"Sirin, I'm about to show you a miracle."
As he spoke, Li Zihan casually placed his hand on the chest.
Although his luck stat had been dragged down by Gilgamesh, Karna, and Cú Chulainn, he was, after all, a player of legendary luck in his past life.
Getting what he wanted in a single pull was no problem at all.
This was the confidence of a European Emperor.
Under Miss Sirin's curious gaze, her lover effortlessly crushed the lock on the chest and threw it open.
And then—
The symbolic color of the Silverash family began to shine.
Seeing that color, a color that would be enough to make every Doctor on Rhodes Island collectively lose their minds, Li Zihan's heart suddenly began to twitch.
The photosensitive epilepsy he never quite cured in his past life was acting up again.
"Ah-Li, what's in the supply chest?"
The girl who had been called over to witness a miracle walked curiously to Li Zihan's side and peeked inside.
And then—
She saw them. From the Type-Moon world, the exquisite and peerless Solitary Nine Keys.
Three sets each of blue, green, and red.
The infamous Black Keys.
Before they were removed from the summoning pool, they were the divine artifacts that made countless Gudas want to feed the game developers to Fou.
So when you said a "really powerful" chest, did you mean one of those chests in Mondstadt that are written as "treasure" but read as "trash can"?
For some reason, Li Zihan was reminded of another game under miHoYo's banner.
Traveler: "Brother Developer, let's both take a step back regarding the arguments about this game."Developer: "How so?"Traveler: "I don't deserve to spend money on your gacha, and you don't deserve to have parents."
That was exactly how Li Zihan felt right now.
He didn't deserve to open chests.
And the System didn't deserve to exist.
"Are these… useful?"
Unaware that the items in the box had struck fear into the hearts of countless Gudas, the girl cheerfully took out all nine Black Keys.
"Very useful. Paired with the Church's magecraft—Baptismal Rite—they can one-shot Duke Dracula," Li Zihan said, forcing a smile while feeling like he wanted to f— Beowulf.
Black Keys are a type of exorcism equipment used by the Holy Church in the Type-Moon world.
They are symbolic tools for Executors, but because they are difficult to use and lack physical destructive power, very few people favor them.
They are only moderately effective for exorcism, but considering that many members of the Holy Church are masters of the Baptismal Rite for dispelling spirits, this small advantage is actually…
Completely useless.
"Then let's keep them."
Not noticing her lover's awkwardness, the girl nonchalantly reached into the shadow at Li Zihan's feet and stuffed the Black Keys inside.
"Go on, Ah-Li, keep opening."
Unaware that if her lover actually wanted Black Keys, he could simply take a trip to the Holy Church and buy them by the pound, the girl leaned her arm on the young man's shoulder, brimming with excitement.
She seemed to thoroughly enjoy the thrill of watching her lover unbox things.
"No… why don't you do it?"
Feeling that his and Gilgamesh's luck had probably been torpedoed by Karna and Cú Chulainn, the young man offered a polite but strained smile.
Seeing her lover's awkward grin, Miss Sirin's slender eyebrows furrowed for a moment before relaxing.
A teasing smile spread across her lips.
Ah-Li's gacha luck is actually terrible.
"I think the joy of opening chests is something that should be shared with your lover."
The young man, who had clearly just remembered that the white-haired dango beside him was an out-and-out European Emperor, very naturally took her small, soft hand in his.
"Hmph, hmph. Leave something like unboxing to me."
Not particularly minding that her lover was trying to leech off her good luck, the girl placed her hand on the next chest.
And then—
A Golden Legend.
It was a Summoning Ticket.
[Summoning Ticket (Divine Spirit): Randomly summons a Servant with Divinity B or higher, or one possessing a Divine Core, and grants the holder three Command Spells.]
Li Zihan fell silent.
He now seemed to understand what it meant that not all people are created equal.
Miss Paramecium had casually pulled a golden item.
He, in a state of extreme frustration, had pulled the Solitary Nine Keys.
"Envious, Ah-Li?"
Miss Paramecium, who was clearly aware of the difference between the glory of silver and the splendor of gold, hummed smugly, her exquisite face filled with pride.
"It's alright."
The young man, who was definitely not jealous at all, took out a Black Key and began meticulously wiping it with a handkerchief.
"It's just an item to summon a divine spirit's bunrei. Nothing to get too excited about."
"In that case, Ah-Li, why don't you try pulling one more yourself?"
Although she didn't play many mobile games, she knew the vast difference between gold and white rarity. The teasing smile on the girl's lips grew more pronounced.
The young man, now feeling that he should have chosen Servants with higher luck stats when creating his composite spirit graph, fell silent.
His luck simply did not support him in games of chance like this.
However—
Fortunately, the System was a walking bug-making machine. As long as you looked hard enough, you could always find an exploit.
Not particularly caring about wasting a chest, the young man felt his lover's teasing gaze, steeled his resolve, and roared inwardly.
"Karna, Gilgamesh, Cú…"
Wait.
Something about that lineup felt wrong.
Let's start over.
"Karna, Gilgamesh, lend me your luck!!"
And then—
A flash of purple light.
Inside was a single potion.
A potion that Gudas would also find very familiar.
[An elixir created by a certain magus skilled in manipulating the hearts of others.][Its effects are so potent that even Servants cannot resist it.][However, one must be careful when consuming it.][The emotions hidden in one's heart will transform into an uncontrollable, ferocious love, burning both you and your beloved to ashes.]
It sounded like another yandere-making machine, just like the Jizo Mitama.
The young man, who hadn't used the Jizo Mitama in a long time precisely because he was afraid of encountering a yandere, felt his eye twitch.
He immediately tossed the potion into his shadow.
This thing had to be hidden well. If any of the girls around him drank it, he would be completely finished.
"I'm an African Chieftain. I surrender."
The young man sighed, finally realizing that asking Gilgamesh for luck would only earn him a "begone."
"You should have just said so earlier."
The white-haired girl giggled.
"Just leave the lottery stuff to me."
She placed her hands on the remaining two chests, ready to open them.
But—
Just then, something strange occurred.
"It has been a long time, my dear child."
A warm voice, one that couldn't help but make one think of light, echoed across the desolate landscape.
Li Zihan narrowed his eyes and looked toward the source of the sound.
It came from an incredibly handsome man.
He held a short sword in one hand and, in the other, a long spear with a strange, trident-like tip.
He stood there, smiling.
His golden eyes held a radiance equal to that of the sun.
On pure instinct alone, Li Zihan identified the newcomer.
He was Lugh.
Cú Chulainn's biological father.
PS: Why is Big Dog's dad's name a forbidden word?