I couldn't get a word out of him. He loves keeping me in the dark when it comes to things like this.
Although I'm out here with him, I can't help thinking about them... specially Nero. We just got him back and now I feel this strange connection to them—I don't want it to break.
"Amusement park?!" I stare at the huge entrance alongside the welcome sign. The high ferris spins at full speed. I've never went to an amusement park before.
"Oh Levi this is... I've never been to..." But then I bite my lips to stop myself from spilling things again. This habit agh!
"But you've been here once—with Aiden."
Aiden again? I don't like it when he talks about Loretta and Aiden. Sure they were all with her back then but—this bond that I'm able to form among these three and have come to cherish it—I can bet my life, she never had it.
"With you I meant," I say.
He gives me a long look. When his eyes roam over my body I notice an orange tinge radiating from his ears. "I...I didn't said before but—you look exquisite."
I hold his gaze in equal spirit. "Thank you, for today."
We enter inside. Ah so many rides!
"The sky's so blue today, isn't it?" He gives a very boyish grin.
"You look happy and free spirited." I can't stop grinning either. "Oh I'm gonna try all those rides!"
"Didn't you hate them? Specially the spinning cups."
"Does it hurt to try something new?"
"No?"
Let's write a new chapter. This time there will be no death included.
I start running ahead of Levi. "Catch me if you can, before I reach the ferris."
"If I do you'll give me whatever I want?" He yells already sprinting with equal energy.
Waah! This feeling of being uncaged... something I've never knew before. Like a bird who recently got control over her tiny faithful wings.
But Levi caught me just when I thought I wouldn't let him catch up to me. I was careless—engulfed in this newfound freedom.
He almost stumbles into me. I pull him to not let him disbalance but the act causes me lose my footing. "Ah!"
"Got you!" Grabbing my hand he steadies himself. "Ahahaha..."
"Now what have you got to say?" His arched stare drifts lower to rest where my lips are.
Is-he...going to want to kiss me?
But then the ringing of his phone puts a halt to my amorally anticipated thoughts.
"Can't let me enjoy a day agh!" He grumbles at the screen. "Wait for me here." He hands me the ticket.
"But it'll start soon Levi."
"Has it yet?" Has asks quirking his right eyebrow.
"I guess not."
"It won't be longer than a minute."
Just as promised he comes back and we go into the gondola. He's quite punctual. Even though a slight crease remains fixed on his forehead. But now's not a good time to ask about it. I'll do that later when we get home.
He sits across me. I look out of the gondola. "Beautiful!"
He clears his throat awkwardly but a contented smile takes form on his face. "I haven't felt like this in a long time. Enjoying a ferris ride with you..."
I wonder if he ever had a girlfriend, like Aiden had Loretta... After experiencing many of the rides the realisation of time dawns on me.
"Hey how about we grab something tasty? It's almost noon." Levi speaks out my mind. "What are you in the mood for?"
"Some of your favourites maybe? You choose."
His eyes sparkle in exuberance—like he didn't expect me to say something like this. Honestly I want to do something special for him too. It's really not like me—that only I get all the good treatments without returning it. When it his birthday btw? I can plan a...
"Hey Loretta?"
"Yes?"
"How about satay? And those spring rolls..."
"Anything you want to have, I'll have the same." I sneak a message to Nero asking what's he doing and where's he. His response comes few seconds later: "An important task. Don't worry about me."
Okay. If he says so. I should get something for him too.
"What would you prefer in your lunch today? I'm out and want to buy something you like." I type the message.
"Probably grilled salmon or chicken cutlet." He replies to my message.
"Hey Nero," I type the question that I've been itching to get answer of. "Can you tell me Levi's birthday?" I add three dots to express my awkwardness. "It's not coming to my head right now."
"September 2."
"Ah yes it is 2 Sept indeed. Thanks Nero. Bye."
Okay his birthday comes after this concert. I'll have enough time for preparation. But I want to do something special for him right now. Today. How about making dinner for him?
"Are you alright?" His question makes me realise I was lost in my thoughts again.
That's right. We've gotten our food but I don't feel like eating. Why didn't Nero question me why I suddenly asked about Levi's birthday? What important task was he busy doing?
"I was just pondering."
"Still bothered about Nero?" His cheekbones are now pressed forming a hard line.
"How could you tell?"
"Guessed so."
"I...uh... I know Nero will never speak of it even if I ask. Nobody wants to open old cupboards full of ghosts I guess."
He eats silently without a comment.
"It's the same with you...hm?"
He stops chewing this time. "Some other day maybe."
"Mm hm," I mumble. "But I'll be there—for you, when you're ready."
If only eyes could speak... cause right now his eyes are immersed in countless thoughts and feelings. I wonder what happens when all of this will be over. Who will I be in the end?
••••
We come back two hours later. Nero was in his room. Clearly he didn't expect me to buy him food. He was working on a painting.
I watch him putting away his brushes and colors to clear clear the place a little. Then he gestures just me to sit.
I should strike up a conversation.
"Nero." I look at his mouth, occupied in savoring the taste of the salmon, then at his painting. "It's quite unusual and thought provoking...your artstyle I mean."
He averts my gaze but I the ghost of a smile across his lips doesn't escape my eyes.
"So I... umm, I'm glad that you're painting again. You stopped painting. It feels terrible to even imagine that despite living in the same house..." I edge close to him. "I never really knew you. Too engrossed in my own self to notice anything else."
I really need him to open up to me. Even if it's little. Whatever Loretta Knight did to him—to them or anyone, I'm not going to repeat any of that.
He's almost done eating. Yesterday I received an apology text from John again for he was responsible for Nero's disappearance. I accepted it since he didn't really have a say in that—Nero gave him money asking him to keep quiet. I haven't told them yet. And I don't plan to. Some things are better off not saying. But the reason? Only Nero can tell.
"You don't have to feel sorry for me Loretta. I've come to accept certain things— things I cannot control."
As melancholic as it sounds... I can't help feeling guilty. I take his hand.
"I wanted to," his voice quivers. "But in the end—everything... Too many mistakes to let them sink over time."
I hug him. A faint gasp comes out of his throat but he tries to settle in my arms.
"Oh Nero... I will never leave you alone—in estrangement. "I have spend the longest of my life with you—yet I never..." I feel my voice breaking. In this moment it feels like I have become her.
This time he wraps his arms around me. I pull my head back to gaze at his eyes. He presses his forehead softly against mine. "I wish I could tell you Loretta..."
"Shh... I know you will. Oneday," I whisper, "You just need time."
I will make sure you do. I'll give it my everything.
"Let me correct all errors," he states in sureness. "It may disappoint you but I'll make things right."
What is he talking about? Perhaps I need some time too. Come to think of it, it's been a week. Hasn't Aiden become too busy lately? What's his deal now?
••••
I was back in the piano room, staring out of the window again. Levi enters. "You're ready. It's time."
"Yeah." I get up pondering whether I should ask him directly or not.
Levi suspiciously peers at me. "Something on your mind?"
"Stop trying to read me Levi."
"What's wrong with that?" He snickers. "One can always try."
"Ugh... I want just wondering why Aiden— I don't know how to say this."
"Oh I know," he speaks thoughtfully. "He's been spending time with Anne. You know she can be demanding. And Aiden hasn't proven his innocence so..."
"Then why didn't he tell me so?"
"Perhaps he didn't want to disappoint you? I don't know."
"I wouldn't be... even if he was actually dating someone like her." Oh no what has slipped out of my tongue again! Why did I say that?? But then again with Levi—I hate pretending.
"Mm? Why?" His eyes shoot up in surprise. Then he makes a teasing remark. "Unless you have someone else on mind."
I choose to play along. "Who knows."
No matter what the world speaks about Loretta Knight, I know I'm not her. I never dated or kissed anyone in my entire existence. So it's thorny. Having three guys around—one handsome ex boyfriend and a passionate singer, another once hated distant acquaintance currently a CEO, and the third and most mysterious—a flawless artist with a serene beauty and a childhood companion with a dusky past. What would you do if you were given my shoes to wear?
••••
Levi didn't make any more queries about it.
He pulls the brake. The car stops. We've arrived at the studio. Red Symphony. That's the name.
Gosh I forgot to check the contract papers. I'm such an idiot!
"Here we are. Off you go. What are you waiting for?"
"And you?" I ask unable to hide my growing anxiety. Just then his phone vibrates.
"Janet again." He clicks his tongue putting it on speaker. "What is it?"
"We need to talk."
"My hands are full at the moment."
"Levi!" She almost screams his name. "It's not about him. I need to talk to you. Your father won't be in sight."
"What makes you think that I'll listen to you?"
"Levi please!"
"Fine!" He drops his head in annoyance. "Stop eating my head already. I'll be there."
"I'll pick you up when you're done here. Just give me a call."
He turns to leave but stops to face me again flashing a smile so contagious that it pulls the strings of my heart. "You're amazing. Loretta. I'm glad to be on this journey with you."
Wait what? What came over him all of a sudden?
••••
After fumbling through the long corridor I finally reach the door to the office room of the studio.
I see a presumably 35 years old man along with a tall frameless glasses worn chestnut brown haired woman. She could be above 30 too. There are others as well. They look younger than this man here. They all beam at me as if too glad to see me in one piece.
A young man blasts a party popper. Only then I notice the room is decorated with colored papers, confetti balloons and hangers. 'Welcome Back Miss Knight' written on the wall.
The woman with glasses clap. "You've been missed Loretta."
They all gather around me. I recall her voice from the call. She's no doubt Mrs. Colins.