Hey I'm still Morgan Freeman, and I still have to announce this every chapter.
In a plain where Holy water ran through rivers and the rays were blessed by the man himself, there sat a table in the beautiful grass with 2 ppl sitting next to it, and a set of colourful cards laying on it.
Ariel: Draw 4 bitch!
Ariel placed a mostly black card on the table.
Weaver: Man fuck you!
Ariel: You still gonna draw it like a biiiitch.
Weaver grunted before reluctantly drawing 4 cards from the deck.
Ariel quickly placed down his last card clearing his hands.
Ariel: Easy!
Weaver: Wait what?! You didn't say Uno lil bro!
Ariel: So we making excuses for losing now huh?
Weaver: Man shut the hell up and draw some cards before I beat yo ass.
Ariel: Kinda like a supreme beat yo ass when you died?
Weaver: Don't start that shit mf, I beat your ass backwards in death game. The game YOU made.
Ariel: Shiii you right its not your fault that you died to a SUPREME. At least you didn't die thrice right!
Weaver: Oh I'ma fuck you up
Weaver threw his cards away before standing up to throw hands.
Jet: That was pretty funny I enjoyed the references. Anyways that's all my screen time for today- Wait why am I in heav-
---
The night's sky was beautiful, the stars shone brighter than the candles on the tables. That's right, we're brought to an incredibly fancy restaurant where two people sat, enjoying a meal prepared Tonio Tussardi himself.
Sunny: The seasoning is just perfect, might even leave a tip for once.
Nephis: Yeah it's good honey, but I'd rather have your perfect pancakes.
Sunny: Pancakes for dinner? That's another typa low.
A small chuckle escaped Nephis' mouth before Sunny's phone rang loudly, playing the angry birds theme song.
Sunny: You mind if I take this real quick?
Nephis: Yeah go ahead it's fine.
Sunny pulled out his phone and put it to his ear.
Sunny: Who dis?
A very distraught voice escaped the phone, clearly a voice of a loser.
Phone: HELP! It's me Harper and Mordret is in danger!! He's gonna face the ultimate skin walker!!
Sunny: Lil Harpy? Man Mordret can die in a ditch for all I care.
Phone: But this is incredibly dangerou-
Before the sentence could be finished, an incredibly loud explosion like noise escaped the phone, ringing everyone's ears afterwards.
Nephis: That sounds serious, you gotta go somewhere?
Sunny: Yo Harpy what happened? He dead or dead yet?
Phone: I- fuck this man.
He hung up, never explaining what happened to Sunny.
Nephis: Soooo.
Sunny: He can figure it out! King of nothing or whatever.
Nephis: Just go and save your "twin" already, it's not like you've ever called me "gng".
Nephis turned her head and "hmpf'ed" Like in a horrible romance anime.
Sunny: What? No Nephis your more than that to me! I uhh, I don't call you that because your too righteous for those horrible words, yeah that!
Nephis: Than what am I to you? Also dismiss that stupid mask!!
Sunny sighed deeply, knowing his limited imagination couldn't help him this situation.
Sunny: Bottom B at best. Cya.
He disappeared before Nephis could respond to his comment, taking us to a strange land of a scorching sun and an endless desert. Sunny appeared right next to a man with zero traces of hope visible in the eyes, or any emotion at that.
Sunny: Yo lil Harpy what's the word?
Harper turned oh so slowly to his right, facing Sunny with the same expression he held before.
Sunny: What happened? Where tf is Mordy?!
Harper nodded his head in a certain direction, before giving up on his meaningless life and laying down in the sand.
Sunny quickly turned to see what he pointed to, and he quickly found his answer.
Mordret was locked into a dap up with what seemed to be the ultimate skin walker. It was that serious, and Sunny almost decided to lay down with Harper.
---
Ling: Now you might be wondewing why this situation is so serious, especially since a Supreme like Mordet should have no trouble with one vessel.
Kai: Yeah but how will learning about this help increase my charisma?
Ling: You ill Wefer to me as Sir!
Kai: Yes sir, how will this help me with my charisma?
Ling: Fiwt off, you mean Rizz. Like the Wizzler. Second off, learning about Dap up dynamics is the next necessary step after Aura farming dynamics, only after learning both will you be able to understand and utilise the basics of Quantum Rizzics!
Kai: Where did you even get books about all of that.
Ling: Piccolo wrote them recently, I even got the signed ones.
Kai: Sure, sir. Can you explain why the dap up is serious now?
Ling: So while it may seem that Mordret approached Skinny to fwight, they actually both went in for a dap up instead. Can you tell me why?
Kai: Page 67, if both parties look at each other for the 2 second duration without giving a nod, A dap up is initiated. Correct sir?
Ling: I see you studied! Yes this is twue, but it only appwies to friendly dap ups / tournament regulated dap ups. Can you tell me why these two are still locked in the Dap up?
Kai: Because they aren't friends? I don't think harper is a ref either.
Ling: Right, kinda. They awen't fwiends because of a deeper reason. One is a Blood and one is a Crip. You know what that means right?
Kai: Huh? Yeah I know that those are but both of them aren't American or black though! How did a bunch of white boys join such big crews!
Ling: They saw exactly 2 tiktoks about what bloods and crips are, and both chose a side by changing their profile picture to either red or blue. They never affiliated with gangs, they just chill in their gated communities.
Kai: So they're faking it? That's just really cringe.
Ling: Only if you meet real bloods of crips, since they both fake they are also both real.
Kai: How fascinating. What happened after they stalemated each other sir?
Ling: well-
---
Back in the desert, Mordret is still locked with the ultimate vessel. Struggling for his life, and his Aura. Trying his best to avoid looking stressed or to sweat, because that would ruin his nonchalant streak.
Mordret: Damn it! How long do I gotta hold this neutral expression! Can I even escape this? Shit I thought I was about to hit an tuff dap up and destroy some Skinny vessel but why does it have to be the ultimate one, Spout! Not just any Spout though, it was the KBS! King, BIG, Spout. Damn he so tuff
Harper: So you gonna help him or lay down with me?
Sunny: Help him? He's in the middle of a damn dap up stalemate! I can't help him or he would instantly lose all the aura he has collected over the years.
Harper: So hes locked there forever?
Sunny: Of course not, usually a stalemate like this is resolved in less than a second, but in cases were both parties have equally rotted brains stalemates can occur.
Harper: So what's gonna happen?
Sunny: One of them will beat the other, not through strength of dap up, that part was over the moment their hands touched. He has to win in some other way.
Harper: So until then he will be stuck in that stupid pose dapping up a dead guy?
Sunny: The ultimate form Spout! Not a dead guy. I'm trying to figure out a way, maybe convey a message without disrupting the force of nature. Damnation!
Mordret: Is that Sunny's aura I'm sensing? Shit! I can't lose infront of his ass now! Fuck he's stressing me out I might lose cuz of how stupidly short he is. No I can't laugh now, If I laugh at him it will be over! Why the fuck is he so short!
As Mordret's train of thought took a completely different track, he didn't notice his distraction was causing Spout to slowly win over the Dap up.
But luckily there was a hero to save us, a short one.
Sunny: I got it! I know just what tosay!
Sunny: They sold out on size 9s!
In that moment, the slow victory of Skinny was interrupted by the greatest lock in of history.
The great Lock in of Mordret, capable of outmogging Black Pill edits.
Harper: Which ones?!
Sunny: It worked! Since this message wasn't targetted to anyone it doesn't fuck up the force of Aura! Even Harper was drawn into my trap!
Sunny: Air Jordan 1's.
Harper: Fuck!!! I missed them restocking it? Fuck!!!
A tear attempted to escape his eyes, but it instantly evaporated under the scorching sun.
While Mordret didn't react to this information, the pure internal shock was enough to wake him up from the Sunny slander, allowing a comeback.
Mordret: Right, I have to win this. This was obviously code for them being in stock, so if I don't hurry I will miss them. Thanks for the secret message Sunny, you might not be as stupid.
Anyways, I think I only have 1 option left. I have to duel the ultimate form in a soul battle. And while all that is happening I need to stay locked in IRL.
As those thoughts finished forming, Mordret was suddenly transported to a different realm. It was the soul sea off the greatest vessel.
Mordret: Why the hell is the water white?! Is his aspect also divine? It must be, there can't be another explanation for such an unique soul sea floor.
Spout: You dare enter my soul sea?
Mordret: Back when you weren't corrupted you showed me respect... I must end this buffoonery.
Spout: Too bad, I am now a vessel of Skinny and Skinny only.
Mordret: Well! Uhm, I heard people who have good poetry have green soul seas! Since your's isn't green it obviously means your'e horrible at it! Haha!
Spout: Dude you can't just ragebait me into losing, that's just really creepy.
Mordret: Shit! My excellent manipulation failed! I might have to resort to my last back up plan... No! Not yet...
Mordret took a deep sigh, before charging at Spout and landing one clean right hook, shaking spout in his boots.
Spout: Aw dude what the fuck! Why did you hit me!
Mordret:Shit! I thought negotiations were over already! Fuck I messed up!
Mordy assumed his best neutral face, trying his best not to laugh for his next sentence.
Mordret: You had something on your face, I just wanted to be helpful.
Spout: I was gonna prank you and give up! But I've realised Skinny treats his vessels way better! I know you're just gonna eat my soul if I return!
Mordret: What?! What could possibly be better treatment than being apart of my divine soul!
Spout: Health insurance, paid time off, retirement plans, remote work options, flexible scheduling, professional development, bonuses, profit sharing, wellness programs, parental leave, stock options, commuter benefits, childcare support, employee discounts, life insurance, and volunteer time off. Oh I also get to use 3 sugar packets for my coffee.
Mordret: Shit! I might have to consider working for Skinny. No! I have to exploit every vessel I own! I guess only my last resort plan remains.
---
Ling: And after using his last resort plan he won the battle and regained spout as his most loyal vessel, because he was dead.
Kai: Wait what?! What was his last resort plan sir? How did he possibly win?
Ling: I can't tell you yet! It is vewy advanced fowbidden methods! Even Piccolo avoids writing about it in his books.
Kai: You can't just leave me hanging here though! Please greatest teacher I need to know this so I can pull some!
Ling: Fine! But don't tell anyone I told you this.
Kai: Uhu.
Ling: It was... Talk no jutsu with a combination of dog eyes, Of course these were only seen in the soul battle so he stayed nonchalant IRL.
Kai: What did he talk about? What did he say to beat the ultimate form!
Ling: Look! Even just telling you the name of it is taboo! I can't tell you anymore than that about the battle.
Kai: Cmon please!!
Ling: You might get corrupted just by hearing it, best case scenario is you becoming a vessel of Mordret and dying painlessly. There is no way a student as fresh as you can handle the truth.
Kai: I! I understand teacher. Can you tell me what happened after though?
Ling: Of course.
---
As Mordret's hand dropped, the ultimate form dissipated into pure white sparks. Finally, he turned around to face Sunny, who stood there for 21 hours straight watching to see if Mordret succeeds.
Mordret: I did it.
Sunny: Yes you did twin.
Mordret: And it was all worth it.
Sunny: I doubt that twin.
Mordret: Your coded message was clutch man.
Sunny: Coded?
Mordret: Yeah, it motivated me to finish fast so I can get the restocked J's.
Sunny: Did you hear what I said?
Mordret: Yeah?? It was obviously code to motivate me so I finish fast and buy the J's before they sell out again, right?
Sunny: No I was being deadass, they sold out gng.
Mordret: ...
---
Nephis: You were away for a whole day?!
Sunny: I can explain!
Nephis: No need, I already found out what a bottom B is. I asked Cassie.
Sunny: You, did...?
Nephis: Yeah, you shouldn't have been hiding something like that Sunny.
Sunny: What?
Nephis: Cassie told me all about it. You didn't wanna call me that because it means you plan to marry me. I know you didn't wanna say such a secret, but you know I still love you.
Sunny: Yeah I shouldn't hide secrets, it could be misinterpreted.
Sunny: Fuck you Cassie! Fuck you!!!
Somewhere far away, Cassie chuckled in at her desk.
---
And that my friends, is the end of today's chapter, the moral of the story is to never trust in Sunny, he a rat for a reason.
What, you want to know what Mordret could have possible talked about for 21 hours straight? It would be pretty funny if I just ended the chapter here though~
Fine, fine. Mordret spent 21 hours convincing Spout that a lion ladder would beat the Gods of Pokemon.
Of course Mordret convinced him, and Spout willed himself to join Mordret once more, as that is where he belongs. Good ending or whatever.
Anyways, end of chapter for real!
Jet: Can I be brought back now-