I gave him the thing, the moment he was desperately asking for.
I closed my eyes, feeling that he was unbinding my ribbons, moved my dress from my abdomen slightly, and instantly, cold wind flowed over my belly. I felt the light touch of his fingers, which tickled me. I was understanding he was pulling his t-shirt over his head and tossed it aside, leaned over on me. I could feel his warm skin, to some extent, touching mine. He brings his nose closer to my cheeks and abrades it with it. Then, he runs down to my neck, then to my shoulders. He gradually slides down to my chest and gives kisses. I was feeling his warm breath coming from his mouth and nose, colliding with my skin. I get an instant feeling of butterflies in my stomach when he touches my belly and moves the nightrobe aside. I still could not hold my breath and the ups and downs of my chest and belly. I was feeling cold. I do not know what he was doing. Nano seconds later, I heard an unzipping sound, which made me aware of the next movements. I was holding the bed sheets tightly, and I was not ready for it. I heard the drawer closing sound, which made me vibrate as my eyes opened. I did not look at him, at first, I looked at my left side to find the reason for the sound. Then, he was putting the condom on and applying the lubricant. How can it get out of my head? Then, I closed my eyes. Thank God he didn't notice me, what would he think? Seconds later, I felt his movements over me, closing the distance from outside. Then, he inserts it inside me, and I feel him all the way down. I felt the pain, I felt my tears falling from my eyes. I did not get hurt, it was just some pain.
"It hurts the first time, pardon me." He leans down and mutters in my ear. Seriously? He did not have to tell me that as I knew already. Everybody knows it. It will not be his fault if I get hurt. And how does he know I was a virgin? "If you can't bear, let me know, I will stop." He kept saying it. Why does he care that much? At least, while doing it, does anybody tell his partners those? Or, show that much care? I was paused at that time. I couldn't hear properly.
He affixed him barely, inside me, showing more care than need than feelings. Although it was our first, he did not go as far as I think he would. He has been moving carefully since then. He kept cupping my neck and chest. Letting me gasp for more air, more breath. He did take his steps slowly. Gently, tickles me with his exhales. The chanciness turns into affectionate. I was feeling him, feeling how things felt in that moment. It was only us. Maintaining the silence, feeling each other, feeling the air, the breaths. I do not know why I said yes. Maybe a formality after I hurt him more than he did. I doubted him, I took him as suspicious. I just did all the things to him, he should do. Maybe because of it, I took the chance to let him think it was never my intention.
The rain kept falling outside, but I did not hear the sound. All my ears were hearing, our breaths. He kisses me, letting me feel all the caress he is giving. He slides his lips to my abs and kisses them with it. Momentarily, I felt the secretion of his prostate glands. Jolted me with the fluid. He exhales on my chest, and I can feel it. I was feeling my trembling all over my body. I was breathing so heavily at that time. I could not take more. I felt he moved his face from my body and kissed me on the jaw and then on the forehead. "It wi- it will hurt." He told me, with a panting voice. I did not get it, as I opened my eyes and he locked his lips with mine. He was not ready, nor was I. He, slowly, pulls it out of me, I unleashed his lips and moaned. Gasping for the last breath. He puts the last kiss on my temple and gets up after covering my body with his jacket.