"Shukaku? That guy?!"
"Damn it! Why the hell does his chakra show up here?!"
"You little brat! Tell me! Tell me what—"
Before that furious voice could even finish its sentence—
"Kurama, just behave and stay inside like a good fox, will ya?"
A sarcastic, drawling voice echoed in the pitch-black space.
"I just did you a favor and reinforced your Jinchūriki's seal. No need to thank me~."
"You son of a—!"
"…"
Naruto's eyes opened.
He felt like he had just woken from an extremely long dream.
He remembered hearing the voice of Gaara's pet... and another, stranger voice as well.
That second voice sounded absolutely pissed.
Really, really pissed.
But it had been too dark—he couldn't see who it was.
Clutching his small hands to his chest, Naruto tilted his head, frowning.
"Who was that?"
Why had he even heard that voice in the first place?
Was it just a dream?
"What, what?"
A groggy voice snapped him back to reality.
Naruto blinked and turned his head to see Tsunade stretching and yawning beside him.
"Granny Tsunade? Why are you—"
"Bonk!"
Before he could finish, a fist thumped down lightly on his head.
Tsunade elegantly fixed her hair, smiling as she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Who are you calling 'granny'? Call me 'big sister'!"
"But the Pervy Sage—okay, okay. Big Sister Tsunade~."
Naruto nodded immediately, obedient as ever. Then he glanced around the room.
"Wait... why am I here?"
"You passed out." Tsunade raised an eyebrow but didn't press further. She yawned again and waved her hand dismissively.
"Do you remember what happened before that?"
"Huh? I passed out?"
Naruto tilted his head, thinking hard, and then his eyes lit up.
"Oh right! Gaara's pet said it had a present for me!"
"Pet? A gift?"
Tsunade frowned.
"A summoning beast that can use sealing techniques...?"
What kind of summoned creature could that be?
She had already examined Naruto's body and hadn't found anything majorly wrong. Still, his seal had clearly changed somehow.
She'd never taken Fuinjutsu seriously back when her grandmother tried to teach her, but she could tell—something had definitely been altered.
After thinking it over, she glanced sideways at the now fully energized Naruto.
Fine. I'll let Jiraiya take a look later.
She sighed and shook her head. Her brief serious demeanor disappeared as she returned to her usual laid-back self.
"Hey kid... I heard the winner of the kids' division got ten million ryo?"
"Yup." Naruto nodded.
Tsunade's eyes gleamed briefly with greed.
She cleared her throat and shifted into a "responsible elder" tone.
"Kids shouldn't be holding on to that much money. It's not good for you. Just leave it with me for safekeeping. Don't worry, I knew your mom back in the day. As your elder, I'd never touch your money. You can come get it any time you need it."
Seeing Naruto hesitate, furrowing his brows and looking unsure, she pressed further.
"What? Don't trust me? I'm one of the Legendary Sannin, you know. You think I'd steal from a kid?"
"No, it's not that."
"Then hand it over already!"
"It's just that... the Pervy Sage said the exact same thing to me earlier."
"…"
What the hell?!
He beat me to it?!
Tsunade froze in place. Then her eyes narrowed and she clenched her fists, a wicked smile spreading across her face.
"That pervy bastard... swindling money out of a kid? That's beyond shameless. I have to—"
She didn't finish.
"I'm back~! Did you miss me, Naruto-chan?"
The door swung open as Jiraiya strolled in, grinning ear to ear. But when he saw who was inside, he blinked.
Tsunade?
And her smiling face, eyes narrowed and fixed on him like a hawk... sent chills down his spine.
Wait... is she the—
"WHAM!!"
A fist the size of a rice cooker slammed directly into his face.
"Unbelievable, Jiraiya! You've really hit a new low!" Tsunade shouted as she rolled up her sleeves. "Scamming money from a kid?! I'm going to beat some decency into you on behalf of the old man!"
"???!"
Jiraiya staggered, holding his chest, confused and dazed.
"Can... can I get an explanation first?!"
I don't even know what the hell's going on... and I already got punched?!
He clutched his ribs in pain.
"Also... can someone carry me back to the hospital? I think I'm still savable..."
He swore he could see the First, Second, and Minato waving at him from heaven.
...
The desert night was surprisingly beautiful.
Kakashi lay on his hospital bed, gazing out the window at the starry sky.
After a moment, he silently closed the book in his hand—the "get well gift" Jiraiya had given him.
It was a truly profound piece of literature. He never expected Jiraiya to write something so philosophical after one of his research trips.
"Make-Out Paradise."
Kakashi was convinced that this book would someday become a timeless classic in the ninja world.
As its very first reader, he was genuinely honored. That's why he agreed to Jiraiya's request to lie low in the hospital and give him cover.
Of course...
He didn't really plan to leave anytime soon anyway. Quiet rest like this? Perfect.
Compared to Jiraiya's brutal injuries, Kakashi's were relatively mild.
But given that Tsunade was still around—especially a Tsunade who hadn't won first place in the tournament—he figured it was safer to just stay put for now.
If he walked out of the hospital all happy and healthy and Tsunade saw him?
That wouldn't end well.
As for those weird, sketchy medicines?
He just... wouldn't take them.
He patted the precious book lying beside him.
"Make-Out Paradise" hadn't even hit the shelves yet. If he lost this pre-release copy, he wouldn't be able to replace it. Plus—this was the first print, and it had Jiraiya's handwritten signature.
It was a treasure worth guarding.
Now, it was time for a quick bathroom break. After that, he'd come back and re-read it with a more critical eye. Maybe he could even give Jiraiya some editorial suggestions later.
The restroom wasn't far.
Kakashi felt relaxed and light after relieving himself, walking with a spring in his step.
He was just heading back when—
"Make way! Emergency! Clear the corridor!"
A burst of frantic shouting echoed down the hallway.
A group of medical-nin in white coats rushed past, pushing a stretcher, yelling for everyone to stand back.
"Move aside, now!"
They looked extremely anxious.
"This late at night...? Who is it?"
Kakashi frowned, turning to look.
A critical case?
Did something happen outside?
Could it be Tsunade...? No way. The tournament's over. She wouldn't—
But just as he finished mentally defending her, he caught sight of the spiky silver hair poking out from the stretcher.
He froze.
His entire body shivered uncontrollably.
"Wait… is that—
Jiraiya-sama?!"