I envy people who can just choose.
You know the type pick something off the menu in five seconds, say "yes" or "no" without blinking, post a selfie without overthinking the angle or the caption.
For me, every decision is a maze.
Every turn feels like it might be the wrong one.
And even when I choose something, I keep looking over my shoulder, wondering if the other option would've been better.
It's not that I don't know what I want.
It's that I'm afraid of what wanting something means because wanting leads to doing, and doing leads to risk, and risk leads to... failure. Or embarrassment. Or disappointment.
And my brain doesn't let me forget any of those.
I've sat frozen in front of my laptop trying to decide whether to apply for something a scholarship, a contest, even a volunteer position until the deadline passed and I convinced myself I probably wouldn't have gotten it anyway.
I've typed "hey" to someone I wanted to talk to and stared at the screen until I deleted it and told myself, "They probably don't care."
I've stood in front of my closet before school, holding two hoodies like they were two futures.
And then wore something I didn't like just to avoid making a choice I could regret.
People think indecision is harmless.
But the truth is, it slowly eats at your life.
You miss out on moments not because you didn't have the chance
But because you were too busy calculating every outcome that might go wrong.
"The fear of making the wrong choice has made me choose nothing at all and nothing hurts more than wondering what could've been if I'd just moved."
Sometimes I wish someone would just make the decisions for me.
Tell me what to wear. What to say. Who to be.
Because the freedom to choose doesn't feel like freedom when your mind is holding you hostage.
But maybe the hardest truth I've learned is this:
Overthinking never guarantees a better outcome.
It just guarantees regret in advance.