Sienna's mind stayed cloudy for the remainder of the week, despite her constant efforts to clear it. She had a weight on her shoulders that she couldn't really explain. At work, she looked at screens, worked through documents, cross-checked articles and reports, prepared for briefs. Everything was working as it should, eyes reading through lines, fingers typing away, but her mind refused to oblige. At one point, she found herself reading a paragraph three times without realizing it.
She would pick up her mug and stare blankly at her screen for long minutes. The tea cooled in her hands without her ever taking a sip. She only set it down when a colleague walked into her office and handed her some files. She really tried to bring her mind to the office with no success. She opted for some fresh air, leaving the office and going to the rooftop for a couple of minutes.
Another colleague was up there, one of the assistants from the statistics department. After a while he offered her the cigarette he had, "Seems like you could use it," he said blowing out the smoke that instantly disappeared in the wind. She looked at it for a while, as if contemplating.
"No, thanks," she responded and turned her face to the bustling city.
"Hmm," the gent grunted and slid it back between his lips.
She closed her eyes and felt the wind blow against her skin, the scent of the cigarette in the air, the sound of chaos in the city below. She felt it all. "I see why you like that chair so much." The voice echoed from the back of her mind just as she was about to open her eyes.
"Fuck!" She muttered under her breath with a heavy exhale.
"Damn!" He exclaimed as he stubbed out his cigarette on the concrete wall. Blowing out the last of the smoke, he turned to Sienna and watched her for a while. "You wanna talk about it?"
She didn't respond, just shook her head and leaned on the wall with her elbows. The guy did't push it, just stood there for a second or two then walked away, leaving her to her thoughts.
She stayed up there for ten more minutes, cursing herself for not being able to take her mind off him. What had he done to earn so much space in her thoughts? Better yet, was he thinking about her as much as she was? She sat with that thought for a while before going back to her office.
By evening, she felt exhausted. She told herself it must have been because of all the work she had at the office but deep down, she knew that was a lie. She was well aware that most of her energy was used up thinking about Elmer, and the rest trying not to.
Saturday offered her a more solid distraction. Her sister, Ciara, had invited her for a picnic and later on a movie.
"We'll have fresh bread and strawberries," Ciara has said excitedly over the phone.
Sienna arrived to the park with a blanket and a small bluetooth speaker. The contributions that didn't require too much thought but would really come in handy at one point or another.
The park was vibrant, families out in groups, cracking jokes and laughing, couples on benches, children running around, dogs chasing frisbees. It all felt very alive.
The two sisters found a nice shade under a tree and Sienna spread her blanket, and they unpacked everything from Ciara's basket together.
They ate, talked, laughed genuinely. Sienna was fond of her sister, they had a connection that ran really deep, despite Ciara being six years older.
With soft music from Sienna's speaker, Ciara talked most of the time. She talked about a colleague from the office who no one liked, about her new apartment. "You have to come visit," she said pressing Sienna's arm for emphasis. She talked about getting a goldfish.
"Poor fish," Sienna laughed biting into a strawberry.
"Heyy, that's not so nice," Ciara cried punching her sister lightly. "I'll take good care of it this time. Last time was an accident," she protested.
The exchanges between them were very pleasant. Sienna appreciated it, more than her sister would ever know. It was all genuine, it was one of those times she didn't need to smile out of obligation, or talk to fill a weird void of silence. They would just sit in silence and they were both content with that.
They lay on their backs and studied cloud patterns or whatever people did when they looked up there.
After a long while of silence, Ciara turned her head to her sister, "Wanna tell me what's on your mind?"
Sienna didn't turn, "Hmm, what do you mean?"
"You're somewhere else," Ciara pointed out, half smiling. "Have been all afternoon."
"I've been right here C, eating your strawberries," she laughed.
"Come on Sienna," the sister cried. "Don't do that with me, don't dodge this."
For the first time, Sienna turned to her sister, looked into her eyes and saw the traces of genuine concern. She then turned and continued watching the clouds.
"You've been off, and I am not the only one who noticed."
That made her turn her head again, this time holding the gaze for longer.
"What do you mean?"
"A few weeks ago you were at mom's and dad's," she reminded her. "They noticed it too, mom called me."
Sienna took a deep breath in and sat up crossing her legs. "Work's just busy C, you know how it gets this time of year."
Ciara wasn't convinced, not in the slightest, and she made sure Sienna was aware of it. Her face painted a vivid picture. But she knew her sister, no amount of pressure would make her spill if she didn't want to.
As the afternoon stretched into evening, she steered the conversation elsewhere. But once in a while, she looked at her sister, hoping that she might confess what was burning on the inside.
She never did.
"You should come sleep over at mines," Sienna offered as they alighted from the cab and into the movie theatre.
"Hmm?" Ciara hummed.
"After the movie, we should go at mines. You've never been you know." Sienna looked at her sister, studying her.
"I'll think about it," Ciara replied as the two girls walked to their seats.
"Yeah, sure," Sienna laughed, almost sarcastically. Knowing her sister, she knew she was already bought.
The theatre filled up pretty quick, twenty minutes later, everyone was sat and the noise was dying down. Ten minutes later, all the lights died down and the huge screen lit up. Ciara shifted beside her, and for once, Sienna let herself lean into the comfort.