There had been a light drizzle that evening, but that didn't deter her from making the trip. Her hoodie ended up getting a little damp, nothing too uncomfortable.
She arrived just before the meeting started. As soon as she walked in, her eyes went to her usual spot by the window. Once again, he had taken it. It wasn't a big deal. She believed it wasn't. She tried not to dwell on the matter. Instead, she let her eyes wander across the room and she noticed it was less full. A few familiar faces were missing, no new strangers.
The meetings were never mandatory. Mariam had done a great deal making sure they understood that, always encouraging them to attend when they can. You could miss a dozen meetings and on coming back, she'd regard you with her never fading kind smile.
"We're about to start, could we take our seats kindly? " Mariam's voice echoed.
A minute later, everyone was sat, eyes turned to Mariam in silence. She looked at her clipboard, noted something down and rested in on her laps. Using her rehearsed words, she kickstarted the meeting.
People began to speak, sharing what they had, what they could. Someone said they had a breakthrough in therapy. Another said they were overwhelmed by everything, "Even normal daily activities that are low effort are very exhausting," she admitted. They believed her, she did look exhausted. Her eyes were very dull, her face looked withered, her shoulders slouched.
Mariam always had something kind and encouraging to say. Always. Not just that, the icing on the cake was how she managed to say it without sounding too cliche. She was very creative about her responses, they were well thought out, well put out. And very wholesome. Sienna always found that skill to be very unique and impressive.
The sharing went on, moving closer and closer to Sienna. When it got to her, she talked about how work had been repetitious. "I can almost do it all with my eyes closed." They laughed at that. She went on to talk about her roommates, she told them how it annoyed her how Nia always left the kitchen lights on.
It happened when she was telling them about the call she had gotten from her older sister. It was a light scrape of a chair against the floor. And then he moved in his chair. She watched from the corner of her eye.
The tall new guy slowly leaned forward and proceeded to stand. Without a word, he turned and walked toward the exit door. No expression, no excuse, no nothing. He just walked out. In the middle of her sentence.
No one seemed to think much of it, Mariam didn't react even in the slightest of ways. But Sienna did. Her throat suddenly felt very dry, her eyes blinked rapidly, her heart beat fast and loud against her chest. What had he just done?
She stared at the door a while longer than she ought to have. She turned to the room and offered a nervous chuckle, "Sorry," she said. "I...I lost my train of thought."
Mariam smiled gently, kindly, "That's okay. You were saying your sister called."
"Oh, yeah. That." She went on for another half a minute. Then the sharing went on, Sadie was next. She seemed and sounded excited. She told them about her cat, how it had started eating more and had added some weight. She was particularly excited that the cat was spending more time on her bed with her. She talked about that cat for three whole minutes. Then another two about how school still felt overwhelming.
Sienna wasn't listening to any of it. She sat with her arms crossed, eyes fixed on the window seat. Her heart pounding very loudly.
It wasn't just that he had left. It was that he had left.
She wouldn't have cared in the slightest if anyone else had walked out. But he wasn't 'anyone else' he was him. The guy who had only shared a single line since he joined, a single line that haunted her for days. The guy who had taken her seat twice. Whether he had done it deliberately or not, she didn't know.
She wanted to be angry, but then again, how justifiable would her anger be? His walking out wasn't personal, it wasn't out of malice, and she knew that. She was so lost in thought that Dan had to tap her on the shoulder to bring her back.
It is only then that she realized the meeting had been concluded. She was the only one still on her seat, the rest were by the snack table, others talking near the bookshelf and two conversing with Mariam. "You okay?" Dan asked softly.
Sienna just nodded, got on her feet and walked out without looking at or saying anything to anyone.
Outside, the drizzle had cleared. She plugged her earphones in and played something random. Turned up the volume higher than she usually did, in an attempt to block out her own thoughts. It didn't help.
Later that night in her bathroom, she stood in front of the mirror and stared for long as the events of that evening replayed in her mind. She then made herself mint tea, sat on her bed and opened her journal. Once again, she stared at it for long, without putting anything down. She had a lot that she wanted to write, but she just couldn't bring herself to.
It is only then that she realized how much power this stranger held over her. Someone she had never laid eyes on, not until the previous week. Someone she had never spoken to. And yet, he had somehow managed to take up much more of her mental space than she was going to admit.
She closed the journal and lay down facing the ceiling. She wondered what made this stranger so compelling. Was it his quiet? His stillness? Perhaps it was the silent aura that carried so much weight. Or maybe it was the way he had taken her seat so very casually, claimed it without any consideration of the one who sat there before.
She sat up, opened the journal again.
She wrote, "He left."
Then underlined it twice.