[Lin – 10:34 p.m.]
I should pull away.
I should go back inside, force myself to sleep, pretend everything's normal.
But her arms are warm.
And for the first time in days, my heartbeat feels… steady.
[10:36 p.m.]
We haven't spoken since she held me.
The wind is brushing past our hair like it doesn't know what we've done.
What we've survived.
What we're about to become.
I shift slightly, just enough to look at her.
Kao's eyes glimmer in the dim moonlight.
Sharp and soft at once.
"You okay?"
she asks, voice low.
I nod.
Then whisper:
"No."
She smiles like she expected that.
[10:40 p.m.]
Silence again.
But not cold.
Not heavy.
It's a silence that knows things.
The kind you get when words would only ruin it.
She moves her fingers slightly–
brushing against mine.
I don't pull away.
[10:43 p.m.]
"You scare me sometimes,"
I admit.
Kao doesn't look offended.
She tilts her head.
"Because I'm cold?"
"Because you're calm,"
I say.
"Even when you shouldn't be."
She doesn't reply.
Just turns her body slightly toward mine.
"I've seen too much to panic anymore,"
she murmurs.
[10:46 p.m.]
I lean forward without thinking.
Half-asleep.
Half-sick.
Half-alive.
She doesn't stop me.
Her breath catches.
And then—
Her lips are on mine.
Warm.
Certain.
Not soft like a fantasy — but real, like bleeding knees and heartbeat drums.
We kiss like people who don't know if they'll survive the night.
[10:48 p.m.]
When we break apart, her forehead leans against mine.
I can hear her breathing.
Fast. Controlled.
Almost like she's keeping something locked in.
"Lin…"
she says quietly.
"There's something about me I want you to know."
I don't flinch.
I don't ask.
Instead, I smile.
A tired, aching, cracked smile.
And I say:
"I think I knew…"
"…from the moment I kissed you."
[10:52 p.m.]
She closes her eyes.
Not in shame.
Not in relief.
In surrender.
Like a war just ended inside her.
[10:56 p.m.]
We sit there for a while.
The night wraps around us like it understands.
I rest my head against her shoulder again.
Her heartbeat is… different.
Not fast. Not slow.
Just steady.
Like she's always known how this would end.
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