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Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category:
Gen
Fandoms:
鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Anime)鬼滅の刃 | Kimetsu no Yaiba (Manga)
Characters:
Tsuyuri KanaoDouma (Kimetsu no Yaiba)Hashibira InosukeKotoha (Kimetsu no Yaiba)Kimetsu no Yaiba EnsembleTwelve Demon Moons Ensemble (Kimetsu no Yaiba)Original CharactersDaki | Ume (Kimetsu no Yaiba)Gyutaro (Kimetsu no Yaiba)Kochou KanaeAkaza | Hakuji (Kimetsu no Yaiba)Kokushibou | Tsugikuni Michikatsu
Additional Tags:
Alternate UniverseFluff and AngstCanon-Typical ViolenceCannibalismDouma is a Little Shit (Kimetsu no Yaiba)BAMF Tsuyuri KanaoDysfunctional FamilyBad ParentingDouma grabs Kanao instead of the Kochou siblingsAnd grabs Inosuke before Kotoha can chuck him off a cliffDouma: I'm not like a regular dad I'm a cool dadSwordfightingDubious MoralityConditioningKanao and Inosuke as siblingsBlood and GoreLoyaltyFamily Bondingno beta we die like the KamadosCultsTsuyuri Kanao-centricCanonical Character DeathHashibira Inosuke Being Hashibira InosukeTsuyuri 'if anything happens to my family I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself' KanaoPast Child AbuseMorally Neutral KanaoProtective KanaoVivisectionAnimal Abuse
Language:
English
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Published:2021-11-21Updated:2026-04-06Words:154,514Chapters:39/?Comments:1,964Kudos:3,613Bookmarks:795Hits:129,182
Iron and Ice
SkilledWarriorKiwi
Chapter 4: Lotus bud
Summary:
Douma: *keeps doing shit to try and freak out a child*
Kanao: 😐
Notes:
🌠 Merry xmas! 🌠
Chapter Text
Her master insisted she learn how to read and write.
He also insisted he be the one to teach her.
"I'm perfectly capable of teaching her," her master said to Yoko and Kotoha when the two offered instead to do so. "She's part of my flock now. It is my responsibility to help and take care of you all. I can teach her, especially when she is still quite shy around others. Wouldn't do to overwhelm Kanao."
Kanao.
It still felt strange, for her to see herself as someone with a name. To have a name. Her parents never cared to name any of them. She had simply been a girl and that was all. Now she had a name. She found herself staring intently at the kanji of her new name, to the point her master put it on the wall of her room so she could look at it as much as she liked before she slept. It was the first word her master taught her how to write.
Each night for an hour before she went to sleep her master would teach her how to read and write. He taught her about the calligraphy styles, the brush stroke techniques and even the equipment they were using. Kanao paid close attention to his words and movements, watching carefully as he painted out kanji with a weasel fur brush and then had her follow him until her kanji were neat and precise. Her hands were always steady, ever since that day. She also was allowed to do painting though all she would do was copy the lotus blossom shapes from the wall art even if hers were a lot more lopsided. Her master didn't seem to care.
Her master was far more active at night, she quickly noticed. Whenever she saw him during the day he seemed quite sleepy. Prone to being more quiet and dozing unless directly talking to someone. But when she had her writing lessons with him after dusk had fallen he was far more animated and watchful. She could understand. Sometimes when she was locked outside of her parents hovel she found more peace in the night. The stars and the moon and everyone being asleep so she didn't have to worry about being hit.
While learning to write Kanao was as careful as possible with the brush and rich black ink she was using, knowing full well what the punishment for spilling any on the tatami mats would be. She liked having food and a bed and not being tied up or hit. She would be good and would learn how to read and write and not spill ink.
She learned quickly, being praised by the women for her speed. It seemed to be the same three who would visit her or take her on walks around the compound in the day time. Yoko, Misaki and Kotoha. Yoko had brown hair and eyes. Misaki had short hair and was missing one of her pinky fingers. Kotoha had black hair with bright green eyes and her squirming baby Inosuke who liked to stare and gurgle at Kanao. The master would leave them in charge of the girl when he was not present so she obeyed them when her master told her to go with them.
Yoko found some books for her, covered in bright paintings and kanji so she could learn the characters for animals and plants. Kotoha would sing to her. The three women would help her read the books even if Kanao continued to not speak.
Her master taught her how to spell 'little mouse' in Japanese. Her master seemed fond of still calling her that, even after she now had a name.
He also taught her his own name during one of their lessons. Douma. He did not have a surname. Or a family name, as he called it. Kanao did not have one either. She didn't even know her parents names, much less their family one.
"See? This is my name," her master said, tapping a sharp nail on the paper. "It's two kanji. Dou-ma."
童磨
Kanao inspected the characters closely, noticing how his name was written in far more compact and elaborate kanji than her own.
"Each have different meanings on their own. But I think that's enough of that, we're nearly done for tonight. So how about you write something for me to show how you've improved your brushwork?" he said, smiling at her. "Pick anything! Something you like the look of best. Or like writing best."
Kanao thought about that. It was an open request, which she was quickly learning was her master's usual means of orders. Rarely would he outright demand, instead phrasing them as requests. It was difficult for her to adjust, far more used to her parents blunt demands and rages rather than her master's serene demeanour.
Her gaze remained fixed upon her master's smiling features. She found it easier to watch people now she knew she wouldn't be hit for staring. Looking closely she could see what mood they were in through the minute twitches and shifts of their body, flexes of limbs or tensing of muscles. Her master was always neutral with his body language. She found that soothing. He also never looked away from her stare, unlike everyone else.
And the kanji within his rainbow eyes were as black as the ink she was writing in.
Deciding upon what to write, Kanao carefully picked up her brush and dipped it in the ink before placing it against the washi. Carefully she painted out the kanji, the characters not as dense as her master's name nor as simple as her own. Once done, she set the brush back down.
上弦弐
Her master's expression went completely blank as he looked at the kanji. His smile dropped, features becoming something stern and unsettling. Kanao tensed, hands clenching into the fabric of her kimono. Had she done something wrong?
"Where did you see this?" his voice wasn't angry but it was demanding.
Kanao pointed at her master.
Some of the blankness seeped from his features, thick brows furrowing, "Me? How can-"
He looked back down at the kanji then leaned forward, reaching out to take her chin between his thumb and forefinger. He studied her features intently for a long moment, his fingers upon her face feeling like icicles against her skin before his face abruptly relaxed.
"Oh, I see now," her master smiled, fangs poking over his lower lip. "You have special eyes, don't you? Humans don't notice, it's easy enough to make the kanji and my claws and teeth not seem there. It's usually only Slayers that can see through it. But you were never fooled, were you? You saw that within my eyes the moment you met me, didn't you?"
Kanao nodded, or as best she could with her master still gripping her chin.
With an amused huff, he dropped his grip and leaned back on his hands.
"If you're curious the kanji in my eyes says 'Upper Moon Two'. Do you know what that means?"
She shook her head.
"It means I'm the third strongest! There's Upper Moon One and then there's That Man. But otherwise I'm the third strongest out of us. Well I mean there's another six but they're pretty dumb and I forget their names every time one of them tells me."
She thought the moon was that big shiny disk in the sky when it became night but maybe she was wrong. Did that mean her master was a spirit? They were said to come out at night. Kanao occasionally heard the other people in their rundown village talk about it. Things in the deepest part of the woods, creatures that crawled from wells or lurked in the river. Kanao had never thought of those or cared, it was never a moon spirit hurting her. It was her parents.
"I suppose you don't really understand, do you?" her master straightened up, dropping his elbows onto his knees.
She shook her head.
"Ah no matter. Something to think about. Especially about those special eyes of yours. You know, when I was born my parents were really stupid and thought my eyes meant I was chosen by the gods? Isn't that the funniest thing? Gods aren't real."
Kanao stared. She didn't really understand her master. Did that mean he had the kanji in his eyes when he was born? She hadn't met many people so she didn't know how eyes should be.
"Well enough of that. Let's get this all cleaned up and you can go to bed," her master said, gesturing down to the paper and ink.
She nodded and reached towards the ink pot. But she was distracted, thinking upon her master's words about the moon and the kanji in his eyes. And her hand hit the ink stone when she went to grab it and it tipped, splattering over the washi and tatami in a gout of black. It seeped further, staining the paper and ruining the kanji she'd written and inching over the rush.
Some of the ink even stained her master's hakama pants, tiny black droplets that stood out starkly against the tan-coloured fabric.
"Oh dear," her master said but his voice sounded as if it were under water, so murky and distant.
Kanao couldn't move, hand still outstretched and eyes boring into the thick black ink stain. This was the first time she'd broken anything since her master had brought her there. The first time that she spilled something. She'd been so good, ever since her master had taken her. Was he going to tie her up? Stop feeding her? Make her sit outside in the dirt and cold and filth again? Would he drag her outside by her hair and kick her over and over until she couldn't breathe?
A clawed hand landed upon her head, but it didn't clench within her hair. Her master instead patted her on the head once, twice, three times before pulling his hand away. Slowly Kanao's gaze rose from the stain, her focus intense as she studied her master's form before hesitantly reaching his eyes. There was no anger in his body language. There was no coiling muscles to hit, no minute shaking of rage, no contortion of his features. His rainbow coloured eyes were as flat and watchful as they always have been. Neutral.
"Did you think I'm going to hit you?" her master asked, sounding genuinely curious. "That I'm mad because of the spill?"
Kanao said nothing, her eyes darting back down to the ink strewn across the paper and tatami.
"It's just ink. Here look-" Her master reached down, picked up the ink stone and promptly threw it at the wall.
She stared as it exploded in a splatter of black and shards, ink spewing all over an intricate tapestry and splashing against an elaborately carved vase.
"See? Who cares? I certainly don't," her master grinned at her. "One of those little worker bees out there will clean it up, don't you worry. Now, how about I show you something?"
He didn't wait for Kanao to nod or not, picking her up and tucking her into the crook of his arm. He swept out of the room, ignoring the greeting from the bald man dusting in the adjacent room.
Her master took her further into the temple, where only he was allowed. Past the big audience hall with its gossamer silks and banners. Further down the halls where she hadn't gone. Kanao didn't pay much attention to where they were walking towards, instead keeping her head pressed against her master's chest. The master said he didn't care about the ink spill. He didn't care about it. He didn't say he was going to not feed her or make her sleep outside or hit or kick her. Instead he just threw the ink stone at the wall because he didn't care about the stain.
But he said he was going to show her something. A cage to put her in? Because she'd been bad and spilled the ink and even if he wouldn't hit her she still spilled it-
Then her master slid open a shoji door, stepping into a room with tall walls. In one corner was a Buddha statue in prayer surrounded by delicately carved lotus blossoms scattered around it like petals.
One wall had dozens of shelves, running from floor to ceiling, and upon each shelf were numerous human skulls. All smooth bone and bleached white and bared teeth. There was an elaborately painted pot in the middle of the room, which also had a skull within it. Unlike the skulls on the wall, the one in the pot still had its hair. Long and black, spilling around the pot and over the ground.
Was he going to put her head in one of the few empty cubbyholes? Her skull wouldn't be that big.
"Aren't they pretty?" her master said, ignoring Kanao's churning thoughts as he gestured towards the wall. "That's all that remains of them. I keep the ones I like the most here."
She looked at the skulls. There were many of them and she could see the differences between them. Some were missing teeth or had long spidery cracks. Some even had teeth marks in the bone, as if they'd been nibbled on by a wolf.
"Did you know women are stronger than men?" her master said, in an almost conspiratorial tone. His chin was pressing against her temple, digging into her skin as he talked. "People think otherwise but they're wrong. They're stronger, have lots more nutrients in them because they can make babies in their bellies. Right here," with his free hand, her master poked her in the stomach.
She frowned. She thought she just had bugs in her stomach, that was why she had to drink that medicine some nights ago. And Inosuke wouldn't be able to fit in her stomach, he was half her size and he was the only baby she had met. How was a baby supposed to get in there.
"Well I mean not now, you're far too little," her master shrugged, jostling her in his arms. "But women are stronger than men so I get stronger when I eat them more. But even though you're just a little girl you're strong too. All the other humans get scared when they notice my teeth and claws. And the Demon Slayers...even a Hashira get scared when they see my eyes, even if they try to hide it. But not you! You saw me cut that man's head off and eat him in front of you and you didn't even care. You saw right away what I was. You're special. You're not like the others, those people I save. I eat them so they don't feel pain anymore, they don't suffer. They become a part of me and find happiness that way. But you're not scared. Even when you spilled that ink you weren't scared. That was strange, wasn't it? You were ready to be struck and didn't like it, but you weren't scared."
He reached out and patted one of the skulls, smoothing his hand over the white bone. That skull had noticeable teeth marks in it and a cracked jawbone. Kanao looked at the skull intently, her thoughts calming now that she knew she was not to be punished. She liked her master even if she didn't understand some of what he was saying. But he thought her special and that made her pleased.
"You know, I was as little as you when my parents created Paradise Faith," he told her, talons scraping at the bone. "It was so silly. Even as a small child I knew it was so delusional and awkward. But I wanted to help so I smiled and played along. Sat there and listened to all these adults crying to a child about their problems. Begged me to lead them to paradise."
Her master stepped away from the wall, settling down next to the pot with the skull overflowing from it with her still in his arms. The pot had lotus blossoms carved into it, reaching up from the bottom towards the lip in delicate gilded lines.
"It's quite sad that paradise does not exist," her master said, his voice low and sweet as his eyes shimmered with tears. "It's just a fairy tale that humans created with their imagination. The Gods and Buddhas don't exist either, none of them do. All these people here in Paradise Faith are so stupid and can't even understand such a simple thing. That when you die, you just become nothing. You just stop feeling anything. Your heart stops and your brain stops. Your blood grows cold and your organs freeze. You rot and return to the earth. Decay until nothing is left. As long as you are a living creature it is unavoidable. It must be difficult to be so dumb for all those who think otherwise. But I don't think you are, Kanao. You seem a lot smarter than all of the other people here. You're like me, aren't you? Even though you're such a little human. So young but your eyes already see so much. You know that, don't you?"
She wasn't sure what to say but she felt pleased the master felt that she was like him. That must be why he was taking good care of her. That must be why he didn't punish her for the ink. And if any type of afterlife didn't exist, then she was glad her current life now was comfortable. She had food, a bed, hot baths and was being taught how to read and write and her master did not hit her even when she spilled something.
Her master lifted her from his arms, placing her down next to him and in front of the pot.
"See, that's why I don't care about that ink. It's just a stain. It can be scrubbed out just like blood," he smiled at her, all sharp white fangs. "You're such a smart little girl. You saw what's in my eyes. Usually Slayers have to train to do that but you saw the kanji right away," her master said, tapping a claw beneath an eye.
Kanao nodded. She did see it right away. His eyes were very bright in the dark, when her previous master had answered the door. Then got his head cut off and her new master took her.
"What do you think of the pot?" he said, gesturing towards it with blue claws. "A friend made it for me. Isn't it pretty? I planted the skull in it. Look, touch it."
She reached out and touched the pot. It was cool and smooth beneath her hand. She touched the skull. It was cool and smooth beneath her hand. Then she touched the hair attached to the skull.
"Hm. Now what was her name?" her master murmured, pouting as he stared intently at the skull. "I have a good memory. It must be around in there somewhere-"
Then she didn't have much time to think as her master suddenly jammed his index finger into the side of his head, puncturing all the way in to the knuckle. Crimson blood welled up and began to slide down the side of his face even as his features twitched oddly as he twisted his finger. His eyes grew heavily bloodshot, blood beginning to spill over the lids like tears.
"Oh! I remember her name now!"
There was an unsettling sucking noise as he pulled his finger out of his skull, the puckered crimson wound sealing shut the near instant his claw was pulled out.
He patted the skull, leaving small red prints. "It was Tsuru and she was such a dear thing. Always trembling and she was so wild about her hair. Apparently her mother was so domineering. Kept her locked up in the house, kept her pretty and painted like a doll. Her hair was always so long and shiny like ink. When she came here I told her how much I liked it. And I still do! So she let it grow and grow and grow until it reached her knees! And then one day it was time for her to go to paradise. Oh she was so willing, so stupid and soft," her master grinned at her, all sharp fangs and glittering rainbow eyes.
Kanao stared at him. Then after a moment she nodded. That was yes, that she understood. That dead lady Tsuru had long hair and her master liked it and so kept it after he ate her. She understood the story.
Her master's smile faltered and he pouted.
"You got so nervous about the ink but all this was just...nothing?" he seemed confused and wiggled his hands at her. The blood had evaporated from his finger and the thick threads of blood through his eyes had ebbed. Even the blood on the skull had vanished, as if it had never been there at all.
Kanao didn't understand. Was she supposed to do something? Do what he did? She wasn't sure if she could stick her finger in her head like that. She looked down at her hands, which lacked the sharp claws of her master.
"Oh never mind then. But, speaking of hair. Why hasn't yours been cut? It's so choppy," he tugged it free from the loose pony tail. It spilled over her shoulders and across her brow, the ends frayed and jagged.
It was a lot shiner now it was getting washed and shampooed. It also smelled nice, sometimes she would smell it while going to sleep.
"Hair like mine looks good all spiky and wild, if I say so myself," her master grinned, flicking a long lock of his own silver gold hair. "But your hair is very straight, such a right mess looking the way it does. No matter, I'll cut it for you."
It was how Kanao found herself sitting next to the pot, pulling a jade comb through the hair of the skull while her master cut her own hair to an even length. Rather than scissors or a knife, her master was using a large golden fan. It shimmered with his movements, engraved with lotus blossoms and so sharp that he only had to pull a strand taut and press the edge of the fan against it and it would slice through. She only stopped brushing the skull's hair when her master maneuvered her around so he could cut the jagged hair before her face, the fan's edge a hairsbreadth from her skin as he cut a sharp fringe just above her brows while the rest of her hair fell down her back just below her shoulder blades.
When her master was satisfied with her haircut, he took the jade comb from her and brushed her hair until it was smooth and anyway wayward cuttings fell free. Then he tied up the length in a sideways ponytail on the left side of her head, not once scratching her with his claws.
"There we go! You look much better now, hair all neat and tidy. Not that little scruffy pelt before. Though seems to be missing something..." his rainbow eyes narrowed, studying her speculatively before snapping his fingers and hopping to his feet.
He went to one of the walls and opened one of the cabinets inlaid within and Kanao saw how within it was absolutely covered in kanzashi. The hairpins were of all shapes and sizes, richness and flamboyancy, colour and shine. There was hundreds of them, perhaps thousands, pinned to the wall like an assortment of butterflies. Some were of simple cloth while other heavy with priceless jewels. Her master hummed, inspecting the wall before shaking his head and shutting it before moving to the next. Like the last, it was filled to the brim with kanzashi.
"Ah, this one!" Her master plucked out a hairpin, turning to Kanao with a wide toothy smile.
It was a bira-bira, a pin of ivory with a small lotus bud at the top. The lotus bud was carved from a gleaming white quartz. A small string of pearls dangling from it, no bigger than raindrops that shimmered in a myriad of colours.
"White lotus buds are said to be symbols of mental purity and spiritual perfection," he said as he knelt down to slide the pin into the base of her sideways ponytail. "They are beautiful and pure, even growing in such a muddy, material world. Symbolizing potential."
The pin shimmered slightly as she tilted her head to the side, the line of pearls swaying with the movement.
Her master grinned at her, tapping her nose with a long talon, "And I think you have quite a lot of potential, little mouse."
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