Everything is driving me crazy. Qian is driving me insane. Who would've thought that after nine years I would be standing in this place again. I stared at Harriett's family house and let out a sigh. I've been standing here for minutes now, unable to move and knock on their door.
Because somehow I am afraid. What if Harriett isn't here? I've already tried going to her other friend's place, the bridge, and the places where she might go but there's no trace of her.
This was my last resort and I really really do hope that she's here.
"You gonna knock there or not?"
I turned around and was immediately welcomed with a pair of brown eyes, Harriett's eyes, only it belonged to her brother.
"Hi Haze"
He smiled as he greeted me back and offered me his hand to shake.
"Hi Kuya Pierce, it's been a long time"
It has, and this kid is all grown up too, wearing an office suit while carrying a laptop bag on his back.
"I just came to get some news"
One of his eyebrows rose up as he stared at me then to their house.
"Ate doesn't live here anymore, and she's not particularly on talking terms with Mom"
"So she's not here?"
I asked carefully and my worst fears were confirmed when Haze shook his head. She's not here. I don't think she even went home recently seeing as Haze openly told me that she doesn't live here anymore.
"Why? Why are you looking for her? Last I remember you guys had a falling out. At least that's what she told me"
I scratched my nape and just decided to tell him since he might know where exactly she could have gone. I could really use all the help I can get because the more hours passing by the more I get anxious. It's been two days since Harriett had disappeared.
"We reconnected recently since I moved in below her apartment. She left Akira in front of my door and I don't know where she could have gone so I was trying my luck here"
I said briefly summarizing the whole situation. Haze just stared at me then looked down on his feet as if thinking of the whole situation. After a minute he looked up and said the words I would have never imagined him saying.
"Try Kuya Leonel's grave"
He knows.
"You know about Leonel?"
He chuckled before crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"You being surprised made me think that Ate indeed did a good job in hiding it."
As far as I know, I'm the only one who knows about their relationship. Those two were so careful that there wasn't even a rumor between them.
"Ate confided in me years ago, must have been too hard to bear alone so she told me the story. She told me everything before she moved out of the house"
Years ago. Back when we had our falling out. But, why did she move out anyway? And what was that with the non-talking terms with their mom?
"Can I ask why she moved out? And what happened between Aunt and her?"
Haze's gaze went to the door before he walked closer to me.
"Ate and mom had a fight because of Josiah years ago before Ate even broke up with the guy"
So Harriett was the one who broke things up between them.
"What kind of fight?"
Haze let out a long sigh before he walked towards my car which parked not far from their door and leaned on it. I followed him, doing the same and watched as he fiddled with his fingers. His ring finger to be exact, the one decorated by a gold band now. He got married, that was surprising even for me.
"Mom never liked Josiah from the very start. He was always disrespectful and ill-mannered. He treated Ate like his own personal maid but Ate was blinded by his generous gifts and possibly love for him…"
Hearing it now, from the mouth of Harriett's own brother, I can't help but get angry again at what Josiah had done to her.
"You know how Mom's attitude is. She confronted Ate multiple times about Josiah even going as far as breaking up with him but Ate held out for four years. Ate always defended Josiah. Always took his side. So when they broke up. Well, Mom kept rubbing in her face how grave a mistake it was to date that good-for-nothing asshole"
Harriett's temper was initially bad especially when she feels like people keep on pointing fingers at her. So I can only imagine how disastrous it was for her when her own mother did that.
"Mom said some hurtful words to Ate and that must have been the last straw for her. Because the next day she packed up, all of her stuff, everything. She took it and went away and never came back here. She meets me and Dad occasionally but never Mom."
"How long has she been living alone"
Haze let out another sigh and counted using his fingers.
"Five, I think her current apartment is the third move she made since living alone."
"Third?"
Haze nodded.
"She kept on searching for a place farther from here. Must have been too tired to even reconnect with our Mom but I don't blame her. I've got a wife now too and we're still staying here until our house is done building but sometimes she tells me how frustrating my mom could be. Since she nitpicks every little thing my wife does and sometimes that's hard for me to watch too."
She never really wanted to go back. And it looked like Haze didn't know about her depression considering there was no mention of it.
So many things happened in those nine years and now, I really don't know anything about her anymore. She's been living all alone during the possible darkest days of her life.
I must have been quiet for a long time because Haze got up and stood right in front of me. He took out a pen and a notepad from his bag pack and scribbled down before handing me the note.
"That's Kuya Leonel's grave, it's easy to spot since it's right underneath a Mango Tree. She always goes there when she has too much to think about so try there. I'll try looking for her too"
I took the note and nodded at Haze. He just smiled at me in return.
"I'm really glad that you two made up. Ate was really devastated when she lost you, she said it felt like half of her life was taken away from her"
At that, I didn't know what to think of. Sometimes Harriett's words have another different meaning to it and it makes me hope.
Which is the worst feeling I could feel right now.
But if hope will allow me to make sure that she's alive and well then I'll gladly welcome it once more.
Just let her be alive.