"Did you come before?" I ask.
"No."
Then why did I feel someone's presence in that short fleeting moment?
"Aren't you coming? You didn't forget our plan right?"
"No. I'm coming. Just a minute..."
He leaves as quickly as he came. I take a look at the mirror finding a youthful face staring back at me. Not the old girl I hated once. I knew my age right when grandpa said I was three when he brought Nero. And the records say he was 6 years old in 1986. So right now he's 23. Aiden's the oldest one of us... 24, and it's kinda weird to think that Loretta loved a guy 4 years older than her. It must have been hard for him to bear with her childish tantrums and attitudes. Even though this body's younger I feel my head is of a 25 years old. Mature and less panicked.
After finishing dinner I come back to my room to dress finally for tonight's mission. I have a dark brown jeans but I don't have a matching shirt or a perfect belt. I have to look the part...like an agent.
I asked Levi to see me in my room after dinner. He enters stifling a goofy grin. "Oh Loretta you could have called me."
"You're here already, aren't you?"
"Not a message I mean. We're in the same house after all." His pupils dilate for a transient second before he breaks into a fit of laugh at the scene unfolded before his eyes with clothes piled above the bed, the bedsheet is little rumpled, the closet door ajar and the remaining hangers with dresses are in total disarray. "Hahaha...what on earth... What happened here?"
"Can I borrow one of your shirts?"
"Don't tell me you're out of clothes."
I cross my arms straightening my posture in a way that conveys I'm not joking. "I have nothing proper in my closet Levi. I wanna look like an agent or something that goes well with this night mission."
"They won't be a nice fit for you. Your size is small."
"Excuse me?!" I roll my eyes while biting my lips as to keep myself from smiling.
"You're tiny," he gestures with his hands, "don't get me wrong but obviously men's clothing size is bigger."
He shrugs momentarily as if out of ideas for what to say. But a minute later he nods like he's got something. "Wait here."
He returns with a light brown bag. A peachy shirt with black small cubes block printed on it. "This should work."
I take it from him unfolding the shirt.
"This looks very... new."
"It is. Although it's been 3 years I never wore it. I kept it just to reminisce the memory related to it."
"That's why... If it fits me now then you were tiny too back then haha."
He looks away but the ghost of a blush creeping up his face doesn't miss my eyes.
"Why didn't you wear it?"
Instead of answering me he draws out a fancy leather belt from the bag. "With this it'll look good on you."
"That seems unused too. Haven't you tried it?"
"Dad...bought it last year. Also as a kind of apology... I didn't wear it. He probably heard it from Janet that I love this brand's accessories."
I grab it from him. "Thank you...Levi. Sometimes I wish I could help you with the problem with your father."
"It's not something that can be resolved."
I see his jaws clenched when he says that. I lay a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe. But is there anything that can't be..."
"Loretta, I'll tell you what's it all about... Why I want nothing to do with my father. But not today."
••••
The night is so different from yesterday. I've always enjoyed dark lonely nights. Daylight feels frustrating...like a facade to hide miseries whereas darkness—death is the only truth worth believing.
I gaze up at Levi who's driving his Roadster. His face unclouded, poised, illuminated by the moonlight. The front of his hair now messy swaying in the breeze. Ah what I wouldn't give to run my hand through those dark smooth waves of hair?
"Loretta, is there something weird on my face?"
"Hm??"
"You...have been staring at me."
Gah!! "No it's just... I..." Ugh!
He chuckles. "I'm just messing with you. I don't mind anyway."
He's impossible!
Then he speaks in an undertone. "I wouldn't like to be stared at by anyone else either."
Ehh.. what?
He cranes his head towards me. His face is so close to my neck. "Tell me, do you feel otherwise?"
Ah he's so close! Shouldn't he focus on the road? "Uh..mm."
He slows down the speed whispering again, "I know about your secret."
I feel my throat going dry in a second. What secret? How's it possible? What does he know about me?
When I inch a little further from him he sighs. "That you and Aiden aren't like before..."
Ohh so that's what... I hold myself from showing too much relaxation. "How?"
"Ain't I Sherlock?" He smirks at my inquisitive expression.
"It's just—I had to take a decision," I say gravely feeling thoroughly determined in the head. I wanted to focus on gathering the loose pieces first. "Nothing too much is ever good. Not even love."
Something quickly changes in his eyes... Amusement? Curious optimism?
Then he goes, "Says the girl who used to be possessively head over heels."
"Sometimes realisation comes a little late. But it does nevertheless. We knew each other for two years. Is it enough to know someone?" I ask in a pondering manner only so he doesn't feel suspicious of my recurrent open thoughts. In truth I know none of these guys nor even this family.
"Maybe so," he ponders with a crooked eyebrow, "then why not before?"
"Remember you said you felt as if you didn't know me at all— that day?" I remind him leaving space for the possibility that it doesn't take much for a human's mind to vacillate.
"Do you think change is necessary?" He asks.
"It may not be but it's not controlled by humans anyway. Time does irreversible things."
Wait does he thinks that I—Loretta decided to change on purpose? But... a person's demeanors genetic attributes never change. Those who change are forced either by time or circumstances. They never want it in the first place. I was always like this. For me to become like Loretta...to adapt to her true features—perhaps it will never be possible.
"Why are we suddenly getting so serious?" Levi nudges my arm. "Like I said already, it doesn't matter what causes the change—I will accept it no matter what."
At time is like this I find him so reserved, calm and yet dependable. His father said he can be foolish and childlike sometimes but I haven't gotten a trace of it yet.
The moon has now gone under the covers of the clouds. Around 12:45 a.m. we reach our chosen place. We take out the masks to hide our faces.
"What if we get in trouble?" I gulp at my own weird comment. It was my plan after all. But Levi assures, "I have a gun."
He what..?!
As if making sure he didn't joke he says again, "If we see trouble we fire in the air and then run."
My eyes expand at his words. "You have a gun...with you?"
"I'm old enough to own a gun. Besides I never shot any living thing out of fun or practice you know. Just precaution."
"If this mission reaches success... I swear Levi I'll..." I sigh crossing my heart.
"You'll what?"
"Spend an entire day doing nothing," I laugh mildly. "Or going out having fun..."
"What if I suggest something better?" He reaches for my hand.
He has that unreadable glint in his eyes that I can't help asking, "What?"
"Spend 24 hours with me Loretta."
"And?" I ask. "What do you have in mind?"
He smirks mysteriously. "A secret."
We furtively walk to the door. It's locked.
"Do we have to climb over it?" I whisper.
"I may have to "
"Uh oh...now I'm a bit skeptical."
He releases my hand then look up at the gate. "First I'm going. Then I'll pull you up."
This is exhilarating and at the same time—scary. But I climbed a tree once so...
I think of the worst case scenarios when Levi calls for me. "Give me your hand."
I gape in awe. He's already at the top of the iron gate barely managing his footing. "And be careful," he adds.
I raise myself on my toes extending my hand so he can pull me up. The gate makes a low screeching noise and I pray every 5 second for the mission to be successful.
"Levi," I whisper under my breath. "What should I..?" I tremble grabbing him firmly while being glued to his body when I reach the top.
"Now we jump!" He tightens his arms around my waist when leaps downward. Ah! He could atleast do the countdown.
A low whumping sound. And we both land on the bushes.
"Uh shouldn't this place be more guarded?" I ask brushing off stray dead leaves from my clothes.
We are inside the gate now. Phew! That was...risky but I don't dislike this rush.
"You know Loretta, the best place to hide something is to keep it out in open. Either that or they have nothing to guard. Not those kids anyway."
"You're right. This is an orphanage still. And those children remains orphan whether they have a roof over their head or not."
I take in the whole picture of the night scene of the orphanage illuminated by faint moonlight.
"I know how it feels. To not have the feeling of belonging somewhere."
"Mm?" He takes a solemn glance at me when I say that.
Oops! I shouldn't be giving myself away. You'll never know. Not in this life Levi. How I spent eighteen years there and no-one ever...
"Nevermind. My life's rather easy now."
"What do you mean by now?" He peers at my expression.
Dang I slipped again. Why? With Levi I feel so at ease.
"Err... let's complete this task first now that everything appears good?" I drag him to the that dilapidated out house.
"Watch my back. I'm going in," I say turning the rusty sooty knob of the door.
But he catches my fist removing it from the door knob. "We're in this together. Here's the plan. I'm going first, you follow after me."
"No." His pupils dilate slightly at my frown. "Together means together." I grab his hand then pull the door open.
To our surprise there's another door.
"Double door for an abandoned storage house? What's Johnathan hiding really?"
"It locked. And that's a brass made combination lock," Levi adds. "We have to break it. There are too many possibilities and it'll take forever if we wait for the right code."
"What? No!" I scowl. "The door will be damaged and what about noise?" I hold the lock in my palm. It's not wrong to try atleast?
I've done more than ten of times with his phone number digits changing here and there praying for some miracle. Even Jonathan's number and the foundation year of this orphanage. But no luck so far. It's been 20 minutes.
"Do you have a better plan other than breaking?" I ask getting tired of trying.
Suddenly he claps his hands as if getting a mote of an idea. "Loretta."
"Yeah?"
"Try his birthday."
"Huh? You mean Nero? That's... We aren't even sure if it's... Will it be that easy?" I swiftly turn the numbers then wait for a click but it doesn't come. How could I even hope that it'd be this easy?
He sighs looking far in the dark outside. Seeing him on edge I say, "Noone's coming."
"Doesn't hurt to stay vigilant."
Suddenly an absurd thought possesses me like a spectre in the obscured house and I try the combination with a tremendous amount of anxiety and expectancy. When I tug the lock I hear a soft yet grating click.
"It's open! Loretta what did you put in there?"