Entry #305
Hm.
Hmmmm.
What the fuck is happening?
The one who saved Sora from those dogs...
Was that Yakuza delinquent????
Please excuse me for my disgusting language; Mother would throw another fit if she saw this...
But my agitation remains unchanged, and I am now questioning everything about my worldview, especially since I had still held onto that prejudice against him up until this point.
I don't actually blame myself for thinking that way, since his actions prior to this revelation weren't exactly exemplary.
But I really should have taken his claim about reforming more seriously and checked up on him from time to time instead of waiting for him to slip up, which could've prevented my complete embarrassment today.
I can't believe my first thought was that he was trying to kidnap Sora in broad daylight when I saw him holding him down.
Setting aside his ties with the syndicate, how stupid would someone have to be to attack a child in the middle of a large crowd?? I feel ashamed for overreacting to such an extent, and it is a complete disgrace to how I've been taught to conduct myself.
I am planning to give him a substantial cash reward and apologize properly once again, because I feel like I wasn't able to convey my gratitude properly due to the time constraints with Sora's classes.
At the same time, I can confirm whether or not this improvement in his character is some sort of temporary clarity in mind, or if he really has received a proper wake-up call.
I hope it's the latter.
One other thing I wanted to vent about was how close Sora seemed to be with him, to the point where he was able to cull his tantrum far better than I ever could!!
How is that fair?
Sure, he might be looking at Yagami as his hero, but I'm his beloved, one-and-only sister, a bond that should logically transcend everything!
...Right?
I am woman enough to admit when I am jealous, and though I am extremely indebted to him, a small part of me is infuriated about this.
Well, there's nothing I can do about it except spoil Sora a little more.
I'll give him a little extra candy later, though it would exceed his weekly quota.
Strangely enough, I'm looking forward to my planned meeting with Yagami.
I don't think I was responsible for his reformation in any shape or form, but it's still gratifying to see your biggest headache transform into someone who is only slightly annoying.
End.
***
Entry #308
Well, I fucked up again.
I feel like I'm swearing too often lately.....
Hmmm...I shall write a one-page reflection after this to punish myself.
Anyway, during my meeting with Yagami, I may have crossed a few lines unintentionally.
I'm still not 100% clear why giving him a cash reward would be insulting, but I can see that he wasn't a big fan of my offer.
So, considering that I made a mistake, I'll let his ridiculous comment about comparing me to Sora slide!
I might be a little too magnanimous, but I digress.
And maybe I shouldn't have probed him about his change in attitude lately, as I could tell that it brought up some bad memories for him.
Looking back, I don't know how much I could've done differently if I knew beforehand that the person himself wasn't bad and that he was just a product of his surroundings.
Despite that, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I think about how harsh I had been with him.
This was a very important learning experience for me.
I know for a fact that I can't do everything correctly, but as long as I take away the important aspects of each mistake I make, I'll be happy with how I grow my skillset and conduct myself.
Prejudice is a very dangerous concept, and I'll make sure that it won't affect my thought process and decision-making in the future.
However, I also need to figure out why Yagami always manages to rile me up.....
It's slightly disconcerting how I lose my cool so often around him, and the bigger issue is that I don't even know why that's the case.
Well, since it's doubtful that he'll get into trouble again anytime soon, I won't even be meeting him that much, so there's no need to overthink it.
Ok, I'll go write my one-page reflection now.
End.
***
Entry #312
Tadano Senpai is becoming more problematic lately.
Although nothing significant has happened, I can tell that there's unresolved tension between us due to the differences in our outlook.
He maintains his respectful demeanor and speech, so it is difficult to even bring it up for discussion, and yet I dislike keeping such problems unsettled.
I am at a loss, but this is also an opportunity to learn and grow.
Internal conflict resolution is one of the most important skills to have, but it's something I haven't really encountered so far; therefore, I can treat this as practice for the future since our problems aren't profound.
I know his family is in politics, so he must value such skills as well.
Maybe we can work things out before it derails and becomes a significant issue.
However, that will have to wait until after the midterms end.
We still have to focus on our studies, and I will not tolerate losing my First Rank.
End.
***
Entry #313
Ughhhh.
Sora keeps asking to meet Yagami again.
Although I realize that he's not a bad person at all, I'm still reluctant to let Sora interact with him further.
Not because of him, but because I'm scared that the forces behind or against him might interfere in some way, no matter how small that chance may be.
I've heard that the syndicate he's part of has made a lot of enemies during their rise, and things like that are simply out of our control.
It's a shame, because I see how attached Sora is to that man.
After all, he lacks a consistent father figure.....
Father and both of our Mothers are not home very often, and even though the Nanny and I try our best to make home actually feel like home, you can't fully replace the lack of that stability.
Or maybe I'm overthinking things, and he's just admiring Yagami as a Hero.
After all, that guy is also still technically a child.
Either way, I'm against them meeting again for now.
End.
***
Entry #318
Things have taken a turn for the worse.
Too many things happened today, and here I thought I'd get to rest for a few days after the midterms.
I ranked first in my year, as usual, and the gap with second place was also satisfactory.
They should be happy with this, right?
But aside from that, two other key events related to these midterms occurred after these rankings were released.
First, I was informed by upper management to take action against the two first-year students who somehow failed the exams.
I believe my punishment of mandatory supervised study was generous enough, and yet that one student who did astonishingly poorly actually tried to refute me.
It's one thing to fail; it's a whole different story to defend that failure and deny the chance for improvement.
I simply can't respect someone like that.
Maybe I'm being too harsh?
I know that not everyone is like me, and that some don't really care if they excel or not, so I shouldn't be so rigid with my opinion on this matter.
Yes, I can't be prejudiced like I used to be.
I shall pay extra attention to that student for the duration of his supervised study at the Student Council, and as long as he shows determination to grow and learn, that's all that's important.
Speaking of growth, Yagami was the second event today, along with another girl from his class.
That female student is the type of person I respect immensely.
Her rise in the rankings, from being nearly at the bottom to skyrocketing to the Top 5, is not only inspiring but something that should be celebrated by the school.
And even Yagami, who has repeatedly shown his drive to better himself.
He was already ranked first in the entrance exam, a fact that surprised me when I found out, but he didn't even throw a tantrum when accused of cheating.
He calmly proved his innocence through his actions, a simple but effective mindset.
Though he still wasn't happy about the accusation in the first place.
This Kahawara Sensei does not have the most stellar reputation from what I've heard, and if Yagami's words have even the smallest trace of the truth in them, then I will make sure that he is properly reported to the Upper Management.
Students are only as good as their teachers, and if the teachers themselves are creating problems out of thin air, then this isn't conducive to an efficient learning environment.
And this is where the conflict with Tadano Senpai snowballed out of proportion.
Maybe the fact that I had to ask him to rein in his emotions multiple times today across the two separate meetings with the students played a significant role in this, but there's no denying that the crux of the issue was my decision to report Kahawara Sensei.
He could not believe that Yagami was able to pass the secondary test to prove his innocence, and put forth the idea that he was unfairly shifting focus to the teacher to hide his crimes as a distraction.
Which is completely ridiculous.
He passed the test right in front of me without breaking a sweat, and even that female student backed up his claims against their Sensei, so I could not stand Tadano Senpai accusing him without any proper basis for it.
Hence, we got into an argument.....
He left the student council in a huff, denying my offer to sit down for a proper conflict resolution meeting, and then sent me an email not too long ago, requesting a day off from school tomorrow.
I'm worried that we have burned the last thread on the rope tying us together, and if we don't work this out, it will end up becoming a major stain on my resume and cripple the Student Council at the same time.
Vice-President isn't an empty role, and I need him back without this infuriating attitude.
....This position is far more tiring than I ever expected it to be.
And I'm not sure how to proceed at this point.
I want to sleep.
This is a headache for tomorrow.
End.