Labored breathing, my whole body was on fire from excitement. I tried to pull my hands, which were tied above me to the bed, a few times—it was just instinct. I knew I wouldn't manage to free myself. Being trapped and vulnerable was the fetish I had learned to enjoy with the man who knew how to give me pleasure and masterfully dominate my desires. My mind seemed to wander in a lethargic state of pleasure; saliva dripped from my mouth down my neck, mixing with the inevitable sweat. The intense thrusts seemed to awaken me from my stupor, my legs kept tightly closed, held firmly by Gran Fort, so much so that I knew his fingers would leave marks on my skin. The moan escaped uncontrollably, incessantly; every moment I wanted to climax, trying to control my own peak.
— Your body needs this pleasure, you know that, and soon you'll come looking for me, it won't take long. — The voice of that man only made me feel more desperate for his lips on mine. I was addicted to lust, wanting more, but I knew I shouldn't give in. I shivered, completely surrendered, and soon the climax came, and the moans that were once shy escaped my lips, revealing my true lustful nature.
I was still thinking about the dream while walking behind my superior. It seemed so real; it had been a long time since I had such vivid memories. That man did everything he could to me during those three years and ended up marking my soul. The proof was that the clothes underneath me were a mess from being so soaked. I felt guilty for still craving sexual contact. I thought I could go without that kind of relationship, I didn't want anything carnal, someone to take me as submissive, to restrain my desires.
— Blauth, stop getting distracted. — Félix called my attention for the third time that day. I turned my gaze toward the man who didn't seem to have slept well; I didn't know what had taken his sleep, but the dark circles under his eyes didn't lie about his deprivation.
— Sorry, I had intense dreams during the night. — I said with a slight mischievous smile. Even though I wanted to seduce that man, how could I do that if he barely looked me in the face? He always seemed to look for something more interesting to focus on than me. It was annoying.
— Doesn't matter, pay attention. — We were walking down the long prison corridor; some shouts could be heard that didn't pique my curiosity. We were going to interrogate Grey. That filthy man.
The dark corridors, the cells with some depraved and others ready to be executed for crimes worse than theft. The place was unpleasant. We soon reached the last cell of the corridor, where the fat man was sprawled on the ground, bruised and still handcuffed. I felt no sympathy for that vile scoundrel.
— Wake up, trash. — Félix had no patience and rattled the bars, looking with contempt and his usual bad mood.
— More kindness, damn it. — Grey sat up, really worn out. My job at the moment was only to observe, I couldn't interrupt; Eric was in control.
— Tell me who's supplying you with opium. — Eric started more gently, though obviously irritated. — I know the shipment is going to Shanghai, so someone must be diverting an important load.
— Who guarantees my safety?! — Grey didn't seem too worried about not talking. It was strange how willing he was to cooperate with the investigation. I just needed to note some details of his speech. If he could say something worthwhile to complement our efforts, we could solve the case faster than expected, even without much hope or optimism.
— We do. You're going to a special prison, and there you'll be safe. — I noticed Eric was irritated because he wanted to punch Grey's face until he heard something important, but the man was an important witness.
— Bartolomeu Crow, he supplies me... — Grey said insecurely. — He's just a pawn, but I'm sure they managed to get something important from him. Just don't involve me in this now.
We left Grey in prison and headed to the port; the shipment would leave that night. Bartolomeu Crow, I knew that name, but no memory came to mind. I was trying hard to remember until Félix called my attention.
— I already had our expert investigate the name. No need for you to think too much about it. — Even with his grumpy way, I could swear Eric was worried about me. But I didn't want to fool myself, so I just looked at him, trying to spot any trace of this protective feeling.
— Alright. I just have the impression I've heard that name before. — I tried to be honest; that could help the investigation.
— Keep it in mind then. — The tone was casual but positive. When we got off the carriage, it was dusk, the ship was docked, with few people around. We would have to wait; someone would show up to start the procedures. We just needed to be positioned, having the perfect view of that vessel.
We entered the abandoned building, where there were several conveyor belts and irons, besides machines and other objects, all turned off and still, rusty and old. It was gloomy; the little light came from the moon, so I had to walk close to the investigator. My feet faltered when I tripped over an iron bar on the floor. I grabbed the taller man to avoid falling and making more noise. He supported me with firm hands but quickly freed himself.
— I don't bite. — The words came out with mischievous intentions, but Eric ignored me and continued until we entered the room with a huge window with broken glass, which allowed us to see the port. Now we just had to wait.
I sat on what I found; the old chair could hold my weight, so I relaxed and decided to observe Félix, who leaned against the wall, crossed his arms, and stayed silent. Really, despite all the cloth on his body, you could tell his muscles were strong, and that attracted me. I didn't understand where he got the willpower not to give in to my advances from the previous day. His eyes wandered everywhere but never passed over me.
— Félix, why did you decide to become an investigator? — I asked out of curiosity, standing in front of him. It was raining outside, and the night was getting colder, so I shoved my hands inside my coat while forcing him to look at me. He did, fixing his deep eyes on mine, but he neither smiled nor showed any sign of desire, which frustrated me a little.
— I used to be in the militia. Back then, there was a killer on the loose. My wife was a victim of that man's cruelty even though she was pregnant. So I thought that by becoming an investigator, I could find the culprit and kill him with the same cruelty he used on countless women at the time. — The coldness in his voice was frightening. There was so much bitterness.
— Did you find him? — Even knowing the answer, I insisted on asking. That feeling of helplessness was clear in his story. The investigator could have had a family if he hadn't been interrupted by someone who thought he had the right to take other people's lives.
— No, it's been 10 years, and I haven't found anything. — Now his face showed traces of anger. I reached out my hand toward his face. He turned his attention to me, noticed my touch, and didn't move to push it away. My heart beat so strongly at that moment that, even though it was a cold night, I felt a growing warmth from something so simple. His beard gently scratched my hand; I wanted to keep touching and caressing.
— May I comfort you, Félix? — My voice came out softer than planned, still loaded with all possible intentions. You're just a fucking doll, made to comfort men, but I'm not like that, little Nathan. I can love you, just let me love you. — Those man's words came to my mind again. Seconds later, Eric moved his hand and grabbed mine, pulling me away. Why did this man resist so much? Again I was rejected.
— Don't play with me, Blauth... — His displeased look hurt my pride, but before more words left his lips, a strong light came through the window, and I widened my eyes. I didn't understand, but Eric held me tight. Although trying to protect me, the impact was strong enough to knock me to the ground with the investigator on top of me. I could even enjoy the situation. However, I passed out the moment my head hit the floor.
The Gran Fort mansion's garden was known as the Imperial because it strongly resembled Queen Victoria's great garden in the royal palace—not that I had ever been there, but I'd read history and seen pictures. It was my favorite place in that mansion. I always ran away there to pick flowers, feel the grass under my feet, toss little stones into the water of the small northern lake. It was where I hid and found myself. I never imagined anything would happen in the comfort of my hiding place.
— What a handsome boy. — The man saying this was tall and frightening, badly dressed and smelling of sea water. I didn't like that intimidating person in front of me, especially because he followed me into the garden, taking advantage of no one being around. Even though I was a boy, I was short and showed no sign of strength, so I seemed more vulnerable in the eyes of someone so malicious.
— Don't come near me. — I knew his intentions; the way he looked at me said everything about what he wanted to do. I innocently went to pick flowers in the garden to decorate the dinner table, wanting to surprise Mr. Gran Fort, but that man had the impulse to follow me.
— Why? I noticed how you were looking at me, trying to seduce me. — At that time, I still didn't understand how I could attract people. Those thoughts weren't important anymore because the man advanced toward me full of lust. For every step I stepped back, he took two forward. I ended up backed against the mansion wall. I didn't want to be touched; I felt disgusted.
— Don't come near me, please. — I said crying. The man's desire increased, and it seemed like an incentive for him to grab my arms above my head, intending to restrict my movements. The more I struggled, the more he seemed to want to possess me. I tried to escape with all the little strength I had, but nothing I did kept him away.
— What the hell are you doing? — One of the castle's guards stopped the worst from happening. — This is Nathan; he's protected by the lord of this place. If you dare touch him, you'll end up dead, idiot.
— I didn't know. — That man didn't seem remorseful at all and just let me go. My legs wobbled, and I fell to the ground. I lowered my face in anger for not being able to defend myself.
— Let's go, Bartolomeu. — The guard said. I looked him in the eyes as he walked away from me. That man promised with his gaze that he would see me again and fulfill what he had promised to continue.
Bartolomeu Crow. I opened my eyes without being able to breathe; suddenly it was very hot. The memory that came to my mind during those moments of unconsciousness prevented me from thinking clearly. I looked around and noticed Eric's inert body on top of mine. There was debris everywhere. It was a trap. That was the first hypothesis that came to my head when I tried to get him off me. It was hard. I noticed smoke around; something was on fire. Our situation was pathetic; we had to get out of there.
I got up and forced myself to carry Félix on my back. Whoever tried to kill us failed. I dragged his inert body out with difficulty. I couldn't stop thinking that the investigator protected me using his own body. I couldn't control my heart, which raced wildly at that moment. I just tried to focus on the task of getting him out, despite my flushed face and the overwhelming emotions drowning me in that confusing sensation.
The police patrolling nearby came to investigate the cause of the explosion. We were taken to the institute's infirmary. My injuries were light and superficial, only my neck was cut, probably when I fell. Eric had a dislocated shoulder and light burns, some abrasions. After talking with the chief, submitting reports and briefings, I headed to the infirmary to see him. It was past midnight, and I didn't want to go home; I would sleep there.
I approached the bed where Eric was sleeping, sitting beside him, brushing hair from his face, wanting to look at him better, touch his cheeks with my fingertips, feel his skin against mine. But when I saw him wake up, I quickly pulled back my hand, feeling ashamed— the strangest feeling I had ever experienced, something like nervousness. My heart hadn't stopped pounding since early on.
— Are you okay, Blauth? — Funny that even in that situation Eric seemed grumpy. When would the other smile? He never stayed calm, always reactive, but still asked me that question so sincerely.
— I want to know about you. Anyway, I'm fine; you protected me, thank you. — I couldn't hold his gaze and lowered my head to anywhere. There was definitely something wrong with me; these shy reactions didn't fit. However, I was surprised when his hand touched my hair; the caress unsettled me; I didn't know what to say.
— Nothing serious happened, don't worry. Go to sleep. — The sliding of his fingertips through my hair only increased my nervousness, but I managed to meet that man's scowling face. He was so handsome and so distant. That display of affection, it had been years since I'd felt genuine care without any subliminal lust.
— Let me lie down with you. — I whispered more lasciviously. Raising my body, moving toward him to take advantage of the moment, but the bigger man touched my chest, stopping my voracious approach, and frowned.
— No way. Go sleep in your own bed. I'm not your mother to take care of such a big boy. Go, go. — He said, making an offensive gesture as if dismissing a stray dog. That man was impossible. When would he give in to the desires he felt for me? I went to rest, despite his gaze on me, it was strangely comforting, and I let myself fall asleep from exhaustion.
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