There's a saying: If I'm not embarrassed, the embarrassment belongs to everyone else.
"Lady Ulti is peerless!!"
With heart-shaped flags and flower fans in hand, Good and his four buddies enthusiastically shouted slogans praising Ulti.
They were in peak form—
So much so that they quickly became the center of attention on the battlefield.
Even Yamato, locked in intense combat, couldn't help but glance over. Her eyes instantly turned into shining stars.
"Whoa whoa whoa! So cool!!"
Jealousy.
She really wanted friends like that cheering her on from the sidelines.
But sadly… she didn't have a single one.
Everyone who once tried to be her friend had been killed by her father. Eventually, no one dared come close.
Her heart sank with loneliness.
And in battle, emotional swings can be fatal.
"An opening!"
Ulti seized the chance, swinging her weapon to knock Yamato's kanabo aside. In the same instant, she transformed into her Pachycephalosaurus hybrid form and pinned Yamato by the shoulders with her claws.
Crap!
Yamato knew she was in danger. She struggled, but had no strength left. Seeing Ulti's forehead glimmer with Armament Haki, she knew exactly what was coming.
"Ulti Skull Cannon!!"
"Armament Haki—Hardening!"
BANG!!
Their foreheads collided violently.
"Urgh!"
Yamato's head snapped back, her eyes rolling.
By some standards, rolling eyes means defeat—but as the Oni Princess, after enduring years of brutal training under her sadistic father, her resilience was maxed out.
The blur in her eyes quickly focused again.
"Hiss—That hurts!"
She gritted her teeth and saw Ulti powering up for another headbutt.
Yamato tensed her muscles.
Let's go!
BANG! BANG! BANG!
With each crashing forehead strike, both girls grew more dizzy—but neither backed down. Their relentless clash created afterimages that made the scene look surreal.
Ora Ora Ora & Muda Muda Muda!!
CRACK!
The sound of breaking bone rang out.
They froze, locked forehead-to-forehead, both gasping for breath as blood dripped from the point of impact.
"My skull broke yours!"
"Yours broke first!"
They glared into each other's eyes, both seconds away from collapsing—but refusing to lose the war of words.
No way I'm backing down!
I'm tougher than you!
Like a pair of rams, they locked horns—literally—sparks flying from their grinding horns.
The scene was so bizarre that nearby pirates just stood there, completely stunned.
Now's the time!
"Lady Ulti, I'm coming to help!"
Good roared and charged into the fray.
Had he interfered earlier, both would've seen it as disrespect—but now, both fighters were on the verge of collapse. They needed outside help to break the stalemate.
Heh… just as planned.
Sure enough, Ulti's spirit surged when she heard Good's voice behind her. She pushed harder against Yamato and even had the energy to gloat.
"Ha ha ha! You're finished, Yamato!"
"Damn it!"
Yamato cursed silently.
Ulti had loyal underlings she had no one. No one would save her. She was going to lose, and there was nothing she could do.
"I'm sorry, Lady Yamato."
Good grinned cruelly as he leapt up behind Ulti, raising his door-sized greatsword high, aiming straight for Yamato's skull.
Heh… time to crack your melon.
"I've lost,"
Yamato closed her eyes, resigning herself.
But locked in a horn duel, Yamato's sudden surrender threw off the balance. She slipped backward.
Ulti took her place.
THWACK!
The greatsword slammed directly into the back of Ulti's head.
Thud!
Ulti collapsed in front of Yamato, the sword embedded in her skull. She died peacefully.
...
The battlefield went silent.
Good stared at Ulti lying facedown, the sword still stuck in her head. Across from her, Yamato looked equally stunned.
Shit. I hit the wrong one!
Why'd this blockhead have to dodge just then!?
I'm screwed—
Wait…
Think positive. If Ulti is out, then all the credit and bounty goes to me.
As for the mistake…
Just find a scapegoat!
Good picked up Ulti's limp body, then turned to Yamato with a face full of grief and rage.
"How dare you use Lady Ulti as a shield, Yamato! That's despicable!"
"Huh? Me?!"
Yamato looked dumbfounded.
Wasn't it clearly your fault?!
Why does this feel oddly familiar…?
The pirates around them especially the Ulti Fanclub finally "understood" what happened.
So that's what it was!
Outrage exploded.
"Too despicable!!"
"Lady Ulti, nooo!"
"I almost doubted Big Bro Good…!"
No, you were right to doubt me, Good muttered inwardly.
Thank God pirates are dumb.
Operation Damage Control: Success.
Now then…
Good gently laid Ulti down and yanked his sword free, pointing it at Yamato.
Sorry, Lady Yamato.
"How dare you knock out the world's cutest Lady Ulti! Prepare to pay!"
"I didn't Wait, hold on—"
Yamato tried to protest, but Good had already lunged. His massive sword struck her raised kanabo with crushing force, making her arms go numb and forcing her to retreat.
Under normal circumstances, this would've been nothing to her—but now she was exhausted.
And worse—starving.
The sword kept swinging, wild and relentless. No skill, just brute strength.
I just want sashimi… so bad…slurp…
CLANG!
Yamato's kanabo flew from her hands.
She staggered back, exposed.
But Good didn't follow up immediately. Instead, he twirled his greatsword and stabbed it into the ground.
A strange pulse rippled beneath the earth.
"What's he doing?"
Yamato sensed danger. She tried to focus, but she couldn't maintain Observation Haki in her condition.
Her skin tingled.
Crack , crack—
She twitched. Her ears caught something—she looked down.
The ground was splitting open.
Something was rising from beneath!
She wanted to dodge, but her body refused to move.
"Cliff-Crushing Sword!!!"
With a roar, a jagged stone pillar burst from the earth, glowing with cold light—
and stabbed Yamato straight in the butt, launching her skyward.
"WAAAHHH!!!"
Her scream echoed through the mountains.