CHAPTER 20
The chill of the night made Lily shiver.
Her boots felt heavy as she followed the group's track. There were almost twenty of them. Torches moved through the woods, the only spots of light in the dark night.
Lily had kept quiet since they had left camp, her eyes fixed on the ground, not daring to look up. She didn't know if the bodies were still falling, and she really didn't want to find out.
I will never look up again, she thought, trying to distract her mind by wondering who all those people were, how they had lived, if she had ever met them. She desperately tried not to think about Marcus. A part of her still hoped he would be against such a decision, but she knew she would only be fooling herself. Just like when she had wanted to believe those rockets would work.
She was tired of people dying, and she didn't want to end up blaming Bellamy for it. He had been desperate, but he was the one who threw the radio. And she was confused, because she couldn't bring herself to hate him for it.
Even as her eyes avoided the sky, they often searched for his figure. He was following Finn's every move, watching closely the traces he found. She wasn't sure she wanted to speak to him yet—partly because she didn't know what to say, and partly because she blamed herself for wanting to.
"Do you think she's alive?" Jasper's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. Her gaze moved to the boy nervously walking beside her. He cared deeply for Octavia; that much was clear to everyone.
"I really hope she is," Lily answered, touching his shoulder lightly. She wished she could have been more encouraging, but after everything that had happened she couldn't bring herself to keep her hopes up. It was too painful to watch them crushed over and over again. Every little positive thing seemed to be followed by a hundred negatives, and she was really starting to feel the weight of all that sorrow.
"Look! Over here!" Mbege's voice made Lily and Jasper share a hopeful look, and they quickened their pace to see what he had found. Bellamy was the first to reach Mbege at the edge of a small cliff. Lily's mind went back to Charlotte's death, but when she got closer, she was relieved to see it wasn't as high. Only a few feet separated where they stood from the slope below.
"What is it?" Bellamy asked Mbege, as Lily stopped beside him. He was staring into the darkness ahead, and Lily tried to follow his gaze, but she couldn't see anything—or anyone.
"Right there, do you see it?" Mbege pointed at a branch of a bush. Lily squinted, straining her eyes. At first she saw nothing, but when more people brought torches and flashlights closer, she was finally able to make out something. An object. But she still couldn't tell what it was.
"Is it Octavia's?" Mbege asked. Bellamy stared intently at it, his determination only sharpening.
"It's hard to tell," Lily said, looking up at him. "Bellamy, it could be anything."
"Or something," he replied, before turning slightly. "Rope!"
Lily's eyes followed him as he took a rope from one of the boys and quickly tied it around the nearest tree. She shouldn't have been surprised to see him ready to climb down a cliff for his sister, but that didn't make it any less dangerous. And still, she felt she had no place to stop him. Finn, however, spoke up.
"What are you doing?" he asked, frowning as he stepped closer.
"We need the rope to get back up," Bellamy answered without hesitation. Without waiting for Finn to reply, he threw the rope down and tugged on it to test its strength. When he seemed satisfied, he turned and asked for a flashlight.
Lily stood with her hands on her hips, watching him. After a quick breath, she took the flashlight hanging from her hip and handed it to him. He looked almost surprised that she was the one giving it to him, but after a brief glance at her face, he reached out and took it.
"Be careful not to trip, alright?" she said, watching him slip the flashlight into his back pocket. He glanced at her again, nodding silently. Then he passed the rope behind his back and started sliding down the cliff. Lily bit her lip as she followed his movements, her hands gripping the rope to keep it steady. Soon, the other boys did the same behind her.
Bellamy's descent was short, only a few seconds, and he reached the branch Mbege had pointed at.
"It's hers!" he shouted up, and Lily turned immediately to meet Finn's eyes. They shared the same thought: finding something of Octavia's didn't necessarily mean it was a good sign, but at least it was a trace.
"I'm going all the way down!" Bellamy called again.
"Bellamy, wait!" she shouted back, but he kept going. He was always so impulsive.
And he wasn't the only one. Jasper walked tensely toward the rope, stopping just before Lily, who was still holding it.
"Jasper…" she muttered as she watched him hand his torch to Finn. No one else seemed eager to follow. But Jasper started his descent, and knowing Bellamy was just ahead of him made her uneasy. She didn't want to stay behind, not knowing what was happening below.
She turned and met Finn's gaze again. He looked just as uncertain as she felt.
"We have to go too," she told him, more to herself than to anyone else. To her relief, Finn nodded silently. Lily nodded back, though her chest tightened with fear as she passed the rope behind her back. The darkness made it nearly impossible to see, but she was determined not to be left behind.
She started down, careful but quick. The slope was steeper than it had looked, and her hands clenched the rope as gravity pulled her forward faster than she wanted. From above, it hadn't seemed far, but now the descent felt endless. She prayed Octavia hadn't fallen all the way down. The rope shifted again, and when she looked back she saw Finn a few feet above her. They exchanged another silent nod.
Stay focused and don't fall, she told herself. She couldn't afford to be a burden. She had to stay focused.
At last she reached the bottom and let go of the rope, releasing a shaky breath of relief. But it didn't last long. Bellamy and Jasper were kneeling on the ground. Bellamy held the flashlight, his finger stained with what looked like blood.
At the sound of her steps, he looked up at her. His eyes were wide with terror, his body frozen. Lily didn't say a word, afraid she'd only make it worse. She simply walked closer and laid a hand on his shoulder.
Finn quickly joined them, kneeling beside Jasper. His eyes fixed on the ground, his expression offered no relief. Lily stayed silent as the boys studied the scene.
"Someone else was here," Bellamy said slowly. Lily's eyes widened, her anxiety spiking, though she fought to keep it in. Had Octavia been followed? Attacked? Hunted? No scenario she could imagine made things easier. This was the Grounders' world, and once again she felt the same crushing fear she had when they searched for Jasper.
Don't panic, she reminded herself, keeping her hand steady on Bellamy's shoulder.
Finn examined the ground behind them, then returned his gaze to the blood. His eyes only made her more uneasy.
"The prints are deeper going that way," he explained, lowering the torch to illuminate them.
"What does it mean?" Lily asked, hearing footsteps approaching from above. Finn looked at her, fear still etched in his eyes.
"That he was carrying her."
His words froze her blood. Lily's eyes shot to Bellamy.
"If they took her, she's alive," Jasper said quickly, trying to sound hopeful. His gaze moved from Bellamy to Finn to Lily, searching for reassurance. "Like when they took me, right?"
No one answered. They all knew Octavia being taken by the Grounders wasn't a comforting thought. Lily's fear grew heavier, but she forced herself to ignore the trembling in her fingers. She was here to help, and she wouldn't let her nerves get the best of her.
She followed Finn's footsteps, walking just a few feet from Bellamy. His shoulders were tense, his jaw clenched, but he never gave up, eyes fixed on the ground in search of his sister's trail. Jasper stayed close to Lily, and the others finally joined them as they moved forward in silence.
It was deep into the night, and Lily had no idea how long until sunrise. She prayed it would be soon; she hated the woods at night. They pressed on without stopping. Lily was grateful Finn knew how to track—she had never been good at it. While locked in the Skybox, she'd overheard that the Council had arranged lessons for the delinquents, but she hadn't been allowed to attend. Marcus had refused. Instead, he'd sent Charles Pike to her cell after his lessons, but tracking had never come easily to her.
Suddenly Finn stopped, and the others followed suit. What Lily saw made her fear grow. Skeletons hung from the trees. So many of them, as if the Grounders had marked the entrance to their territory with death.
"I don't speak Grounder," Finn said, turning to Bellamy, "but I'm pretty sure this means 'keep out.'"
Lily let out a shaky breath. Clarke hadn't mentioned skeletons when the Grounders nearly killed Jasper, and she hadn't seen any when they'd rescued him wounded in the woods. What if this was sacred ground? What if it was where the Grounders made sacrifices? Ancient civilizations on Earth had customs like that—maybe the Grounders did too. Or maybe these weren't even the same Grounders. The thought terrified her more. How many were out there?
They knew so little. And they weren't prepared for this. They didn't know what this place was—if Octavia was alive, if it was a trap, or if it marked the entrance to the Grounders' village.
"Let's get out of here!" one of the boys shouted. Lily turned as he continued, "This is crazy!" Without another word, he left. More and more followed, abandoning them to return the way they had come.
Lily moved closer to Bellamy. Dread was etched on his face, and the sight clenched her heart.
"Go back if you want," he said, not looking at her, his eyes fixed on the woods. "My sister, my responsibility."
She watched him go, wishing she could grab his arm and tell him it was madness—that stepping into that clearing surely meant death. But could she stop him?
My sister, my responsibility. He had already said those words, and Lily hadn't given them enough weight. He felt so responsible for Octavia that he was ready to walk to his death if he had to. He was unstoppable, stubborn. Nothing would change his mind. And she knew that if they had little chance of succeeding as a group, alone Bellamy would surely die. The thought hit her harder than she expected.
"Lily," Finn called as she stepped forward.
She didn't turn back. She knew if she did, she would realize how terrified she really was, and she didn't want to give herself the chance to falter.
"Bellamy," she called after him, following his steps into the dark.
"You don't have to come, Lily," he said without turning. "This isn't your responsibility."
"I knew you'd say that," she replied, catching up to him. Her hand found his arm, urging him to turn just slightly. "We don't leave people alone here. Do we?"
His eyes locked on hers, and for a moment she thought he might cry.
"We'll find her," she promised, knowing she was offering too much, but unable to stop herself.
Bellamy nodded silently, and she found herself nodding back in the dark.
Suddenly footsteps echoed behind them. Bellamy immediately stepped in front of Lily, only to release a breath when Jasper appeared.
"Glad I caught up," Jasper said, his voice trembling but his lips forced into a smile. He was clearly trying to lighten the mood.
Moments later, three more torches flickered through the trees. Finn led the few who had decided to follow Bellamy. Lily quickly counted them—only four.
"Roma?" Bellamy asked with a frown as the girl stepped forward.
"I'm here for you," Roma said, laying a hand on his arm. "I want to help you."
Lily's stomach tightened as Roma's hand lingered on Bellamy's arm. She shoved her hands in her pockets, forcing her eyes to the ground. She immediately felt foolish. Her mind should be on finding Octavia, not distracted by this.
"Alright," Bellamy said, sharing a look with Finn. "Let's keep going."
The night stretched endlessly around them, every sound in the woods sharp and unsettling. Their torches flickered in the wind, shadows twisting across the trees, making Lily's stomach tighten with every step. She couldn't help but imagine eyes watching them from the darkness, Grounders hidden among the branches, waiting.
No one spoke much. Each crack of a branch beneath their boots made Lily flinch, though she tried to keep her expression calm. Her fingers were cold around the handle of her torch, but she gripped it tighter as if it could keep her steady. Every now and then her gaze drifted to Bellamy's back. His shoulders were tense, his jaw set like stone. He hadn't slowed once.
Jasper walked close to her side, restless energy in every movement. Sometimes his eyes darted nervously into the trees, sometimes they flicked to Bellamy ahead. He wanted to be brave, but Lily could see the way his hands trembled, the way his breathing hitched whenever a sound broke the silence.
Finn stayed slightly ahead, crouching often to scan the ground, his torch low. He moved with a tracker's focus, his eyes scanning every print, every broken branch. For hours it seemed like he knew where to go, but the deeper they went, the harder it became. Lily could see the uncertainty creeping in, the frustration in the way he lingered longer at the ground each time.
As the hours dragged on, fatigue began to press on Lily's limbs. Her boots felt heavier with every mile, and she forced herself not to think about how long they had been walking. The night air was biting, the silence between them broken only by Jasper's occasional nervous mutter or the distant cry of some animal in the woods. Each sound made her heart beat faster, a reminder that they were in Grounder territory now.
She tried not to think about Octavia—about what being carried away might mean. Instead, she kept her mind on the people beside her: Bellamy's determined stride, Finn's careful scanning, Jasper's anxious but stubborn pace. It was the only thing that kept her from letting fear take over.
The horizon began to pale with the first faint light of dawn. Lily's eyes burned from exhaustion, but she forced herself onward, clutching her torch though its flame had nearly died. Bellamy hadn't slowed, his steps relentless, though she could see the weight of fear in the lines of his face.
Finn stopped suddenly, crouching again, and the group gathered around. Lily held her breath, waiting for him to point out another sign. But his expression told her otherwise. He searched the ground, his hands brushing aside leaves, his brows furrowed deeper with every passing second.
Finally, Finn sat back on his heels, his voice low, defeated.
"I got nothing," he said, his eyes heavy as he looked at Bellamy. "We lost the trail."
Lily instinctively moved closer, standing beside him. "So suddenly?" she asked. Finn kept glancing around with a frown, nodding, clearly frustrated. Lily's chest tightened. They were in an open clearing—Octavia couldn't have just vanished.
Bellamy let out a sharp breath, trying to keep his calm. "Well, keep looking."
Lily and Finn exchanged a glance. He didn't look convinced, and neither did she. But what else could they do?
"Wandering around aimlessly isn't the way to find your sister," Finn said finally, turning to face Bellamy. Lily saw Bellamy's eyes flare with anger at his words, his body tense like he was ready to snap.
"We should backtrack—"
"I'm not going back!" Bellamy cut him off, his voice hard, his stance unyielding. Lily quickly stepped between them, her gaze lifting to his.
"Finn doesn't want to give up," she said, forcing her voice calm even though her heart was pounding. "We can't start fighting each other."
"Hey," Roma's voice broke in, sharp and anxious. Everyone turned to her. "Where's John?"
Lily's eyes darted around, searching. Her pulse roared in her ears when she realized she couldn't see him where he had been walking just moments ago.
"I just saw him a second ago," Jasper said, his voice trembling.
"What's happening?" Lily whispered, panic creeping into her chest.
"Spread out," Bellamy ordered beside her, his tone rough. "He couldn't have gotten that far."
Lily turned to him, her eyes wide, her hand brushing his arm without thinking. "Bellamy…" she breathed. Their gazes locked, his dark eyes flashing with unease. He looked like he was about to answer when a dull thud broke the silence—something heavy hitting the ground.
Lily yelped, the sound tearing from her throat as she spun toward it. A body lay in the dirt. Her stomach dropped. She knew that frame.
"Oh my God," she whispered, her legs carrying her forward. "John?!"
Finn and Bellamy were right behind her, but as Lily reached the body, another strangled sound escaped her. Blood was pouring from a deep slash across John's neck, running down his shirt in a fresh, glistening trail.
Her breath came shallow and broken, trembling through her chest. She forced herself to stay focused, but her eyes wouldn't leave the wound.
"They used the trees," Finn muttered grimly, crouching down. Lily felt a tear break loose, streaking down her cheek. The Grounders were here. They had killed John.
Are we going to die? The thought chilled her to the bone.
"We shouldn't have crossed the boundaries," Diggs whispered.
"Now, can we go back?" Roma's voice shook with fear. Lily couldn't blame her.
Her eyes rose to Bellamy again. He looked stricken, his face tight, his gaze sweeping the shadows around them.
"Bellamy…" she whispered, desperate, searching his eyes for any kind of answer.
Before he could speak, Jasper's voice rang out, high with panic. He pointed with the spear clutched in his hands.
"There!"
Lily spun where he was pointing. Her breath caught—just a few feet away, a man stood among the trees. Tall. Broad. Armed. She couldn't see his face, only the glint of his weapon.
"There's another one!" Diggs shouted, pointing in the opposite direction. Lily whirled again, just in time to see another man charging toward them, spear and wooden shield raised.
"We should run," Finn said sharply, his voice laced with tension.
It only took a quick, decisive nod from Bellamy. And then they were all running, fear exploding into motion as the woods swallowed them whole.