Chapter 10: The Most Essential Containment
Returning to my humble abode felt like a condemned man visiting his cell one last time. Not that I had much to pack—months of corpse-fondling had left me surprisingly well-equipped with ninja tools and food pills. I could probably survive in the wilderness for a month without breaking a sweat, assuming I didn't die horribly first.
The real reason I'd come back was far more practical: I had corpse-touching quotas to fill.
After that embarrassing incident where I'd nearly wasted perfectly good opportunities, I'd developed a strict policy of saving three touches for the end of each day. If no premium bodies showed up by nightfall, I'd settle for whatever generic corpse was lying around.
Waste not, want not, as they say.
I really didn't want to leave Konoha. The morgue was comfortable, the work was steady, and I had a beautiful dream of spending the entire Third Shinobi World War in my nice, safe basement surrounded by people who were already past the point of trying to kill me.
But this mission did involve recovering Konoha shinobi remains, which meant potential loot—I mean, 'honoring our fallen comrades'. So it wasn't completely terrible.
I just had to trust that Hiruzen wasn't completely lying about this being a low-risk operation.
Famous last words, right there.
After collecting my daily rewards and trudging to the village gate, I found Kakashi and the other two already waiting with the patience of people who had better things to do.
"You're late," Kakashi stated with all the warmth of a funeral announcement.
"Haha, sorry, sorry," I replied with my most disarming grin. "I accidentally lost my way on the path of life."
The slight twitch at the corner of Kakashi's eye was absolutely worth it. Even behind that mask and underneath all that emotional repression, he was still just a kid—an incredibly talented, psychologically damaged kid, but a kid nonetheless.
"The mission is urgent," he said, clearly choosing to ignore my reference to his future catchphrase. "We'll discuss details en route."
He flashed his exit papers to the gate guards and took off like his pants were on fire. The rest of us followed, because apparently that's what we were doing now.
As we ran, I got properly introduced to my new teammates—the ones I'd be dying alongside in the near future.
Ito Shu was a chunin with perception abilities who'd somehow survived *five* missions with Kakashi. Either he was incredibly lucky or genuinely competent. Possibly both.
Imai Kuriyama was a genin medic-nin who'd managed three missions with our fearless leader. Given Kakashi's track record, she was practically a statistical miracle.
So that's how it works. Either you got fed up with Kakashi's charming personality and requested a transfer, or you ended up as a permanent resident of my workplace. No middle ground whatsoever.
The thing about Kakashi was that his father's suicide had twisted him into a walking embodiment of "mission first, everything else second." In his mind, any shinobi who couldn't complete their objective was worthless garbage. It was exactly the kind of mindset that made Danzo salivate with anticipation.
But Hiruzen seemed convinced that underneath all that darkness, little Kakashi still had sunshine in his heart. He just needed someone to crack open the shutters.
Good luck with that, old man.
---
By the time the sun set and the moon took over night duty, we'd reached the eastern border of Fire Country. The atmosphere had shifted from "routine mission" to "we might actually die out here."
"The closer we get to the border, the more dangerous it becomes," Kakashi announced, slipping into captain mode. "Shu, you're on perception duty."
"Roger."
"Kuriyama, if fighting breaks out, stay back and look for opportunities to provide medical support."
"Understood."
Then his dead-fish eyes landed on me, and I could practically see him trying to figure out what to do with the weak link.
"You... just try not to die. If you can keep one enemy busy, that would be ideal."
"Got it," I replied cheerfully. *Keep one enemy busy.* That I could definitely manage.
"I'll handle the heavy lifting," Kakashi concluded, which was probably for the best since he was the only one among us who could actually fight his way out of a paper bag.
We crossed into neutral territory, slowing our pace to conserve energy while staying alert.
---
Meanwhile, in a forest somewhere in Hot Springs Country, four Mist ninja were having their own little strategy meeting.
"These Konoha bastards sure know how to run," one of them grumbled. "Tousou Yaito carved them up pretty good, but they still made it to shore."
"They're probably dead by now anyway," another replied dismissively. "We just need to grab the intel and get out."
"Must be some serious information if the Tailless Tailed Beast Kisame Hogisaki himself is keeping Konoha's forces busy," a third chimed in. "Otherwise we'd be neck-deep in enemy reinforcements by now."
Their casual banter was interrupted by their squad leader—a grim-faced man methodically cleaning his sword. The blade gleamed wickedly in the moonlight before disappearing back into its sheath with a sharp click.
"Enough chatter," he growled. "Find the Konoha ninja, recover the intelligence, and get out. We're in enemy territory, and if they catch us, we're not going home."
"Won't be hard to track them down," one of his subordinates said with a predatory grin. "I can smell their blood from here. Konoha ninja don't know how to properly manage a blood trail."
"Heh, amateurs."
---
We found them.
The tree hollow was marked with one of those subtle Konoha identification symbols that let you know you'd found the right place. Shu took one look inside and shook his head grimly.
Dead. Of course they're dead.
Kakashi disarmed the perimeter traps and squeezed into the hollow. I followed, trying not to think too hard about what we were about to find.
Three bodies lay in congealed pools of their own blood, carved up like practice dummies. The wounds were brutal but professional—whoever had done this knew exactly how to make people suffer before they died. Still, the fact that they'd made it this far with injuries like that was honestly impressive.
More importantly for my purposes, I could see the telltale glows of loot hovering over the corpses. A full team of chunin and jonin, probably specialists in stealth and reconnaissance. And unless I was mistaken, one of them was sporting an Uchiha clan symbol.
Jackpot.
"Someone's coming!"
Shu's warning cut through my mental celebration. I quickly produced a sealing scroll and stuffed all three bodies inside without ceremony. This was neither the time nor place for a proper looting session.
We emerged from the hollow to find the others in combat positions, weapons drawn and ready for trouble.
"Bodies secured?" Kakashi asked tersely.
I nodded.
"Then we're leaving. Now."
We turned to run, because discretion really was the better part of not getting murdered in a foreign country. Unfortunately, our opponents had other ideas.
*Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!*
High-speed shuriken came spinning out of the darkness, forcing us to halt and regroup. We ended up standing back-to-back in a defensive formation, scanning the treeline for threats.
Four Mist ninja materialized from the shadows, surrounding us with the kind of professional efficiency that suggested this was going to hurt.
No words were exchanged. When ninja from different villages met in hostile territory, there was really only one possible outcome: violence.
"Fight!" Kakashi barked, launching himself at the nearest enemy without waiting for acknowledgment.
Shu and Kuriyama followed his lead, trying to create an opening for me to escape the encirclement.
"Heh, just a bunch of Konoha brats," one of the Mist ninja sneered, slowly drawing his sword to meet Kakashi's charge.
His expression changed real quick when Kakashi suddenly accelerated, the White Fang blade turning into a streak of silver death aimed directly at his throat. Our boy was going for the quick kill, hoping to capitalize on their overconfidence.
But the Mist squad leader was already moving, his own sword intercepting Kakashi's strike with practiced ease.
"You're White Fang's son, aren't you?" he said with the kind of excited bloodlust that made normal people very uncomfortable. "Konoha's so-called genius?"
Meanwhile, Shu and Kuriyama engaged their own opponents, leaving me face-to-face with the ninja Kakashi had originally targeted. He looked... displeased.
"Didn't expect a bunch of Konoha kids to have some actual skill," he snarled, settling into a combat stance.
"You're not too shabby yourself," I replied, matching his posture.
He seemed to appreciate the compliment, his expression shifting to something approaching respect.
"We're not like you blood mist weaklings—"
And that's when I turned around and ran like my ass was on fire.
"What the hell?!"
This was the essence of containment, people! Kakashi had said it himself—just keep one enemy busy. He never specified 'how' I was supposed to keep them busy.
Leading some poor bastard on a merry chase through the forest while his teammates fought for their lives? That was keeping him plenty busy, thank you very much.
Sometimes the most effective strategy was also the most practical one.