-AKARI'S POINT OF VIEW-
"Well, it's life... but the worst version."
I hugged my knees as I sat by the riverside, the breeze brushing past, ruffling my hair. The water shimmered under the moonlight, reflecting my tired eyes back at me.
My voice trembled as I spoke.
"In the twelve years I've lived, I've never had a true friend. Not even a passing acquaintance. It's always been just me. Alone. Surviving. And to be honest... I convinced myself that I didn't care."
Beside me, Fuyutsuki sat cross-legged on the grass, her chin resting on her palm, eyes bright as she listened. The glow from the lamppost above her made her look like she was surrounded by soft gold.
"If I ever did something wrong, or worse, shamed the family name, even my parents would turn their backs on me," I muttered. The words stung as they left my lips. "They only praise me when I accomplish something that brings recognition to our name. Especially if Suzuki benefits."
"Your older brother?" Fuyutsuki tilted her head, curiosity in her gentle gaze.
I nodded slowly, my grip on my sleeves tightening. "Yeah. Suzuki Rikuu. He's part of the Kakusu Clan. He's always off completing missions. Important ones, too. He's practically perfect..."
A memory of his calm eyes and reassuring voice flashed through my mind.
"And then there's my little sister, Akane. She wants to be just like him."
Before I could continue, Fuyutsuki's eyes sparkled. "Wait—did you say Kakusu? That's my clan too!"
She turned and tugged at the back of her coat, revealing the Kakusu insignia embroidered neatly beneath the collar.
I blinked, a bit dazed, unsure whether I should smile or frown.
Fuyutsuki chuckled awkwardly, scratching her cheek. "Ah—sorry, I got excited. Little angel."
"Did you just call me a little angel?" I asked, a small, confused frown forming.
She stiffened. "That... kind of slipped out... Sorry. Please, go on."
I took a deep breath, letting the river's scent calm me. The dampness in the air reminded me of the quiet nights when I would mix chemicals in my room, hoping the fumes would erase my loneliness.
"Akane... she trains every day. Every waking moment. She's strong, determined, and loud," I said with a soft smile. "She wants to be like Rikuu. And I... I feel like I have to match them, too. So I study. Harder than anyone. Chemistry, mostly. Alchemy, specifically."
"Alchemy?" Fuyutsuki's eyes widened. "You're a budding alchemist, huh? That's pretty cool!"
I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. "It doesn't feel cool. I know my science. I can craft potions and reactions most adults can't. But outside that? I'm completely useless. I don't understand people. I say the wrong things, all the time. They call me creepy. Weird."
I could feel my throat tightening again, tears threatening to fall.
"I try to ignore it, but... I cry. A lot."
There was a moment of silence, filled only by the soft chirping of insects and the rustling of leaves.
"To be honest," I whispered, "I hate school. I wish I could be like Rikuu. He doesn't even attend. He studies alone, away from people, and everyone respects that. I wish I could do that too."
"So... you've just been doing your own thing since you were little, huh?" Fuyutsuki's voice was soft, careful not to break the fragile shell around me.
I nodded again, hugging my knees tighter.
She suddenly sat up straighter, brushing her bangs away from her eyes.
"You know... you should be like water."
"Water?" I tilted my head, puzzled.
"Yeah." She smiled. "In an airport, water is expensive. In a theater, overpriced. On the street, it's cheap. But it's still the same water. The same liquid. Its worth changes depending on where it is."
I blinked, her words sinking in like drops in a still pond.
"You're like that too," she continued, her smile soft and kind. "You're valuable, Akari. Maybe you're just in the wrong place. Someday, you'll find somewhere you belong, somewhere your worth is seen."
I bit my lip, feeling tears well up again. Before I knew it, I leaned forward and hugged her tightly, burying my face in her shoulder.
"Those words... I'll treasure them. I won't forget."
She gently patted my back, her warmth seeping into me like sunlight on a cold day.
"It's nothing," she whispered. "But promise me one thing, Akari. Don't... ever end your life. If you ever feel like you're drowning again, find me. Anywhere in town. Or ask your brother. I'll come."
"I... promise." My voice was barely a whisper.
After a moment, she pulled back, her eyes crinkling with a bright smile. "By the way, your brother—what's his full name again?"
"Suzuki Rikuu," I replied softly. "He's fourteen."
"Oh!" She clapped her hands. "You should join the Kakusu Clan officially! If you enroll, you won't have to attend school. You can focus on alchemy and chemistry as much as you want!"
I stared at her, my eyes widening. "Seriously?"
"Seriously," she nodded, determined. "Talk to Rikuu. He'll know how."
We stood up, brushing the grass from our clothes. The sunset cast golden streaks across the river, and for the first time, I felt the warmth reaching me.
"I'll... think about it," I whispered, a small, genuine smile forming on my lips.
She waved as I turned away, each step feeling lighter than the last.
On my way home, I stopped at the riverbank, staring at my reflection.
One by one, I removed my hat, sunglasses, and mask. They fell into the river, drifting away with the current.
Goodbye... fear. Goodbye... shame.
When I reached home, Rikuu stood by the gate, arms crossed, a calm expression on his face.
"Where have you been?" he asked, but his voice was gentle.
I tried to act nonchalant. "Just getting some fresh air."
"Fresh air, huh? With a mask, sunglasses, and a hat?" he raised an eyebrow.
I winced, turning away, my voice trembling. "Please... don't tell Mom and Dad."
I tried to walk past him, but his hand gently rested on my head.
"You know... as your big brother, I worry about you," he said softly. "If something's hurting you, you can tell me. I won't judge."
I hesitated at the door, glancing back. "It's not that I don't trust you... I just don't know how to say it."
And with that, I slipped inside, leaving Rikuu under the fading evening light.
The next morning, sunlight poured through the curtains. I blinked awake, finding something warm and soft on my chest.
"Big sis! Wake up! It's Saturday!" Akane chirped.
I rubbed my eyes, smiling. "Right, training."
We set up a small alchemy table in the backyard, and I taught Akane about transmutation, chemical reactions, and elemental theory, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
Just as I was pouring a vial, Rikuu's voice called out.
"Sorry to interrupt. Akari, you need to go."
"Eh? Where?"
"It's about Fuyutsuki-san," he said. "She wants to see you at the bridge."
I paused, clutching the vial, then nodded.
As I stepped away, Akane tugged my sleeve. "Come back soon, okay?"
"Of course," I whispered, ruffling her hair.
Rikuu walked beside me in silence until we neared the gate.
"Akari... you were about to jump, weren't you?"
I froze, my breath catching. I looked up at him, seeing the concern hidden in his calm eyes.
"You thought of that on your own?" I asked softly.
He glanced away, scratching the back of his neck. "...Maybe."
I lowered my gaze, gripping the strap of my bag.
"I won't. I promise," I whispered. "But... don't tell Mom and Dad."
He placed a hand on my head again, this time leaving it there a moment longer.
"I won't," he said. "Only because you came back."
"Thanks... big brother."
And with that, I walked toward the bridge where the next chapter of my life was waiting, each step lighter, each breath easier.