Chapter 18 - Chapter 18: The Thing about Trauma

3rd POV:

''Tony, I wanted to talk with you about Ultron,'' Bruce began as he entered the labs.

''Not now, Jolly Green. Hey, remember when I proposed to buy a big plot of land outside NYC and close to Xaviers mansion to make a new HQ?,'' Tony asked him starring at several hologram displays with contemplation.

''No, Tony. I don't remember,'' Bruce tonelessly said while deadpanning at him. He really never missed an opportunity to boast. Didn't he?

''Don't give me that attitude. I can hear the judgement in your voice without turning around. We aren't exactly best friends with the X-Men, but we are allies and in case anyone ever attacks us the city will be sparred, assuming the city itself isn't the target. They can come to our aid, we to theirs and all that. Except... Take a look at this,'' Tony admonished Bruce without turning around, until he made a gesture and 'took' a hologram display and rolled it in Bruce's face.

Bruce sighed, shaking his head at Tony's theatrics and before putting on his glasses and looking at the displayed information.

''It...Has been bought? That is a huge plot of land, to be sure, but I don't exactly see why that is so interesting. There is other land you can buy,'' Bruce pointed out.

''Jarvis, show him the information on the one that bought the land,'' Tony sat down and sipped his coffee.

A new hologram display appeared in the air in Bruce's face.

''Anya Ivanov? And her daughter Liliya Ivanov? What of them? Nothing seems suspicious regarding their papers?,'' Bruce asked them.

''And that is the point! You remember Yinsen, the guy I told you all about?,'' Tony asked him hiding his pain by taking some crumbled paper and attempting to trow it into the bin from across the room. He missed and Dum-E attempted to clean it by spraying it with the fire extinguisher.

Bruce nodded, ignoring the sight.

''I already had everything planned during our escape. The papers I had to prepare for Yinsen, small inconsistencies I had to add so his records don't seem spotless. In bureaucracy sometimes mistakes happen. Less suspicious. Look how she came into her fortune,'' Tony pointed out.

Bruce did just so. She seemed to have come into her fortune by marrying and then becoming a widow of a rich man, one she got her daughter from. The man seemed to come from South Africa and several generations into the past his 5 times great grandfather owned a mining industry. Diamonds. Blood money then. His great grandfather sold the mining industry, not that it really brought them much as the mine were almost dry and moved with their fortunes to Russia. Anya seemed to come from an unimportant family who got lucky and caught the eye of the rich man. As he was now dead and Liliya was the last living relative she inherited everything. Or more like Anya since Liliya was still a minor. They moved to the States and bought the land.

Not only did his family die one by one over the years, by the family were also a bit of a recluse, preferring to keep to themselves. Or at least out of the spotlight. Who knows maybe they continued to make deals behind closed doors with their rich friends, but Bruce couldn't rightly tell.

''It is not exactly clean money, I agree, but I don't see anything particularly suspicious. There are spots in her records, details that don't really give insight and some pointless stuff too. Tony, just get to the point, please,'' Bruce removed the glasses and rubbed his the bridge of his nose.

Bruce was long enough on the run that he had to admit that if there was something suspicious about Anya's records, then he had been fooled. Which was impressive to say the least, since he knew a thing or two about making up fake identities.

''I can not rightly say, if her records are faked or not. They are that good. And besides that is not the point. Do you have ANY idea how much money we are actually talking about here for this plot of land? Which, by the way, is huge. 97 billion $ and that is just the land. Consider that we are leaving out additional costs from construction and such. And she has only found herself inheriting 31 billion $ from her husband, after exchanging all her Russian Ruble into US-Dollars. So where did all the other money come from? As a matter of fact, why come here? Why the States? Now THAT is the part where my suspicions started to form,'' Tony explained, while also rabid firing some questions.

''Maybe she borrowed it, like she took a loan or something, if not from a bank then from a friend, but... I'm guessing you wouldn't make such an issue out of it, if that was the case. What did you find?,'' Bruce asked him.

''That is the thing, I have found nothing. She had some money deposited in her account and the land has been bought under her name. All the paperwork, under her name. All the face to face negotiations under her name. I got my hands on the plans for the building. Whoever it was that designed them, knew what they were doing. It is ambitious and will take a considerable time till everything is built. There are also many blind spots on those designs,'' Tony counted.

''You suspect that she is working together with someone. Fair enough, but why is that suspicious? The more you talk the more it seems she or she and her group wants to start a company. Companies like to keep their secrets. You are no different,'' Bruce called him out a little on his hypocrisy.

''Jolly Green, you are correct in that. But companies also spy on each other. You think I didn't have to shoo away some inquisitive people? I am interested in who covered up the money deposition. I tried tracing it back to the other account. Nothing,'' Tony explained.

''Oh... You suspect Raezen? Maybe it is T-Bug or whatever their true name is. Maybe someone else entirely. Tony, you are a genius at your craft, but the past few years have shown us that the world isn't exactly lacking geniuses in that field,'' Bruce tried telling him that he was looking for a needle in a haystack.

''But you have to agree with me that it IS suspicious,'' Tony tried again.

''It is unusual,'' Bruce corrected,''But when have rich people ever done something the usual way? I agree that is raises some eyebrows, but not the suspicious kind. You can keep an eye on this, if it bothers you so much. But until we have something more conclusive, you are punching at shadows. Can't you just buy out another plot of land close by?''

Tony petulantly turned in his chair with his back towards Bruce.

''Fine. I will not be bothering the others with this. Jarvis, keep me up to date with any developments regarding our friend, please,'' Tony requested.

''Of course, Sir,'' Jarvis' voice came out of the speakers.

''And about Ultron...,'' Bruce apprehensively began. He didn't completely hate the idea of Tony's. A suit of armor around the world to protect the earth from any extraterrestrial threats. But already Bruce was apprehensive when Tony opened up the idea to him about such an advanced AI with such a reach, even if he agreed. But over time Bruce's apprehension only grew. He has watched enough movies when he was much younger and his father wasn't home to know the dangers of a rogue AI. Him becoming a scientist only made the danger more clearer to him.

''Don't get your panties in a twist. I put the Ultron project on the back burner and out of my mind for now. Not like we have made any real progress with it's interface. Anyway, let's get to work, Dr.Green. Jarvis, start a new file. Same as the last project, but increase the number by one,'' Tony instructed and Jarvis agreed.

Bruce let out a sigh. That was Tony speak for 'I'm not making any progress whatsoever, but I am too stubborn to admit defeat, so I will pretend that is only a small temporary setback and that something else has gathered by attention'.

Ultron will not be finished any time soon. Probably never. And that suited Bruce just fine.

Bruce walked forward to start working with Tony on the old device to improve it and attempt to find Loki's Scepter. Again.

---

''You are saying your friends on earth have lost track of Loki's Scepter?,'' Odin asked, tensing on the throne. 'Lost track of the Mind Stone?,' Odin thought to himself.

Thor, kneeling to his father in the throne room, bowed his head even further to his shame at the turn of events. His father instructed him that, while it would be foolish to have too many strong artifacts on Asgard, they should still keep track of them while safeguarding the most dangerous one's.

Thor did not quite understand what exactly made Loki's Scepter so powerful, but his father told him that one day he would explain it to him. When he was older and set to inherit the throne. Some knowledge is too dangerous to be spoken aloud so freely. Thor the dutiful son acquiesced to his fathers word.

Alas, in spite of his efforts and those of his friends he could not find the stone by himself, so he turned to his father in the hopes for a solution before things escalate and someone uses The Scepter for something nefarious.

''Leave me and wait outside for my word. And somebody send for Heimdall,'' Odin commanded.

Thor wordlessly nodded and did as his father bid.

(Several minutes later)

''My friend, my foolish son has proven incompetent in following my word. Use your gift to find the whereabouts of Loki's Scepter,'' Odin ordered kindly, but still with authority.

He could find the answer himself, but that would require him using the Odinforce, something he would like to preserve as much as possible. Besides, he was a King and he would make use of his subjects. Especially when one had an ability to scry time and space that would almost rival his own.

Heimdall nodded at him and closed his eyes to focus his abilities on his task. It is said, in Norse Mythology, that Heimdall can see all and knows all. And that is certainly true to some extent. There are ways around his sight, so he was not all knowing. Not in the most literal sense at least.

For some reason he could not find the whereabouts of Loki's Scepter. No matter. What Norse Mythology did not know, was that he could look through time as well, something he learned to do thanks to studying up on Astral Projection taught to him by the tragically departed Queen Frigga.

May she have found her glory in Valhalla.

Having found his information, he frowned at seeing the Scepter getting destroyed and an unfamiliar yellow glowing stone being hold in the hands of someone named Bell O'Quinn, he learned after some further investigation into the persons name. He also read the location of O'Quinns home.

Heimdall opened his eyes and was about to answer his king, but before he could speak the words a loud urgent knock came from the doors leading to the throne room.

''If it is urgent let them, if not send them away. If it is Thor, tell my son that he still has to learn patience,'' Odin called out.

Surprisingly it was not urgent, but still important and so the soldier decided the kings command was good enough and let the Astral Projection inside the throne room.

The figure quickly made his way to stand besides Heimdall.

''Terribly sorry to have interrupted you, your majesty, during your conversation with Heimdall. Please, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Dr.Stephen Strange, the current Sorcerer Supreme of Earth or Midgard as you call it. I wish to speak with you and request audience,'' Strange politely and diplomatically spoke to Odin. The Ancient One has taught him much, for the brief time that she was still alive. One such thing was, she stressed, how to talk to their distant allies.

He sees many things thank to the Time Stone and he could not permit the situation escalating. Thor would be ... too eager in retrieving the stone and O'Quinn would be to stubborn to relinquish the stone without knowing what it is. And with Thor not knowing about the Infinity Stones...

Well. Things needed his intervention.

''Impossible. I remember a different Sorcerer Supreme,'' Odin said.

''Sadly she has passed away, your majesty. She has chosen me as her successor,'' Strange explained.

Odin's jaw twitched slightly, tensing and relaxing. He looked at The Eye of Agamotto for a few brief moments.

''Heimdall, I thank you for your service. Return to your vigilance,'' Odin said. Heimdall understood it for the dismissal that it was and left after a bow.

''You, Sorcerer Supreme, step closer so we may speak more quietly,'' Odin motioned with his hand. Strange did just so and stepped closer and then closer... and then much closer when Odin kept motioning. 

He wanted to whisper then.

''Heimdall, was about to share with me the information that he found. I know his capabilities. And yet you made it a point to interrupt me. As the Sorcerer Supreme you must understand the danger of Loki's Scepter,'' Odin made it a point to move his eye to look uncomfortably long at the Eye of Agamotto.

Stephen heard the unspoken question.

''I understand the danger of these relics and I, too, am aware of who currently has Loki's Scepter or what is left of it. It is safest in the hands it currently rests in,'' Stephen explained.

''As the Sorcerer Supreme it is your duty to safeguard the realm of Midgard both from threats within and without and yet you would seek to leave that in mistrustful hands. I must wonder if the previous Sorcerer Supreme chose her successor well or if you are still too early in your tenure to properly make such judgement calls,'' Odin criticized.

''The one who currently has Loki's Scepter in possession also has an interest in protecting Earth. Though he may not know what exactly Loki's Scepter is or the Mind Stone as he had destroyed Loki's Scepter, he has felt its power and will not so easily relinquish it to anyone. It is no matter anyway, since the one who has it is beyond its power. There is no safer place for at least one of the artifacts to be. That was a decision made by the previous Sorcerer Supreme, not by me. She has declared him an ally of Earth long before I ever entered under her as a student.

It is no matter anyway what we want since The Phoenix has chosen the man that holds Loki's Scepter as her mate,'' Stephen told Odin.

When The Sorcerer Supreme was talking about someone being beyond the Infinity Stones power he could think of a few names. When he sacrificed his eye, hang himself on his spear for seven days and cut off Mimirs head to the Wellspring under The World Tree he gained wisdom, but also saw visions of nexus events.

Events etched in time. More powerful then any prophecy. The only thing that could be done about them was to determine the outcome, not the events themselves or those leading up to them.

He learned that with his wayward daughter when he found out that she will be a threat to his kingdom. He sought to kill her, but alas he quickly found out that even in death she could destroy his kingdom as her life, and thus her duties and dominion, uphold the natural order of their people. So he banished her to Hel.

There was Chthons Champion that came to mind first and foremost. But a few other names too.

But when Strange said the last sentence his eyes widened incomprehensibly.

''Impossible,'' Odin immediately denied.

''I assure you, that is not the case. I do not know by which criteria she judge him, but she judged him somehow. And now the two are together,'' Stephen explained calmly. It was certainly a shock, when he stumbled upon this knowledge in a conversation during his meditation to discern future threats. The two were not threats... but they could turn into one. One much more likely then the other, so he had to handle the matter very delicately. It also helped that in doing so, his job and life would be easier since he now would have two powerful allies to rely on in times of need.

He would like to have allies, even if his allies had... strange relations.

''You do not know what you speak off. You do not understand the The Phoenix Force. No one does and certainly no one will tame it by simply laying with it. Speak the name to me, who do you claim to have 'laid' with The Phoenix,'' Odin demanded firmly.

''Bell O'Quinn, a reality warper. But there is ... something more to him. It is hard to put into words,'' Stephen began.

''Try anyway,'' Odin demanded. Or he very well might use his own powers to scry the truth on the matter.

''It is... like starring in a bottomless pit with no ground. I felt... small. Incomprehensibly small and insignificant. I'm sorry, that is the best I can describe it as,'' Stephen shook his head. Whenever he looked more closely to discern something about O'Quinn that was what he felt. It got only more intense the closer he tried to look so he knew some key things about O'Quinn, but not all he desired to know.

Odin leaned into his throne chair and used his powers to look for the man named Bell O'Quinn. He closed his eye and focused. It took just a few seconds for him to find him and upon looking more closely, his hair immediately stood on end.

Well, if there is one criteria The Phoenix could have judged him by, it was power. He certainly did not lack in that. The fact that it was slumbering did not change the fact that it was wholly his. Looking further into the matter he found that there was no strings attached to his powers. Not like Jean Grey with The Phoenix. Or Wanda Maximoff attached to Chthons designs. In a way that made him a greater threat since it removed some technicalities that could be used to defeat him, as with the others. At least his reality warping followed logic, so there was one avenue to attack him through.

Not that it matters, not really.

The less said about The Phoenix allying with him the better. He did not want to deal with that headache.

There is also the fact that he saw no visions of him when he made his sacrifices to The Wellspring under The World Tree.

Why?

...

It was a matter that he had to investigate later on since he was currently preoccupied.

What the man said, and The Ancient One, also seemed to be true. The Stone was in safe hands. Thanos' meddling with The Stone did not seem to influence the mans mind as it did with his son.

While he would have loved to explain what really happened and judged Loki to be a free man, he could not. And so he condemned his son to imprisonment, by choosing his kingdom and keeping the Infinity Stones a secret.

It seems he failed as a father with all three of his children. He was trying his best with Thor, the little chance that he still had for now. Not like he could make things right with Loki, so he would let him cool down where he was.

(It was a bit of an open secret to the Kingdom (except Thor since he wasn't that good with magic and often forgot, unlike Loki and Frigga who were better at magic) that Odin could easily find Loki if he so wished. Or Heimdall. But no one had the guts to say that to Odins face or open up the subject with Thor.)

''You have given me much to contemplate on, Sorcerer Supreme. I will make my choice and then send Thor down to Midgard with my answer. You are dismissed,'' Odin ended the conversation while gripping the arm rest of the throne chair tightly, but subtly.

Stephen looked frustrated for a moment, not really liking a taste of his own medicine, of his arrogance from when he was still a neurosurgeon. He remembered the Ancient Ones teaching and calmed himself quickly.

But no matter, the Time Stone had revealed to him what he needed to say to succeed. He came here and achieved what he wanted.

---

Thor came down with the Bifrost and landed on the Quinjet helipad. He quickly made his way to the living room and found Steve there.

''I have great news. I asked my father for help and we found Loki's Scepter,'' Thor said.

''That is great news! But thought you wanted to find it by ourselves?,'' Steve asked him, biting his cheek to make a teasing comment. Thor told them that Odin wanted Loki's Scepter on Midgard, Earth, for now. Natasha made a comment claiming he was like a child fearing to disappoint their father, after he left citing some other realm had a threat that needed to be dealt with and leaving matter to them for the time being.

''My father once said, a King must know their own limits and seek help and advise where needed. I had every confidence we would have eventually found it, but it was taking too long and my father has stressed the importance of having it in safe hands. I could not risk it taking too long, no offense my friend,'' Thor nodded as if the matter was concluded.

Steve nodded politely.

''None taken. Well then. Where is it? Do we need to gear up and retrieve it?,'' Steve asked him.

''It is in safe hands. Very safe hands. And thus the matter is concluded,'' Thor firmly said, not wanting his fathers word to be questioned.

Well, Steve did not see that coming. But he chose to believe Thor and take him at his word. There was probably some confidential Asgardian-ish politics involved at play here or something.

''Shall we tell the others then? Will you stay for a while this time?,'' Steve asked him as he guided Thor to where the others where.

''I will stay for a while. Currently, there are no urgent matters I must attend to,'' Thor smiled.

Steve nodded happy to hear that.

...

''Oh, come on!!!,'' Tony cursed and threw down a screwdriver on the table.

Bruce and him, spent 16 hours adding improvements to the gamma radiation detector. All for nothing.

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Mr.Grey opened the door after a while from the moment that it rang. He suspected many things. The mailman. A neighbour. Maybe Nexus again, possibly with bad news, though his dear wife would never share his worries and he did not want to make her panic so he kept his mouth shut.

He was terrified and feared too, but he constantly reassured her that Nexus would keep his promise and soon enough Jean would come visit them. It put his wifes mind at ease a little.

He opened the door and could literally feel his throat close up with emotions.

His mouth moved, but no words came out. And soon enough he could feel his eyes tear up.

He kept his word. He kept his promise.

Jean awkwardly moved a strand of her hair behind her ear. 

''Hi. It ... has been a while. A lot happened,'' she lamely greeted and cursed in her mind. The last day she spent her entire time on how she planned greeting them. She planned one thing for her father if he was the one that would open the door. One thing for her mother.One thing for her both.

She completely forgot what she planned now that she was here.

Mr.Grey gave a choked chuckle and rested his hand on her shoulder with a squeeze while giving her a smile. 

''Yes, Jean. A lot has happened,'' he greeted her back and then dragged her to him to give her a crushing hug. Jean reciprocated the hug.

He invited her in and the two made their way into the living room.

Ms.Grey dropped the plates upon seeing Jean and quickly ran to her to give her her own crushing hug. Thankfully they did not shatter as the hovered above the ground thanks to Jeans quick thinking.

''My daughter. My beautiful daughter. Come I will make you waffles. You loved them as a child,'' Ms.Grey declared.

''You really don't have to. It seems you already made food,'' Jean shook her head.

''I must. I will spoil you rotten. The three of us missed out on years. You won't be going back to Xaviers School for Gifted Youngsters,'' Ms.Grey denied.

''What? Why?,'' Jean asked affronted.

''The man messed with our memories. He stole you from us. You can't expect us to entrust you back to him. Regardless of what Nexus said there is no other culprit. Jean, did Xavier...did he touch you,'' Ms.Grey fearfully asked.

Jean frowned. Nexus? Was Nexus here? Did he visit her parents while investigating? He didn't tell them about that.

''My dear, we should calm down. Why don't you make the waffles and then we can let Jean explain the situation and we can catch up. There is no reason to jump to conclusions out of the depth as we are,'' Mr.Grey patiently patted his wifes hand, trying to run damage control. Has she forgotten that they gave Nexus their words that they would not reveal his telepathic abilities? Mr.Grey decided to stop her from speaking before she blurts out his secret.

Ms.Grey fiercely nodded and made her way immediately to the kitchen. Mr.Grey guided Jean to the table and she put down the two plates.

Soon enough they all talked over dinner and Jean recounted what happened. They talked about much and they learned who the real culprit was. It also made no sense to stop going to school for her last semester ever, so she insisted on finishing her studies there.

Her parents agreed. Ms.Grey more reluctantly then Mr.Grey.

They talked about more.

They did not talk about her friends death.

Jean because she did not know. Her parents because they did not want to taint the happy event with sour news.

---

Nexus entered the kitchen at Xaviers school. It is, he had learned quickly, were most of the teachers were at this time of day. A few days have passed by now since he rescued Jean on monday. Time enough for most of the people involved to work through what happened, himself included in that list with the whole Phoenix debacle. It also gave him time to come up with a strategy to make Jean confront her friends death.

''Greetings. Ororo, Hank,'' Nexus replied and took a seat. There was still some time before the training spar and he wanted to fish for some information.

''Greetings in turn,'' Ororo smiled at him in appreciation for protecting the students.

When he first appeared she was a little apprehensive about the students safety, especially with Logan being on edge around him. Certainly she received a shock when Nexus opened up the first spar with an ambush. But it seems, like Logan, training the X-Men so hard came from a place of concern. He cared in his own way. The latest stunt showed her that he was also fully invested in protecting the students outside his duties as a teacher, going above and beyond to save Jean.

Since then she fully considers him a friend.

She was not the only one who shared those thoughts, as Hank thought like her too. Much more loyal then her to Xavier however, made him be more open to Nexus from the beginning.

''Greetings, Nexus. No worries the simulation room is once more fully repaired and operational. Feel free to go all out,'' Hank smiled at him.

''Right. You sound a little too eager there buddy,'' Nexus chuckled.

''Every damage that is done to the simulation room is an improvement as it reveals weaknesses. Xavier told you that already. Logan couldn't really push the children to this extent and the students did not want to cause property damage,'' Hank explained to him once more, completely serious.

Chill out dude, he knew that already and he was just bantering. Nexus suppressed a sigh.

''That is true. Logan, and I suppose Bucky too now, always focus on technique and strategy. They also point out faults at the end of each session, but that is not enough and the simulated enemies can teach only so much,'' Ororo made pointless conversation.

Nexus suppressed another sigh. He should have just kept his mouth shut and not opened up the subject. In his defense, he already heard the same thing from several different people. He couldn't completely fault them for repeating some points on the same topic.

But still...

''Have you considered making one X-Men fight all the others?,'' Nexus asked them.

''Why would we do that? They are allies. They are better served by learning to fight at each others side,'' Ororo frowned at his suggestion.

''You once told me Magneto was once your ally. Obviously not every ally will be tomorrows enemy, but even so they could face someone with similar enough powers to one of their own. I ... think I know what I will do for next week,'' Nexus rubbed his chin.

Then again, with the powers being so unevenly distributed among the X-Men, it was probably better to have teams going against each other and only sometimes having one vs all spars. Hmm, he needed to think about this some more.

''And also, while most students come back to give something in turn for all of Xaviers kindness, be it service or donations, there are still enough that just move on,'' Hank added,'' Not all bonds will endure. Nor can we expect them to fight till they are of old age.''

''Indeed. Memento Mori. Sustainable solutions for the next generation must be found,'' Nexus determined.

Ororo chuckled and shook her head while she moved her spoon around in her mug to spread the taste and aroma of the black coffee more evenly. Probably pointless, but it was the way she liked doing her coffee.

''A rather morbid way to look at things. I certainly would not have said as such, but I understand what you mean,'' Ororo sighed fondly.

''By the way, how is everyone doing? Particularly Scott, Jean and Madelyne?,'' Nexus asked them.

Before they could answer, Logan and Bucky came in. Bucky took a seat near Nexus and the two greeted each other with a nod, while Logan grabbed a beer from the closet filled with beverages and cursed under his breath for forgetting to put one in the fridge. Ororo used her powers to cool down the beverage for him. He grunted at her appreciatively.

''Anything interesting planned for today?,'' Logan asked Nexus.

''Say, have you considered splitting the X-Men into teams and having them fight each other, or try to have them complete an objective, like capture the flag or something?,'' Nexus asked him.

Logan took a big gulp of beer before slamming the beer on the table.

''Finally someone else that agrees with me,'' Logan told him.

''Logan told me that he once ran the idea by Xavier, but his idea was rejected on the grounds that in case anyone ever betrayed the X-Men they wouldn't already be good at fighting them all off by their lonesome, same with teams,'' Bucky told him.

''Which is stupid as they know what each others powers are and their weaknesses, but I did have them complete objectives as a team,'' Logan answered his other question.

''Not necessarily. Knowing and knowing are two different things,'' Hank began,''I know that cancer can be painful, but I don't really know what it actually feels like. Their mind may hold the knowledge, but their body will be unfamiliar and left out of balance.''

''It is a rather sad way to look at life, the way the Professor does,'' Ororo lamented.

''That is the thing about betrayal. It never comes from enemies,'' Logan grumbled.

''He does have experience with Magneto and others from what you told me. His fears are not completely unfounded, but I still wish to run the idea by him. I doubt I can convince him, when you failed, but I least I can say I tried,'' Nexus hummed.

''Then I must disappoint you. I understand you were hired to spar with the children, so do that, please. But I will not be doing that and arming with the knowledge on how to fight each other,'' Charles having heard part of the conversation rolled in.

''They can learn how to fight off a team by themselves. They are powerful enough for that. It would be good knowledge to have,'' Nexus told him.

''They can barely fight you off as a team, there is no point in having them learn to fight a team by their lonesome. It would be like putting the carriage before the horse,'' Xavier explained.

''Oh please, they all could defeat me with some effort if they got rid of their aversion to killing. Scott made me proud when he shot such a powerful optic beam at me during the first spar, even if he was probably taken in by the heat of the battle,'' Nexus shared his thoughts. He certainly hasn't shot such a powerful beam since then.

Granted, he could always pull more sword abilities out of his ass if that happened, but as he was now they could defeat him. A well placed ambush and Wanda or Jean expanding a ball in his chest would make for an incredible effective attack, albeit a quick one.

Logan and Bucky nodded in agreement.

''No. Nexus, please respect my choice. And I told you killing is not an easy choice to make and should not be made at all. No one should make such judgement calls,'' Xavier firmly put his foot down.

Nexus gave a defeated sigh. It was not the end of the matter for him, but he saw what Xavier did. He played the quid pro quo card. 'I shielded you from scrutiny and you didn't have to explain your empty mind to the others, now scratch my back by respecting my choices.'

The battle has been lost today. Nexus will pick up the matter on another day.

''Fine then. I still haven't received an answer to my question. How are Jean, Scott and Madelyne settling in?,'' Nexus asked again.

''Jean went to visit her family and catch up. I gave her the rest of the week off, but she should return today. Her friends sent her all the material via phone so she hasn't missed out on much,'' Xavier explained, now more friendly dispositioned.

''Scott, has been absentminded for the last week. Understandable since he had the nature of his parent figure, essentially, uprooted from under him. Such things leave a bitter taste in ones mouth and forces someone to reevaluate a lot of things,'' Hank added.

''A leader can not always have his personal affairs in order. Now we must see if Scott can separate his personal life from his duties without one affecting the other,'' Logan took a gulp from his beer.

Both Nexus and Bucky nodded at that.

''Logan! Don't be so callous,'' Ororo admonished, the children should not grow up too quickly. It was always a sad thing to see. And she saw many such sights in her travels. Experienced it too. She did not wish such a thing on any child.

''Maybe, he could have chosen his words better, but he is not wrong. Being a leader is an exhausting job sometimes,'' Bucky said. He certainly saw Steve frustrated enough during the war. He hid it well from the others, but they were childhood friends.

''So long as they are aware that they have a support structure that is willing to help them and support and give them advise, it should be fine. And Madelyne?,'' Nexus asked.

''Girl is practically an amnesiac. She has not sense of identity. She wanted to join the X-Men, but we told her she should take some time for herself for now. Aside from that she kept to herself and far away from the others. Barely has interacted with anyone really,'' Logan swing the liquid in the bottle around. He knew a thing or two about what Madelyne was going through.

''Isn't that a good thing? It would have been one thing if everyone assumed she would continue to be part of the X-Men, just because Jean is, but she made the choice to request being part of the team herself. In a sense that is identity. Besides, no one should be left completely alone, during such times. Before you know it, things can take a 180. Trauma makes people react in various ways,'' Nexus told them.

Xavier rubbed his chin, but it was Ororo that spoke:'' You want her to join todays session?''

''He may not be completely off the mark there. It is a delicate balance that one must find, between letting someone process their trauma by themselves as one can not force such things and being there for them so that they don't feel abandoned. Many times trauma made someone feel tainted and their brain argues that that taint now makes them worthless. That makes them volatile and if not that then depressive,'' Xavier had to agree with Nexus assessment. He would have offered help himself, but not only was he busy, he also learned that as a counselor people needed to come to him.

The first step in solving a problem is recognizing there is one and that is done by seeking help.

Nexus cast him a side eye at that statement. He understood that he did it not only to spare Jean the trauma, but also to protect her and others from her powers lashing out because of said trauma. But still. Nexus had to admire Charles straight face, when he said that.

''Wouldn't that be counterproductive? Jean is friends with the others, not Madelyne. Forcing her so close to the others would only reveal and remind her that her affections for these people are not her owns,'' Ororo argued.

''Not necessarily. Nexus and Xavier are right, treating trauma has no definitive answer. For all we know, she feels abandoned anyway. OR forcing all of them in a room can reveal and discover if she likes those people for herself and somehow that will start the healing process, for all we know,'' Hank added his own thoughts.

Before the conversation could continue Sarah came into the kitchen as well. They said their greetings and gave her a quick rundown of their conversation to have her share her own thoughts.

''I have to agree. Nexus knows a thing or two about trauma himself. He certainly used that knowledge to get Laura out of her belief that she was only a killing machine. Now she has made friends and acts like a normal girl... mostly. She should join todays sessions and we can see how things turn out,'' Sarah told them.

Ah, so it was him that showed Laura she was more then a killing instrument. That her life was not defined by her powers. Logan lamented that it took him a LONG time to learn that as well. But he silently drank one gulp to Nexus in thanks. At least his quasy daughter learned that lesson quicker then him.

With that choice being made, it was time to start the spar. The time has arrived by now.

---

Madelyne sat down on the meadow and watched the mansion from afar.

She couldn't shake the thought of what happened during the spar. The past week she drifted off around school not really knowing what to make of herself, until finally she mustered up the courage to ask to be part of the X-Men.

Only to be rejected. As if she wasn't good enough. 

Of course.

Everyone wanted the real Jean anyway and she was just a cheap fucking knock off.

Madelyne pulled her knees closer to her chest and rested her chin on them.

Only for the teachers to suddenly let her join anyway and to her surprise the others readily welcomed her to their group. Even Jean was welcoming, despite things being awkward between them.

And so they spared. She had Jeans experience in battle so it was easy to find a ...'routine' so to speak. She settled in quickly with the others.

And she also tasted for herself how much of a monster Nexus was. A monster as in a slave driver. That man did not know the meaning of restraint and always went for the most effective attacks.

She shielded Bobby from Nexus from an attack. He was a little weakened as he lent some of his powers to Rogue, but he could still throw good punches. He was just not on his A-game and needed some little assistance.

The next thing she knew Nexus was beside her, exploiting her brief inattention and swinging an ethereal sword at her. Kurt and Piotr came to her rescue, with Kurt teleporting the latter in. Piotr promptly received an ethereal sword through his face as Kurt teleported her away.

Many such cases happened during the spar. She watched other peoples back. They watched hers.

She wanted to join the X-Men, not having anything else to do. 

But a part of her feared the others reactions to that. Deep down she was certain that they would scorn her.

She was wrong.

Madelyne buried her head deeper into her knees.

She could see why Jean was friends with them and not just colleagues. She wanted to share in their friendship too. If they would let her.

Scott made his way over from the mansion, having seen her from all the way there. Madelyne did not notice his approach until he sat down besides her.

''Hey,'' Scott greeted started, startling her. 

''Hey,'' she greeted back, when looking at her side and saw who it was.

The two stood there in awkward silence for a bit.

''How are you?,'' Scott began, trying to get a conversation going.

''Good. You?,'' Madelyne asked him.

That was a lie, of course.

''Good.''

'Right.''

''...Right.''

The two fidgeted a little. Madelyne playing with the grass and Scott rubbing his wrist.

''You did good during spar,'' Madelyne tried this time.

''You think so?,'' Scott asked her.

''Well, Nexus praised you, so...,'' Madelyne trailed off.

''Right,'' Scott said.

Nexus did praise him, saying he could focus on what is important and other personal matters that are also important. That he could prioritize things. And led the team this time just as well despite circumstances. Then he promptly tore into him, all of them really, with criticism.

Sometimes the guy frustrated him, but he couldn't lie and say that he didn't push him as a leader to be better, similar to Logan. But unlike Logan who often went off by himself, it was clear Nexus could be a team player and probably led others as well. Scott held his advise over that of Logans, at least in leadership matters, but still below Professor Xavier. He was thankful for that.

''No. Seriously. How are you holding up?,'' Scott asked her after some time.

''How are YOU holding up?,'' Madelyne shot back snidely.

''Not well. The past week... well. I didn't know what to do or what to think. But then I remembered that we still had to talk about... us,'' Scott began.

At least he had his friends to talk to. She didn't even have that. She mentally waved the thought away.

''What is there to talk about us? You love Jean, I'm just her placeholder,'' Madelyne replied.

Right. There was that mess too.

''Do I love her though? For the longest time I did. Or I thought I did. Then Nexus told us all about Essex' duplicity and schemes and my whole earth was uprooted. Add in the revelation about compulsions and well... Jean, was with her parents the last days. Enough time for me to be away from her and settle my affairs. When she came back I felt some lingering affection, but no longer the intense love I had for her. At least we know Nexus spoke the truth, in him killing of Essex for good, else the compulsions would have endured,'' Scott rambled.

Madelyne closed her eyes and sighed.

''That's good Scott. I'm happy you got your affairs in order. Truly. But I still don't see how there is a 'us'. We got together with you thinking I was Jean and my feelings being fabricated towards you. Our relationship was tainted from the start, and I'm calling it a relationship generously. At least it lasted just a few days so it doesn't hurt as much,'' Madelyne saw the silver lining in the situation.

''It doesn't have to be,'' Scott said immediately.

Madelyne turned her head a little to look at him and blinked at him a few times.

''What?,'' she asked him incredulously.

''You may thought you were Jean and you certainly share her face. But so do identical twins share each others faces and they are still two different people. I didn't see it at the time, but you are not Jean. Not truly. There are differences, at least in personality. And... well, I liked what we had,'' Scott trailed off in a small voice.

Madelyne snorted.

''So you want to continue our fucked up relationship. Is that what this is? Our 'relationship' is a hoax. A taint that is obnoxious and one you can't really get rid off. You can only pretend it is not there,'' Madelyne spat. Or one could demolish the wall the taint was on, but she did not want to kill anyone.

She wanted him to go away. Like her, he probably had unresolved feelings.

''It doesn't have to be tainted. You think you are the only one that had their feelings fabricated. Yes, it was brief. In a way that was a mercy. But what we had was special too. We went on a date together and kissed each other. We! Not Jean and I.

Nexus said it best. Our beginnings may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make us who we are, or who we want to be.

I... I like you. I would like it too, for us to love each other one day. I want to see where this goes...

...Madelyne?,'' Scott asked her.

Madelyne buried her head in her knees again and she gripped her shins. Clearly, he struggled with this the same as her. Their feelings may have been fabricated, but clearly they were real enough for both of them to have mattered and matter even after the whole scheme was unearthed.

But while she wanted to distance herself from it all, Scott clearly wanted to charge head first in and see where this would go.

For quite a while neither of them said anything, just standing near each other in silence.

Finally Madelyne removed her head from her knees and simply looked at Scott for a while. Slowly she approached him and he her.

But Scott quickly pulled back being weirded out. His earlier confidence having disappeared.

''I'm sorry...''

''No. I understand,'' Madelyne said surprisingly dejected.

''It is not that...''

''I get it,'' she interrupted him, turning her head.

''No!,'' Scott said firmly.

Madelyne looked at him, willing to listen to him.

''Can we just pretend... like it is the first time?,'' Scott asked her. He know what he said, but he got a little cold feet when it was time to put his words into action. At least fully.

Madelyne put her hand on his cheek and stroked it, the two leaning into each other again.

Perhaps the two of them could have found a different resolution. Certainly some would say that their choice was unhealthy or toxic.

But it didn't matter what others said.

Both of them were two broken souls trying to find comfort in each other. It was good enough for them.

If it worked for them, then who could complain?

It had to work, Madelyne determinedly thought.

They would make it work.

---

''Who are we spying on?,'' Nexus asked Jean as he stepped beside her. The two were in the library looking towards the meadow and watching Madelyne and Scott kiss. Nexus knew what she was looking at, but he needed a conversation opener.

Jean quickly hugged his arm and rested her head on his shoulder to dull the voices. Nexus let her, this time not only supportive of her brief respites from her trouble wherever she could find them, but also resigned knowing what really was going on here.

''Scott and Madelyne,'' she replied and pointed towards them with her index.

''Hm. Is it weird?,'' Nexus asked her.

''A little. It helps if I think of her as a twin sister,'' Jean suddenly snorted,''You are probably asking yourself what kind of situation you got yourself in when you decided to become one of our teachers, what with all our weirdness and dynamics.''

Nexus huffed, but said nothing more to that. It was about to get weirder still.

''And what will your parents say about them suddenly adopting a twin sister of yours? One your mother doesn't remember giving birth to,'' Nexus asked amused.

''I haven't really told them the more intimate details of ... all that happened. My father would be understanding more or less. He hasn't really changed, still stoic no matter what life throws at him and trying to make the best of things.... while also calming my mother down. It is my mother that will probably react hysterical. I don't know what exactly her response will be, but definitely hysterical,'' Jean chuckled a little and smiled into his shoulder.

''You are aware, you are making it weirder by being a peeping tom?,'' Nexus asked her.

''Then let us go somewhere else. Wanna take a walk around the school? Just us two?,'' Jean asked him. She could do with some additional quietness. The last few days, she was constantly seeing into her parents minds unprompted. Somethings... a child should not know about their parents. 

She could always catch up with the other later, but now she really wanted some quiet.

''Sure, let us go do that,'' Nexus agreed.

...

They wandered off pretty far from the mansion into the forest. Not that they were completely blind since they were walking down a path, they could always follow it back.

''I know you are an only child, but probably the thought of having a sister is not completely foreign to you. I always call my childhood friend my brother from another mother for example,'' Nexus told her.

''Yes, you know that because you visited my parents,'' she pointed out with an accusatory tone and narrowed her eyes at him playfully.

Nexus just hummed offering nothing in return.

She continued to narrow her eyes at him for a bit longer, but then smiled an shook her head good natured at him.

''I don't mind. It makes sense that you stumbled upon them in your investigation. But no, I have no childhood friends. It was pretty lonely there. Sure, I played sometimes with others in my neighbor, but not to the point that we formed a childhood friendship,'' Jean answered him.

''Really? That is a shame. How come? The suburban area you live in is cozy. It also houses many of the older generation there. That generation saw value in starting a family and surely you must have had a lot of children to play with. And thus many opportunities to form such a friendship,'' Nexus reasoned.

''I don't know. I guess... it never happened for one reason or another,'' Jean shrugged.

''Shame. A bond like that... I know I treasure my friendship with my childhood friend dearly,'' Nexus sounded forlorn.

Jean frowned at him. He was surprisingly fixated on this topic today.

''Do you think the girl that died had any childhood friends? Said friend must have probably mourned her dead friend a lot,'' Nexus said after a while.

What?

Jean put a hand on her head and frowned at him.

''Who died? I have no such recollection of an event occurring,'' Jean asked him confused.

''No? I'm surprised you haven't heard. It happened to the family next to your immediate neighbors. They had a daughter. One day she was playing on the street with her ball, probably with her friend as well and suddenly a drunk driver came by and hit the girl when she ran after the ball on the street. A shame. Would it have been anyone else besides a drunk driver, they would have reacted in time. From what I heard there were no obstacles or dead angles for him to not have seen her ran towards the streets,'' Nexus recounted the event.

''That is terrible. I... I haven't heard...,'' Jean frowned holding her head in pain.

''What was the girls name?,'' Jean asked after a while.

''...Annastasia,'' Nexus told her.

Jean stumbled over her own feet and landed on her knees as she held her head in severe pain. Some moments passed and the pain subsided. It seems the less she thought about the topic the less painful it was.

''Nexus... you said, you went through Sinisters papers, you said he could not affect my mind, just read my memories since I was unconscious. That is what you said. Did you lie?,'' Jean asked him fearfully.

''No. He did not affect your mind,'' Nexus answered her.

''Then why... why do I experience such pain, when you continue to talk about Annastasia? Are you a telepath after all? Did you mess with my mind?!,'' Jean accused and shakily stood up to prepare for battle.

''No. Jean, I did not mess with your mind at all. You already know the answer, you just have to look for yourself,'' Nexus instructed. He did omit however that he did enter her mind. For now, however, there was no reason to share that information with her.

He would do that at a later time. Or Phoenix can do that for all he cared, since she seems to know him so well.

Or Gwen could.

...

God, his life was a mess. Wasn't it?

''You know the answer! Or else you would not be so confident that I will find the answers myself. Where would I even begin to look?,'' Jean spat at him.

''Within. You area a telepath. Enter your own mindscape and find the answer for yourself. Whether you consider it a betrayal or will show understanding on what you will find is up to you,'' Nexus told her and turned around.

''Wait!,'' Jean called out, when it became clear to her that Nexus wanted to leave her after all this through a portal he cut open. She ripped a tree from its spot and swung it at him.

Nexus rolled his eyes at that. She could have just made a telekinetic construct instead of destroying that poor tree. How hard was it for her to understand that. Both Madelyne and Wanda already use their telekinesis in such a way. Or she could have rooted him on the spot by taking hold of his body. He made it through the portal before the tree could hit him.

Jean stood there feeling betrayed and abandoned at his actions. He knew the answers, why, so why wouldn't he tell her?

Her lips trembled.

...

Bell banished his outfit, the moment he arrived in his room. Yes, he knew his actions were cruel. But he more then anyone knew that cruelty was sometimes necessary. He knew the answers.

But telling her was not enough.

Believing him was not enough. 

She had to see it.

And THAT he could not do. He could show her illusions that recreated the event. He could show her his own memories of her memories or more accurately Xaviers memories of the event that he got from her when she was younger and the two met for the first time, but at that point they may as well be illusions as well. 

No, she had to see her own memories at her own volition.

And for that she was the one that needed to search.

Jean was already a powerful psionic (Madelyne too), Phoenix only enhanced those attributes to absurd levels. He could not read hers or Phoenix mind. Different to how Phoenix could not read his mind, but with the same results. And by now, he suspected that Phoenix must have used some small influence to let him in, knowing his inquisitive nature.

Their talk revealed that Jean had to remove the blocks herself, if he or Xavier or anyone else (a weaker telepath) would try to undo the memory and power blocks, Jeans powers would subconsciously fight them off since they got accustomed to the status quo and they were foreign. And that could damage Jeans psyche.

So no. His actions were cruel. Yes. But necessary. He considered this course of action over the last few days very carefully.

Besides, Phoenix did request to give her a push, not to give her the answers himself.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fucking asshole!

Why was she so shaken up anyway, by him having so callously abandoned her? Why did it hurt so much?

Jean was lying in her bed at the mansion and starred at the ceiling, running things over in her mind on what happened.

Annastasia, huh?

Jean tried to recollect anything about what Nexus said, only for her memory to draw a blank and then for her to quickly wince in pain.

It was frustrating... No, it was maddening.

Jean genuinely failed to see why Nexus was so cryptic, instead of just giving her a straight answer.

...

...

Still, he did save her. If he had some designs for her it was probably nothing nefarious. At least not in the sense that Sinister had plans for her. 

Maybe.

A very hopeful maybe.

Her own mindscape, huh? She rather neglected that, not wanting to spend more time in it, fearing that it will just house all the other peoples voices and thoughts. Xavier tried to teach her by giving her advise since he could no directly enter her mind on how to better organize her mind, but she neglected that too.

But...

Jean sighed. What other course of action did she have? Nexus gave her the carrot and she was the stick, for now she could only try to follow his instructions.

Jean closed her eyes and focused her own powers. It took a few times since she was unfamiliar with that part of her abilities, but eventually she did find her way into her mindscape.

Jean looked around and then down at herself. She seemed to have retained her physical form, so there was that. As for her mindscape? She looked around. It was as messy as she expected it to be, thoughts flying around, both hers and not her own.

Also, she had no idea where she was. She could feel the exit, just a thought away, but otherwise she was lost. At least she had an idea where to look for. Something to do with memories, so the hippocampus...

But where was the hippocampus? In which direction did she need to go?

Jean looked around and having found nothing picked a random direction to go to.

...

Jean exited her mind, having made no progress whatsoever in approaching the hippocampus part of her brain/ mindscape.

She would try tomorrow again, but if she did not succeed then she had to arrange her mindscape to no longer be a labyrinth. She still recalled most of the Professors advise even if she did not plan on using it. Doing so would at least help her navigate which direction to go towards and which directions she already walked.

In other words she would no longer get as easily lost.

...

Damn it, she cursed the next day. Hard way it was.

---

And so it was that Jean spent most of the coming week arranging her mindscape and making some order in her mind. She did notice that the voices lessened just a bit and she had a clearer head at the end. It was not much, but it was something. Enough that she regretted not having followed the Professors advise earlier.

No matter.

Jean picked another direction to walk towards and while she did not stumble upon the hippocampus she did stumble upon a wall. One she did not remember erecting. She frowned at it and touched it carefully.

It felt... familiar, yet unfamiliar. If that made sense. As if she once knew the source of this power and thus this wall, but had forgotten.

Jeans first thought was to destroy it, but then she thought better of it and started following down the wall in one direction. Who knows what she could do by destroying the wall uninformed as she was.

It took her a few hours... or minutes considering time here and the real world passed differently, but she found that it was not so much a wall, but a dam. One that never ended, but blocked of one specific direction.

Why was there a dam in her mindscape? Was her hippocampus behind the dam? She doubted it. It seemed that only the memory of Annastasia was affected. All her memories seemed fine.

Should she destroy it now? Jean was still not sure, if she should do that, still feeling like she lacked too much information.

In the end she decided to remember its place for now, but continue exploring the other parts of her mindscape. It was not like there is much more left to explore, aside from the surprise construct in her brain.

...

Turns out that her hippocampus was in one of the unexplored parts of her mindscape. This part of her housed all the memories in her mindscape. Those she remembered and those she had seemingly forgotten.

She didn't know that she used to have a faulty robotic circus monkey that cackled instead of laughing. She named him Crackles. Jean was embarrassed, but in her defense she was very young.

She also did not know that she...

No! Jean shook her head. She was not here for a trip down the memory lane, as interesting as that would be. She was here for a purpose.

Annastasia...

Annastasia...

Dead girl hit by a drunken driver.

Hmmmm....

From the age of three, with the fewest memories all the way to age nine, with the most. There was no mention or memory of Annastasia. She knows that she used to be her neighbor, that memory she had found, but nothing else.

Jean frowned. But that should not be the case. Clearly her mindscape housed even the memories she had forgotten about. At least consciously.

Unless Nexus was lying to her...?

No. Can't be. Jean has seen the memory of an Annastasia existing at some point.

Jean slowly turned towards the direction of the dam.

Could it be? Nexus was talking about a childhood friend of Annastasias...

Was she the one that made the dam after all?

Jean started suspecting a few things.

No. The dam felt unfamiliar.

But it was still one unexplored part of her mindscape.

Jean found herself before the dam again and paced back and forth. It felt familiar, yes, but also unfamiliar. It felt unfamiliar, yes, but also familiar. Jean warred with herself a little, not being entirely sure if she wanted to destroy the dam.

What answers would she find behind? Did she want to know?

...

No. Jean wanted to know. Maybe she would even find out why she was so bipolar sometimes when near Nexus and felt intense emotions for him despite knowing he has a girlfriend.

She doubted that part, but at least she would find out what happened to Annastasia and why she had forgotten. Of that she was certain.

Jean put her hand on the dam and focused her powers. Professor Xavier once told her that in her mindscape she would rule supreme. Sure, dangers could still present themselves from outside and sometimes they could pose a challenge, but ultimately she was a god here.

Already well practiced as she was from all the rearranging in her mindscape she easily began undoing the dam.

Moments later she was hit by pure energy.

---

Flashback; 1st POV Jean:

''Again! Again!,'' Annastasia demanded eagerly as I pushed her on the swing in a park. Our parents were standing some distance away watching over us. We invited them too, but they complained about their bones and told us to enjoy ourselves.

''Hey, why did you stop?,'' Annastasia whined and turned around a little.

''Being old sounds scary and painful,'' I murmured feeling sorry for our parents.

''I know what you mean. I never wanna be old,'' Annastasia shook her head determined.

''Me neither,'' I firmly agreed, with all the seriousness I could muster.

''Well, then let's not get old together. BFF forever!,'' Annastasia declared and I nodded quickly.

''Now push me!,'' Annastasia demanded again. I gaped at her and then pushed her instead off the swing. She landed on the ground and looked at me betrayed. I merely showed her my tongue and she quickly got up to push me on the swing instead, promising revenge one day.

But just not today.

---

Confetti flew out of the small device I was holding as we all celebrated Annastasias birthday in her parents backyard. We sang, we danced and ate like there was no tomorrow.

Then came the presents.

I gave her a ball.

''So we can play together,'' I beamed at her. She grinned back with happiness.

''Thank you, I will treasure it more then anything,'' Annastasia declared.

''Even us?,'' her father asked, feeling hurt.

''You will always be my old man, but you can't keep up with me. So yes I will cherish this ball, because it means Jean will play with me,'' Annastasia cast her a side eye, her brash attitude disappearing a little.

That was the plan so I quickly nodded.

''Well, just don't forget about your old man then. Make sure to stay safe, whenever you play with that ball,'' her father instructed.

---

''Oh. My. God,'' my father started wheezing at seeing my face. It reddened upon seeing him laugh at me.

''Don't laugh at her, dear. My little princess, who was it that made your make up?,'' my mother asked kindly as my father suppressed a laugh in the background becoming visibly red.

''Annastasia. We did each others make up. We wanted to be pretty. Like princesses,'' I murmured.

''You succeeded,'' father seriously declared with a serious nod, only getting redder in the face. Mother shushed him.

''Well, you both seem to have done a well enough job, but perhaps next time maybe use ... less powder,'' mother kindly said.

''Which make up kit did you use anyway? Was it the brown one?,'' mother asked me suddenly.

''It was the red one,'' I told her. Her face twitched.

''I... I see. Wow. I couldn't tell with the work done, but I can tell now,'' mother voice sounded strained as fathers face only got more redder. It was funny, he was red like a tomato.

''Look, Jean, how about we clean you up and next time I show you both how to do make up. Hmm? With the brown one next time. Yes? The brown one. Do you understand, my dear,'' mother asked my firmly. I nodded confused why she stressed the word brown so often. They were both make up kits.

''Good. Now off into the bathroom with you,'' mother commanded and I bolted upward as I heard my father begin howling.

I knew it was terribly. I told her so!

---

''Jean! Kick the ball over here,'' Annastasia yelled out having distanced herself some way from her.

''I don't know if I can kick so hard,'' I yelled back.

''I trust you,'' Annastasia yelled back.

I grumbled but decided to run and kick the ball as hard as I could. Only I hit it wrong. Yes the ball flew far enough, but not towards her. It flew towards the street. Annastasia quickly ran after it to recover it.

It happened so quick.

My father warned me often enough that I knew that streets were dangerous and that I should always look left and right to check for cars. But Annastasia never took what her parents said to heart. I was calling her back and running after her.

Next thing I know a car comes quickly around a corner at high speeds.

I see my friend flying over the hood of the car and land back on the ground and laying there after rolling a bit, unmoving.

But I also see and feel another perspective.

I feel a great force slam into my sides. It felt like it was a mountain. Then I felt myself roll over that mountain and slam my head on something. At this point I felt something snap. It was not physical for I felt the bones that snapped and the organs that ruptured. I could not put it into words. It felt like it was at this moment I lost something dear to me. A deep profound loss overtook me. I felt my body roll of the hood and land on the asphalt. I felt myself roll more. I felt my skin split. I felt a rash somewhere. My body burned and ached and it felt like hell.

I stumbled back in shock and landed on the grass with my back and I just laid there. 

What else could I do?

---

End Flashback:

I recoiled at the memories rushing and fell to my knees. Tears began flowing unbidden at the sorrow that took me. I looked at my trembling hands, their sight blurry.

'I never wanna be old'

At least someone got their wish. I painfully chuckled. Life was not perfect and I had many happy memories, but when I was with her it felt like the world could not touch us.

How quickly the world humbled us.

But before I could do anything or say something one more memory came to me.

---

Flashback:

I just stood there not really registering the world around me or really reacting to it. A man came to our house and began talking with my parents, explaining why he was here and my situation to them.

I apparently had powers. And there were more like me. He wanted to give me the opportunity to learn to control them at his school.

I did not want my powers if it could not bring back my friend. What good where they otherwise?

Her parents showed understanding and support for her, especially when the man said that I could harm myself if I can not control my powers properly. But they also asked many questions. Adult questions. I don't know.

The man did not know what powers exactly I had, he told them.

After some back and forth, he requested to speak with me alone. My parents reluctantly left me alone with the man, but told me that they would be just next door.

''Hello, Miss Grey. I'm Professor Charles Xavier, Director of the School for Gifted Youngsters. I noticed you listened to the conversation, did you understand anything or do you wish to ask any questions,'' Charles asked.

''No,'' I murmured weakly.

He sighed sadly and looked at me conflicted.

''You have not talked with anyone about that incident, did you?,'' he asked and I shook my head.

''It is a terrible thing that happened... Miss Grey, you are a remarkable individual. Trauma has a way of activating our powers and when your powers awakened I felt it all the way to NYC even without Cerebro. I can only think of one such power that could manifest like this in a way that will draw my attention without Cerebro. Miss Grey, I suspect you are a telepath. It is the ability to read someones mind. But I suspect that you have other abilities besides that. That, however, remains to be seen,'' Xavier told me kindly.

''Are you a telepath as well?,'' I asked him and he smiled.

''Miss Grey, you are an intelligent girl. Yes, that is an astute observation. Do you wish me to demonstrate?,'' he asked me and I reluctantly nodded. Simply to curious.

The man put his index and middle finger on his temple and focused.

'Greetings, Miss Grey. May I also say that you are indeed a telepath. Now being here, has only made it more clear. May I look at the moment you have awakened your powers? Maybe I can have more insight in what other powers you could have,' he asked me in my mind.

I nodded slowly, taken in by the wonder that the man was actually talking in my mind.

After a while the man seemed to pull back and a look between trepidation and sadness settled on his features.

''You poor, poor thing. You awakened your powers and immediately entered Annastasias mind. You felt her pain and the moment of her tragic passing and then more besides. No one should go through that,'' Xavier lamented.

''If you wish I can seal your memories,'' he started, I opened my mouth, but he quickly continued,'' Not for forever. I was correct in my assumption that you are powerful. You are a telekinetic as well. Your memories could influence how your powers manifest. Until you learn to control your powers, they will be safely sealed in your mind and when you have gotten better at controlling your powers I will remove the block on your memories. How does that sound, Miss Grey?''

I frowned, not liking that. I did not want to forget about my friend, not even for a moment.

But before I could answer everything went dark.

---

End Flashback 3rd POV:

What?

She did not remember that. All she remembered was that Xavier came by and her parents acted the same. But she was bored, not sad. And then a few weeks later her parents wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Now she knew that it was because of Sinister.

That... No. It couldn't be.

''But it is,'' a voice called out.

Jean jumped to her feet and looked towards the voice. She stumbled back shortly afterwards and landed on her butt.

A massive flaming bird was standing in front of her. The flames from her side were slowly spreading past the line where the dam previously stood and into the rest of her mindscape. jean flinched when some flame moved across her hand, but she was not harmed.

Jean quickly jumped back to her feet.

''Who are you?,'' Jean asked her.

''I am Phoenix. I am The Phoenix. Not some mere flaming bird, my dear. Please remember that,'' Phoenix told her.

''What are you doing in my mindscape?,'' Jean immediately asked.

''You are my host,'' Phoenix began.

''You are a parasite!?,'' Jean asked shocked.

''No,'' Phoenix firmly replied,'' I am responsible for the life force of the multiverse. I suppose I am also a being of pure psionic energy. Naturally, I have enemies. They all died, of course, but it is rather vexing to keep killing them. This is where you come into play. You are the most powerful psionic I have ever seen, past, present and future. Your body is perfectly suited for me to mask my presence from them. I am no mere parasite. i suppose the closest appropriate term to describe our relationship would be symbiosis.''

''Symbiosis? I understand what I seemingly give you, but what do you give in turn?,'' Jean asked her.

''I enhance your power by a multitude. I can make you immortal and bring you back from the dead,'' Phoenix explained.

Oh. 

So in a way, both of their wishes would become reality.

''Can you bring back Anna?,'' Jean asked.

''No. Too much time has passed,'' Phoenix told her.

''If you are so powerful how come Xavier was able to seal you away?,'' Jean asked.

''He wasn't. You were still to young to hold my full power, so I was holding back my power. But by the time you were able to hold my full power you got too used to the dam. Your subconsciousness would have fought me. I made the mistake with one of your variants, to remove the dam myself. She is now catatonic,'' Phoenix told her.

A shiver went down Jeans spine. Well, at least she wasn't an enemy and maybe an ally from everything Phoenix told her.

''Variants?,'' Jean asked her.

''I exist in every universe where life resides. In most you exist too. But perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I have multiple bodies and one soul. My primary conscious is here right now,'' Phoenix explained.

Variants. Multiverse. Primary consciousness. Life force. Symbiosis. Her resurfaced memories. 

She went trough a lot today and was barely left with any time to sort through the information.

But there was one more thing she needed to know.

''Is there anything else besides that? Besides me masking your presence by hosting you?,'' Jean asked her.

''There is. We are one in body, but not in spirit. What you feel, I will feel. What I feel, you will feel. It was dormant until now, mostly, but the link is now fully opened. You will not feel the effects too strongly, but once you are back into your body...,'' Phoenix let the girl put the puzzle together herself.

Jean narrowed her eyes at her.

''You... You are the reason, why I feel so weird around Nexus! What is up with that?,'' Jean asked her.

''He is my, and thus our, mate,'' Phoenix told her.

Jean blinked, waiting for a moment to see if Phoenix was joking. Finally she snorted.

''No. Just no. How does that even work?! Is he some sort of god, like you, too? Why can't you two do your weird thing without me getting involved. Or is he like you and Nexus is his host?,'' Jean asked her.

''He is... not quite a god, but it wouldn't be wrong to call him that either. Unlike me, he can mask his own presence fully,'' Phoenix explained to her. At least she believed so.

''Well, that is nice. Do your thing without you getting me involved in some weird love triangle. I wish to have no part of it,'' Jean declared. Not did she wish to have emotions forced down upon her that were not her own. 

''You must,'' Phoenix told her.

''I must do nothing. How could you even propose us two sharing one guy anyway? I have all the fun and you are along for the ride or what,'' Jean spat.

The flames grew hotter and no longer was Phoenix orange in color, but orange red. Jean stumbled back frightened and got ready for a fight.

''Careful, girl, careful. I like you, but do not presume to dictate anything to me. I did not search so long for a variant of him that would accept a relationship just for you to ruin my plans. I do not need your consciousness, just your body. And while I would prefer 'symbiosis' I can very well turn into a 'parasite'. as you have accused me,'' Phoenix dangerously said. She became a little smaller and leaned down her head to stare Jean down past her beak.

That was a lie of course. Phoenix came to care about Jean too much to do that. But she would leave her even if that meant suffering the consequences of that and Bell being frustrated at all the enemies she would bring to his doorstep.

''I assure you, thought our emotions will blend with each other, you will still be able to tell which one is whose and be able to resist. Besides, I assure you, It was not I that fell in love with him first. I spent time in many of your variants before I felt anything for him. It was actually your variants that fell in love with him and it was you who influenced me,'' Phoenix told her.

Really? Jean wondered about her variants life.

''Was she happy. Or... well... was I happy?,'' Jean did not really know if a variant was still herself.

''No. He is incredible dour and frustrating and rejected anyone and everyone. This is the first time I talked to him and I found out that he had a girlfriend,'' Phoenix explained.

Wait? Jean thought that it was Phoenix that was Nexus girlfriend. She vocalized her thought.

''No, my dear. It is not us two who would have to share him. It is us three,'' Phoenix sounded sad, but still firm.

''No,''

''Yes.''

''When did you even have time to talk to him?!,'' Jean asked her.

''He is a telepath too and entered your mind when you were unconscious. I let him in, small my influence may have been, but I still could do that much. And no, he did not mess with anything in your mind, I assure you,'' Phoenix assured her.

Yeah, sure, cool, whatever, fuck it. This is her life now. Pure fucking absurdity. What was next? Someone with the power of squirrels that could defeat almost everyone? Sure, why not?

Ugh, perhaps that was too absurd.

Jean did NOT want to be part of this harem, but was too scared to be unmade by a god, even if her variants were technically responsible for all this.

Phoenix made her way around Jean and gently used her wings to hug her from behind.

''I assure you, my dear, spend some time with him. With our beloved and you will see that he is not a bad person. I promise you that you will be happy with us all being together, weird as our dynamics may be,'' Phoenix gently crooned.

Jean sighed.

''How exactly do you even imagine ... this... working? Like, am I the pilot and you are in the passenger seat oooooor...?,'' Jean trailed off. That was probably the most important thing she needed to know now, seeing as she was part of this... harem. Jean felt still weird about this.

''I'm glad you asked. While I don't mind letting you possess the drivers seat for most of the time, I do wish to spend some personal time with our beloved. Aside from that I will not interfere with your life. Please, my dear, just give this a chance,'' Phoenix told her gently.

Jean was not fooled, the previous threat still not out of her mind.

Did she even have a choice?

''Fine,'' Jean grumbled.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

''Ah, Jean, please come in. It has been a while since last we spoke. Feel free to take a seat,'' Xavier invited her in, when she opened the door and allowed him to see who it was.

Jean silently let herself in and let sat down without saying anything after closing the door behind her.

''Jean, clearly it is something serious that troubles you. I wish to help you, if you would let me,'' Xavier told her.

Jean tilted her head a little.

Phoenix was right. Both of them felt anger at Xavier, but she could clearly tell which one was whose feelings.

And finally, finally, she stopped hearing voices unintentionally. At least one silver lining in this whole fucking mess, that she has found herself in. She would have genuinely killed someone, probably the first person that crossed her, if after everything she still wouldn't have control over that.

''Did you ever plan on removing the blocks from my mind or was it just hot air that you were spewing?,'' Jean asked him.

Xavier tensed as her words finally registered. He slowly held up his hand to pacify her.

''Jean, please, let me explain,'' Xavier pleaded with her.

''I am letting you explain. That is why I am not attacking you,'' Jean talked slowly as if he was a child.

''Do not think about calling for help, or I will compress your brain to the size of a raisin,'' Jean threatened when she saw his arm move under the table. Violence came much easier to her thanks to Phoenix, but Jean wasn't entirely sure if that was a good thing. Not that she really made the effort to resist.

''Jean, I meant every word. Suppressing trauma forever is not healthy. Eventually I would have removed the blocks for you to process the trauma whenever you would have gained enough control over your powers,'' Charles put both his hands on the desk as a sign of peace.

''So why didn't you? So much better then the rest of us, that you would make the choice for us?,'' Jean asked him.

''No. Jean, please, you know I'm not like that,'' Xavier pleaded.

''I don't know Xavier. It is interesting how one detail can change so much. You failed to answer my question,'' Jean pointed out.

''I told you I had every intention of removing the blocks eventually, but I couldn't. I couldn't have foreseen that you would continue to grow in your power, or that you would grow so much that I could no longer enter. I tried to teach you about mindscapes and how to organize them so that you could undo the blocks yourself,'' Xavier tried explaining.

Jean ignored his sheer gall to try and push the fault on her. Because there was one other thing he wronged her with.

''Hmm. And the other thing? You did after all make the choice for me. I do not remember giving you an answer,'' Jean asked him.

''You... You frowned. You would have refused,'' Xavier confessed ashamed. Not his greatest moment.

''I would have refused,'' Jean repeated as confirmation.

The two sat in silence for a while.

''Jean, please. I'm sorry... I,'' Xavier was interrupted as a glass flew into Jeans hand. She put it down on the table.

''I'm your guest and yet you have offered me nothing to drink. What a poor host you make. Please, give me some water,'' Jean requested politely.

''Of course,'' Xavier readily agreed, but confused at what she was planning. He made to roll out only for his rolling chair to lock into place.

''Walk,'' Jean instructed simply.

''Jean, you know I can't... Hpm. Mhh,'' Xavier began moaning in pain and whimpered as he slowly stood up from the chair and began making his way over to closet. He stood there near the closet and when he understood that she was only going to control his legs, he grabbed the glass of water himself. The way back was agonizing all the same. And instead of allowing him to sit, he was first forced to pour her the water and only then was he allowed to sit again. He collapsed into his chair panting and gasping for breath as sweat rolled down his forehead from pain.

Jean picked up the glass and twirled the water, before taking a drink.

''It is a terrible thing, when those more powerful force weaker people into doing things. Isn't it? You betrayed me, Xavier. You robbed me of my cherished friends memories. All the fond memories you and I had are now tainted as our relationship began with a betrayal. I will not kill you. I am not that ungrateful for everything you did for me and you DO help people, giving many students a home. But you and I are finished. Any interaction we will have, and I hope there are as few as necessary, will be strictly to the point and professional. I wish you a healthy recovery, Professor Xavier,'' Jean drank the rest of her drink and left without much fanfare.

He should be glad that was all she did. She wanted to do more, but it was frankly not worth it. She was also so tired after everything that happened in her mindscape.

Xavier watched her go with sadness.

Once more he felt like he screwed up a friendship in trying to do the good thing. 

He winced. It will probably take some time for the pain to settle. He sighed. At least it was no longer the intense pain from beforehand. He rested his eyes trying to sort his thoughts.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gwen starred at the woman in her bedroom. She just appeared on her fire escape ladder and then opened the window from inside while she was outside, then let herself in. 

Telekinesis.

''Can I help you?,'' Gwen asked her diplomatically. She noted that she had amber eyes that seemed to glow with energy a little.

''Not really. I merely wished to see the one that got Bells infamous streak to break. And I have to say... I don't see it. I'm Phoenix by the way,'' she introduced herself, causing Gwen to tense.

It was a rather trivial matter to read all the minds on earth and find memories regarding Bell. With Jean having given Xavier a piece of her mind, it was her time to do something.

''Oh, relax, dear. I won't harm you. Bell, wouldn't like that. No, he would be terribly cross with me. Not like your silly spider powers would even be enough to help you protect yourself from me, anyway,'' Phoenix told her, chuckling kindly.

''If you think Bell cares for power then you are mistaken. He likes me the way I am,'' Gwen defended herself.

Phoenix raised an eyebrow.

''Congratulations, dear. He likes you the way you are. When he is dead, because he was too preoccupied protecting you, will that thought still bring you such comfort? Oh, poor little spider, she doesn't know? Does she? Bell does not trust you to protect yourself. You carry a piece of his energy that keeps you safe. At least I can fight by his side against gods and all other horrors, your silly little mind can't even comprehend,'' Phoenix mocked with the sweetest voice Gwen ever heard.

Gwen ignored the revelation about the energy in her that protected her. She would talk about that with Bell later.

Gwen clenched her fists. All her bravado was gone from previously when she talked with Bell. Suddenly confronted with Phoenix reality hit her. 

Phoenix looked at her fist and smiled coyly. She gently took it in her hands and patted her fist in comfort. Phoenix leaned her head closer to whisper in her ear.

''Relax, my dear. I am not completely ungrateful. I have seen your memories and while I fail to see why you succeeded where I have failed despite doing the same, I have to give credit where credit is due. But remember, my dear, you will always be second. Or third depending on what Jean wants,'' Phoenix viciously tore into her. She couldn't kill her in her jealousy, but at least she could show her her place.

Gwen smirked suddenly.

''I hope you truly believe that and that this thought comforts you, when he lies with you and whispers my name in your ear,'' Gwen mocked back.

Murderous rage flashed across Phoenix features and she moved to grab her face, but before she could touch Gwen she triggered the protections and Bell came to Gwens rescue and grabbed Phoenix' wrist.

''Jean? No. Phoenix... That was quicker then I anticipated. You just tried to attack Gwen,'' Bell frowned, correcting himself, when he no longer saw Jeans green eyes, but amber glowing eyes. Unless that fusion somehow gave Jean amber eyes, but considering the circumstances he arrived here under, the first assumption was probably the correct one.

''A lapse of judgement my beloved. It will not happen again. Thank you for pushing Jean to remove the barriers,'' Phoenix thanked him, smiling sweetly at him.

''I remember you saying something about goodwill if I fulfilled your request. Is that your goodwill? Attacking Gwen?,'' Bell calmly asked her.

''No, my beloved. I told you, a mere lapse in judgement,'' Phoenix shrugged and trailed her finger tip across his collarbone. Bell grabbed her hand to stop her from going further.

''How many lapses in judgement will there be? One is enough to ruin everything. Leave. I have no wish to see you currently,'' Bell told her.

''You don't mean that!,'' she denied.

''Leave or I will spit on our agreement. Once I cool down, we will try... this again. All of us meeting each other,'' Bell looked her directly in the eye.

Phoenix looked stricken, but knew that she probably pushed things too much today and so she gave Jean back control trusting her in the most awkward situation of her life. It also turned her eyes back green.

''Yeah, so I'm Jean. And you met Phoenix. Sorry about her. She is... intense. Nice to meet you for what it is worth,'' Jean tried to recover from the awkward atmosphere. She lightly cringed at her own words.

Gwen tried to have at least some peace in the harem between her and someone else, so she nodded.

''Nice to meet you too. I'm Gwen. Bell told me about you. And I suppose you know now that I'm Ghost Spider. Please keep that a secret,'' Gwen requested. Jean nodded and looked at Bell afterwards.

''I suppose he is easy on the eyes. I could do with someone worse,'' Jean lamely tried to see the silver lining.

''I know. Right. He may be acting all gruff and stern, but he is a big softie inside. Like a teddy bear, full of love for those he loves,'' Gwen patted Bell on the shoulder causing Jean to snort.

Bell just closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

For the first time since he came here, he cursed at ROB.

Somebody free him from this miserable fucking existence.

...

And this awkward atmosphere too, he guessed.

(A.N.:15783 words. Closing some plotlines as well as advancing some others. It is not just sunshine and rainbows for Bell. 

I wished to have given a little more attention to other characters, but I guess that is the curse of being a side character. I did the best I could. But I did want to show that Bells actions caused ripple effects, while characters could act outside of these ripple effects. Like with Madelyne and Scott. I hope what I'm trying to say makes sense.

Also, it is probably not completely clear by now, but Ultron will not be created. i know in the comics it was Hank Pym that created him, but in the MCU (this is a mix of the MCU and other universes) it was Stark with the Mind Stone and with the Stone being in Bells possession = No Ultron. I guess no Vision too. Just another way Bells actions have consequences.

Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed reading this chapter. And Cheers.)