"...This is?"
My eyebrows twitched violently as I stood before my house, staring at the mountain of cardboard boxes neatly stacked at the entrance.
There were at least five of them. Big ones. And not a single one had a sender's name or a delivery slip.
"…What the hell is this? Some kind of cursed Amazon shipment?"
Before my thoughts could spiral further, a voice as graceful as ever rang behind me.
"Now then, Ise. Carry these to your room."
I spun around. Rias was standing there, hands on her hips and a smirk on her face that told me she'd planned this.
"Huh? Wait a second. Carry? To my house?"
"Yes." She nodded, completely unfazed. "This is Asia's luggage. You'll be carrying them inside. It's what a proper gentleman would do."
My brain halted.
"A—Asia's… luggage?"
I was wondering when that's going to happen. In canon, Asia lives with Issei but she didn't came after I save her, so I was thinking she won't came to live with me, instead she would just live with Rias. Guess I was wrong, I am happy, I am wrong.
"She's going to live here? With me?"
Rias placed a hand gently on my shoulder and leaned in.
"Yes, from today forward, Asia will be living in your house."
Kaboom.
A direct hit to my soul.
I staggered back a step, processing her words.
But..
"Wait, isn't this something I should have been warned about?! Like, I don't know, yesterday?"
"You're complaining?" Rias asked, tilting her head innocently. "I thought you'd be thrilled. Or is the great Issei Hyoudou suddenly shy around girls?"
"That's not it! I'm just... surprised! Shocked! Ecstatically unprepared!"
"Good. Then you'll adapt quickly."
I was still trying to reboot my brain when we carried the boxes inside—well, I carried them while Rias supervised—and set them neatly in the hallway.
That's when the real trial began.
Family meeting.
In the history of mankind, there are few events as critical to a young man's fate as the Family Meeting. It was an ancient battleground where words, will, and a bit of charm determined the final verdict.
But the moment we stepped inside, I noticed something off. My parents—the same parents who usually gave me earfuls for forgetting to put away laundry—were down on their knees in front of Buchou, smiling like they were meeting their daughter-in-law.
Rias's elegant aura, her confident posture, the way she smiled with the grace of a noble… it was like my house had become a palace. Mom and Dad were completely overwhelmed.
My father tried to straighten his back and act cool, but he fumbled it.
"U-Um... Miss Rias, this is quite the sudden visit…"
"Okaa-sama, Otou-sama," Rias said with a bow full of elegance and poise. "Due to certain circumstances, Asia Argento will be staying here from today onward. I ask for your understanding and approval."
Straightforward. Direct. Beautiful.
I could almost hear a fanfare playing behind her.
My mom and dad looked at each other, whispering.
Asia stood behind me, hands folded nervously in front of her, still wearing her uniform and that pink cardigan she liked. Her innocent blue eyes darted between my parents, and I could tell she was nervous.
Then, my dad turned to her.
"Asia-san, was it?"
"Yes, Ise-san's Otou-sama," she replied, bowing with practiced grace.
There was a pause.
Then Dad let out a long, emotion-filled breath.
"Otou-sama… huh… It's been so long since someone that cute called me that..."
"Otou-san!" my mom hissed, elbowing him hard in the ribs.
My dad coughed, trying to recover some of his dignity.
"E-Erhem! A-As much as I'd like to say yes, you do understand that our son is... well… how do I put this delicately... a raging pervert."
"Hey!!" I shouted, betrayed. "Dad! You're throwing your own son under the bus!"
He ignored me, his hand stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Asia-san, are you sure this is the environment you want to live in? There's a non-zero chance our son will try to peek while you bathe."
"D-Dad!! That's character assassination!!"
Yes, it was previous issei, who was raging pervert.
"Ise is... enthusiastic," Rias admitted, smiling. "But I trust Asia will be perfectly safe. And if anything happens, I'll be sure to punish him."
The way she said "punish" sent a blood rush to my you-know-where.
Asia bowed again. "I don't mind! I want to stay close to Issei-san. He saved me, and... being with him makes me feel warm."
"W-Warm?" my dad stammered. "That's... Ahhh, that's dangerous! Too dangerous!"
"Otou-sama," Asia said again, tilting her head and smiling sweetly.
My father froze.
Mom sighed in defeat. "If we say no now, we'll just look like the villains, won't we?"
"That's right!" I shouted. "Besides, I am a perfect gentleman! I won't peek at her or anything."
"You won't?" Asia asked.
I just looked at her. "Do you want me to?"
"No," Mom said immediately. "You are not."
After a moment of family deliberation—complete with my dad quietly doing a fist-pump while pretending to be skeptical—the verdict was in.
Asia Argento was officially my housemate.
~~~
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