Tiffany Haddish Presents: Kids Have Amnesty…SAY…What!?
Kids Review: Law & Order SVU 2 SUV—The Equalizer Effect
Inspired by the fearless humor of Tiffany Haddish. For more, visit tiffanyhaddish.com.
Scene: Classroom or Living Room, Script Pages in Hand
"Alright, detectives! Today, you're the real judges. We've got a wild TV script here—there's crime, spies, secret codes, and even a guy named Lewis who's basically the boogeyman for grown-ups. I want you to listen, then tell me: What do you think about these characters? Who do they remind you of in real life? And be honest—no time-outs, no filters, no mercy!"
Olivia Benson
Script Personality: Strong, haunted, never gives up, always trying to help people even when she's hurting.
Kids' Feedback:
"She's like the mom who never sleeps and always knows when you're lying."
"She'd be the principal who actually listens to you, but also scares you a little."
"If she was a real person, she'd probably be my friend's mom who always brings snacks but also has that 'I'll ground you for life' look."
"She's the person who would find your lost homework, but make you write an essay about it after."
Anna Dr-umpill Imstillskin
Script Personality: Panicked, desperate, feels like nobody believes her, sees conspiracies everywhere.
Kids' Feedback:
"She's like the kid who always says the teacher is out to get them."
"My little brother when he can't find his toy and thinks it's a government plot."
"She reminds me of that one aunt who always says her phone is listening to her."
"She'd be the friend who thinks the lunch lady is spying on us."
Fin & Velasco
Script Personality: Fin—sharp, skeptical, always looking for the truth. Velasco—confused but trying, wants to help.
Kids' Feedback:
"Fin is like the gym teacher who's seen everything and doesn't care about your excuses."
"Velasco is me when I try to help with homework but don't know what's going on."
"Fin would be the uncle who just says 'really?' to everything."
"Velasco is the friend who's always a step behind but still wants to play."
Roberta McCall
Script Personality: Super smart, mysterious, always has a plan, probably has 10 phones.
Kids' Feedback:
"She's like the cool grandma who knows how to hack your iPad."
"She's the person you'd call if you lost your dog, your homework, and your house keys at the same time."
"If she was real, she'd be the neighbor who always knows when you're sneaking out."
"She's the mom who has snacks in her purse for emergencies."
Emily Prentiss
Script Personality: Leader, super organized, explains everything with a chart, not afraid to boss adults around.
Kids' Feedback:
"She's the group project leader who actually does the work."
"She's like my teacher when she brings out the PowerPoint and you know it's about to get serious."
"She'd be the kid who reminds the teacher about homework."
"She's the one who color-codes her closet and her friends."
Dr. Jonathan Reid
Script Personality: Creepy, super smart, thinks he's better than everyone, always has a smug look.
Kids' Feedback:
"He's the villain in every movie. Or the dentist."
"He's like the kid who says 'actually' all the time and corrects everyone."
"He'd be the substitute teacher who gives pop quizzes."
"He's the guy who ruins the magic trick by explaining it."
Lewis
Script Personality: Scary, manipulative, but maybe a little sad inside, like a villain who wishes he wasn't.
Kids' Feedback:
"He's the monster under the bed, but if the monster had feelings."
"He's like the kid who bullies everyone but then cries if he loses at dodgeball."
"He's the guy in movies who says 'I'm not the bad guy' and you know he totally is."
"He's the reason the night light industry is booming."
Amanda Rollins
Script Personality: Tough, stubborn, has secrets, doesn't give up even when things get weird.
Kids' Feedback:
"She's the big sister who always says she's fine but isn't."
"She'd be the kid who never asks for help but always helps everyone else."
"She's like the friend who acts tough but cries at dog movies."
"She's the one who would fight a bear for you, but also for your last cookie."
Voight
Script Personality: Gruff, no-nonsense, always ready for a fight, secretly cares a lot.
Kids' Feedback:
"He's the PE coach who yells but then gives you a high five."
"He'd be the dad who says 'walk it off' but then brings you ice cream."
"He's the security guard at school who looks scary but lets you pet his dog."
"He's the guy who says 'back in my day' at least once a day."
Jessica Rabbit
Script Personality: Mysterious, says deep stuff, always seems to know more than she lets on.
Kids' Feedback:
"She's the art teacher who wears sunglasses indoors."
"She's the friend who always has a secret."
"She'd be the cool aunt who gives you advice you don't understand until you're older."
"She's the one who'd tell you 'life is a cartoon' and then walk away."
The Kids' Final Verdict
"Most of these people need a nap and a hug."
"If this was real life, half of them would be grounded, and the other half would be in therapy."
"I'd trust Olivia with my secrets, but not Lewis. Never Lewis."
"The Eye is just like the WiFi password—everyone wants it, nobody really knows what it is."
"If these people were in my school, I'd hide my snacks and my diary."
"They should all just have a pizza party and talk it out. That's what we do."
Special thanks to Tiffany Haddish for inspiring kids to keep it real, and to all the detectives, heroes, and villains who make TV more interesting than homework.