I reach out towards warmth despite the fact that I am freezing beyond your imagination; the harsh weather frosts my frail body. My feet are bare–wounded and scarred. I fight through the blankets upon blankets of snow trying to outrun that man, that tyrant of a man. My father.
It's below zero, blood is seeping out through my nostrils, the amount of blood coming out is unmanageable. I can almost taste it. I cannot even fathom what is happening to me at this very moment and why my father would despise me to the point of being willing to murder me. I wipe the blood away from my face with the back of my hand, staining it red. I frantically run through the endless amount of snow. My breath comes out in husks, I hold my chest tightly. The pain is overwhelming my body; the cold air makes it nearly impossible to breathe. I have no time to stop and catch my breath.
After endless hours of non-stop racing through the snow, I seem to have finally lost sight of him. I just cannot grasp the reason of why he would do this to his own daughter. I've always known he wasn't necessarily fond of me, he made that abundantly clear. Even so for him to go as far as to end my life is another thing completely. He's a monster, he must be. I walk around aimlessly, I begin to slow my pace down. Maybe I might be safe now? I spot a tree from a distance. It's the first and only tree for awhile. I approach the tall, wide evergreen tree holding onto it for stability. I peek my head behind it, checking for anything suspicious. It's truly safe! I slowly inch behind the tree to hide myself from him. The evergreen tree is covered top to bottom with thick snow. The cold makes my entire body numb. As I lay my body against the tree, blood slowly trickles down from my feet staining the pure white snow, red. I hold my almost completely frozen hands against my face, attempting to warm myself up in this awful weather. Nothing works. My hands feel so frigid from the unbearable weather leaving my hands numb to the point of pain. I begin to hold my breath, praying to wake up from this, this, preposterous nightmare… This cannot be reality, it mustn't. It has to be some sort of dream, this cannot be my life. If this is a dream my subconscious must be above cruelness.
As soon as I begin to finally start feeling safe, I hear trudging and the crunch of the snow, I hurry back upon my feet and run to the best of my abilities. I'm moving as fast as my weak, damaged and exhausted body will let me go. My body barely sinks down into the snow due to the many years of neglect I've endured from my father. Why should I let this sad excuse for a man assault me? Why should I let my own father to not only continue to abuse me but for him to murder me. To abandon my lifeless body to decompose alone. Why should he get away with this? What have I ever done to deserve this treatment..? I've been nothing but the perfect daughter for him and this is my reward? When he demanded me to be betrothed to a man I had never met, I didn't fight it, I accepted it with grace. I made no complaint to him, not even once, even though he was ordering me to not only marry a man I do not know of but to a man of an enemy country. I accepted my fate even though to a "Lady" it means certain death. I've done everything in my power to make him love me, everything I can do I have done. I've gotten so many compliments from all of my teachers throughout the years, I'm perfect in every way possible. My fiance and I were even supposed to marry soon yet my father chose to do something as foolish as this..Killing me instead of getting the power he wished for? Not only that but ruining my only chance to escape his grasp as well. I was forced to endure being sold off as a product to fix the "war" if he kills me my country will be destroyed. Is his only wish to cause conflict? This is nonsensical. Hatred for my father begins to fuel me,my soul, I cannot feel anything else but pure anger. My steps are becoming faster, my wrath towards him getting a hold of me. A monster, that's what he is, nothing less than that.
Whilst running, I recall my late mother, it's been awhile since I've been able to think about her so freely. I must have been so focussed on my duties as a daughter and as an archduchess, that I had forgotten my one and only mother. My mother and I were unusually close for noble families, we did almost everything together. I cherished her. She was the only one in my life who truly did care about me and now she's gone. She was the one who named me. My name was given to me after my great grandmother, she named me, "Rosaline Dé Anzferd". Her endless love for me appears even in the name I carry with me everyday. It's dreadful to be reminded of her almost daily, I miss her so dearly. Her love for me was unconditional. When she would tuck me into bed, every time without fail she was bound to sing to me. Her angelic voice would ring through my ears, her singing voice was nothing short of godly. I think of a distant song, one I cannot place, one I cannot remember any longer. Although my love for her will never disappear, my memory has. I cannot recollect anything about her, not her eyes, not her hair, not her face entirely. She became nothing but a shadow of who she used to be. No matter how much I attempt to remember anything it seems utterly useless, regardless of how much effort I put into it she is nothing but a fleeting memory. A ghost in my head unable to be seen. She will never be seen the way I saw her ever again, she's completely disappeared. Whether I try or not does not change anything, she's gone. Forever. She departed from this world when I was quite young. Although I can't remember much regarding her, I am sure that she was a wonderful wife and mother. She did everything she could given the circumstances. My mothers death drove my father completely psychotic, changing him into an entirely different person. Or maybe this was who he was all along. He became cold and distant afterwards, abandoning everything that had to do with my own mother and his wife. His rage was visible, the anger in him has never subsided after all these years. He had gone through her entire room, the one where she once held me in her lap telling me how much she loved me. He had the servants throw everything out that had once belonged to her. Ruining everything that we once had. Burning the love I had for him to the ground along with her things. I sobbed at their feet begging them to let me hold on to her once more, clinging to their legs like a rabid dog. Let me remember her still. Let me still be my parents' loved daughter. They had kicked me away as if i was nothing but a pest, a sorrowful maid had given me something that was saved from the burning flames. The kindness that day I will never forget. I was given my mothers special locket, a gold locket with engraving on the side and a floral design. That night I held it until the tears stopped. The morning after her death was the most empty day I had ever experienced. That morning he commanded the gardeners to dig up her garden, leaving not a trace of her existence. Everything that she had was discarded, including me. Soon nothing was left of her, not one portrait was seen anymore. I begged him for hours that day, for him to love me once again, for him to bring her back. Even a glance at my direction would make me happy. That enraged him. I was starved for a week. I questioned why he would do this to me, to us. To abandon his daughter like she was worthless. He destroyed everything that was left of my mother now he wants to destroy me as well? Because I was born of the love he wishes to forget? Although maybe there was never love to begin with. He must have never loved her. He couldn't have. He married her for influence and when he got that we were no use of him any longer. However now that I am of use to him for political influence he's decided he must end my life? Determined to ruin me. I will not let this happen, never will I. I loathe him to the very end of my being. My fiance and I were supposed to meet today, to arrange and become wed. I'm going to die before our marriage.