVE challenges in your studies." I peered.
"He speaks out everything in his mind like his daughter, huh? The only thing Craycray wouldn't add is, 'no offense.'" Palakala looked at me abnormally. Why the heck?
"Nah, I was ranked number 29 in my last monthly exam," Dumdum said.
"Really!?!? I was ranked 136." Pollen finally got rid of her ceremonious smile before rubbing his head like he was a dog. "Can I study with you?"
"Yes!"
"Noice! He grasped his chance." Palakala and I thought.
"But, on one condition!"
"The fuck!? Fuck conditions when going for a girl, bruh!!!"
"Please join our band!!"
All the eyes turned to Pollen. Her smile remained, but her pupils shrank. Why did she look like a psychopath just now?
"You... You play music, too?" Palakala asked what I didn't dare to ask, because Pollen didn't look happy at all when Dumdum proposed that.
"Not really. I just listen to lots of music," Pollen explained.
"But, you played guitar in our—"
Pollen stuffed the rest of her cake in Dumdum's mouth and rubbed his head.
"Umm... Do you...not enjoy guitar or…" Palakala was oddly persistent in asking, which I didn't expect.
"It's that... I'm focusing on school now. I don't want to spend time on other things."
"You're spending lots of time with…Craycray though." Palakala played with his fingers and bit on his straw. If he was feeling uneasy, why was he pressuring Pollen!?
"Do you want anything?" And above Pollen's smile were two psychopathic eyes and a frown.
"I'm...trying to look for band members, or at least instrumentalists that help me with the music that I already made demos of with computer-generated instruments."
"I'm down!" Dumdum.
"I just started playing guitar, though. I don't even have one at my house." Pollen.
"I'm just a humble lyricist." Me.
"Uhhh. How do I say this?" Palakala's straw was distorted like American cops' batons that they used to hit innocent people. "I don't want to find even semi-professionals or very experienced guys. I want the crew to grow together. I don't want shortcuts or having someone ahead of me."
"That's a lot you're asking for as a noob." I tutted at the noob.
"Hey, that's what I'm striving for, too!" Dumdum said. "Ezra and I are just high schoolers in practice rooms, but we aim to be professionals! We also want to find talented but inexperienced enthusiasts."
"Avid musicians—"
"Isn't it fun to have amateurs that no one anticipated to become Blue Giants? A star that burns blue flames in live houses, which weren't transparent like average bands. You know, I think I do get why record labels aren't great, because everyone chokes you, yet they want you to breathe."
"The heck?" Palakala didn't understand Dumdum.
"He's saying how listeners want unconventional music, and they stop following as soon as musicians stop publishing." But I understood.
"Experienced musicians often know that feeling, so they prefer surviving instead of burning themselves."
"...Buddy, please translate."
"Musicians make conventional music regardless."
"I began listening to music because of the lyrics, too, Buddy, and music these days just has everything horribly executed," Dumdum continued.
"Hey, when you said two artists inspired you, who were they?"
"Luo Dayou 罗大佑 and Cui Jian 崔健."
"Oh wow. I didn't expect that you would listen to such old fellas." I finished my coffee.
"Yeah, especially... What the? You finished your beverage so fast. Do you want something else?" Dumdum insisted on paying, mentioning more than once that he came from a wealthy family.
"Nah, I'm good. What did you learn from their lyrics?"
"Luo Dayou mostly gives a bunch of evidence for a phenomenon, and when he directly criticizes the phenomenon, he uses very abstract and creative ways to describe the problems."
"Yes! Palakala, how would you describe his lyrics?"
"Uh, he mostly criticizes how technologies were changing the world?"
"Ha. You see, Dumdum pointed out how it was written rather than what was written. Many lyricists thought, 'Wow, I wrote an anti-war song. It's so grand and mighty!' No!!" I hated those pretentious songs that glorify themselves with big topics on their surface. If you're going to do that, then show some effort, like using a concentration camp girl's diary as a reference, like Neutral Milk Hotel.
"That goes to Cui Jian, too!" Dumdum inclined. "His lyrics are puzzle pieces. The audiences are forced to think about what the stories are, how the lyrics are linked, and how they convey the message."
"Yes! Oh my god, you're not be Dumdum after all."
Palakala and Pollen traded eyes and shrugged.
"That's what I mean, Palakala. We want to question the listeners."
"Yes! Question!! Because who are we to give the listeners answers? We all have our ways to see things." Dumdum gave me a fist bump. "And the question we should figure out is, why can inexperienced amateurs be better?"
"Huh? Right. I'm not even sure why." Palakala tilted his head.
"I think I know." Dumdum also reached out his fist to Palakala with a cheeky smile.
"What is it?" And Palakala replied with his fist.
"Because we just started burning, and our fuel is still bottomless."
...
The mall had an instrument shop. Inside, there were soundproof rooms for bands to practice, which cost sixty RMB per hour with sample instruments to use.
Pollen didn't want to come. She came because Ezra asked her to meet Dumdum in the first place. Despite how we three men were keen to go, she said she would go home.
"Um, then may I…" Dumdum reached out his paw rather than his fist this time. "…I invite you to our first performance that we'll be performing in Room 06, Banana Shark Instrument Store?"
"…Great. He's trying to flirt by using us to perform unrehearsed shit." I knew Palakala was thinking the same.
"Hm... Fine..." Pollen didn't even try to smile.
"I can see that you're not into playing music, but I respect that and won't ask you why. I know you do love good music though, so all I want is to let you hear some genuinely good music."
Pollen narrowed her eyes, gawking up at Dumdum, who was pretty tall for an Asian man. Then, she raised her hand high to rub his head.
"Heh heh."
"Fine, we can do that." She smiled sadistically. She held out her palm, and Dumdum placed his paw onto it.
"...Is that what Ezra meant by 'Dumdum is humble around Pollen?'" Palakala reconsidered his band members. "I can let sadistic men do me, but sadistic women are satanic."
...
The room was lined with inexpensive soundproofing sponges. A terrible electronic drum set, a borrowed guitar, and a 61-key keyboard with stand and pedal, costing less than a thousand RMB, were provided. The whole room was around fifteen square meters. Craycray would probably hit the roof. At least there were sofas for Pollen to sit on.
"...What do we do?" Dumdum asked.
"You're the one who suggested coming here!"
"I don't know! I'm too excited to do anything now!!"
"How about you just play something to this beat?" I hit the most standard rock groove at a relatively slow tempo, but they did nothing but look.
"…He's not looking at the pads," Palakala thought.
"The beat is so consistent. The rhythm is smooth like a metronome beating," Dumdum thought. "Alright, I'll play."
Dumdum played a song from Green Day. He didn't play solo. He played the riff by strumming. Then, he changed it up by plucking the chords.
"..." Palakala gaped, and so did Pollen and I.
"There. How was it?"
"That was terrible." I widened my eyes that I usually narrow but were actually huge.
"Okay, um... Can you play something more advanced? Like a solo?" Palakala suggested.
And Dumdum played.
"And that was terrible, too." I forgot why I was here.
"Uh, I just started a year ago." Dumdum laughed embarrassingly, peeking at Pollen, who was smiling like a boulder.
Palakala looked more disappointed than he should be. He should have expected that recruiting unknown band members like drawing a lottery wouldn't be this easy.
"I'm willing to practice!"
"Um, that—"
"I'm willing to replace my time studying and basketballing to practice guitar!!"
"That's too much. You have the condition to do what most can't, and you're young," I said. This was because Dumdum's parents were wealthy. "You shouldn't give up on anything."
"Yes! I have the condition to do what I dream of, unlike most! I've met the goals set by my parents, so I'll transition into music now!!"
"What if your grade goes down?" Palakala asked.
"And will you still be in the basketball team?" Pollen joined.
"I don't care about those!!"
...
Were we being too realistic?
"Wu, sorry. I raised my voice." Dumdum covered his mouth, so Pollen rubbed his head. "But, do you know those lyrics that sing about how we thank those who look down on us?"
"Uh huh?"
"I want to thank them, because I am motivated to prove them wrong."
"..."
"I know when something heaves up, something recedes, but music is my dream. I'm willing to learn what's great about Twin Death!"
"Honestly, maybe just me, but I thought you acted a little reluctant when we introduced you to that album," Palakala said.
"Things have changed. I recently read a manga."
"Uhhhhhhhh..."
"It's called 'Blue Giant.' It's about jazz, and it's very inspirational."
"Of course... Young boys motivated by—"
"But there's another cool thing! Images and music have connections! The mangaka isn't super knowledgeable in music, yet I could hear every musical note."
"Aw, lyrics that give listeners images." Me.
"I think he means that music can give images." Palakala.
"Kinda? Well, do you know the feeling of when you scored your first slam dunk?" Dumdum.
"Sports do me. I don't do sports."
"Oh... Well, that's the moment you know, 'man, basketball will be my life!' But that never happened to me, because I could slam dunk since I was too little to have a dream."
"What an unexpected show-off."
"My interest in music was building when I listened to Luo Dayou and others. It rose again when I got my first guitar. Then, that slam dunk feeling hit when reading that manga!"
"That's a little—"
"I don't want your adult talk." Dumdum shut his eyes and mouth before heavy inhales. That retort was also unexpected, and especially to himself, because he was shaking after he said that.
He slid down the wall next to Pollen. Then, he pinched her pinkie nervously with more heavy inhales. She pouted and rubbed his head.
"I'll have all the time in my life to make music. I'm naive to think that everything will go my way." He probably didn't realize that he was holding Pollen's hand. "But, time can never be bought, and I'm not naive. But, why can't I experience that failure before you teach me life lessons?"
"..."
"Who are you to answer for me? Aren't you supposed to question instead, Buddy?"
"..."
"I know the pros of indie music, but there are also cons. I know what Dumdum, this name, means, but I find it cute, so I have no problem with it…"
"..."
"..."
"Dumdum, I'll wait for you to be ready." Palakala smiled. Then, he used the keyboard to play the guitar part of his original song that I've listened to before. "As for my original song, would you like to practice it?"
Practicing a song behind CDs doesn't need much skill as long as one can follow the rhythm. Plus, that could be good practice for Dumdum.
"I... I will! Thank you!!"
"But, things can change if I find a better guitarist. Will that be alright with you?"
"Of course!!"
"My parents supported every bit of my music dream, so I don't understand what it's like to be rejected."
I only knew that feeling by a slight. 119 wasn't highly regarded, but we were bullish, and that lack of expectancy decreased as we shared it with every band member.
"Therefore, people like me might never make great music if I can't understand an aspiring youngster like you. Sorry for what I said earlier."
"It's nothing!" Dumdum exclaimed. "I won't just be brainlessly confident, though. I will practice with all I can. Like I said…"
I looked at the drumsticks in my hand.
"We just started burning, and our fuel is bottomless!"
"I'm inspired, too," I said.
"You do!?" Palakala promptly turned to me.
"I will become the best lyricist in the world!!"
"Oh... I thought you were going to drum again."
"I can always be your backup if you can't find a drummer. Well, I didn't feel anything when hitting the drum just now." I hit a simple groove with a solid drum-fill. "Nope, nothing."
"Aye. How about you, Pollen?"
"Sorry, no."
"Can we at least hear you play?"
"I truly am busy with something I can't tell you guys about. Even if you like how I play, I can't join your band. Sorry."
"Hm. If that's the case…" Dumdum stood up, but was dragged down by Pollen again. "Please come to our practice sometimes. I promise I'll do better next time!"
"Okay~" When Dumdum was down, Pollen could rub his head easier. Seeing that, Palakala's entire face shriveled.
"Pollen." He dragged Dumdum to his side and kowtowed, pushing Dumdum's head to the floor, too. "Please, can you play something for us?"
"This guy is low-key scarier than Craycray when trying to accomplish his goal!" I quivered on my little drum chair.
Pollen was expressionless before her mouth turned into a hook in 0.3 seconds. Her eyes narrowed at those below her.
"...Fine~"
"Fuck. Please don't awaken anything unnecessary in her, Palakala."
Pollen brushed and plucked two well-known chord progressions with no mistakes and stable rhythm. She followed my increased tempo on the drums until it reached the average tempo of a rock song. Three months, she said? And she didn't even practice at home as she didn't have her own guitar.
As for Palakala, he joined midway with his piano solo, free flowing, harmonizing, and providing the bass that was missing. His piano skills were reassuring. Dumdum pondered as he listened.
"Stop." I placed the drumsticks on the snare. "Pollen, if Craycray joins the band, will you join?"
"..." Pollen was hesitating. Good.
"She memorized every bar on guitar. We visited another music shop a few months ago, and she played very solid bass for her first time."
"...I... Probably not."
Palakala didn't turn around from his keyboard, but he was definitely snickering.
"Dumdum, what does Ezra play?" Palakala asked.
"Guitar, and he played longer than I. He's a great singer, too!"
"There we go..." Palakala slid his index finger through his bottom lip. His lips were curving upward.
"One more thing, our school allows outsiders to play in a school band, but only if the band consists of more school members."
We instantly understood. If Palakala and, presumably, I join their school band, they need one more school member. Thus, either they use a school drummer instead of me, or they convince Pollen to join their band.
"If it's only for school performances, then I'm so down to join." Palakala raised his hand. That would be an excellent debut for him.
"Having an odd number of band members is just…odd." He wasn't sure if the school would allow an even number of outsiders and students to attend. He turned to Pollen, and she shook his head. So, it ultimately depended on me.
"...The best bet is to find another drummer. I'm forty. I don't fit your group anyway."
...
Dumdum kept his word. He stayed in the practice room to play guitar as we left. He'd forgotten why he'd invited us today. He only wanted to spend time with Pollen. The turning point was when I told him I was a semi-professional drummer.
"What did you feel about Dumdum?" Palakala asked Pollen.
"He said some inspiring words today. I'm happy for him," Pollen spoke as if she weren't the same age as Dumdum. "I just wanted a peaceful date with him, though. You two messed it up!"
"Arrrruuuuggghhh sorr... Wait, do you like him or something?"
"Not really. He's a fun guy to hang out with." She beamed innocently, but we all knew the image in her head was probably her rubbing Dumdum's dog head.
"Dang it, I don't want to work," I said.
"You're the owner, Budd… Wait… Tomorrow is Saturday, right?"
"Yeah. You have morning shift tomorrow! I'll not trade shifts with you!!"
"I know. Uh..." For the first time, Palakala's eyes appeared larger than Craycray's and mine. He even stopped his steps when our bus was about to leaving in a minute.
"What is it?"
"Nothing..."
"No, tell me."
"It's really nothing. I was just…um…"
"Bitch, tell me or you're fired."
"I mean, it's not a big deal or…uh… AHHH OKAY IT'S A BIG DEAL!! CRAYCRAY IS GOING ON A DATE WITH EZRA!!!"
...
My name is Buddy. We missed the bus, and my crazy daughter is going on a date tomorrow.